Saved by the Music (Saints & Sinners Book 2)

by Kaithlin Shepherd

  “It’s her story to tell, but don’t underestimate her. If you do, you’ll lose her.”

  They had a lot of things to talk about apparently, and as much as he dreaded having that conversation with her, he knew he couldn’t wait much longer before laying his cards on the table. And having her do the same.

  Chapter Seven

  SAM

  Sam sat at the kitchen table of their tour bus, staring at the woman who was driving him crazy. He smiled at how nice it was to have her in his world, even if it was just for a little while. If it were up to him, he’d be asking Derek to start looking into getting him his own bus so he and Ashlee could have their privacy, but it wasn’t up to him. Life on the road wasn’t for everyone; a lot of people thought they could handle it, but very few could. The glamour of the lifestyle was all smoke and mirrors—it was mostly sitting around watching movies more than anything else—but Ashlee seemed genuinely happy and relaxed on the bus. He’d like to think that was mostly because she was with him, but that would make him a presumptuous asshole, and he wasn’t quite ready to push that door wide open.

  Even in the middle of the chaos that being on the road entailed, they managed to get quite a lot of work done on the charity front. Every day, he grew more and more impressed by how smart the sleepy-eyed woman sitting in front of him was. When he didn’t understand something, she didn’t get annoyed with him; instead, she found other ways to explain it, and God, how he loved that about her. She never grew irritated with him for knowing less than she did, and not once had she made him feel stupid or ignorant.

  She must’ve felt him staring at her because she looked up from her laptop and gave him one of her bright smiles that drove him insane with lust.

  “We’re going to check out the town and grab a bite to eat. You guys wanna come?” The thing about being on a bus with three other guys was that having a moment between the two of them was almost impossible. No matter what time it was or what they were doing, one of the guys always managed to interrupt them.

  “I’ll pass, Tyler, but thank you. I have a lot of work to do.” When they agreed to start their own charity, none of them had expected it would require so much damn work.

  “Ashlee, we don’t pay you to work yourself into the ground.” Sam looked at Tyler, who was just as concerned about how exhausted Ashlee was. She had them as well as other clients, and she wasn’t showing any signs of slowing down.

  She glanced up at Tyler and when she smiled at his friend, he knew they were both going to lose this fight. “I know, and I’m not. There’s just a lot to do.”

  Tyler looked at him as if trying to gauge what he should say next, but to be honest, Sam didn’t know; Ashlee loved to keep him guessing on almost everything. He smiled at her and kissed the top of her head.

  “Fair enough, darling. What about you, dude? Are you staying or going?”

  Sam was pretty sure Tyler already knew the answer to his question—if Ashlee wasn’t going, neither was he. Any chance he had to spend time alone with her, he took it. “I’m staying. I want to work through the details with Ashlee some more.”

  When she glanced up at him and spilled her coffee all over the table, it took every inch of self-control not to laugh his ass off. She looked like a deer caught in headlights, as if she didn’t know what to do or say, and that was the most adorable thing in the world.

  Tyler handed her a towel to clean the mess, but it was clear he found this whole situation more than a little funny. “Is that what the kids are calling it these days?”

  Her whole face was flushed, which wasn’t unusual, but damn, was it sexy.

  He stared at Tyler who was still grinning from ear to ear, and he fought the urge to kick the man’s ass. “Shut up, Tyler.” The tension between the two of them was something Sam had never experienced before, and wandering into unknown territory scared him.

  She hadn’t spoken more than two words to him since the guys left, and it was driving him insane. The constant talking in circles to avoid actually talking about whatever was going on between the two of them he could handle, but the silent treatment was too much.

  He took her empty coffee cup and filled it back up before sitting down. She thanked him, but her eyes never left the pile of papers in front of her. One thing he’d come to learn about Ashlee Daniels was that she was an old-school type of woman—paper over computer. Their small table was covered with sheets of papers with scribbles of writing everywhere. He had no idea how she managed to be as efficient as she was.

  Watching her work, he came to the conclusion that she was thoroughly and knowingly avoiding having a conversation with him. Judging by her coffee spill when he told Tyler he was staying, she was also actively avoiding spending time alone with him.

  That wasn’t going to work for him, not at all.

  He leaned back against the leather seat and watched as her brows furrowed, a sign that whatever she was doing was giving her a headache. A perfect way in. “So, what are you working on right now?”

  She was startled by his voice, jumping in her seat. Her smile, the way her eyes shone when she heard his voice, the way her hair fell around her face—he loved everything about Ashlee Daniels.

  Damn, this woman is going to be the death of me.

  Her eyes landed on his, and he could see the emotions flying around in her face as she spoke. “Oh, hmm… the draft for the articles of incorporation so you can look them over.”

  It seemed like she would either jump over the table and take what they both wanted or she was about to get lost in the paperwork again. He just couldn’t let that happen.

  “I take it these articles of incorporation are giving you a hard time.”

  “Why would you say that?” She looked at him like she was analyzing how he figured her out.

  I’m going to love showing her exactly how much I already know.

  He leaned forward and put his arms down on the table, his hands inches away from her. Her eyes were glued to his arms. Yeah, the woman had a thing for his arms, and the way she was looking at him right then would keep him working out for the rest of his life. “You’re frowning. You only frown when you’re about to get a headache.”

  Frustration crawled all over her face as if she were gearing up for a fight. He knew she didn’t like how well he could read her. “I am not frowning,” she told him in her best assertive voice, but the hint of vulnerability she always gave him was right there, giving a part of herself to him.

  He laughed, his head thrown back, and he could feel her eyes on his throat. The image of her licking and biting his neck crept into his head and went straight to his cock. He shifted in his seat, trying to regain his composure, even if he knew it was a lost cause. “Yes, you are, darling. There’s nothing wrong with that. How about we take a break?”

  “Hmmm, I still have a lot of work to do here, Sam.” Anyone could see the pros and cons list she was creating in her head. She always seemed to do that before deciding whether or not she should do something. He wondered what the list she had about him looked like; he would sure as hell love to turn all her cons into pros.

  If he didn’t take the choice away from her, she wouldn’t allow herself to take a break, so he took matters into his own hands. He closed her notebooks and just smiled when she looked at him. “Take ten minutes, Ashlee. The work isn’t going anywhere.”

  “I guess you’re right. You know, this whole bus thing isn’t at all what I was expecting.” His smile widened because he had a pretty good idea of what she’d expected—parties and women. Shit, he couldn’t even remember the last time they’d had a party on this bus, or had groupies inside.

  The music and being the best artists they could be were their only priorities, even if most people still thought they were living the high life. “What were you expecting?” he asked her, curious to see where this conversation was going.

  She stared at him as if she was trying to decide how to say something without offending him; she always took the time to consider h
is feelings. She took a few sips of coffee before looking at him intensely. “I don’t know actually. Something more rock and roll, I guess.” She bit her bottom lip, and he heard himself growl. It drove him crazy when she did that.

  He cleared his throat, trying to focus on his answer as she bit down on her lower lip again, like she was doing it on purpose to torture him. “Don’t get me wrong, we’ve had our fair share of parties and wild nights, but we’re not young and stupid anymore. The parties, the booze, the groupies… it’s not who we are. Hell, that lifestyle actually makes us feel old because I don’t think we could handle it like we used to.”

  She leaned in, her voice soft as she spoke to him, making him long to haul her over the table and hug her. “Do you ever get tired of it? The groupies, I mean. Women throwing themselves at you all the time.”

  There was that vulnerability again. He fucking loved that she cared enough about him to ask him about groupies and if it was something he still adhered to. “I won’t lie. It used to have its appeal, when we were young and dying to fuck everything that moved, but now, just the thought of it makes me wanna throw up. Look at where we are now. Jarrod’s married with a kid, Mike’s in love with a reporter but won’t admit it, Austin’s still healing a broken heart from his high school sweetheart, and Tyler thinks he’s so fucked up that he stays away from any connection with women. Groupies aren’t our thing anymore.”

  She played with the rings on her fingers, keeping her head down. “What about you? You mentioned everyone but you.”

  He leaned over the table and, with his fingers under her chin, tilted her head up so she could see his face as he answered. There was no way they were having this conversation without looking at each other; he needed her to see he wasn’t lying, to trust him. “Honey, the last thing on my mind is groupies when you’re all I can think about… all I can dream about.”

  “I shouldn’t have asked that. I’m sorry.”

  He kept his fingers under her chin even as she tried to push him away. He didn’t like her apologizing for asking something they both needed to clear up. He wanted her to feel comfortable and safe to ask him anything, and he needed her to know that he would always tell her the truth. “Ashlee, don’t ever be sorry for asking me something that obviously matters to you. You want to know if I’d ever fuck a groupie? The answer is no because the only person I want in my bed is sitting right in front of me. Whatever’s going on between us only stands a chance if we’re honest with each other.”

  She swallowed hard and he watched the pulse beating fast in her neck. He got to her all right, even if she didn’t want to admit it. “Nothing can happen between us, Sam.”

  “So you keep saying, honey, but see, there’s only one little problem with that—I’m not letting you go.” He was pushing his luck and he damn well knew it, but he couldn’t help himself. He wanted her more than he’d ever wanted a woman before. Not just because he was attracted to her, but because he felt a connection with her he never thought he would have with a woman. That wasn’t something he was ready to give up—not now, not ever.

  “Is that why this charity is important to you? Because you can’t let go of something?”

  Leave it to Ashlee to change a conversation from something highly personal between the two of them to safer ground where she didn’t have to expose herself or her feelings.

  “Nice save, Miss Daniels. I’ll let you have it for now. This charity is my way of giving kids the same opportunities that someone once gave me. I was a fucked-up kid, Ashlee. I got into drugs and was on my way to jail or the morgue when someone helped me turn my life around. That’s why this is so important to me. I want kids to know they’re not alone, that they don’t have to throw their lives away because of what happened to them. I want them to know they can have a safe place to go, a place where they could have a chance to make something of themselves.” He should’ve been surprised by how easy that came out, but when it came to Ashlee, he was more than comfortable sharing pieces of his life.

  He wanted her to know everything about him, and then still give him a chance to be the man she needed, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready to go that far yet. Even if she showed she was one step ahead of him. “Is that where the scars on your back are from?”

  He took a deep breath and ran his hands over his face, giving himself time to find the courage to have this conversation with her. “No. That’s from what pushed me to the streets in the first place.”

  She must’ve seen how hard it was for him to talk about this. That was the only explanation as to why she wrapped her fingers in his, holding his hands like she was his own personal lifeline. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push.”

  He squeezed her hands. “Ashlee, we talked about this. Don’t apologize to me for wanting to get to know me. My dad was a mean, selfish bastard. That’s where the scars are from.”

  He expected her to gasp or run in the opposite direction, but she didn’t. She squeezed his hands harder and when he looked into her eyes, he didn’t see pity, just what he hoped was admiration for the man he’d become.

  “There’s more to the story, isn’t there?”

  “Yes.” He didn’t trust himself to make full sentences right then. The conflict of emotions running through him was making it hard for him to breathe.

  She released his hands and his panic grew more intense, but then she stood and took the seat beside him, cupping his face in her hands. “You know you can tell me, right? I would never judge you, Sam.”

  He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t talk. He lowered his head to her chest and for the first time in his life, he cried in front of a woman.

  ASHLEE

  The behind-the-scenes chaos before a Saints and Sinners show kept everyone on edge. There was no chance for quiet processing time when the biggest band on the planet was getting ready to take the stage. She wasn’t a stranger to backstage craziness, but this was on a whole other level. She squeezed the all-access pass, the lanyard wrapped around her fingers, as her security escort led the way to Sam’s dressing room. When he told her about the escort, she thought he was being overly obsessive, but after stepping outside the bus and seeing the crowd of rowdy fans waiting for the guys, she was thankful for the extra thought.

  When she reached his dressing room, she stopped in front of his door, debating whether or not she should go in. She knew he would be alone because that was his ritual, but the last thing she wanted to do was interrupt him.

  “He’s not gonna bite, you know.” She turned around at the sound of a man’s voice, smiling when she saw Austin leaning against the wall on the other side of the small hallway.

  “I just know he likes to be alone before a show. I don’t want to bug him.” She had a pretty good idea of how stupid she looked, and was well aware of how much she was giving away about her feelings for Sam.

  “I’m pretty sure seeing you would become his new preshow ritual, darling.” Austin pushed himself off the wall and walked toward her. The man was drop-dead gorgeous, there was no denying that, but his body carried so much tension she wondered how he didn’t just snap. “He likes you a lot, Ashlee, and that’s putting it mildly. And it’s pretty obvious you feel the same way about him. Sam’s the best man I know. Give him a chance.” He kissed her forehead before leaving her alone in the hallway with the security guard, who was doing his best to hide a smile.

  She straightened her shirt before wrapping her fingers around the door handle. Taking a deep breath, she knocked, and opened the door to Sam’s dressing room. What she saw next almost made her faint. He was shirtless, wearing a pair of low-rise jeans, showing off the V that made her crazy with lust. His hair was still wet from a shower, and his feet were bare. She stepped inside and closed the door behind her, leaning on it to keep herself from stumbling.

  “Ashlee, you need to stop looking at me like that.” When his voice made her blood boil, she realized she was eye-fucking him from across the room. She couldn’t help herself; the man was pure perfection, and a
body like that was made to be admired and worshiped. And she knew just how she would worship that body—with her hands, her tongue….

  Shit, I need to get a grip before I lose it.

  “It’s not my fault you look like that. Good God, your body is insane. I never get tired of seeing it.” She gestured to his abs and his shoulders, desperate to feel his skin against hers, his arms wrapped around her.

  His expression said he knew exactly what she was thinking about, and she should’ve been embarrassed but all she felt was hot. He took a few steps toward her, his arms beside her head on the back of the door, caging her between the wall and his body. She could feel his warmth around her; he smelled so good all she wanted to do was lick him.

  “As much as I appreciate your admiration of my body, if you don’t stop looking at me like you want to fuck the ever-loving hell out of me, we’re going to have a problem, honey.”

  He nipped her earlobe before pulling away, leaving her in a pool of lust. She had to pull herself together; she was a grown woman, not a teenager for crying out loud. “I didn’t know if you would mind me coming to see you before a show or not. I know you usually like to be alone before hitting the stage, so I can leave if you want.”

  He looked conflicted for about a second, and she was ready to bolt from the room and hide out until her embarrassment faded. She was surprised when he sat on the sofa and smiled at her like she was the one thing he wanted there with him. “Stay… I want you to stay, Ashlee.”

  She relaxed, but was still unsure of what she should be doing. This was so far out of her element, and she didn’t know how to behave. “Okay. Are you nervous about hitting the stage?”

  “Not really. It always comes together the second we all go out there. Come here.” He motioned to the seat next to him and before she could tell her body not to move, she was beside him, resting her head on his bare chest.