Blinded by Fate (The Ugly Roses Book 3)

by Harlow Stone

  I put myself here to protect him, but I rendered him to be what he is now—a broken man crying beside my bed. I try to move, I try to open my eyes, but it doesn’t happen. I let him hold my hand, palm to his cheek as he rests his head on the mattress. I lay silent, listening to his breathing, feeling it on my wrist.

  Time passes.

  I’m not sure how long but it’s darker. My eyelids aren’t as bright so I try again to open my eyes. The first small sliver of light filters through but it’s muted. There is a light on somewhere behind me and the light in what I think is the bathroom is on. Everything’s a little blurry, so I blink again, trying to clear my vision.

  The beige walls are boring, the white curtains and bedding all blur together and I look down, taking in the form of Ryder, his head pointed in my direction. His knuckles are swollen. His right hand is wrapped so I’m assuming it’s worse than the left one. There’s a small bruise on his left cheekbone and a few scrapes, but other than that he’s as handsome as the first day I saw him.

  I look at my hand, still resting on his cheek where he holds it to his face. His stubble has grown almost into a beard now. It looks to be about a week’s worth of growth on his handsome face. I will my fingers to move, watching them, trying to force them into motion. My thumb twitches first, followed by the rest of my fingers. One by one, they move and I lightly caress his face, moving my fingers down his beard, causing his hand to fall limp on the bed.

  The pads of my fingers brush over his lips and black eyes meet mine, beautiful, glowing black eyes with silver around the outside and an unshed layer of moisture waiting to fall down his cheeks. He pulls my fingers tight against his mouth and kisses them. I close my eyes, overcome with emotion, so grateful for the strong man at my bedside.

  “Wake up beautiful, show me those beautiful green eyes; I missed them.”

  Opening my eyes I let the emotion escape, cascading down my cheeks so that we mirror each other. I’ve never seen a grown man cry, and it’s my undoing. I try to reach for him with my left arm and let out a small cry of pain. Strong hands frame my face and he presses his lips to mine.

  “Shhh, beautiful. Don’t move. Your shoulder was reset but you have a small fracture in your humerus bone.”

  I kiss him back, lightly because every part of my face hurts. “I missed you beautiful, fuck did I miss you.”

  “Missed you too. Lay with me Ry.”

  He pulls back a fraction, eyes moving over every part of my face before he responds. “Nothing else is broken, but it might hurt your arm if I move you over. I’ll be careful, okay?”

  I simply nod and he moves his strong arms under me, sliding me gently across the bed. Kicking off his boots he climbs in slowly, putting his arm under my head, turning me toward him.

  Our heads are only a few inches apart at he lays on his side, touching my face, my hair, my arm. All gentle, all Ryder. It’s like he’s reassuring himself I’m here, that I’m okay. I allow him to and only using my eyes I do the same to him. Taking everything in and memorizing every feature.

  “How long have I been out?” I ask, my voice hoarse due to lack of use. He holds a cup to my mouth with a straw and I’m grateful for the cool liquid.

  “Eight days. Longest week of my life, beautiful.”

  I can see it was the longest week, he looks tired, the lack of shaving a sure sign he hasn’t been looking after himself.

  “I’m sorry,” I tell him.

  “What happened to ‘I’m sorry is an admission of guilt?’ You’re not guilty of anything beautiful, I’m just happy you’re awake.”

  Shaking my head, I reply, “but I am guilty. I brought you here Ryder. I made the choice to go out there on my own. I know it was stupid but I can’t say I would do it differently next time. My main concern in all of this was not letting anyone else close to me get hurt, please tell me no one got hurt?”

  Running his hands through my hair, he tells me, “Everyone’s fine, beautiful. Except for Shawn, he’s still…”

  “Oh my God! Shit! Tell me!” I whisper yell after rudely cutting him off.

  “Shawn’s fine. He’s down the hall, his first surgery went well but a day later he started to bleed internally. They got in and fixed it. Now he’s resting up. He won’t talk much to anyone other than the nurses. They said he keeps asking for someone, they don’t know who it is but then he just says ‘the girl who saved my life.’ He wants to speak to you, Elle. Detective Miller tried to talk to him but it didn’t go very far. He’s shy, he’s developmentally challenged, and this place is new to him. Plus he doesn’t know anyone here but he seems to know you, or trust you enough to want to speak to you.”

  I still don’t know who he is, or how he knows me, but I know I need to talk to him. “Can you take me?”

  “Not tonight beautiful, it’s two in the morning and I just got you back. We’ll go first thing in the morning, okay?”

  I nod my head, silently answering him and closing my eyes. They’re too heavy to keep open. I take a deep breath, asking the question I’m not sure I want the answer to. “Braumer?”

  Ryder’s arms come around me, his lips settle in my hair. “He’s gone. Nobody can hurt you anymore, now sleep, beautiful.”

  I relax into his warmth, wanting to fight sleep in favor of more answers, but at the same time feeling safe has never felt so good.

  I forgot what it felt like.

  So I let it all go in Ryder’s arms, and actually sleep without fear for the first time in over a year.

  Chapter Twenty

  “You look much better, Ms. O’Connor. I’m going to book you for one last CT scan to make sure there’s no more swelling or any other concerns in your brain. But if all goes well, which I think it will, you can go home.”

  Home.

  “Thank you, Dr. Maxwell,” I say, nodding absently because I get to go home. I know that’s not here, I also don’t know if that’s possible after the judge ordered me to stay close. I don’t know anything that’s happened regarding Andrew’s death, or me killing him.

  I know nothing and I haven’t asked because I haven’t had time. As soon as my eyes were open this morning the doctor was here, and now I watch as he goes out the door, prepared to ask Ryder a million questions but wanting to see Shawn more. He might be the answer to a lot of my questions.

  “I’m ready, Ryder. Take me to see Shawn, please?”

  “Do you want to wait to see the nurse?” he asks.

  I shake my head, ignoring the pounding. “No, I want to go now.”

  Placing a hand on my arm he says, “Elle, you have a catheter in and it’s attached to the bed. Not sure I can take that out for you, beautiful. So either you wait, or I wheel you down there in the bed.”

  I waste no time answering, nor do I think about being embarrassed. “Bed, just get me there Ryder, I need to see him.”

  Denny chooses this moment to walk in. “See who?” he asks.

  “Shawn,” both Ryder and I answer at the same time.

  Denny sets a box of pastries down on the table along with a tray of coffee before placing a light kiss on my head. Jesus I love him. Looking over my face with sad eyes he says, “Nurse had him up and walking, and he talked to me a bit yesterday. I’ll see if I can get him down here.”

  I give him a weak smile. “Thank you Denny, for everything. But if you’re not back here in five I’m coming down there.” He knows I’m not joking, I also know he won’t let me down.

  Four minutes later, a bright eyed Shawn is wheeled into my room. He looks better than he did in the basement. His dirty clothes are gone, and he looks freshly showered. His arm is in a sling and I see bandages through the top of his hospital gown. I thought he looked like a younger Andrew, but he looks nothing at all like him because his eyes are so happy. Like a child opening up a present on Christmas day. He radiates light and all things good in this world.

  “Gina!” he says with a huge smile on his face. I feel the fog, and then the clarity as what he called me sets in.
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  “Oh my god,” I whisper.

  Ryder grabs my hand. “What’s wrong, Elle?”

  I look at him briefly through watery eyes, and back again at Shawn.

  Shawn?

  “Gina, it’s me! It’s Matty! I’m so glad you’re okay, Gina!”

  I shake my head, my recently swollen brain overcome with a million memories.

  “Counselling on Campus, this is Gina speaking. How may I help you today?”

  “Hi Gina. It’s Matty again. I asked for you specifically, I hope that’s okay?”

  Ah, Matthew. He’s one of the sweeter ones that call. The guy sort of reminds me of the slightly dorky kid in school that gets a bad rap, but he’s actually incredibly sweet and very intelligent.

  “Oh my god. Fuck!” I blink toward the ceiling, willing the tears at bay.

  “Talk to me Elle, what the fuck is going on?” Ryder grates out as he exchanges a look with Denny.

  “Bad words!” Matty shouts.

  I look to the innocent, developmentally challenged man in the wheelchair. Swallowing the lump in my throat I say, “Matty. You used to call me a lot at Counselling on Campus?”

  A bright smile takes over his face. “Yup! That was me Gina! I knew you’d remember me! Andrew said you would never remember me but I knew you would!”

  I close my eyes at the mention of my nightmare’s name. Ryder puts his hand to my back, rubbing small circles and I’m sure he’s completely confused as to what we are talking about.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Matty. I have a few questions I’d like to ask you, is that okay?”

  He nods his head. “I’m just happy you’re okay, Gina. I’m so sorry for what Andrew and his Dad did. I tried to stop him Gina, I really tried but he was too heavy! I tried to stop him I promise!”

  I put out my hands, motioning for him to calm down. “It’s okay Matty. I know you tried. It’s okay.”

  Unshed tears linger in his eyes, but he shakes his head.

  “Matty, do you know what happened to me before? What happened to your brother?”

  His happy face is gone and a few tears fall down his cheeks. “Andrew said we needed to protect you. You were my friend first but he said I had to help him take pictures so we knew that you’d be safe, Gina. He said someone wanted to hurt you and I didn’t want anyone to hurt you ‘cause you were so nice. People weren’t always nice to me but you were always nice, Gina.”

  He sniffles a little so I reassure him. “It’s okay Matty, you can tell me. I’m not mad at you, okay?”

  Sweet, brown eyes meet mine and he continues. “Andrew always called you Jayne, and said that the name you used at counselling on campus was a fake name. Is that true, Gina?”

  “It is true, Matty.”

  “Can I still call you Gina?”

  I nod my head. “You sure can buddy.” This earns me a small smile.

  “I like Matty, all my friends call me Matty.”

  I nod my head. “Matty it is.”

  Shawn Matthew Flynn

  I watch the shadows come back over his face as he speaks. “Andrew wasn’t so nice to me Gina. He told me I had to help him get you, so we could protect you from the bad people. But after I helped him he put me in a room and told me I couldn’t come out because then the bad people would find me too. He told me I had to be really quiet. But I heard you scream and I knew the bad man found you so I came out of my room but it was Andrew being a bad man, and he was dragging your little girl’s dad down the stairs. He told me he was helping him but I knew he wasn’t because he looked so mean, Gina. He told me to run and hide, before anyone else found me too and I ran, Gina.”

  He’s sobbing now, and I reach out and grab his hand, trying to soothe him. He doesn’t fully understand.

  “A-An-Andrew taught me how to drive but I’m not very good. He told me if I got caught I could get in trouble so not to drive in town. But he gave me a driver’s license just in case. So I drove the van so I could get to town and I bought a bus ticket to the cabin. Andrew said it would be our hiding place if the bad man came. So I went there so I could hide but you weren’t okay, I didn’t know but you weren’t okay Gina, and I was scared.”

  I rub the back of his hand. “It’s okay Matty, and it’s not your fault.”

  “But it is, Gina! I should have been braver! Andrew and his dad were the bad man, but they lied! Miss Marion told me lying’s not good and they lied, Gina! Brothers aren’t ‘spose to lie!”

  Not giving two fucks about my catheter or the tubes in my arm I slide to the edge of the bed, ignoring the pain shooting up my arm and embracing the broken young man in front of me. I rock him a little to the side, and back again.

  “It’s okay Matty, we’re both okay.”

  He continues to cry guilty tears into my hospital gown, a broken young boy in a grown man’s body.

  He breaks.

  “I don’t want to help them anymore, Gina,” he sobs. “Andrew’s dad tried to get me to show him how Andrew does computer stuff, but I don’t know all of it and I don’t want to show him. He’s mean Gina, and if I’m not fast enough he gets mad and locks the door on me. Don’t make me go back there. I’m sorry Gina, please don’t make me go back there.”

  Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I respond, “I never make a promise I can’t keep. So I promise you Matty, you will never, ever go back to a bad man ever again. I promise.”

  ***

  “Matty, can I ask you something?”

  After this morning, Ryder had Cabe dive into more tech work. One, being tying all the loose ends together after Matty gave us information, and two being working out what we can do for Matty after he’s out of the hospital.

  It’s now dinner time and Ryder had Denny bring in food for the four of us. We’re eating in a common room down the hall and so far I have learned that Matty loves to cook mac and cheese, he loves animals, and up until this point he has survived pretty much on his own with a little help from Andrew along the way.

  I didn’t remember all of our conversations from when I worked at Counselling on Campus, but Matty said when he told me he got a donation to his scholarship, which was for his studies on working with animals through a special program for developmentally challenged kids, it was from his old foster parent, Marion Downey.

  He said he never got to finish his studies because Andrew persuaded him to enroll in computers instead, ultimately helping Andrew and Braumer in their end goal to make dirty money. But Matty just wanted to help his brother and did whatever he said to do; including putting the dirty company in Matty’s name, and he got to name it—ANIG Tech Solutions, a palindrome of Gina, one of the nicest people he spoke to.

  “We’re friends Gina, you can ask me anything.”

  I smile. “We are friends, Matty. I was just wondering how you’ve lived this past year with Andrew gone. Do you have some help?”

  He shakes his head, eating another mouthful of chicken-fried rice. “Sometimes Mrs. Davenport brings me supper. She lives across the hall.”

  “That’s nice Matty, but I mean do you have a job? Who pays your rent?”

  “I walk dogs four days a week, so that helps my groceries. And I pay the rent now. Five hundred and sixty dollars a month, but sometimes Mr. Wickens makes us pay extra when it’s cold outside because he says we use too much of the heater.”

  “Matty, who’s ‘us’?”

  “Me and Andrew. Andrew helped me get the apartment, but then Andrew left and it’s just me and I don’t have a lot but I know where he hides the money because I saw him do it when he thought I was asleep on the couch. So I just use it to pay the rent and stuff,” he says, shrugging.

  “I thought the house I was in was Andrew’s house, Matty?”

  He nods. “Yup, it was. And the cabin, and the apartment. Andrew said he liked lots of places to sleep. But he told me not to tell his dad about the apartment and the cabin because it was a secret.”

  I look to Ryder and he nods his head toward Matty. I know what he wan
ts so I ask, “Matty, are you allowed to tell me where your apartment is?”

  “Will you come and visit me?” he asks.

  I nod with a smile. “I would love to come and visit you, Matty.”

  He smiles back. “I live at five-three-two West Palmer Street, Unit 3-B.”

  I frown. “That’s not a very good area Matty, maybe when we get out of here I could find you a new place to stay? Maybe somewhere where the people are nicer?”

  His ears perk up. “Maybe somewhere with pets? Can I get a dog? I’ve always wanted a dog but Mr. Wickens won’t let us have pets.”