Polaris: Book Five of The Stardust Series

by Autumn Reed

  “Yeah, that must be it.”

  In reality, I was wishing I had a fever and could call in sick to work. Of all the days to be back at the office rather than the training center, today would not have been my first choice. I wouldn’t necessarily run into Vanessa, but the possibility was making me cranky.

  “You can have a sip of my coffee, if you’d like,” Knox said, winking at me in the rearview mirror. “That’ll perk you right up.”

  “I’d rather stay blue.”

  Theo patted my leg. “Thankfully, blue looks good on you.”

  Knox snorted. “Do those lines actually work for you?”

  “I don’t know. Why don’t you ask Haley?” Theo looked at me expectantly.

  “They work for Theo,” I said, reaching over to pinch his cheek, “because he’s so adorable.”

  Knox and Chase both laughed and Theo smiled. “Thank you. Now that you mention it, big brother, I’m not sure why she gives you any attention at all. You don’t have my cuteness factor, Chase’s musical talent, Liam’s charm, or Jackson’s smarts. What is it that you have to offer, exactly?”

  I could think of a few things . . . a few unmentionable things.

  “I’m good with my hands,” Knox replied without inflection.

  Theo erupted into laughter, and I buried my face in my hands, certain it was turning as red as my scarf. I couldn’t tell how Chase reacted to Knox’s statement, but I had no intention of releasing my face to find out. Was death by embarrassment actually possible?

  “It’s okay, Haley,” Theo said as he rubbed my shoulder. “I won’t make you confirm or deny Knox’s claim.”

  “Why would she deny it?” Knox asked. “Everyone knows I’m good with a carburetor.”

  “Yeah, ’cuz that’s what you were referring to,” Theo muttered just loud enough for everyone to hear.

  I peeked through my fingers and saw that Chase was shaking with laughter. He didn’t seem bothered by the implication, which was a relief. I kept expecting him to regress into jealous mode, but he genuinely seemed at ease with my other relationships now.

  Finally dropping my hands, I glared at Theo. “I take back what I said about you being adorable.”

  He reached over and tugged on my hair. “You know you love me.”

  That mischievous grin. Those freckles and tattoos. That zest for life. How could I not?

  The rest of the drive passed in companionable silence. I skimmed the reading material for today’s session, wanting to be as prepared as possible. From what Kenneth said during our last class, each of us would be paired with an established team to develop a strategic plan for their next assignment. It wasn’t a simulation, and I would be evaluated by every member of the team on the quality of my input.

  This would be the first true test of my strategy skills, and I was both nervous and excited. If I did well, I could prove to myself and my fellow trainees that I was more than Patrick’s and Team Jaguar’s pet project.

  I said a quick goodbye to the guys before getting off the elevator on the fourth floor, where the conference rooms were located. After a short meeting with Kenneth, he issued our team assignments and sent us on our way. When he told me I’d be working with Team Falcon, I wasn’t sure whether to be more or less anxious. I already knew all of the team members, but Scott, their leader, was notoriously difficult to work with.

  I followed the four other trainees up a flight of stairs and headed toward the Falcon office. Several heads swung my way as I passed, and I tried not to be paranoid by their attention. I was wearing my trainee uniform, after all. Why wouldn’t they be curious?

  I knocked on the closed door, and Tyler opened it with a smile. “Hi, Haley. Come on in.”

  In addition to five separate desks, a high-top table sat in the corner of the room. Kara was already seated and waved for me to join her. As soon as I took the chair next to her, she leaned in and spoke softly. “Have you heard yet?”

  “Heard what?”

  She bit her bottom lip before smiling. “Nothing. We’ll talk afterward.”

  Her change in demeanor didn’t fool me. She was worried about something, and I had a sinking feeling that something was related to me.

  I forced myself to push my concerns aside as the rest of the team joined us at the table. Logan and Tyler were both friendly, as usual, while Scott was clearly ready to get down to business. Hunter, the only member of the team I’d barely had any interactions with, smiled shyly before ruffling his messy brown hair and adjusting his glasses, reminding me of Barry Allen from The Flash.

  Without preamble, Scott jumped into a rundown of the assignment—they were to provide security for a small, secret celebrity wedding. I’d never heard of the actress and her musician fiancé, but the couple was apparently famous enough to require security on their special day.

  The event was being held at a private, beachside home, so the logistics were different than what my training had mostly focused on. Thankfully, I was able to quickly assess the situation and point out a few issues that Team Falcon hadn’t addressed yet.

  A low-lying fence along the rear of the property provided a physical barrier but wouldn’t do much to keep out drones. And with the paparazzi becoming increasingly creative in their attempts to capture celebrities, it was something that warranted consideration.

  Then, there was the matter of the newlyweds’ exit. They wanted to be photographed driving away in a vintage Rolls Royce, but it would attract too much notice once they’d left the gated community. So, I suggested that their security detail and personal assistants park down the block in a nondescript SUV. The bride and groom could have their photos, then transfer to the other car, swapping places with their personal assistants. Any paparazzi posted outside the gates would be so focused on the chauffeured Rolls Royce and its passengers, that the celebrities could slip past in the SUV unnoticed.

  By the time the meeting was finished, I was ready for lunch, and Kara swiftly led me out of the office and down to the café on the first floor of the building.

  “What’s going on?” I finally asked when we were seated with our food.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to eat first?”

  I glanced at my sandwich and had a feeling I wouldn’t be able to do more than pick at it even before she spilled what was undoubtedly bad news. Pushing it away, I took a deep breath. “I’d rather get this over with. Is it about Vanessa?”

  Kara’s eyes widened. “Vanessa, of course! She’s always wanted Liam for herself.”

  “What did you hear?” I asked, even though I already knew what she would say.

  Her expression was apologetic. “There’s a rumor going around that you’re cheating on Liam with Knox. I overheard two women from accounting talking about it in the restroom first thing this morning.”

  I shook my head. “Damn, that was fast. Vanessa just saw us together yesterday.” I explained how she approached me at the zoo, then hung my head. “I knew she was too friendly to be genuine.”

  “Haley, I’m sorry. She’s such a bitch.”

  “It’s not really her fault.” It was mine. I should have been more careful in public. I should have . . . I didn’t even know. “Things were going so well. Too well. I should have known something like this would happen.”

  “Maybe it’s for the best,” Kara offered. “You can come clean about your relationship with the team and not have to worry about trying to hide it.”

  “Easy for you to say,” I retorted bitterly. “You’re not the one who will be labeled a slut.” Suddenly overwhelmed, I stood and grabbed my purse, hoping I wouldn’t hyperventilate in the next sixty seconds. “I have to get out of here.”

  “Haley, wait.” Kara placed her hand on my arm. “Don’t be mad. I was only trying to help.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I have to go.”

  I headed straight for the parking garage until I remembered I’d ridden with the guys. Of all the days to be without the Jeep. Damn it.
r />   I took a few minutes to stew in the parking garage, pacing the ground as if it would give me a solution. Or maybe just hoping it would open up and swallow me whole. When it didn’t, I finally forced myself to be an adult and finish my work day.

  After retrieving my backpack from the Falcon office, I was headed back to the conference room from this morning when Chase intercepted me, tugging me into the empty Jaguar office.

  “What are you doing?” The last thing I needed was to be spotted with yet another one of the guys, especially today.

  He removed the backpack from my shoulder and pulled me into a hug. “Are you okay? I just heard about the rumors.”

  As much as I wanted to let him comfort me, I was too on edge. I couldn’t handle it, so I pushed him away. “No, I’m not okay, and I shouldn’t be in here. We’ll only start more rumors.”

  I picked up my bag and reached for the door handle, but Chase placed his hand over mine, stopping me. “Wait, let’s talk about this.”

  “No, Chase. There’s nothing to say.”

  The hurt in his eyes cut deep, but I didn’t have it in me to fix things. I needed to get away. “Just let me go,” I pleaded.

  Stepping back, he nodded, and I left without another word. As I closed the door behind me, Vanessa and another girl from her team walked by. The smirk on Vanessa’s pretty face let me know she was more than pleased by my current state of distress. Come dinner, all of Zenith would probably have heard that I’d been having an orgy with Team Jaguar in their office.

  Wrapping my arms protectively around my waist, I headed to the stairwell. This was exactly what I’d been afraid of. Not only was I in danger of destroying my own reputation, the reputations of everyone on the team were in peril. The guys had worked so hard to be the best at what they did, how could I risk damaging that?

  For the first time since Knox spoke those magic words to me, I regretted the fact that the guys didn’t want me to choose between them. Had I not been so greedy, so short-sighted, we would’ve never been in this position. I should have been stronger. I should have known better than to think I could have them all.

  13

  Sparring

  Haley

  “Haley?”

  Knox’s voice through my bedroom door was typically welcome. Not today.

  “Are you coming out for dinner? We ordered Chinese food.”

  “I’m not hungry,” I called out.

  The doorknob rattled, and I heard his grunt when he discovered it locked. “At least open up and talk to me.”

  I set my sketchbook aside and leaned against the wall so I wouldn’t have to shout. “I’m not really in the mood to talk.”

  A thump, probably Knox’s fist, landed against the door, making it shutter. “You know I could pick the lock, if I wanted.”

  “Yes, but I’m hoping you’ll choose to respect my request for privacy, instead.”

  “Haley.” My name came out strangled, and I hated that I was hurting him, but I was frozen inside myself. What was there to say? Why bother talking about something that didn’t have a right answer?

  “I just need time.”

  “Time for what? To push us away?”

  He hit the nail on the head, but I wasn’t about to admit it. The only thing I could seem to do right then was burrow deeper inside myself and push everyone else out. I knew I was being unreasonable and harsh, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself.

  Needing to assuage some of my guilt, I offered, “What if I agree to watch an episode of Arrow later?”

  “Fine, but if you’re not out here by nine o’clock, I’m coming in there after you.”

  “Caveman,” I retorted, though I couldn’t resist a small grin at his irritated tone.

  I returned to my bed and picked up my laptop, more determined than ever to focus on my training. How to move forward with my relationships wasn’t something that could be solved in a day or even a week. What I’d said to Knox was true—I needed time. Time to reevaluate. Time to develop a plan. Time to come to terms with the possibility of losing them.

  In the meantime, I would become the best damn trainee Zenith had ever seen. Not only was I ahead in my regular coursework, I’d more than doubled my commitment to my Spanish immersion program. It was entirely possible that I’d chatted with my coach, Alejandra, more than all of the guys combined over the last few days. Sadly, she was the sole person in my life who wasn’t waiting for me to fall apart. Or assuming I already had.

  As if on cue, I received a text message from Kara.

  Kara: Movie tomorrow night?

  My fingers hesitated over the keyboard. I knew she was trying to help, but I really wasn’t in the mood.

  Kara: No talking required. We can skip dinner and stuff ourselves with candy and popcorn.

  Me: Maybe.

  Kara: Not good enough. You can’t spend your Friday night locked in your bedroom.

  My eyes scanned the room for hidden cameras, though it was more likely she’d been keeping tabs on me through Theo. Not that I could blame her after the way I walked out on her at lunch on Monday.

  Me: Okay. I’m holding you to the no talking thing.

  Kara: Deal.

  At eight-fifty, I closed my laptop and snuck into the kitchen. My stomach was audibly growling, so I needed food before we started the show. Wanting to avoid remarks about my choice to skip dinner, I quietly removed a loaf of bread and peanut butter from the pantry and made myself a sandwich.

  A few gigantic bites later, I was almost finished when tattooed arms slipped around my waist from behind. Sighing, I took my time finishing the sandwich and gulped down almost an entire bottle of water before turning around.

  “Can I help you with something?”

  Theo’s expression was stoic. Not a good sign. I attempted to retreat, but my back hit the counter. I was trapped.

  “You skipped dinner. Again.”

  I thought about giving him my “I wasn’t hungry” excuse, but I figured it wouldn’t fly since he’d caught me scarfing down a hasty meal. “Yeah, I did.”

  “You’re avoiding me.”

  “How can you say that? I’m literally in your arms as we speak.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Not by choice. What’s going on, cupcake? You’re supposed to come to me with your problems. Not run away.” He moved in so close, I could feel the heat of his body tickling my skin.

  In that moment, I felt like two separate people. One Haley needed Theo to pick her up and set her on the counter. She would wrap her legs around his waist and pull him into a scorching kiss. His muscles would flex under her touch, and her fingers would sink into his back.

  The other Haley needed something else entirely. She felt suffocated. Confused. Irrational.

  I pushed against his chest, stepping out from his orbit. Finally able to breathe again, I found myself lashing out. “Does no one in my life understand the concept of space? I said I needed time. Let me have it.”

  Not caring about my promise to Knox, I ran back to my room, closing and locking the door before collapsing against it. I’d never felt so out of control. Even when my house burned down and I was thrust into a new and strange world, I’d remained strangely calm and logical.

  This was different. I couldn’t seem to wade through all the doubt and self-recrimination enough to assess my options. And I felt foolish for believing, if only for a short time, that continuing a relationship with five men was a feasible solution to an impossible problem. For one brief moment, I longed for my life back in Portland.

  It was simple.

  Uncomplicated.

  And so incredibly lonely.

  No, I wouldn’t let myself go there. Running away again was not a viable choice. I was stronger and more determined now. Even if I couldn’t see it yet, the right path would reveal itself to me. It had to.

  Through the door, I heard raised voices drifting down the hall, then what could have only been Knox’s bedroom door slammed shut. I cringed at the finality of that sound. If I kept pushi
ng him, and the others, away, would they eventually slam the door on our future together?

  Maybe it would be easier that way.

  Chase

  The sound of yelling followed by a door slamming interrupted what had been a fairly productive study session. My first instinct was to ignore it. I had no desire to get in the middle of a Bennett brother fight. Then again, I’d been living with them for almost six months, and I’d rarely heard them argue. They were typically the bickering type, not the yelling type.

  That, combined with the overwhelming tension in the loft over the last few days, was enough to make me set my books aside and go downstairs to investigate.

  I found Theo in the kitchen, looking uncommonly defeated. “What’s going on?”

  He shrugged. “Haley’s pulling away. Knox is pissed. What else is there to say?”

  I glanced toward Haley’s closed door. “Should I try to talk to her?”

  He shook his head. “I tried that already. She told me she needed space, then ran off.” His head dropped as he leaned against counter.

  “I’m sorry.” Although I wasn’t exactly happy about Haley’s recent disappearing act, Theo was the most sensitive about it. He couldn’t stand the idea of her shutting him out. It probably had something to do with his crappy childhood, but I’d never asked. We were guys—we didn’t talk about that stuff.

  “Whatever.” He started pacing, which discounted his statement. He was obviously upset, and I had no idea what to do about it. “I can’t be here right now. Want to go for a drive?”

  My thoughts strayed to my test tomorrow, but I shut them down. Theo needed me. “Sure.”

  He went straight for the Mustang, and as he peeled out of the garage, I wondered if I should have convinced him to hand over the keys.

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  He shifted gears with barely restrained violence and laughed. “What’s the point? Haley’s going to do whatever the Hades she wants, and we have no control over it.”