Played by Him

by M. S. Parker

  “Everything’s looking good,” the nurse said, drawing my attention back to her. “Barring any changes, you should be cleared to be discharged in the morning. The doctor will have to double-check everything and sign off on it, but it should all be routine.”

  “That’s good news,” I said with a distracted smile.

  I was glad for the news, but I couldn’t deny the lump in my stomach when I thought about leaving. Jalen had been great with all this, but I’d suddenly realized that he’d proven before that he was great in these sorts of situations. He’d been wonderful when Adare had been in the hospital and even after she died. Great when he’d shown up in Indiana during my father’s trial. When he got to play the white knight, he excelled. It was the every day that seemed to throw him.

  I supposed we’d see how things went later today when it was time for me to leave. With that thought on my mind, I tried to fall back asleep, knowing that nothing I did would make things more restful for me. I wouldn’t really get to do that until I was back in my own bed.

  “I think you should come home with me,” Jalen announced as we waited for the doctor to sign off on my discharge paperwork.

  “Why’s that?” I asked as I fidgeted with the hem of the shirt I was wearing.

  Jalen had run out first thing this morning and bought clothes for me to wear home. Since he’d only gone to the dollar store one block over, he’d chosen for practicality rather than fashion, and they would’ve been great if I’d been able to put them on after a shower. Yet another reason why I couldn’t wait to get out of here.

  “Even if the mugging was random, the thief has your driver’s license, which means he knows where you live.”

  Shit. I hadn’t even thought about that. I canceled my credit cards yesterday – thankfully, I’d had my phone in my pants pocket rather than my purse when I’d been attacked – but I hadn’t thought about the information my driver’s license would give him.

  “Then there’s your father,” Jalen continued. “We both know Clay wouldn’t want you being alone until your dad’s found.”

  He had another good point.

  Dammit.

  “What Clay doesn’t know won’t hurt him?” I made it a question.

  Jalen shook his head. “Sorry. On this one, Clay and I see eye-to-eye. My house has a top-grade security system. You’ll be safe with me.”

  Physically, yes, I’d be safe. I wasn’t so sure about how my heart would come out of this. Still, the thought of going home now that I was aware of the danger that could be waiting, my options were limited.

  “All right,” I agreed. “We’ll go to your house for now, and I’ll figure out where to go from there.”

  He didn’t look thrilled at the mention of me finding somewhere else to stay, but he didn’t try to talk me into anything else. I knew he’d probably bring it up at another time, but that was a worry for later.

  Less than ninety minutes later, we were pulling up to his house. It had started snowing at some point in time this morning, thick, wet flakes that stuck to everything, including the roads. If it kept up like this, I’d have the chance to see just how good the snow tires on my car worked. I hadn’t driven much in snow despite the fact that I’d lived up north most of my life. Obviously, I’d been too young in Indiana, and since I’d lived my teenage years in New York City, I hadn’t even gotten my license until I graduated.

  “Careful,” Jalen said as he opened my door and held out a hand. “The garage is heated most of the time, but the heating system for it went on the fritz a couple days ago, and I’m waiting for someone to come out and fix it.”

  I wondered if he knew how much it said about his character that he was willing to wait for a repairman rather than offering to pay for preferential treatment.

  I took his hand, a little thrill of electricity going through me as our skin made contact. My joints were stiff, and the places where bruises had bloomed ached as I let him help me from the car. The thing about having a serrated kitchen knife dragged through your flesh, other pain is mild by comparison. Still, it didn’t stop me from grimacing as Jalen led me into the house.

  “Are you hungry?” he asked as we paused in the kitchen.

  I shook my head. “I’d really like a shower and clean clothes. How long do you think I should stay here?”

  “Until Clay says you’re safe.”

  I scowled at him. “The two of you ganging up on me isn’t fair.”

  One corner of Jalen’s mouth tipped up in a partial smile. “Yes, well, protecting you is one thing we can agree on.”

  “So I’m just supposed to wait who knows how long to clean up?”

  “No,” he said, moving me forward again. “You’re supposed to accept my offer of the use of my home. I have a guest bedroom and bathroom where you can clean up and rest.”

  “And my clothes? I don’t think you have any of those lying around.”

  He ignored my sarcasm and answered my question seriously. “My clothes will work just fine. They’ll be big, but it’s not like you’ll be going much of anywhere. Clay’s supposed to check in tomorrow. I’ll ask him then if it’s safe for me to take you back to your place so you can get a few things.”

  “Fine,” I said, too tired to argue.

  It wasn’t as much a physical tired as it was an emotional one. I planned on taking as long as possible in the shower so I could finally have a break from Jalen. I appreciated everything he’d done for me, but without any time alone, I hadn’t been able to really think about all the things he’d said to me.

  When I stepped under the spray, I sighed with relief. The heat felt good against my sore muscles, and the sound chased away the chaotic thoughts I hadn’t been able to banish. I stood there for what seemed like hours before I even started washing up, just letting my mind go blank. By the time I reached for the shampoo, I was ready to do some serious soul-searching about everything Jalen had said. He deserved an honest answer about whether or not we could get past this.

  He was sitting on the guest room bed when I emerged from the bathroom, a billow of steam accompanying me. I’d changed into the clothes he’d given me, and they were far from revealing, but the fact that I hadn’t had a clean bra or underwear with me meant that beneath the soft cotton t-shirt and cuffed sweatpants, I was naked. I crossed my arms over my chest, hoping he couldn’t tell that my nipples were hard. It was from the temperature difference. Nothing else. Certainly not because of the heat I saw on his face.

  “I was starting to get worried,” he said as he stood. “I thought you might’ve passed out in there and I’d have to rush you back to the hospital.”

  “Just thinking,” I said. “And enjoying being clean again.”

  “Thinking about what?” His tone was casual, but I saw the tension in his body.

  “About how I feel,” I admitted. “About you, about all the things you said, about whether or not I could trust you again.”

  He turned away from me, hiding whatever expression he couldn’t keep off his face. “Make it a clean break,” he said quietly. “That’s all I ask.”

  “It will take a while to build that trust again,” I said, closing the distance between us. I put my hand on his back, and he stiffened. “But what you said made me face something I’ve been struggling with. You’re not just another guy, J. You’re not replaceable.” I took a deep breath and made my own confession. “I love you too.”

  Thirty-Three

  The silence that followed my statement was thick and heavy with all the possibilities that came with my admission. I dropped my hand and whatever paralysis had held him in place snapped. He spun around and took my face between his hands, his expression hot and searching, desperate.

  “Do you mean it?” he asked, his voice low. “It’s okay if you don’t, if you thought you should say it just because I did–”

  I put my fingers on his lips. “I meant it. I mean it. I want to fight for us, see whatever this is between us can become.” I put my hand on his chest and felt the
steady beat of his heart against my palm. “I want this to become something.”

  His mouth came down on mine, softer, gentler than it had ever been before. A hand slid up into my wet hair, tangling in the locks that nearly brushed my shoulders. I waited for the pull, the pain against my scalp, and anticipation pooled in my belly, hot liquid arousal. It didn’t come. His touch remained tender.

  I slid my hands under his shirt, and his muscles jumped under my fingers. I scraped my teeth across his bottom lip, bit it, and he moaned. His grip tightened, just a little, but I could feel it now, all the strength that he was holding back, all the power in that strong, muscular body of his, waiting to be released.

  “I want you.” He breathed the words against my skin as his mouth moved to the side of my mouth, to my jaw. “Damn, Rona, I want you so much.”

  “Then take me.” I tucked my fingers into the waistband of his jeans and pulled him tighter against me. “I’ve missed you.”

  He groaned, his forehead resting against mine. “Do you have any idea how fucking hard it is to resist you?”

  “Then don’t.”

  “I have to,” he insisted, his eyes scanning my features. “You’re hurt.”

  I laughed softly. “I was hurt the first time we had sex, if you remember.”

  “I remember,” he said, his voice low and husky. “I remember how it felt, being inside you that first time. How it was like being…home.”

  I closed my eyes and whispered, “It was like that for me too.”

  His laugh vibrated through me. “You’re really not making this easy for me.”

  “Good.” I slid my hands around to his ass and dug my nails in. “Because I want it to be hard.”

  He leaned back as he laughed again, louder this time. “Seriously? You’re making sex puns?”

  I shrugged and grinned at him. “It seemed appropriate.”

  He wrapped his arms around me, resting his hands at the small of my back. “You should get some sleep.”

  “It’s three o’clock in the afternoon,” I said. “I don’t want to sleep. Do you want to sleep?”

  “I told you what I want,” he said, his expression sobering. “But it doesn’t change the fact that you’re hurt.”

  “It’s too bad,” I said as I took a step back. I smiled up at him as I reached down to grab the bottom of his shirt. “Because that means I’ll just have to lay down on that nice comfy bed and make myself feel better.”

  His eyes went dark, the sort of dark that twisted things inside me. “And how, exactly, are you planning to do that?”

  I wet my bottom lip, even more aware than before of what I wasn’t wearing under his clothes. “Do you want details?” I smiled as I stepped back until my legs bumped against the bed. “Like how I’d take off my shirt and run my hands over my breasts? How I’d play with my nipples until they’re tight and aching. Slide my hand under these sweats and rub my fingers over my clit, feel how wet I am–”

  Everything else I’d planned on saying was cut off when Jalen buried his hands in my hair and his mouth crashed into mine. The hesitation was gone, replaced by the same desperate need I felt clawing at my insides.

  Our clothes hit the floor as we scrambled out of them, forgotten the moment they left our hands. His skin was hot, hands burning paths across my limbs, my torso. I gasped, back arching as his lips wrapped around my nipple.

  “That feels amazing,” I moaned, closing my eyes.

  Every pull of his mouth went straight to my clit, and I writhed under the heavy weight of his body. Skin and muscle, friction and pressure. Our bodies moved against each other, slick and sweet, a dance that we’d known from the first moment we’d come together.

  He worked his way up to my collarbone, sucking and biting as he murmured words, endearments. Some of them I could make out, some I couldn’t, but it didn’t matter. I knew how he felt, I could feel how much he wanted me. His fingers played over my ribcage, then he palmed my hip, my ass, and then pulled my leg up and around his waist.

  He raised his head, his eyes locking with mine. The depth of what I saw there took my breath away, and then he was sliding into me.

  Home.

  He’d chosen the right word when he described what it was like when the two of us came together. It was home. He was home.

  The idea should have terrified me, but as he rocked against me, I couldn’t feel anything but the warmth of the feelings we’d confessed, the pleasure of how our bodies came together.

  “J, J,” I whimpered. “I need more. Harder, please. More.”

  “I’ve got you,” he said. He lowered his head and brushed his lips across mine. “I’ve got you, Rona, and I’m not going to lose you again.”

  I reached up and wrapped my hand around the back of his neck, pulling him down for another kiss. Our tongues tangled together as he sat up, taking me with him. The new position changed the way we fit together, putting new and intense pressure on all sorts of wonderful places. Then his finger slid lower, between my cheeks, and I tore my mouth from his, cursing as he rubbed over that tight ring of muscle.

  “Do you want my finger in there?” he asked as he fisted my hair, pulling my head back. “Will you come if my finger’s in your ass? Will that make you come, baby?”

  My nails raked across his shoulders, hard enough to make him hiss, and his cock swelled even more inside me. His hips jerked upward, driving into me with the exact right amount of force to push me toward climax. Then the tip of his finger breached my ass, and I shattered. He followed a moment later, my name a strangled cry.

  Before the strength returned to my legs, Jalen was up and in the bathroom. He returned with a washcloth and cleaned me up, not enough that I wouldn’t need another shower, but enough that I could relax for a bit.

  Even though I’d felt that things with us were better, different, I was a bit surprised when he climbed back into bed and pulled us both under the covers. He reached out to me, pulling me close. I smiled at the way we still fit together, even when our bodies were no longer joined.

  “Is it just me, or does this feel…right?” Jalen asked as he kissed the top of my head.

  “It does,” I said, running my fingers over the arm around my waist. “We’re still going to have to work at things, you know?”

  “I know.” He paused for a moment, then continued, “Do you remember the blindfold we used before?”

  I looked over my shoulder at him. “Yes?”

  The memory still made me flush.

  His expression was serious as he reached up and ran his thumb across my bottom lip. “I want you to use it on me.”

  He didn’t look away as I stared at him, wondering if I understood him correctly. Being blindfolded required trust, handing over control, and that was what he was offering me. His trust, his control.

  Whatever I might have said was lost as the front door slammed open.

  “Jalen! Where the hell are you?!”

  Thirty-Four

  Of course, Elise would have to come in and ruin everything. I really despised that woman.

  As I scrambled out of bed to grab my discarded clothes, Jalen did the same.

  “Don’t you think it’s time to take away her key?” I asked. The question was serious but didn’t have any bite to it. One look at his face was all the confirmation I needed that he didn’t want Elise here any more than I did.

  “I did,” Jalen said. “She must’ve had another one…or we didn’t lock the door when we came in.”

  I’d barely gotten the pants back on when I heard footsteps on the stairs. I glanced toward the bathroom, wondering if I could hide in there until she was gone, but time wasn’t on my side. Besides, it wasn’t like I’d done anything wrong. The only reason Jalen and Elise weren’t divorced was because she refused to sign the papers. From what I knew of her, I suspected it had less to do with real feelings for Jalen and more to do with the ‘perks’ that came with being married to a handsome, wealthy man.

  “Jalen!”

 
“I’ll be right down!” he shouted back. He shot me a helpless look. “I’m sorry about this.”

  I shook my head and mustered a smile. “It’s not your fault.”

  I meant the words too, but it didn’t mean I wasn’t frustrated. I’d had a rough few days, and now that things were on the mend between us, the idea of hiding here with Jalen for a little while was more appealing than I wanted to admit.

  The door slammed open, and I straightened, refusing to be embarrassed. I had nothing to be ashamed of; neither of us did. It didn’t stop the flush from creeping up my cheeks, but that could be explained as easily by arousal and physical exertion.

  “What are you doing in here?” Elise demanded. Her eyes flicked over to me for the briefest of moments, and then her attention was back on Jalen. “It doesn’t matter. We need to talk.”

  “You can’t keep coming in here like this, Elise,” Jalen said. “When I told you to give back your key, I didn’t mean that you could use another one.”

  “I didn’t have to,” she said, giving him a simpering smile. “The door was unlocked. You should really be more careful. Anyone could let themselves in.”

  Subtle.

  “I’ve already told you that we’re not talking about anything without our lawyers present,” Jalen said. He moved closer to me, angling his body so that he was between Elise and me. “You need to leave and call your attorney. He’ll call mine, and we’ll set up a meeting. If you’re not here about the divorce, then I don’t want to hear it.”

  She crossed her arms and smirked. “Oh, you’ll want to hear what I have to say.” She gestured to me. “But you probably won’t want her to hear it.”

  I stepped up to Jalen’s side and put my hand on his arm. “I’ll leave if he asks me to, but he knows I’m here for him, no matter what you say.”

  She looked at Jalen, an expectant expression on her face. When he didn’t say anything, her mouth twisted into a scowl. “Let’s test that theory.”