Faithful Service, Silent Hearts

by Lynette Mae

  "Have a seat." Jillian hesitated. Something about this meeting was definitely all bad, but having no other choice, she complied. "Chief Martin will be along a bit later, but I thought we might as well go ahead." The feral smile he directed at her sent a cold trickle of sweat down Jillian's spine.

  "So, let's get started, shall we?" Jillian stared silently. Her mind worked furiously, fed by a racing pulse and jangling nerves. She hadn't been able to talk to Julie. Ever since she and Devon got back three days before it seemed as if Julie had just vanished. Jillian knew that couldn't be good because Julie would have said something if she was being transferred. No, something wasn't right. They had her, and now from the looks of her surroundings, they had Jillian too.

  For the next three hours, Martin barked questions, demanded answers and spat lies at the lieutenant. Every so often, he would threaten to throw her in the stockade, convene a courts martial trial, and have her imprisoned if she continued resisting his investigation. Jillian repeatedly told him that she couldn't give him answers she didn't know. On and on the questioning went in a seemingly endless loop until the door behind her opened unexpectedly and Martin entered the room. After glancing at Jillian, he cocked his head toward the door, and the two investigators left the room for a few minutes.

  Jillian leaned forward to prop her elbows on her knees and hold her head in her hands. Her predicament seemed hopeless. This guy was determined to charge her with whatever he could. She wondered about the affidavit he kept referring to. Who had they questioned? Julie? That seemed likely based upon all of the information Honeycutt seemed to have. Who else knew as much about her? Devon did, but she would have told Jillian in the last couple of days. Wouldn't she? Damn, I'm tired. He's got me really thinking crazy thoughts.

  Investigator Martin took the chair at the end of the table when the two men returned. Jillian sensed tension between the two men. Honeycutt pulled a chair next to the straight backed metal one that she was seated in. The scent of his cheap cologne mixed with sweat hung around him in the air, making Jillian's stomach roll. He deliberately pulled a folder from his briefcase and leaned toward her until their faces were inches apart. Jillian struggled to keep her face neutral.

  "To hear others tell it, you're quite the lady killer, is that right? I have a signed affidavit from one of your former girlfriends telling how you seduced her." His icy cold voice made Jillian shiver. "In fact, she says you are somewhat of a playgirl, quite a few conquests, I hear."

  Jillian clenched her fists and forced herself to return the stare, but did not answer. What did you do to Jules, you piece of shit? Honeycutt could see her jaw clenching as she glared back at him.

  "Oh, am I getting to the heart of things?" An evil grin spread across his face for a second, then vanished again. He reached for an envelope in the folder with a pudgy hand and extracted photos, sliding them across the table in front of Jillian. "Recognize the woman in these photographs with you?"

  Reluctantly, Jillian dropped her eyes to look at the photos in front of her. The images were of her and Devon standing in what appeared to be the window of their room, wrapped in each other's arms and in one sharing a kiss. Honeycutt sneered at her now, "Why I believe that might be Lieutenant James," his tone was mocking, threatening.

  Nearly four hours of relentless badgering had her emotions on the brink of collapse. The visual evidence of Honeycutt's complete agenda shattered her tattered control. Rage overtaking her, Jillian launched out of the chair toward the shocked investigator.

  "YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!"

  In the next second she had a fistful of his lapels. Honeycutt scrambled backward, knocking his chair over and losing his balance. Jillian released her grip and he fell to the floor.

  She stood over him, fists clenched, "SHE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

  Martin intervened. "That's enough!" Stepping between the two of them, he pushed Jillian away. She was breathing hard and ready to strike the fat man when he stood up again. Martin pushed her back with a hand on her chest.

  Red-faced, Honeycutt straightened his tie, hissing, "Sit down, Lieutenant."

  Martin rounded on him, "I suggest you sit as well, Chief." The command was followed, but Jillian could see Honeycutt seething.

  Martin picked up the chair and stood next to it's arm as she sat, in case she had another outburst. Jillian realized that this had gone terribly wrong and she frantically tried to think of what she could do to fix it. No, I'm done. I probably screwed Devon, too. That realization made her stomach flip. She leaned over with her elbows on her knees and stared at the floor. The investigators watched her silently, knowing that they had broken her. All they needed now was a statement; time was on their side.

  Martin spoke, "Can I get you a coke or coffee, lieutenant?" She shook her head without looking up.

  "What do you want?" Jillian heard herself asking. She was too tired to fight them anymore.

  "We only want you to tell us the truth." Martin's voice was calm. "I can't help if I don't know the truth."

  "Okay," Jillian agreed in a defeated tone, "but I'll only talk to you." Honeycutt sniffed, Martin motioned for him to step out.

  He pulled the other chair in front of Jillian and said softly, "Whenever you're ready."

  Jillian thought about her options and what she could do to keep Devon from getting dragged through the mud. That was the only thing that mattered now, protecting her. She realized that they had tipped their hand in revealing that they had made a deal with Julie by accepting that she was some kind of innocent victim. Fine, so be it. Then she looked at the picture on the table again and noticed that from the angle of the photo, she was the only one you could see clearly. She picked them up to examine them more closely to be sure. Jillian made her decision right then and there. She took a deep breath and began.

  "First, I'd like to say that Lieutenant Marks was right, she didn't initiate any intimate contact between us that was my doing." Sitting upright and meeting Martin's stare she continued, "As far as your partner's mention of Lieutenant James, she is completely innocent. You can't blame her for having the bad luck to be assigned to my room."

  Martin narrowed his eyes, watching her intently. She stared expressionlessly back.

  "Lieutenant," he sighed heavily, "you are saying that you made unwanted sexual advances towards both women?"

  "No. I'm saying that Lt. Marks did not initiate contact with me, I approached her. Lieutenant James and I have no relationship other than friends. I will put that in writing." There, it was done. That's the way it would have to stay.

  Martin looked at the stoic young woman apparently prepared to accept whatever fate had in store. He had done the background investigation on her and knew that her family had disowned her, and now, here she was ready to take all of the heat to protect the other two. After 20 years of investigative experience Martin could read people, and he knew that Gray was not some kind of nut preying on innocent women. He knew that these were consensual encounters, and he wasn't going to turn this into something it wasn't. Truth was, he admired her loyalty and her intestinal fortitude. How ironic that she has all of the qualities that make a great officer, and the military doesn't want her.

  "Fair enough, lieutenant." He rose to pull a sheet of paper and a pen and placed them in front of her. "So, for the record, you acknowledge violating the Uniform Code of Military Justice as relating to homosexual conduct, in the case of Lieutenant Marks, correct?"

  "That's correct," Jillian's voice was rough.

  "Ok, let me explain to you what that means." He leaned a hip on the table in front of her. "It means that because you have voluntarily admitted the offense on your own, without an actual complaint-"

  "What do you mean no complaint? I thought that's why I was here."

  "Well, I don't think that Lieutenant Marks or James is going to be filing charges against you, so, I can offer you a general dischar
ge."

  Jillian looked up questioningly, she was certain that the penalty was going to be a court martial and dishonorable discharge, hell, maybe even time in the brig for going after Honeycutt.

  Reading her puzzled expression, the senior investigator smiled, "I tend to reward honesty, not to mention strength of character, lieutenant. You could have made excuses, and wasted my time, or even tried to turn on your friends to save your own skin, but you didn't. I think that should count for something."

  His face was suddenly kind and Jillian was grateful for his compassion. Heaving a shaking breath, she asked, "What about De-Lieutenant James?"

  "That will depend upon her." Walking around the table he carefully sat in the adjoining chair. "Of course, you know she will be interviewed." Jillian winced. Martin leaned forward across the table towards the young woman, "There is no other way at this point."

  Jillian knew that Devon would never go along with this solution. No way would she lie about their relationship, no matter what the threat of punishment was. She was too honest and much too stubborn. Jillian was also certain that Devon would try to stop her from accepting the responsibility for both of them, and her defiance might draw harsher treatment. You got her into this, with your lack of self control, now do something right for a change, Gray.

  "Yes, there is a way, chief. You already have Lieutenant Mark's statement and mine. You have no proof of misconduct by Lieutenant James. I'm telling you there's nothing there. She has only been here a few months, and we're the only people she knows. Lieutenant Marks told you about me, right? If there was more to tell, don't you think she would have?"

  Martin considered what Jillian was saying. She was right, they had the two they were looking at, and the major had spoken up on James' behalf. Why not close the book on this one? God knows they had too many open cases to handle already.

  "Fair enough, lieutenant. I'll have someone come by to get you in the morning to start your separation paperwork. For what it's worth, you did the right thing."

  Jillian stared blankly at Martin and said nothing.

  Walking back to the barracks, alone with her thoughts, the realization of consequences seized control of Jillian with suffocating force. That dangerous part of her that always made her lash out and rebel is precisely what led to this place in her life, and there was no longer any point in trying to deny her own culpability. This was the Army. Regardless of the fact that the rules should be changed, they are the rules and she knew that coming in. So, you either play by them or if you must break them, do it discreetly.

  Her damning inner voice chastised. "Discreet…not exactly in your vocabulary, is it Gray? Playing the field with casual encounters just to suit yourself, racking up the numbers is what got you noticed. Not to mention the hurt, how many broken hearts left in your wake?"

  Finally, there was Devon. Devon stopped her dead in her tracks, captured her heart the instant she laid eyes on her, different in so many ways and so many levels. But she was so young and trusting and Julie was right, Jillian should have known better.

  That's why she had to do the right thing. You're supposed to protect the people you love, at any cost. Better to cause her some pain now and save her greater heartache in the future. Do you love her enough to walk away?

  Chapter 12

  Late that afternoon, Devon was halfway across the quad walking west to the barracks, hoping Jillian was already there with some good news. The past few days had been relatively quiet, although Jillian was worried because nobody had seen Julie. That was eating at Devon, too. She couldn't shake the feeling inside that Julie was being less than truthful with her last week at lunch. But, it was Friday and they had plans for the weekend. Devon smiled at that thought. They needed a break. Two whole days away from their troubles, seemed to be just the ticket. That's what they needed a change of scenery.

  Jillian was graduating in two weeks. Maybe the investigation would fall apart when she got transferred. Jillian was supposed to get her orders today for her permanent duty assignment. Devon was both excited and apprehensive at the prospect of finally knowing next turn their lives would take. She looked for Jillian at lunch and was disappointed when she didn't show. Devon assumed that was because she was getting her orders. She had no way of knowing that Jillian had spent the entire day being interrogated.

  Taking the stairs two at a time, Devon hurried down the hall toward their room finding the door open, she heard voices inside that made her insides churn.

  "….and I didn't want to tell them, but I was so scared," as Devon entered the room, she saw Julie sitting next to Jillian on the couch. "When they asked about us in ROTC, I…panicked…they said they knew already, Jill," her voice had a desperate, pleading tone. Jillian's eyes met Devon's and she shook her head slightly indicating that Devon should not approach. Returning her soft gaze to Julie, Jillian said quietly, "It's okay, Jules."

  Devon's eyes darted back and forth around the room, suddenly unable to focus on anything. The panic was creeping into her chest, pulling it tight around her lungs, constricting her breathing.

  Julie continued, "Jill, you know I never wanted to hurt you, it's just…you know…my family…my father is an officer, I come from a military family. I can't hurt them." She put her head in her hands and began to cry.

  Devon's mind raced trying to read into the bits of the conversation she had just heard. Had Julie just admitted to Jill that she had turned her in? Julie is the snitch? I was right, she is saving her own ass, and now she wants absolution from Jillian, unbelievable. Incredibly, Devon saw Jillian gather the brunette in her arms with a comforting embrace.

  The fiery blonde's control snapped, anger overtaking her, "Get the hell out of here!" she heard herself growl in a low, dangerous tone. Jillian closed her eyes and bowed her head in resignation to the scene that was about to unfold. She knew all too well her lover's passionate side, and she also knew that there was no point in trying to stop her. It would be like trying to stop the sunrise. Devon stalked across the room to stand in front of the two women seated on the couch. Julie spun around in a defensive reaction, ready to snap back, but when her green eyes met Devon's she recoiled from the frightening sight of eyes like razor sharp shards of blue glass.

  "Get out," Devon repeated in a deadly tone, "First you turn Jillian in to CID, then you lie to me, now you have the nerve to come here and beg forgiveness?" Julie opened her mouth to speak, but had no words in the face of Devon's withering stare. Devon was right, she had tried to sugar coat it, explain herself to Jillian in a way that made it better, but Devon had a way of cutting right to the bone.

  "Hear me," Devon's voice was eerily calm, "If you ever come near Jillian again, I will hurt you." Julie dropped her eyes from the icy laser stare and walked to the door. "You are pathetic," Devon seethed as she left.

  Feeling her blood coursing hot through her veins, her head pounding, Devon stomped over to the door, slamming it closed, and then she spun on her heels, needing a target to release this rage. She pounded her fists against the wall locker and heard a primal cry escape her throat. Leaning open palmed on the locker she breathed deeply to regain control, finally dropping her head and pushing her forehead against the door with a low thump, she closed her eyes. At length, she felt hands lightly touch her shoulders then slide down her back and rest on her hips. Devon leaned back into Jillian's body allowing the tension to begin melting away. Jillian bent and nuzzled her neck, softly she spoke, "Nobody has ever defended me like that before."

  Devon turned around to face her love. She smiled tenderly, reaching up to touch her chin, she replied, "I think that's part of what loving someone is about."

  Jillian stared into the bright pools of blue devotion that were her lover's eyes, the purity of the trust made her chest physically ache. That kind of blind devotion would impair Devon's judgment if the investigators questioned her, and Jillian could not
take that chance. She wanted to tell her the truth, but she just couldn't break this beautiful woman's heart, not tonight. Tomorrow they would come, she knew and Jillian would accept her fate, but she would not allow them to harm Devon.

  "I don't deserve you," she whispered, brushing her lips in the thick blonde hair on top of her head.

  The lovers never got to have their weekend together. The following morning, an armed MP escorted Jillian to the CID headquarters for the final time.

  Chapter 13

  Devon woke to bright light and movement in the room. Sliding her arm across the mattress, she felt only the cold sheet beneath her palm. Squinting against the florescent glare, she saw Jillian packing. She cast a look over her shoulder in Devon's direction, "Sorry I woke you."

  A feeling close to panic made Devon's knees falter when she stood and she sank back down onto the bunk. The sight of Jillian dressed in civilian clothes while she stuffed the last of her belongings into a worn leather suitcase was terrifying. "What are you doing?" She didn't even recognize her own voice.