by Steph Nuss
“That’s fine.” I tossed my coat and purse over the back of a bar stool at the island and took a seat at the other end of the couch. The tension between us was growing more evident by the second with his clipped phrases and my short answers.
We sat in silence, watching American Pickers on The History Channel. It was one of his favorite shows, and I blamed Mrs. J. for that. It was like the man version of Antiques Roadshow, and she’d gotten him hooked on it. But I couldn’t totally blame her. Justin was addicted to The History Channel, so he would’ve found it one way or another. The fact that these guys enjoyed digging through other people’s junk grossed me out, and the fact that they almost always found a pot of gold amidst all the garbage pissed me off, too. But the way they rattled off historical information reminded me of Justin, and that was the only thing I liked about the show; I learned something new each time I watched.
When it cut to a commercial, Justin turned the volume down and shifted towards me, placing his arm over the back of the couch. “I’m sorry about this morning. I wasn’t trying to interrogate you. I just think you deserve so much more than everything you’ve had to deal with lately.”
“You think I don’t know that?” I asked fervently, shifting my body to face his. “I know I deserve more, but I don’t know how to deserve a guy like you! I know more about drugs and alcohol than I do about things like the ballet or any of this antique crap! I can roll a joint or get away with stealing a bottle of liquor because those are the things I watched growing up.” Resting my elbow on the couch next to his hand, I ran a hand through my hair as tears threatened my eyes. “After you offered me a place to stay, I decided to try online dating because I was trying to get over you. Now, you want to know my darkest secret, and I’m scared to tell you because I’m not over you, not even close. How can I be when you send me lunch, or when you leave the bar early to come hang out with me after I’ve been stood up, or when you read to me in bed because I’m too shook up to read myself? You’re the perfect guy, Justin. You’re sweet and caring, and I know you would never do anything to hurt me.” I brushed away a fallen tear and gazed back at him. “But I don’t know how to be good enough for you. All I know is—”
“You can’t get over me,” he interjected, before grabbing the back of my neck and covering my lips with his. He stole my breath away in an instant, kissing me back with the same fervor as if he couldn’t breathe without me. Scooting closer, he eliminated the space between us and tilted my head so he could devour me at a different angle, tangling his tongue around mine and sucking in sweet, smooth motions that made my insides tremble with need. He was all I could focus on. The delicious cinnamon taste of his gum still lingered in his mouth, and his clean, masculine scent enveloped me. His touch electrified my senses, awakening a passion that couldn’t go unnoticed. I never wanted this kiss to stop, yet at the same time I did, so it could start all over again with him desperately grabbing me and taking what had always been his. My lips have always had his name on them, and now he knew it. He massaged the back of my neck with his fingers before breaking away with that boyish grin spreading across his face. “You can’t get over me because I’m falling in love with you.”
Relief flooded my system, and my heart ached hearing his words. “You are? Since when?”
“Do you remember that day I freaked out about the food and laundry?”
I nodded with a laugh, cupping his face in my hands. “Like it was yesterday.”
“I’ve wanted to kiss you ever since,” he admitted, pressing a chaste kiss to my lips. “You’ve never tried to change me, and I love that about you. So, you have to know that I don’t want to change a thing about you. No matter what you’ve been through, it’s not going to affect the way I feel about you. You’re a strong, beautiful woman because of everything you’ve had to endure, and that’s enough for me.” He lightly brushed his thumb over the bruise on my cheek and looked me in the eyes. “You just don’t have to brave it all alone anymore.”
Wrapping my arms around his shoulders, I pulled him into a hug. “I don’t want to be alone anymore, but I don’t know if I can tell you what happened, why I have the nightmares. I’ve never talked about it out loud.”
He brushed a hand over the back of my head soothingly. “I think talking about it might help them go away. Release those demons so they can’t haunt you anymore.”
I pulled away with tears threatening my eyes and studied his features. He stared back at me with those bright blue eyes shimmering with understanding and care, his mouth lined with a delicate smile. Reaching out, he brushed a fallen tear off my cheek and held my gaze.
“You don’t have to tell me right now,” he murmured against my lips. “But I do want to know because I love you.”
“Promise me, when I tell you, it won’t change the way you see me,” I whispered, sealing my lips over his.
His lips brushed over mine once and then twice before he muttered, “I promise.”
Then he lifted me into his lap, and our mouths collided, hard and demanding, securing our promises to each other. Eventually, I’d tell him about the nightmare, but right now, I just wanted to drown myself in his touch for the night, and live out every pleasurable dream and fantasy I’ve ever had about the one guy I’ve always wanted.
Straddling his hips, I ran my fingers through his soft, sandy hair and tugged, eliciting an amorous moan that vibrated from him all the way down to my lady box. He anchored his hands to my waist as I rocked myself against his erection and continued devouring his perfect mouth. He was an excellent kisser. His tongue worshipped mine like it was the holy grail, drinking every ounce of pleasure I offered and giving it back to me fruitfully. We were licking and sucking until neither one of us could breathe. Never in all the years of our friendship had I experienced Justin so wanton and needy like he was now, and I felt victorious for making him lose control.
Creeping my hands underneath his shirt, I grazed my fingers over his sculpted abs as a knock sounded at the door. He broke away from my lips and rested his head back on the couch.
“That’s the pizza,” he sighed, his eyes dark with desire as a wicked smile played at his lips.
Jesus, he’s hot when he’s turned on.
I smiled down at his arousal and climbed off of him. “I’ll get it.”
“Good idea.” He pulled out his wallet and handed me a fifty. “Tell him to keep the change.”
I scoffed, rolling my eyes. “I’m all for tipping generously but that’s way too much.”
He reached for my hand and pulled me in between his legs. “If it means getting you back in my lap quicker, I’ll give him a hundred.”
“Who are you, and what have you done with Justin Jameson?” I asked incredulously. Seeing him this turned on by simply making out made me more eager to experience how amazing he must be in bed.
He laughed, pulling me down for another quick kiss. “What have I done? I let myself fall for you. I think it was the best decision I’ve made in a long time.” He gave my ass a light tap and smiled. “Grab our pizza and get back here.”
“Okay, okay,” I twirled around and opened the door. I paid for our pizza and just as the delivery guy started to walk away, Whitley exited her apartment across the hall wearing a pair of dark green scrubs.
“Hey, Tessa,” she said, offering me a smile, even though I didn’t deserve one from her.
“Hi,” I replied, leaning against the doorframe.
She eyed the box of pizza and laughed. “Looks like Justin cooked tonight, huh?”
“Yeah,” I said with a shrug. “I couldn’t completely break him of his takeout habit.”
“How he doesn’t gain weight eating out all the time, I’ll never know.”
“Right?” I laughed along with her. An awkward silence hung in the hallway between us for a few seconds and I finally broke. “Whitley, I’m really sorry about the other morning. It was a misunderstanding on my part, and I hope you can forgive me for acting like a bitch. I had no idea you were o
ur neighbor. I thought you were some girl he hooked up with, and I’m woman enough to admit that I was jealous.”
“It’s okay. I completely understand.” The smile on her face widened as she stepped closer to me. She motioned me forward like she had a secret to tell me, so I gave her my ear and she whispered. “Just don’t hurt him. He’s a great guy, and I know he really likes you.”
“I won’t because the feeling’s mutual.”
“Good,” she said, backing away. “Have a good night, Tessa.”
“You too, Whit.”
Walking back into the apartment, I found Justin still sitting on the couch. The bulge in his pants was still quite evident.
“Come here,” he said.
I dropped the box of pizza on the coffee table and hopped back into his lap and pressed my lips to his, unable to get enough of him. The scratch of his stubble branded my skin, creating a beautiful contradiction to the way his mouth gently glided over mine as our kisses deepened. I couldn’t wait to discover the rest of him. The way he felt in my hands. How he sounded when he came. The way he looked during sex. The idea of us in bed together made me want to drag him back to my room and find out the wonders I still had yet to discover about him.
Toying with the waistband of his sweats, I ran my hand down the front of them and traced the outline of his cock with my fingertip.
“Tessa,” Justin groaned, leaning his forehead against mine.
“What?” I teased, gripping his length through the material. “You’re commando underneath here. Do you know how hard it’s been living with you knowing you walk around in sweats commando?”
“Yes, I do,” he laughed, grabbing my wrist. He pulled my hand away from his shaft and lifted it to his mouth. Pressing a soft kiss to my palm, he smiled. “Almost as hard as it is living with you in the scanty clothes you call pajamas.”
“What’s wrong with my pajamas?!” I exclaimed, laughing.
“You don’t wear a bra, and the shorts are damn near underwear.”
“They’re called boy shorts,” I explained, linking my hands around the back of his neck. “You don’t like them?”
“I love them,” he said, raking his hands through my hair. “What I don’t like is the idea of other men seeing you in them.”
With his admission, I softened in his hands like putty. “You don’t have to worry about other guys. You’re the only one I want seeing me like that.”
“No more dating?” he asked, curiosity lining his voice.
“I’m done with online dating.”
“Good.” He dragged me back in for a quick peck on the lips and then pulled away wearing a big grin. “Because I bought tickets to the ballet, and I plan on making it our first date.”
“Really?” I asked eagerly. “You’re taking me to the ballet.”
“I told you I would,” he said, caressing my cheek. He studied my bruise and then gently pressed a sweet kiss below it. “I want to do this right with you.”
“So no bedroom shenanigans tonight?” I asked jokingly.
Instead of laughing like I thought he would, he trailed his lips along my neck up to my ear. “No bedroom shenanigans. Trust me. It’ll be worth the wait.”
“Pretty sure of yourself there, Dr. Jameson?” I asked, biting back a moan.
He chuckled against my ear and then sucked on my lobe. “I’m sure if I reached into your pants and pulled your thong to the side, I’d find you soaking wet for me.”
My heart rate escalated with his hot, wanton words as heat flushed over my skin and need pounded between my legs. Holy shit, he talks dirty, too. He hardly said anything around all of us, but secretly had a filthy mouth when it came to sex. Jackpot.
“Am I right?” He teased me, sucking on the skin beneath my ear as he caressed a finger down the center seam of my pants. “Tell me I’m right.”
“You’re so right,” I said, in a breathy voice I didn’t even recognize as I rocked against his hard-on.
“See,” he quipped, halting my hips with his hands and pulling back to face me. “Anticipation is half the fun.”
“Tell that to my lady box,” I murmured to myself.
Or so I thought.
Justin lifted me off his lap and threw me back down on the couch with ease. I laughed loudly, completely surprised by his actions. Sliding in between my legs, he pressed a kiss to the inside of my covered thigh and then smiled at me before speaking directly to my lady box. “Look, I know we both want to have some fun right now, but I’m trying to show your owner the respect she deserves. My dick is just as devastated as you are, trust me, but work with me here.”
The sight of him between my legs, so close to the place that I needed him most, coupled with his warm, sexy voice vibrating against my sensitive flesh, turned me on even more. My yoga pants did nothing to block his charms.
“She drives a hard bargain,” he said, pressing a kiss to my stomach. He crawled up my body and hovered over me. “I could smell how aroused you are.”
“And you’re not going to do anything about it?” I asked, pouting slightly.
“Not tonight.” That devilish smile played on his lips again as his eyes danced with excitement. “Are you hungry?”
“Pizza will have to do,” I said, shoving him off of me.
***
I came back into the living room with plates and beers, and set them on the coffee table next to our pizza. Loading each of our plates with a couple of slices, I sat back down next to Tessa and pulled her close to my side.
Tonight had gone a lot better than I thought it would. I expected more yelling and another fight about her night terror. I had no idea she would confess her feelings for me, and I couldn’t stop the elation pounding in my chest from her confession. But some of the things she’d said still bothered me. Even with the raging hard-on I was trying to overcome, her words echoed in my mind.
“Can I ask you something?” I asked, relaxing back against the couch and gazing over at her.
“Yeah,” she said, swallowing a bite of her food.
“You said earlier that you didn’t know how to be good enough for me,” I stated, running a hand down her arm. I linked our fingers together and asked, “Why’d you think that? Did I do something to make you feel like you weren’t?”
“No, you didn’t.” She took a deep breath and rested her head on my shoulder. “For years, I thought you wouldn’t want me because of my past. I dropped out of high school, so I don’t have several degrees like you do; all I have is my GED. I’m not as smart as you, and I don’t come from money like the rest of our friends. I’m just a receptionist. I thought you’d want someone more like yourself.”
“You’re perfect just the way you are, and that’s enough for me. No degree or amount of income is going to change that. You’re more than just a receptionist, too. You know if it weren’t for you, Elly’s clinic wouldn’t run as smoothly as it does. But I also know it’s not your dream job. You should do what you love. What do you love?”
She thought about my question for a minute while chewing, and then her face lit up with a smile as she stated, “I love planning events.”
I shot her a smile and nodded. “So, you start your own business. We have plenty of friends who run their own businesses, so you won’t have to do it alone. Maybe you can start out gradually, gain a few clients, and then you’ll be able to quit the receptionist job.”
“I’ve only planned a few things,” she said with a shrug. “I don’t know if I can make a career out of it.”
“You never know until you try,” I said, placing my hand on her chin. I lifted her lips to mine and gave her a kiss. “Just like this thing between us. I’ll be honest. It wasn’t until you moved in with me that I started thinking about you as more than a friend. Before, my history with women made me give up on the idea of dating. Now, I’ve tried sitting back and pretending to be okay with you dating other guys, but I haven’t been okay with it at all. It’s killed me to watch other guys hurt you, and after the other ni
ght when that guy hit you, I couldn’t pretend anymore. So, I’m going to try my best to be the man you deserve because you are enough for me. I need you to believe that. Believe in yourself, because I do.”
“Okay,” she whispered with a smile as tears pooled in her eyes.
“Do you want another slice?” I asked, nodding toward the food.
She shook her head. “No, thanks.”
I grabbed another slice for myself, took a bite and then watched as she placed her empty plate on the coffee table and wiped her eyes. She took a deep breath, gathered herself, and then shot me a weak smile over her shoulder. I knew by the way her smile didn’t reach her eyes that something was still bothering her.
“What is it?” I asked, running a hand down her back.
“I don’t want to ruin tonight by talking about my nightmare, but I don’t want to wait to tell you about it either,” she confessed, bouncing her leg nervously. “After everything you’ve done for me, you deserve to know what happened.”
“You’re not going to ruin our night.” Setting my plate on the table, I carefully placed my hand on her knee to ease her nerves, then I pulled her into my side and relaxed back against the couch with her. My stomach flipped knowing I was about to find out what terrified her so much during sleep, but I pushed the anxiety away and focused on her. If she had the courage to tell me, I needed to endure whatever I heard, regardless of the horrible scenarios formulating in my mind. “I want to know. I want to know everything about you, even the dark stuff you’ve never told anyone.”
She nodded and swallowed hard before starting, avoiding eye contact with me as she stared down at her lap. “It happened a couple days after my eighteenth birthday. My mom had already died a few years earlier, so Trey and I were still living with his dad. I’d dropped out of school two years prior because Mom was no longer around to take care of things. That’s when the abuse started. His dad hadn’t started abusing us until after Mom died. She’d been his punching bag when she was alive, so I wasn’t surprised when he started in on us after she died. I just tried my best to protect Trey from him.