Saved by the Music (Saints & Sinners Book 2)

by Kaithlin Shepherd

  She looked at Sam for a few seconds, and then she glanced at the guys who were all smiling at them. “I would love to run the foundation,” she managed to say through the flow of tears that wouldn’t stop.

  The next thing she knew, she was being crushed by five guys hugging her. Even if she knew the next few weeks and months would be some of the hardest in her life, she had everything she needed to get through it right in that kitchen.

  Grief was a funny thing. It had a way of sneaking up on you so you never saw it coming. Ashlee was pressed against Sam’s naked body, warm water floating around them as he rubbed away the tension from her shoulders. She had no idea what she would do without him, knowing there was no way she could ever get through it by herself.

  She was all alone now, no more family to be there for her. Her mom wouldn’t see her get married, or have children. All the things that seemed so petty before seemed so important now.

  “They tell you that picturing your life without your loved ones is a good way to prepare to grieve. I never did that. I never imagined it would ever happen. I knew she was in a bad way, but you never think the worst scenario is actually the one you’re going to be faced with. She was my whole world.” She didn’t know how she managed to get through all that without choking up.

  “Your mom was a spectacular woman, and I know she was proud of you,” Sam said from behind her, his hands still resting on her shoulders.

  “I just think of all the things she’s going to miss. She’s not going to see me get married, or be there when I have kids. I always thought she would be there for all of that.” She could hear the tremor in her voice as she spoke.

  Sam tightened his hold on her, and she let herself sink against him, needing him more than she cared to admit right then.

  “She might not be there with you physically, but she’ll be there watching over you.” Deep down, she knew he was right, but it wasn’t the same. She wouldn’t be able to see her mom’s smile or hear her advice.

  “I know, but it’s not the same thing.” She wrapped her fingers around his and brought his hand up to her mouth, pressing a kiss to the top.

  “I know, baby. I’m here for whatever you need.”

  “And I love you for that. I know things are difficult right now and I’m not the best company, but I love you, Sam, and I love you for being there for me. I couldn’t do this without you.” And she believed every single word.

  “I’m always going to be here for you, always. It’s you and me against the world.” His words hit a sore spot and she couldn’t hold it in anymore; the tears rolled down her face, and she couldn’t prevent the sobs. When Sam’s arms circled her, anchoring her, she leaned in to him and let herself start grieving, one day at a time.

  SAM

  Sam rolled over in the middle of the night, the sound of his phone ringing waking him. He scrubbed his hand over his face and glanced at the clock—3:00 a.m.

  Ashlee reached for him, her hand on his shoulder. “Who’s calling you in the middle of the night?”

  He grabbed his phone from the bedside table and looked down at the screen. “It’s my mom.” He straightened himself in bed and leaned back against the headboard as he answered.

  “Mom, what’s going on? Are you okay?” When he heard his mom sniffle on the other line, he knew something wasn’t right.

  “He escaped, Sam. Your father escaped from custody.” The words hit him like a brick wall, and he was suddenly fighting to breathe. With everything else happening in their lives, this was the last thing they needed.

  Ashlee’s hands brushed against his chest, her warm body sliding next to him. “Sam, breathe for me.” He took a deep breath, then another, and another.

  He nodded to Ashlee then focused on the woman crying in his ear. “What happened, Mom?”

  “I don’t know. All they told me was that he escaped and injured two officers in the process. Sam, he’s going to come after you.” He knew she was right, but unlike the little boy he once was, he wasn’t scared. He had something to protect, someone to keep safe, and he would not fail.

  He wrapped his arm around Ashlee’s shoulders and pulled her in to his body. “It’s going to be okay, Mom. He can’t hurt me anymore. If he comes for me, I’ll be waiting for him. Ashlee and I are going to be fine. I’m going to drive over and collect you. I want you to stay here until they find him.”

  “Okay. I love you, Sam.” His mom’s voice was shaky, and he could tell she was scared. Fuck, his dad still managed to evoke fear in her, and he fucking hated it.

  “I love you, too, Mom. See you soon.” He ended the call and dropped the phone on the bed. Tightening his hold on Ashlee, he pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head. He inhaled her scent a few times, forcing the blood in his veins to stop boiling.

  “Sam, what’s going on?” Her concern reminded him of just what he had to lose.

  He sighed and leaned his head back on the headboard. “My dad managed to escape. We don’t know much except for the fact that he injured two officers while doing it. I can’t fucking escape him, Ashlee. It doesn’t matter what I do. He’s always there, waiting to blow in and screw up my life.”

  “You listen to me, and you listen well, Sam Brooks. That man only has the power you give him. You have built an amazing life for yourself, and nothing he ever does will take that away from you. Whatever that man has planned for us, we’ll face it together. We’ll get through this together as a unit. He can’t hurt you anymore. I won’t let him.”

  Of the million things she could have said, that was exactly what he needed to hear. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I would do it again. I love you so fucking much, Ashlee.”

  “I love you, too. I’m going to make up the guest bedroom for your mom. How about you make a pot of coffee and head out to collect your mom. I doubt we’ll be getting much sleep tonight.” She gave him a quick kiss and pulled herself out of bed, grabbing her yoga pants. He smiled when she shimmied into the pants, which he swore were made to torture him with a perfect view of her ass.

  “Stop looking at my ass.” She glanced at him from over her shoulder, and he knew angels were smiling down on him.

  “I can’t help it when you wear those pants. Your ass looks great.”

  “You are incorrigible, and I love you for it. I know it looks like the world is against us, but I promise you everything will be okay.”

  And he believed it. He believed in them.

  Over an hour later, he pulled up to his driveway with his mom in the passenger seat. It had taken him almost an hour to calm her down and get her in the car. “It’s going to be all right, Mom. No matter what happens, it’s going to be all right.”

  “I know, honey. I just hate that he still manages to weave himself into our lives.”

  “It won’t be forever. One day, it’s going to end.” He had to believe that or else why the hell was he hanging on? He had to have faith that things would be okay.

  ASHLEE

  The day she had been dreading since that night at the hospital had finally arrived—they were officially saying good-bye to her mother. She had no idea how she had managed to get through the last week.

  Actually no, that was a lie. Sam was the reason she was still standing, and he was the reason she could smile through all of this. He had been her rock, and she didn’t think it was possible to love a man more than she loved him.

  There were some days where losing her mom felt like a nightmare she would wake up from at any moment, and other days the pain was so real it took everything she had to get out of bed. It was one of those days. She woke pressed against Sam’s body, her left leg draped over his with her arm around his chest. Ashlee didn’t want to leave the comfort of their bed, but her mother deserved her to be strong today. She deserved the best from her, and that meant getting out of bed and making it through the funeral.

  She snuggled closer to Sam and inhaled his scent as he stirred then slowly opened his eyes. “Good morning, baby.” Oh, the sound of
his voice first thing in the morning. It was so raspy and sexy.

  “Good morning. How did you sleep?” She tilted her head back so she could see his eyes.

  He kissed her forehead. “I should be asking you that. You tossed and turned all night.”

  She sighed as a single tear fell down her cheek, closing her eyes when she Sam wiped it away. “I kept thinking about today, and I couldn’t stop my brain. I’m burying my mother today, Sam. I’m not ready to do this. I’m not supposed to be doing this so early in my life. She should’ve had more time. She deserved more time, and I deserved more time with her. It’s not fair.”

  He tightened his hold on her, and she all but crawled over him. “You’re right, it’s not fair. She died before her time, but she wouldn’t want you hurting yourself over this. She would want you to grieve, but she wouldn’t want to watch you die little by little. She lived a great life with a man she loved more than life, and who loved her back. She raised an incredible daughter who has grown up to be a wonderful woman. She didn’t die unfinished. She died with memories that most of us strive for our entire lives.”

  “You are very wise, Sam Brooks,” she managed to say with a smile on her face—a true genuine smile because he always knew exactly what to say.

  “Come on, my mom is probably already up and going insane waiting for us.” He squeezed her hip before climbing off the bed in all his naked glory. She rolled to her back and closed her eyes. Having Charlotte in the house made things easier for her, gave her someone else apart from Sam to confide in. There was so much going on in their lives with Sam’s dad still in the wind that she couldn’t help but feel bad about unburdening her emotions on them, but they never complained once.

  When a shirt landed on her face, she giggled and looked over at Sam. “Get your ass out of bed before I get back in there and keep us there all day.”

  That sounded pretty good to her, but when he gave her the look that said he wasn’t messing around, she rolled to her side and glanced back at him. “All right, I’m up. You can stop torturing me with false promises of sex.” They both laughed and she knew she would be okay.

  After she showered and dressed, she headed downstairs and was bombarded by the smell of waffles and the sound of bacon cooking. She stayed back, remaining silent, and watched Sam and his mom doing a perfect dance in the kitchen. The ache in her heart made it hard to breathe, because she would never do something like that with her own mother again.

  Shaking her head, she walked up to the counter. “This smells amazing. You guys went all out this morning.”

  Sam turned instantly at the sound of her voice. He smiled at her, making everything brighter. He closed the distance between them and kissed her softly. The kiss was chaste, but it was everything she needed. “It was my mom’s idea. Things got a little out of hand, so I hope you’re hungry.”

  Charlotte whirled around, smiling at them. “I just wanted to do something nice for both of you. I know things have been crazy lately, and today is a big day. You should both have a good breakfast.”

  “It all looks amazing, Charlotte. Thank you for doing all of this.” Even though she wasn’t all that hungry, Charlotte’s intentions came from a good place, and there was no way she was messing this up for her. Sam’s mom had been so good with Ashlee, giving her the space she needed but always being there for her if she needed someone to talk to.

  Charlotte kissed her cheek. “It’s my pleasure, darling. Now you just sit down, and I’ll bring you some coffee.” She motioned toward the kitchen table before heading back to the kitchen.

  “She’s been like this all morning. I’m sorry if it’s too much.” Sam took her hand in his and squeezed gently in support.

  She shook her head and smiled at him. “It’s not too much. Doing this makes her happy, Sam, and with everything going on with your dad, I’m not going to take that away from her.”

  “This isn’t about her. It’s about you, Ashlee.” His words hit her straight in the heart. She hated that he didn’t see her as strong enough to handle all their problems. They were committed to each other, and that meant sharing the burden. It was time for him to understand that. She needed him to understand that.

  “Don’t say that, Sam. Your dad is missing, and as much as my heart hurts right now, I’m not blind. I can see how stressed out and scared she is, and how much it’s affecting you, even if you don’t talk about it. I know you’re trying to protect me, and that you think I’m going to break if you unload on me, but I won’t. I’m strong enough to support both of us. You make me strong enough to handle everything.” She pressed her palm to his left cheek, sighing when he leaned in to her touch.

  “I don’t want you to have to deal with my shit.” God, she loved him, but sometimes he could be the most infuriating man in the world.

  “Maybe, but I do. I want to deal with your shit. I want to know what’s going through your head, and what you’re feeling in your heart. I want it all, Sam. You don’t get to decide what I can and can’t handle.” It felt good to lay everything out on the table, and when she saw the glimmer in his eye, she knew he had gotten the point.

  “Okay. I love you, Ashlee Daniels.”

  She moved into him and kissed him softly. When she felt him smile against her lips, her heart fluttered, wanting to memorize the moment.

  He grabbed the back of her neck and pressed his forehead against hers. Their connection was so strong she couldn’t think about anything else. “And I love you, Sam Brooks.”

  She barely registered the sound of footsteps until she felt Charlotte’s hand on her shoulder. “All right, kids, keep some of that for the bedroom. Breakfast is ready.”

  They both laughed as they got ready to tackle one of the hardest days of their lives.

  SAM

  Sitting in the front of the church, Sam held Ashlee’s hand as they listened to the pastor speak. “Her life and her death made an imprint on everyone who knew her. And our life and our death will also leave an imprint on those we encounter on this side of eternity.”

  He felt Ashlee’s body go limp beside him, and when he looked at her, her face was soaked with tears. Wrapping an arm around her shoulder, he pulled her to him. She turned her face toward his body, and he just held her. “It’s okay, baby. It’s going to be okay,” he whispered into her hair, not knowing what else to say.

  “I believe her daughter, Ashlee, would like to say a few words.”

  Sam stood as the pastor spoke and helped Ashlee up. She shook like a leaf, and he wanted to wrap her in a bubble and save her this heartache. She wiped her face, and then smiled faintly at him.

  “I’m fine. I can do this,” she told him before kissing his cheek. He watched as she walked up to the altar and hugged the pastor. Taking her place behind the podium, she looked around the church. There weren’t a lot of people present—Ashlee had wanted to keep it intimate—but everyone who loved her, and everyone who loved Sam, was there, supporting Ashlee. He didn’t think they knew how much it meant to her, but he did.

  “My mom was the kind of person who brightened a room every time she walked in. She had this joy about her that was just contagious. She loved meeting new people, and learning their story. She always said that in order to understand our place in the world, we had to understand other people’s place. When she first got sick, it was such a shock. We had just lost my father, and I didn’t think I could go through that again. My mom sat me down and told me that whatever happened, this was her place in the world. At first, I was so angry that she would say something like that because her place was at home, not in a hospital bed. But now, I understand what she meant. It was her place to be reunited with the love of her life. She might no longer be here with me, but she will always be in my heart. I love you, Mom. You and Dad take care of each other.”

  Sam wiped a tear from his face as Ashlee gazed up to the ceiling and pressed her hand over her heart. He was up before she had taken the first step, and when she almost fell, he held her up. “I got you.�
� He supported her as they made their way back to the front row, and when she broke down in sobs, he held her closer than ever.

  Leaning back against the tree as he watched Ashlee lean over her mother’s coffin, Sam couldn’t shake a tingling feeling that something wasn’t right. There was something in the air he couldn’t quite put his finger on, and he didn’t like it one bit. He looked around, finding comfort in the extra security they had hired for the funeral. He hated having strangers there, but with his dad still out in the world, and with the press gathering around, keeping Ashlee safe trumped everything else.

  “How is she doing?” Trish asked him from her chair, Emma asleep on her shoulder.

  He glanced over to where Ashlee was speaking with the pastor. She looked at peace—sad, but at peace. “It’s been hard on her, but she’s taking it one day at a time. There are times I feel so helpless. I don’t know what to do to make it better for her.”

  “You can’t make it better, but you can be there for her like you are now. It’s obvious that you are what’s keeping her together. She doesn’t need you to make it better. She just needs you to be you. Is there any word on your dad?” He could hear the concern in her voice—hell, he could relate.

  It was the million-dollar question. It had been weeks since they’d been told he’d escaped, yet there was no news. Nothing at all, which scared the hell out of him. There was nothing about that man that didn’t scare him. “No, not yet.”

  Trish looked up at him. “Maybe he’s gone for good. Maybe he won’t come after you.”

  He knew she meant well, but he also knew his dad would never stop until he got whatever he was after. Thinking anything else would make him delusional. His dad was a vindictive man, and Sam knew he was after some ill-placed sense of revenge.

  He dropped a hand on Trish’s shoulder as he glanced over at Ashlee. “Maybe.”

  Someone moving in the shadows caught his eye, and his whole body went on high alert.