Chasing Harpo

by Alan Black

  “Are you sure you know where they are going? How can you know? Was it something Rooster said?”

  Jack said, “Look at your map. Look at it! The false sightings are deliberate diversions. There may be that many blue pickups in Alabama. There may be that many redheads in Alabama. There are not that many blue pickups with redheads in the passenger seat.”

  “I know,” Natalia said. “I figured that out a long time ago.”

  Jack said, “But you didn’t say…”

  Natalia looked unhappy, but she replied, “You have your job and I have mine. I will help you do your job as long as it doesn’t conflict with mine. My job is to get Harpo and Dr. Marks back to the zoo alive.”

  “Okay,” Jack said. “Okay for now. But, do you see the pattern? There are more false sightings up near Blountsville.”

  “So?”

  “Smithson’s Animal Sanctuary is up in Blountsville.”

  Natalia shrugged, “I never heard of them.”

  Jack looked surprised, “Really? Never.”

  Natalia said, “I am security at the zoo, remember. I am not a zoologist or anything. So, you think he is headed there?”

  Jack said, “I know it. If he gets into the sanctuary, we will never be able to dig him out. I have to call in enough troopers to block every road in or out of the sanctuary. We have to stop him before they get there.”

  SIXTEEN

  CARL stopped the pick up. Hanceville had been easy enough to find. Everly’s GasN’Go was just off highway 231, so it had been easy to spot. He had never been friendly with Cloyd Smithson, but he recognized him standing alone behind the convenience store.

  He glanced at Harpo. The ape seemed happy enough to sit and listen to the radio. He realized he was going to have to rig up some kind of radio for Harpo when he got him back to the zoo…if he ever got him back home.

  He slid out of the truck and gently closed the door behind him.

  “Dr. Marks,” Smithson said. “I am Cloyd Smithson. I don’t know if you remember me?”

  Carl said, “I certainly do. I appreciate the work you are doing in Blountville and I certainly appreciate what you are doing for Harpo today.” He held out his hand, but Smithson just looked at it.

  Smithson said, “Just so you know: this is for Harpo and not for you.”

  Carl said, “Yes, sir. I am willing to do whatever it takes to keep Harpo safe.”

  Smithson frowned, “Keeping him safe so you can keep him on display in a zoo?”

  Carl kept his face neutral. It was an old argument between animal rights people and zoologists. “I understand your feelings. But, Harpo was taken from Sumatra at such an early age that he wouldn’t survive if he were to be released back into the wild.”

  Smithson spat into the dust, “Then, why did you take him in the first place?”

  Carl said, “I wish they hadn’t, sir. He was part of a shipment of almost a thousand orphan orangutans captured in Sumatra in the late 1990s for shipment to Japan as pets.”

  “I heard about that. Orphans, indeed!”

  Carl said, “Yes, their mothers were killed to make them orphans, just so a spoiled kid could have an exotic pet. All because some TV show had pet orangutans. And yes, only about ten percent of the orphans survived being taken from their mothers at such an early age.”

  Before Smithson could interrupt, he continued. “And yes, orangutans make terrible pets. Rather than let him be killed, the Birmingham Zoo brought him here. And rather than let him be killed now, I will turn him over to you. And yes, he is an important part of a captive breeding program to keep orangutans from becoming extinct.”

  Despite himself, Carl became angry. “And yes, I would like to protect the hundreds of thousand of hectares of jungles in Borneo and Sumatra needed to protect this valuable species, but I can’t, because of people, sir. While I am willing to do what I have to do to protect apes, I will not do so at the expense of human beings. So, yes, I keep apes of all kinds in zoos. Zoos make money to protect Harpo, Babec, chimps, gibbons and bonobos. Zoos protect these apes from humans, the pressures of human society and population growth. My staff and I work hard to make zoos comfortable for our residents and still be educational for humans. Education may teach humans to care more about our fellow species. As for entertainment? Yes, humans learn faster when they are entertained.”

  Smithson smiled and waved his hands in submission. “Rooster said you could get wound up about your apes. Sorry, I didn’t mean to push your buttons, but I wanted to find out about who you are. Rooster also said that this ape thinks of us as entertainment, right.”

  Carl smiled back in relief. “I believe that he thinks that most humans are there for his entertainment. Some of us,” he pointed a thumb at his own chest, “are here to be his servants.”

  Smithson grinned widely, “I like that. So, let’s get him on the road and out of public view…for the time being.”

  Carl said, “Just so you understand Harpo will come home when it is safe?”

  Smithson said, “I don’t have the facilities to manage an adult orangutan for any length of time. He won’t be happy in some of the old monkey cages that I have, but we can keep him safe for a while. Ready to go?”

  Carl shook his head, “I need to get something for Harpo to eat. He hasn’t had much today at all. Do you think this store has any kind of fresh fruit or maybe some really greasy meat sticks?”

  Smithson said. “I haven’t been in the place, but you watch Harpo. I’ll go see what they have.”

  Carl pulled his wallet. He counted out a hundred dollars in twenties. “Please get all of the fresh fruit they have, whatever kind. If humans can eat it, so can he.”

  “Fruit and Fat Jimmy’s Lard-by-the-Yard Pork Ropes?”

  Carl laughed, “He has an eclectic taste in food. He likes bugs, too. But, I doubt this place carries bags of crickets and cockroaches. His favorite is a nice bar of soap, but only the natural kind without the perfumes and lotions.”

  “Soap?” Smithson looked surprised.

  Carl said, “Odd, but I think it might be the animal fat in the soap. It doesn’t upset his stomach, so I toss him a bar every now and then.”

  Smithson laughed, “I guess anything that can eat a bag of cockroaches isn’t going to get upset at a little clean soap.”

  The man walked away chuckling. He disappeared around the corner of the Gas N’Go heading toward the front door.

  Carl pulled Rooster’s cell phone from his pocket and dialed Gary’s number.

  “Hello, Rooster?” Gary answered.

  Carl said, “No Gary. It’s me, Carl. I still have Rooster’s phone in case someone is listening in on mine.”

  “Carl. Good. The great ape hunt continues?”

  Carl nodded, “So far, We are-”

  “Don’t tell me where you are or where you are going,” Gary interrupted. “They can’t beat out of me what I don’t know.”

  “Okay. Can you give me Chuck’s number?”

  “I can, but I am at his office now,” Gary said. “Rome had to go to work, but I am going to hang around here to see if there is anything else I can do. Chuck is on the phone now with a Supreme Court clerk.”

  “Any luck on getting a stay of execution or an injunction or something?”

  Gary said, “The original order was signed early this morning by Judge Montero from Montgomery. It seems she is a little bit more than angry that Porrizzo only fed her about half the story. As soon as they can schedule a meeting between Montero, Porrizzo and Chuck, they are going to do a complete review on this case. Believe me, Chuck is going to get your side of the story heard.”

  “Any time frame?”

  Gary said, “No. I gather from Chuck that Porrizzo is dragging his feet. I think the AG wants this to be a done deal before Chuck can get his hearing. He will have less to spin in the press if it is already a finished work.”

  “You mean after he has Harpo killed?”

  “Yes,” Gary said. “It is always easier to ask for
forgiveness than get permission. He let his wheels drop into this deep rut and he doesn’t have any way to get out until he gets to the end of this road. But, Chuck is not going to let him dodge this question that long, plus Montero is itchin’ to get back to Montgomery. I think she is ready to put this all behind her. I think it is going to flesh out by tomorrow night.”

  “Good. That is longer than I want, but less time than I expected.”

  Gary said, “Oh, and I have a couple of other messages for you. First, your boss at the zoo called Chuck. He didn’t want to know where you are either, but he said not to worry about anything. They are running the ape house okay and will get by until you get back. He said he has staff from all over the zoo volunteering for unpaid overtime to keep things going until you get back. He said to stay with Harpo and keep him safe until they get a judicial stay of execution. The lawyer that the zoo keeps on retainer is in with Chuck now.”

  “I should call him and report in-”

  “No,” Gary interrupted. “You should listen to your lawyer, your boss and me. Stay hidden and stay safe. Keep your contacts to a minimum. Public opinion is swinging Harpo’s way, but there are still outstanding warrants.”

  “You said you had other messages?

  Gary said, “Second message is from some guy at the zoo, a Major Chestnut. He sends his apologies. He said this was all his fault and he will turn in his resignation when you get back safe.”

  Carl replied, “Chestnut is a good man. He shouldn’t have to quit over this. Tell him I said so if you talk to him.”

  Gary said, “He wanted to let you know he got a couple from his staff assigned to the hunt for you and Harpo. They will do everything they can to keep you both safe, but they won’t deliberately hinder the police.”

  “I would expect nothing less. I know the major would be after me himself if he didn’t have other responsibilities at the zoo,” Carl said. “That it?”

  Gary hesitated, “You know, I told you I wasn’t going to talk about her anymore until you asked her out, but the word is that when Teri could finally speak, she asked about you.”

  “Me?”

  “Yeah, her first thought was not how bad she was hurt, but she wanted to make sure you were okay. If you don’t ask that woman out, then I will,” Gary said. “That is all for now. I’ll call you on this number if I get more intel. Scopes out.”

  The phone call ended without Gary saying goodbye.

  Carl thought about making a call to Rooster, but he decided against it. Just as he began to wonder about Smithson, the man rounded the corner of the building. He wrestled a box overflowing with bananas, apples, pears and oranges.

  Smithson handed the box to Carl. “I guess you should be the one to hand these to your ape.”

  “Thanks,” Carl said sincerely. “This is going to be a big help. He was starting to get restless.” He looked over at Harpo. The ape was bobbing his head in time to the hip-hop music on the radio. The old ball cap on his head had slid sideways. “This should get him settled down. With a full stomach he will nap shortly.”

  Smithson said, “I got a couple of calls out to some of my volunteers. We should be ready to move in about ten minutes or so. Will he be done eating by then or do you think he will get car sick if he tries to eat and ride?”

  Carl said, “Car sick? I doubt it. I have seen him eat while hanging by his toes from a tree limb. He swung back and forth, grabbing fruit from a pile on the ground.”

  Carl took the box, opening the truck’s driver’ side door, he slid the box onto the middle of the bench seat.

  Harpo huffed, grabbed a handful of bananas, and tore into them. He dropped the peels at his feet.

  Carl grabbed a box of meat sticks from the box. Harpo frowned. Carl dumped the box, peeling the plastic from the sticks, he tossed them back in the box. Harpo continued eating and listening to the radio.

  Carl shoved the empty plastic wrappers behind the truck seat rather then let them fall to the ground and blow away. He made a mental note to clean the truck before he gave it back to Rooster.

  As soon as Carl finished peeling the meat sticks, he eased the truck door shut and walked the short distance back to Smithson. “Are you going to ride the in back of my truck? I can’t put Harpo back there and I don’t think you should drive-”

  “No,” Smithson interrupted. “I have a bunch of volunteers on standby around town. I pulled them off the diversion. They are going to run interference for us between here and my place. I will catch a ride with one of them.”

  “What kind of diversion?” Carl asked. “I hope that no one was doing anything to get themselves hurt or in trouble.”

  “No reports of problems so far,” Smithson said. He began digging in his pockets. “Oh, I have your change. It’s not much.”

  Carl waved a hand, “Forget it, you can keep the change. I am going to owe you much more by the time this is over and done. A box of fruit is the least of the expenses I have incurred today.”

  “Are you sure?” Smithson said. “This place isn’t like your regular farmer’s market. They don’t sell bananas at a dollar pound, but more like a dollar each.”

  “Not to worry,” Carl said. “Harpo is worth it. We just have to get him to your place before you realize how much he is going to eat every day.”

  Smithson said, “Here comes my ride.”

  A blue pickup slid into the lot behind the Gas N’ Go. It scattered gravel all over and dust flew everywhere as it came to a quick stop. Carl watched an attractive woman about his age jump from the front seat and race around to the passenger side. She grabbed her passenger by the throat, yanking the redhead out of the truck, she unceremoniously tossed her into the back.

  Carl almost interrupted seeing the brutal act until he realized it was a storefront mannequin. He looked over at Smithson.

  The man said, “Real redheads are harder to come by in this part of Alabama than blue pickups.”

  The woman walked up to the pair. Carl noticed she wore an immaculate dress, her hair was in perfect order and there were no smudges in her make up. She looked uncommonly well attired for this part of Alabama where blue jeans and t-shirts were the normal dress for both sexes. She held her head high, as if she were supremely confident in who and what she was, but Carl could sense some apprehension on her part.

  She leaned in and kissed Smithson on the cheek. “All okay, Boss. Not even a ticket to show for the time spent.” She looked at Carl. “Hello, Carl.”

  Carl knitted his brow. Then it hit him. “Louise! How did you…what…I mean…” Carl quit trying to speak and grabbed her in a massive embrace.

  It took a second, but Louise began to hug him back.

  Carl grabbed her shoulders and pulled back to look at her face to face.

  “I’m sorry,” they both said in unison. “No. Me!”

  Carl hugged her again. “I am sorry, Louise. It was my fault. I was young and stupid. Forgive me, please?”

  Louise wanted to wipe the tears from her eyes, but she did not want to let Carl go to do it. “Why should you apologize? It was my fault. I am sorry. I treated you-”

  “No. You treated me like a king,” Carl interrupted. “You have nothing to apologize for. I should never have let you get away.”

  Smithson cleared his throat, “Um, I take it you two have met?”

  Louise laughed, finally pulling away to wipe the tears from her eyes. “Old, old acquaintances.”

  Carl said, “No. I am that old, but you look as young as ever.”

  Louise put a hand on Carl’s chest and gave him a small push backward, clearing the space between them. “You must remember to tell that to my husband, Phil.”

  Carl said, “I will. I swear. I am sure he knows how lucky he is. If he doesn’t, I will make sure he knows. I would really like to meet him.”

  Smithson said, “I hate to break this up, but let’s get Harpo safe and then we can talk about Carl meeting Phil and that football team you call children.”

  “Football t
eam?” Carl asked.

  Louise shook her head and said, “Old news. We are down to only a baseball team at home. The two oldest have flown the nest. However, Cloyd is right. We need to get moving.”

  Smithson said, “We will go first. You follow. Stay back, but keep us in sight. We are going to try for a back road to my place. We are going to be running interference. You might not be seen if we are spotted and stopped by the cops.

  He grabbed the red wig off the mannequin in the back of Louise’s pick up and he settled it on his head. He gave his head a shake, trying for a flip to get the hair out of his eyes. He adopted a model’s pose.

  “How do I look?” he asked.

  “Um, sexy?” Carl said.

  Louise said, “Not hardly sexy. More like a homeless drag queen the day before laundry night.”

  Smithson said, “Perfect. That was what I was going for.” He poked Carl in the chest with a broad finger. “Remember, Dr. Marks, give us space, but try not to loose sight of us. When we get close I will jump in the back of your truck and guide you in the rest of the way.”

  Carl did not say anything. He nodded and climbed back into the driver’s seat of Rooster’s truck. He followed the other truck around the side of the Gas N’ Go and waited. And he waited some more. He wondered why they had not moved when he saw another blue pick up pass by heading east. The driver waved, so did the redheaded passenger. He waited another thirty seconds and saw another blue pickup with a redheaded passenger pass by heading east.

  Louise pulled out after a few seconds and followed the other two trucks.

  Carl eased forward until he could see the full length of the road ahead. Another blue pickup eased between Louise and the truck ahead of her. She slowed down, opening the gap between trucks.

  He looked at Harpo. The ape had worked his way to the center of an orange. Carl eased the truck on the highway and joined the parade of blue pickups with redheaded passengers.

  SEVENTEEN

  HARPO belched loudly, leaning sideways he farted in Carl’s direction. He laughed at the look on the hairless-not-people’s face. He saw Carl push a button and the seeing-rock slid out of the way.