X-Isle

by Steve Augarde

  “Guess which way me gonna vote,” said Jubo. “You wan’ me give you a clue?” He waved the lighter a couple of times and put it away. “Jus’ keep walkin’,” he said.

  The altar was a horrible sight. The blackened remains of Old Bill still lay there, a charred and rain-sodden mess amongst the bits of unburned wood. Baz looked at it for a moment and turned away. No matter how much he had suffered at the hands of Steiner and Hutchinson, he knew that he could never condemn them to that – nor stand by and watch it happen. He wondered if he was going to be put in the crazy position of having to defend the pair.

  “OK,” said Gene. “We’ll take a vote then.” He waved a hand towards the altar. “Either we sling ’em on there and set light to them, or we kick them off the island. Which is it gonna be? Hands up those who want to watch them burn.”

  Hutchinson collapsed. He fell to his knees, wailing like a child. “No... nooo...”

  “Hands up!” cried Gene.

  But nobody raised a finger, not even Jubo. The boys shuffled uncomfortably, glancing at one another beneath lowered brows.

  He was a clever guy, thought Baz, that Gene. He’d known all along that nobody in their right minds would have voted for such a terrible thing once they were faced with the reality of it.

  “OK. So they can have the dinghy and take their chances. Come on.” Gene moved away from the altar and walked to the edge of the jetty. “I’ll get the engine started.” He began to clamber down the stony slope.

  Steiner and Hutchinson were being roughly manhandled across the jetty. Maybe there was a general feeling that they’d got off lightly, or maybe some of the boys saw this as their last chance to get a bit of revenge in, but the capos were being helped on their way by numerous sly kicks and punches.

  Baz didn’t join in. It had already occurred to him that the capos weren’t getting off lightly at all...

  Then, amidst the hoots and jeers of the boys, came one of those sudden and unaccountable pauses – a chance moment when everybody must have been drawing breath at the same time. An empty space. And into that space, from somewhere behind him, Baz heard a voice, low and urgent.

  “Well, we can’t go on like this. You’re gonna have to tell him sometime—’ The speaker stopped, apparently aware of the silence. Baz turned round and saw Steffie’s guilty face, a sideways glance towards him, her mouth still close to Ray’s ear.

  Baz could feel himself beginning to burn inside, a horrible sense that he was being betrayed in some way.

  Then Dyson was grabbing his arm, pulling him towards the slope of the jetty. “Come on, mate. You’re missing it all.”

  Baz knew that he was missing something, but he couldn’t figure out what.

  Drrm-dm-dumdum...

  Gene had already got the motor started. He stood up in the stern of the boat and shouted, “OK! Get ’em in here.” Steiner and Hutchinson were being hustled down the slope.

  Baz looked at the dinghy, the little Seagull motor chugging away, and it was like looking at an old friend. He knew every bit of that thing now, a deep and personal contact. Yet it had only been today that he’d first sat in it. Only today. Already it seemed like a lifetime ago.

  “Hey, Gene!” he shouted.

  Gene looked up at the sound of his name, brushing his fingers back through his unruly curls. “What?”

  “There’s a fishing line in there,” said Baz. “I wanna keep it. Get it for me, willya?”

  Gene looked around the boat and stooped down. “What, this thing?” He held up the fishing spool.

  “Yeah.”

  “OK.”

  Steiner and Hutchinson were in the boat. They sat side by side in the stern, two wretched figures, and Baz could see Gene leaning forward and giving instructions. Move the tiller this way, move it that way. Throttle open, throttle closed. Reverse gear, forward gear. Baz knew all about it.

  Jubo and Amit had moved a little closer to the waterline. Baz saw Jubo stoop to pick up a stone, and then Dyson, off to his right, do the same.

  Gene got out of the boat. He was pointing towards the crane and church tower, dark shapes in the mist. He might have been giving directions to a couple of tourists.

  The boat began to pull away, bumping awkwardly along the concrete blocks of the jetty. Steiner was at the tiller. He swung it round the wrong way, and the dinghy hit the jetty again. Then he seemed to get the hang of it, and the boat nosed its way into clear water.

  “Ow!” Hutchinson grabbed at his elbow – somebody had winged a stone at him. Jubo.

  “Ey! That one from me, you rass!”

  Another stone. And another. Gene ducked low as a growing hail of stones rained down towards the boat. Everyone had seen their chance, and now they were all at it, scrabbling around on the side of the jetty for likely lumps of stone and concrete.

  “Yah! Get out of here, you friggin’ weirdos!”

  The engine nearly cut out – Steiner presumably having turned the throttle the wrong way – and Hutchinson’s voice could be heard, shouting above the catcalls of the boys.

  “You call me a weirdo?” He twisted round in his seat, his face snarling with pain and rage. “Yeah, well, I know a few things you don’t! Ask that one!”

  He raised an arm and pointed to the top of the jetty, where Nadine and Ray and Steffie stood all in a row. “Yeah – that little tart!”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  A couple of the boys turned round to look, just briefly, but most took no notice. They continued to hurl stones after the receding boat.

  “Yah! Bloody good riddance!”

  Baz stared at Hutchinson. It was the second time that the capo had hinted at some private piece of knowledge, some hidden information. What was it that he was carrying away with him?

  Steiner had apparently learned how to work the throttle, and the dinghy was soon out of throwing range. Its outline became less distinct as it approached the fallen crane and tower, heavy mist enveloping it, flattening it to a vague grey shape. The engine note slowed. Baz could just see the dinghy edging its way through the arch of stone and metal, and then it was gone, disappearing into the mist.

  They stood there motionless, the X-Isle boys, and listened to the fading sound of the Seagull motor. For a long time it remained audible, a buzzing insect, shrinking as it flew. A bee... a fly... a gnat... a nothing. Gone.

  And even when there was nothing left to see or hear, each boy remained where he was, looking out at the blank white fog, a long moment of reflection.

  Gene turned round and climbed the stony slope, and then others began to move as well. They became a group again, gathering together at the top of the jetty, drawing Ray and the two girls into their number.

  Gene handed Baz the fishing spool. “Reckon they’ll make it?”

  Baz looked down at the spool and shook his head. “I wouldn’t wanna try it. There’s only about half a tank of petrol. And you can’t see a thing out there.”

  Another spell of silence as everybody thought about that.

  “Tough, man.” Jubo wasn’t sympathetic. “Better they don’t make it. People know the preacher gone an’ they all be comin’ over. We don’t be here on our own too long then.”

  “Here on our own...”

  “Wow.”

  “My God.” Amit looked around in wonder. “We’ve done it! We’ve really actually done it...”

  And at last it began to sink in. No Preacher John, no Isaac, no divers, no capos... the island was theirs. Amit drew back his arm and hurled the final stone far out into the sea. Bright droplets rose from the surface, sparkled briefly against the light and disappeared into a spreading ring of white foam. Clear water. Clear, clean water...

  “Wow. Look at that.”

  “But what are we gonna do?”

  “Yeah, where do we start? Come on. No good just standing around here.”

  “We gotta celebrate. Gotta celebrate...”

  A wild energy was starting to build, a head of pressure that had to be released.
/>   “First t’ing I gonna do is eat,” said Jubo. “Me got the rumbles, man.”

  “Yeah – a feast!”

  “Feast! Feast!”

  “Feast... feast... feast...”

  The chant was taken up, and the boys exploded into life, leaping, jumping, punching the air, kicking at the gravel with their feet as they danced down the jetty.

  “Hot chicken curry!”

  “Tuna fish and rice!”

  “Spaghetti and meatballs!”

  “Yay! Come on, Baz! Come on, girls – feast! Woo-hooo!”

  Away they went, a twirling, skipping crowd, leaving Baz to follow at his own pace. Maybe he’d seen too much today, knew too much of what it was like out there on that empty sea. He’d witnessed death and devastation, and had come horribly close to being lost for good. There would be nightmares, he knew, and they would surely haunt him forever. He didn’t feel up to joining in with the mad celebrations.

  “Baz?” Nadine caught up with him, touching his arm, gently holding him back. And then Steffie and Ray were there as well. None of them were looking particularly jubilant, considering their brilliant success in dealing with the capos. In fact Ray looked scared if anything.

  “What?” said Baz. He knew something was coming, and he had the sinking feeling that he wasn’t going to like it.

  “Listen...” Nadine’s beautiful eyes were troubled, serious. “You need to talk to Ray. I mean, the two of you are friends... you have to...”

  “Yeah, look, Baz,” said Steffie. “Me and Nadine are gonna go on ahead. But you just stay here for a minute and talk to Ray, yeah?”

  “OK.” Baz shrugged. He didn’t know what it was he was supposed to talk about.

  “And you...” Steffie turned towards Ray. “Don’t bottle it, OK? How do you think he’s gonna feel if he hears it from someone else? Yeah? All right?”

  Ray nodded. “Yeah.”

  “Right, then.” Steffie pushed her hair back behind one ear and smiled. “Come on, Nad.”

  The two of them walked away. They were scruffier now than when they’d first arrived, clothes a little grubbier, hair not quite so neat. But they still had an elegance about them, a way of moving that was quite different to the gaggle of boys now disappearing up the pathway to the school.

  “So... what?” Baz turned to face Ray. “What is it? You were great today, by the way. I didn’t... I didn’t get to say that yet. But you were just amazing, all three of you.”

  All three of you...

  “You know them, don’t you?” he said. “I mean, Nadine. And... and Steffie. You know them from before somewhere.”

  Ray looked at him, big dark eyes so solemn and worried looking. He lifted a slim hand and tucked his hair behind one ear, shook it back. A graceful movement.

  “Yeah,” he said. “We were at school together. Here. At Tab Hill.”

  “Here? You can’t have been. This was a—”

  And then Baz saw it. At last he realized. At last he understood. And it was a thing so shocking that the whole world seemed to tilt around him. The stones beneath his feet were soft as marshmallows, sinking at his heels so that he had to tip forward to keep his balance.

  “Jesus... Jesus. I can’t... can’t believe it.” He stared back at Ray, and saw every feature as if for the first time. So plain and so obvious now. “You’re a bloody girl, aren’t you? You’re a bloody girl!”

  Ray blinked, taken by surprise perhaps at not having to spell it out after all. “That’s right, Baz. I’m a bloody girl.” The tiniest trace of a smile, there and gone. “I’m a bloody girl.”

  “Oh my God...” Baz put a hand to his forehead, feeling as though his brain were about to leap out. “Oh my God... you were... all along, you were...”

  It began to make sense. The way Ray was always up first every morning, the first to use the jakes, the shower... always so private. How it was Ray who had instinctively understood the needs of the other girls when they arrived, sorted out their washroom stuff. The other girls...

  “They didn’t know I was here, though. Nad and Steffie. And I didn’t expect them to be turning up. I told them not to say anything. Not to tell.”

  Baz remembered the look of shock on Steffie’s face when she’d first seen Ray. Helping with the bags in the corridor.

  “So they knew you as... like... somebody else. How did they get used to calling you Ray?”

  “They’ve always called me that. It’s spelled R-A-E, though. Rae. Short for Rachel.”

  A fresh wave of shock and bewilderment washed over Baz. He was never going to be able to get this into his head. R-A-E. Rae.

  “Baz? Listen, it’s still OK, isn’t it? We’re still OK?”

  Ray... Rachel... put a hand out as if to touch him, but Baz couldn’t let that happen. He backed away, his own hands raised in defense.

  “Whoa. Whoa. This is too weird. I can’t just... I mean, I feel...”

  Stupid, was what he felt. And angry. Everything had been turned around, tipped upside down and inside out. A trick. A joke.

  He began to walk away, furious that he’d been so exposed, so taken in.

  “Baz, please! Please don’t...”

  Ray caught up with him – this new Ray, this stranger. Rachel. She grabbed at his arm. She...

  “I had to do it! I had to!”

  “What d’you mean, had to? Had to make me look an idiot?”

  “Me and Mum – we were desperate. Mum was sick for nearly a month. She couldn’t... couldn’t work. No food. We didn’t have any way to live. I knew Mum’d be better off without me around. So we tried this. I made her let me. But they would only take boys, and so this was the only way I could get here – if I was a boy. So I cut my hair short, scruffed myself up a bit. Mum reckoned I’d be found out straight away, but I said it had to be worth a go. The worst that could happen was I’d be sent back. We didn’t know it’d be so dangerous here... Baz, please! Please stop a minute. I don’t want to walk in there with the others around. You’ve got to let me try and say how it was.”

  “I don’t care, OK?” Baz came to a halt. “I don’t care why you had to come here, or pretend you were a boy... or whatever. But you could have told me. You didn’t have to let me go on thinking’ – Baz struggled with the words – ‘go on thinking that...”

  Go on thinking what? He didn’t know. “You should have told me, that’s all.”

  “I wanted to. I really wanted to. But how could I? I didn’t know what you’d do, or what you’d say. If anyone found out – and they would have found out – what would’ve happened to me then?”

  She was holding onto his arm, eyes filling with tears. Her hand was shaking.

  A horrible thought came into Baz’s head. “Somebody did find out, didn’t they? The capos. They knew, didn’t they? What did you do last night, when Steiner caught you? What did you do?”

  “Nothing! Nothing!” Rae was really crying now, tears streaming down her face. “I just told them, that’s all. They were gonna put me down the hole. So I told them. Told them I was a girl, told them everything. And they believed me. But then, when they did believe me, they said OK, they wouldn’t put me down the hole, but I had to make them a promise. They made me say that next weekend... next Sunday, I’d prove it to them. They said they’d keep it a secret, but that next Sunday I had to go and have a drink with them. Have some fun, they said. And so I promised...”

  She looked so vulnerable, so unhappy, and Baz wanted to respond somehow. Wanted to reach out to her. Hold her hand. But he couldn’t.

  “Well... I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I’m really sorry. But this is just too weird for me. It’s just too friggin’ weird.”

  They stood there awkwardly, Baz digging at the stones with the heel of his trainer, Rae wiping her eyes with her fingers.

  “What do you want me to do?” she said. “There’s no point in keeping it a secret any longer. No need to. But maybe... maybe I shouldn’t tell everyone right away. Maybe I’ll say nothing for a bit. What do y
ou think?”

  Baz shrugged. What difference did it make? But then, perhaps she was right. He could just picture the looks on their faces – all the other boys – and the uproar it would cause. The digs, the teasing, the stupid remarks.

  “Yeah,” he said. “OK. Maybe say nothing. Look... Rae... just give me chance to get used to the idea, all right? I don’t wanna walk in there now and foreveryone to know, and then have to deal with all that. Not right now. Not after today. Maybe we could just leave it till tomorrow, yeah?”

  “All right. I don’t think I could handle it either.” Rae seemed relieved. “And tonight... well, I’ll just sleep upstairs with Stef and Nad. Nobody’ll notice.”

  “Yeah.”

  They began to walk along the jetty.

  “You still mad at me?”

  Baz sighed. “No, I’m not mad. I’m just wiped out. I’ve friggin’ had it.”

  And this was still too weird, he thought. Ray was a girl. A girl. And her name was Rachel...

  No, he couldn’t cope with that at all.

  “Hey – where’ve you two been? Come on!”

  The celebrations were already under way. Bottles and cans littered the seating area of the slob room, and everyone was sprawled around, eating and drinking and talking all at the same time.

  “It worked. I just can’t believe it really worked. I never thought it would...” Robbie, staring down at the tin of tuna fish in his hand, shaking his head.

  “Yeah. But the sort room – that was the best bit! Ray coming in like that, and Nadine and Steffie. Hey, Ray’ – Amit looked up – ‘what happened? How did you plan that one?”

  “Wasn’t really me.” Ray – Rachel – sat down and grabbed a can of Coke from one of several multi-packs that lay around the floor. “Christ,” she said. “Where did you get this lot from? What did you do? Break into the store?”

  She’d instantly assumed her disguise, become one of the lads again, her husky voice calm and steady, no more tears. Baz just stared at her in wonder. Were all girls such good actors?

  “Yeah. We used Steiner’s keys,” said Amit. “Come on, though – tell us where you’ve been all day, and all about the jam-jar thing, and the petrol.”