The Secret Story

by Cathy Hopkins

  My cheeks burned furiously. I remember I stuttered something stupid like, ‘Er, tall, er . . . hair. He was, um, too far away for me to get a close look.’

  And then Izzie piped up: ‘Just find us the best-looking boy at your school and that will be him.’ (By this time, I think I might have left my body and have been watching the whole scene from the ceiling.)

  Tony flashed me a cheeky smile. ‘Best-looking boy in the school? But . . . you’re looking at him.’

  I may have laughed a little too hysterically at this point. Best-looking boy in the school? I know you are – but do you know I know? Argh. Argh. Argh.

  I couldn’t wait to get out of there. What a totally awful outcome, the worst possible. What with Tony asking me to describe the boy and Nesta saying that she reckoned that the reason I hadn’t seen the boy was because he might have been doing some extra-curricular class like Tony often did (!!!!), I could not believe that they hadn’t twigged that Tony was my MC. It was soooo obvious to me. But it appeared that they hadn’t. And now I can never tell Izzie or Nesta and especially not him or he will think I am a sad weirdo. It will have to be my secret for ever.

  ‘So what do you think of Lucy and Izzie?’ asked Nesta when we got on the bus to go home.

  ‘Sweet,’ I told her.

  ‘Both of them?’

  ‘Which is which again?’

  ‘Lucy is the blonde one.’

  ‘Yeah. She’s a sweet kid. I liked the way she blushed. I like girls who blush. It’s cute.’

  ‘Izzie is the taller one. She’s got beautiful eyes, hasn’t she?’

  I laughed. ‘Has she now? Can’t say I noticed. Nesta, don’t even start. Your mates are way too young for me.’ Nesta had done this before – when we lived down in Bristol. She was always bringing her friends home from her school who then got a crush on me and she’d get mad at me if I didn’t fancy them.

  ‘I wasn’t starting anything like that, you dopehead. In fact, if you showed any interest in either Izzie or Lucy, I’d have to kill you. I know what you’re like and I don’t want to be held responsible for romantic let-downs.’

  ‘No chance, Nesta. Way too young for me. I like girls with a bit of experience.’

  ‘Good, because I want them to like me and I don’t want you messing things up by playing with their heads or their hearts.’

  ‘As if. But what do you mean you want them to like you? They’re your mates, aren’t they? They have to like you. That’s the rules. Mates like you.’

  ‘They’re new mates,’ said Nesta. ‘Still early days and I’m not sure that Lucy likes me at all. I think Izzie does but Lucy can be a bit aloof some days and I don’t know what’s going on in her head.’

  ‘She’s the blonde one, yeah?’

  Nesta nodded. ‘Yeah. Like, I’ve been round her house and met her family, she’s got two brothers and we all had a laugh, but then sometimes she goes quiet and I catch her looking at me and . . . I don’t know what’s she’s thinking.’

  Tony squeezed my arm. ‘Been tough for you, hasn’t it, being the newbie?’

  ‘Ish.’ She shrugged, then grinned. ‘I’ll win them over.’

  ‘You always had so many mates round where we used to live,’ said Tony. ‘Must be hard starting again. It’s different with boys. They’re not as weird about friendships as girls. Like Rob. We were both newbies, new to the school at least, put on the same footie team. He’s a bit of a laugh, he’s got a brain so we became mates. End of story. Simple.’

  Nesta nodded. ‘I was the only new girl in our year last term. And yeah, it has been a challenge. Like everyone in our class started together in Year Seven, that’s two years they’ve had together so the friendships have been established. And it’s not that anyone’s been unfriendly, well . . . except for one girl who’s a right cow, Josie Riley.’

  ‘Why’s she a cow?’

  Nesta wrinkled her nose. ‘I bumped into her and her mates in the cloakroom when I first arrived and she put my books in the sink and turned on the taps. When I asked why she’d done that, she said, “Oh, it’s an initiation for all new girls,” except we both knew that I was the only new girl.’

  ‘She’s probably jealous, Nesta. You’re great-looking and sometimes girls can’t handle that. She’s threatened.’

  ‘Maybe. She was mean to me when I went to the movies with Iz and Lucy – trying to humiliate us because we couldn’t get in. Then some boy she was after made a beeline for me. She didn’t like it. She told all of us to stick to Disney – she even said in a loud voice while looking at Lucy, “Anyone can see the midget’s underage”.’

  ‘Ouch,’ I said.

  ‘Yeah. OK, so Lucy looks young but Josie didn’t need to say that in front of everyone. She really annoyed me.’

  ‘Sounds to me like she’s definitely jealous of all of you. Don’t let her get to you.’

  ‘I won’t, but girls like her make me realise how important it is to have the right mates. Mates who are on my side, who will stick up for me and me for them. Izzie and Lucy stood out straight away as solid as well as fun. I really want them to be my mates.’

  ‘No one else?’

  ‘There’s a girl called TJ who seems OK but she only hangs out with her mate. Izzie put out the hand to me, if you know what I mean – the hand of friendship. Izzie’s really interesting. A bit mad, bit wacky, but I like that. She’s into new age stuff like crystals and aromatherapy, I think she even does a bit of witchcraft.’

  ‘What’s Lucy like?’

  ‘Lucy? Hmm. She might be small but she’s got great style, like she knows how to put an outfit together. And she’s funny but . . . solid too. Like you know some girls can be like hyper or giddy, the kind who scream at the slightest thing —’

  ‘Tell me about it,’ I said when, as if on cue, a bunch of girls behind us starting screaming with laughter.

  ‘Or bitchy. Some girls can be so bitchy, but Lucy’s not like that. She’s, yeah, solid but, as I say, not sure she likes me.’

  Tony put his hand on mine. ‘Who could resist the Nesta Williams charm? She’ll come round when she gets to know you better. Invite them over, put out the hand of friendship to her too. It’s got to be a two-way thing. In fact, I bet she’s a little intimidated. You can be scary, you know.’

  ‘Me? You think?’

  ‘Yeah. You’re stunning, you’re confident —’

  ‘But I’m not. Not all the time. I just know how to act confident.’

  ‘Well, Lucy doesn’t know that. Show her your more vulnerable side.’

  ‘I guess I could invite her over. Her mum has said that she can decorate her bedroom so I could invite her to come and talk décor.’

  ‘Good plan.’

  ‘And you’re not going to be home when they come over to ruin it for me?’

  ‘I am so not interested, except that if you want these girls as your friends, then I hope it works out. They seemed nice. But I will go out if it makes you feel better.’

  ‘Good. Because the last thing I need is one of them falling for you and getting her heart broken.’

  Lucy’s Diary

  25th September

  Tony is the One.

  Nicky? Annabelle? Janie? Jess? Marie? Bea? Or Tia?

  Friday night party at Des’s house. Who to take? So many girls, so little time . . .

  ‘Nesta’s invited us over. You up for it?’ asked Izzie. ‘Her mum has loads of interior design mags so we can think about how to do your bedroom. Lucy, you there?’

  Ohmigod, oh Lordie, oh heckity doodah, I thought. Nesta’s. That means Tony might be there. What shall I wear? Will he be in? How can I make sure I don’t blush this time but say something cool and interesting and witty?

  ‘Lucy?’

  ‘Yeah.Yes,’ I replied. ‘I’m here. Um, yeah. I’m up for it. Don’t think I’m doing anything.’

  I got home around four and could hear that Nesta had some of her mates over. Oops. She’d said that she didn’t want me here when they came but
I hadn’t realised that it was that night. Never mind, too late now I was home. What were their names again? I asked myself. Lizzie and, drat, can’t remember the name of the small one who blushed. Shame, because girls like it when you remember their name and I like to impress. Ah well. I’ll have to bluff it.

  The voices were coming from . . . hey, blooming cheek! It sounded as if they were in my room. I made my way down the corridor and burst in. It was so funny because the little one was in there with Nesta and she went bright red, like she’d been caught doing something really naughty.

  ‘Just giving Lucy the tour,’ said Nesta.

  Lucy. Ah, that was her name.

  ‘Only too happy to come home and find pretty girls in my bedroom. Hi, Lucy.’

  She went even redder than before. Result! ‘Hi,’ she replied.

  ‘So how’s the search for the mystery man going?’ I asked. ‘The one with the hair?’

  She shuffled about awkwardly and looked at the carpet. ‘Er . . . haven’t seen him again,’ she muttered. She really was painfully shy.

  ‘We need a plan,’ said Nesta. ‘To get Lucy noticed. You like girls, Tone. What do you look for? What do you find attractive?’

  I decided to give Lucy the benefit of some good advice. She was sweet. I’d like to help her find her mystery boy. I gave her my full attention and most charming smile. ‘I like girls who are funny. Who make me laugh. And girls who know who they are, what they want and where they’re going. Confidence, I suppose. It’s a real turn on for boys.’

  For some reason, Lucy looked horrified. I even thought for a second that she was going to cry.

  ‘Um, yes . . . er . . . fine,’ she stuttered. ‘Where’s the loo, Nesta?’

  Lucy

  26th September

  A total nightmare of a day. I asked Izzie if she fancied Tony. She says she doesn’t. Said he’s too pretty. Then she asked me if I did. No way, I said, lying.

  I went to Nesta’s for the first time. She lives in Highgate in a fab garden flat which is so glam with lots of Eastern rugs and rich colours. Fabbie dabbie. Nesta gave me the tour while Izzie sat and read magazines. Tony arrived back and found Nesta and me in his bedroom. It felt weird being in his room looking at his private things and seeing where he sleeps. I was sooooo embarrassed that he would think I was sneaking about in his stuff like some saddo.

  He must never ever ever ever find out that he is my MC, otherwise he will think I am desperate and a stalker, but I wonder if it’s too late and he already knows – like, he asked if I had seen the mystery boy again and then he gave me a knowing look. Then Nesta asked what Tony wanted in a girl and he blabbed on about confidence and girls that make him laugh, all the time with this big grin on his face and a twinkle in his eye. I swear he was mocking me.

  He went out again and then Nesta and Izzie spent the rest of the afternoon going on about how I could get noticed by boys. All I wanted to do was get home and hide under my duvet. I am going to give up on boys. I will never get one. I will never get one like Tony. I think he thinks I am stupid. I am a sad failure, plus I’m not even five foot tall and I have no boobs. Life stinks.

  Nesta’s got her mates over again, I thought as I let myself in and heard girls’ voices. It was a week since I’d caught Nesta giving Lucy the tour of my room, and, happily for Nesta, she did seem to be getting well in with them. I was glad for her.

  I closed the front door quietly and tiptoed over to the door to listen in on their conversation. I wasn’t going to go in because I’d promised Nesta that I wouldn’t get in the way of her making friends with them. They were talking about snogging. Irresistible not to stay and listen. One of them was talking about snogging a boy who tasted of onions. She hadn’t been impressed. Yeah. Quite right. Big mistake. On my list of rules for snogging, fresh breath is a big must. Nesta admitted to snogging seven boys. Wow. Way to go, sis, I thought. I knew she’d kissed at least four. I made a mental note to get her to confess all another time.

  ‘How many have you snogged?’ I heard Nesta ask. I peeked through the crack of the door to see who she’d asked. She had directed the question to the small one. Lucy. Sweet. She went red.

  ‘None,’ she said. ‘I’ve never seen anyone I like.’

  ‘Except mystery boy,’ said the dark-haired girl, Izzie. ‘Don’t forget him.’

  Hmm, I wonder who this mystery boy is? I asked myself. I’m bound to know him if he’s at our school. Izzie had just begun talking about the boys she’d snogged when I had an idea. I opened the door and stood there, hands on hips, tadah! There was that look of horror on Lucy’s face again, like when I caught her in my bedroom. I went over and flopped down next to her.

  ‘The art of kissing,’ I said. ‘My speciality.’

  ‘You wish,’ said Nesta. ‘You know nothing.’

  ‘I know more than you think, actually,’ I said, turning to Lucy. ‘Want me to show you how it’s done?’

  ‘Tony,’ said Nesta in a warning tone.

  Little Lucy turned from pink to red to purple. I wished I had a camera.

  ‘Leave her alone,’ said Izzie.

  ‘I was just offering to show her how it’s done,’ I said. ‘Then she’ll have something to measure it against in the future.’

  Lucy giggled.

  Yeah, she’ll know what it’s like to be kissed by a bigheaded show-off —’ Nesta started. ‘Go away, Tony.’

  I turned to Izzie. You want to try?’ I asked.

  ‘In your dreams,’ she replied. Cheek. She’s not my type, so why did I bother wasting the charm on her? Save it for the ones who respond, I thought as I turned back to the blusher by my side.

  ‘Lucy Do you want to learn from the Master?’ I asked.

  ‘The Master?’ Nesta guffawed.

  OK, I’ll show you girls, I thought. I turned to look at Lucy who looked like she had frozen. I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, tilted her face up to look at mine. Slowly, slowly does it. No rush, and actually she has a nice face, elfin with pretty blue eyes and a sweet mouth, like a pink flower, and she didn’t seem to be objecting now that we were close – in fact, I could see her leaning towards me slightly. She smelled nice too, clean, of apples or some other fruit. I looked deep into her eyes. She looked back and for a second there was a flutter of chemistry. All the better . . .

  ‘Tony!’ I heard Nesta say again behind me.

  Ha ha. Too late. ‘Close your eyes,’ I whispered to Lucy. She did as she was told. And then I kissed her. Slow, tender and, actually, nice. Better than I expected and . . . yeah, no doubt about it, she was kissing me back. Very nice. The Master rides again.

  Suddenly a hand grabbed the back of my shirt.

  ‘In the kitchen. Now!’ Nesta demanded.

  I laughed and got up to follow her. Before I went in, I turned back to Lucy. She looked slightly dazed but happy enough, so what was Nesta’s problem? I shrugged and gave Lucy a ‘What can I do?’ look. She shrugged and grinned back. I was beginning to like her. She clearly had a naughty streak.

  Hah! I thought as Nesta hauled me into the kitchen. I don’t care what you have to say. Your mate fancies me. I can tell. And I bet that now she’s snogged me, that mystery boy she likes will take second place in line behind MOI.

  Lucy’s diary

  3rd October

  Arrrrrghhhhhhhhh! What is going on? How can life be so good and then so totally crapola? All in the same day? Same hour?

  I had my first snog with Tony. OK, so he was messing about, pretending that he was the Master Snogger and offering to show how it was done but when we kissed, it was amazing. I know he felt it too. He must have done. Izzie is always saying that chemistry is a two-way thing and there was definitely some heat when we kissed, hot hot hot, and when he looked into my eyes, oo er, it was meltdown. But then afterwards, I overheard Nesta talking to him in the hall and telling him to stay away from me. Stay away from me? My heart sank. Why did she say that? That’s the last thing that I wanted. I really didn’t want him to stay away
from me. I was happy for him to kiss me and hoped that he would do it again. And again. Very soon. There was only one thing for it. I decided that as soon as Nesta, Izzie and I were on our own, I’d tell them that Tony was my Mystery Contestant and that I wanted to be kissed by him.

  Yeah right, ha ha Lucy Lovering, just shows what a fool you are. How could I have been so stupid as to think that I stood a chance with him? One kiss and I thought we’d be an item. I have been so naive. Any stupid hopes I had were soon dashed because a girl showed up. Not only was she older than me, and taller than me, she was one of the prettiest girls I have ever seen, curvy with long auburn hair. She saw me in the hall when she came in. She kissed Tony then glared at me over his shoulder as if to say, ‘Keep away’. He turned and spotted me. I took a step back and he did a little shrug as the girl followed him down the hall into his bedroom.

  ‘Homework,’ he said with a cheeky grin before he opened the door and disappeared. I felt like someone had put a knife in me. I was so jealous thinking of their ‘homework’ and him kissing her instead of me. It really hurt.

  Nesta said that she is his new girlfriend. Jessica. New, old, I don’t care. Who am I kidding? I do care. I care more than anything. Later Nesta and Izzie started talking about Tony and how no one in their right mind would fancy him because he’s so full of himself Seems like I will never be able to reveal that Tony is the One, my mystery boy, the love of my life.

  ‘So is it serious with Jess, then?’ asked Rob. We were in the Sixth Form recreation room sharing a cheese and tomato sarnie on our lunch break.

  I shrugged. ‘Dunno. You know me, mate. I’ll see how it goes. How you getting on with Hannah?’

  ‘OK . . .’

  ‘Snogged her yet?’