Laughing Fate

by Roxy Emilia Means

  Puck fancied that the glass held an alternative dimension where her reflection had a life of its own. She stared into that world and imagined her surroundings fading away as the Puck in the window shimmered with new found life. Puck stared transfixed as her reflection worked out a kink in her neck. She wished briefly that she had some popcorn, but then turned her full attention on the other Puck.

  “I won’t marry you Potter for you see you are a stupid, stupid man.” The other Puck said a matter of fact tone. She still shimmered slightly, but Potter didn’t seem to notice. Probably because he was so dumb, the watcher thought.

  Potter continued staring into the window, watching a mix of emotions swirl in his eyes. He looked hurt, as if his heart was breaking. Puck’s hand inched out to grab his hand, as if it had a mind of its own. The watcher briefly mused if there was an alternative dimension where Puck’s hand DID have a life of its own, but tossed that thought aside once Puck pulled her hand back and tightly fisted it in her lap.

  Puck winced at the anguished wailing coming from her inner sanctuary. Her inner sex goddess did NOT like her decision. She didn’t seem to mind Potter’s half assed proposal, because she had been doing a tiny victory dance from the moment he popped the ‘you wanna’ until Puck had shot him down. Now her sex goddess was throwing little imaginary china against the walls and screaming in Spanish.

  Potter obviously decided to let anger replace his pain, because he started lashing out at her in a very brutish manner.

  “Why not?”

  His warm eyes had gone cold and harsh, his voice rough.

  “Because I don’t believe in love anymore.”

  “So all those times that you said you loved me- they were just a lie?”

  Both of the Pucks paused. That was interesting. Could that be true? Did she believe in love after all? Huh. Well, Potter didn’t need to know that.

  “Yup and you were just stupid enough to believe me. Hey, I know! How ‘bout we break up? You wanna?” The Pucks snickered. That was great!

  “You don’t mean it. I don’t believe you.”

  “I assure you I do.”

  Puck walked away from Potter, putting an extra swing to her hips. That would show him! Time sped up and the strong, independent Puck stood on the beach contemplating her decision. Had she done the right thing?

  “Puck?”

  The watcher wrinkled her nose and looked around in the dark. That was Potter’s voice was he here? Would he suddenly become smarter?

  “Puck!”

  Oh yes! There he was! The watcher beamed as Potter came running towards Puck. He looked handsome a true hero with his love for Puck shining in his eyes. The watcher sighed at the romantic image and slapped at the annoying bug buzzing around her. She turned her attention back to Potter, who resembled a young Indiana Jones, in anticipation.

  He would haul Puck into his arms and kiss her passionately. Then he would say something great, something memorable and full of depth and wisdom. It would be perfect, letting Puck know how much he loved her and that he would never let her go again. Something like…

  “Puck! What, are you ignoring me now? Real mature! Turn your pretty little head around and talk to me! What is your problem? God! I can’t believe I put up with you!”

  The watcher frowned. That is NOT the perfect something that Potter would say. He would say something like… “I can’t believe I almost lost you! You are everything that I need in this world. You are my life and light. Without you nothing makes since- the world is just dark and cold. Please, Puck, will you marry me and let me love you for the rest of my life?” No, that wouldn’t do. It was too sappy. She watched as Puck stared at him in scorn, her eyes narrowing in skepticism and her eyebrow rising in challenge.

  Maybe he’d say something like…

  “Puck! Did you hear what I just said to you?” Potter said belligerently. The watcher frowned in confusion. That was Potter’s voice, but the Potter in this dimension had fallen to his knees to beg Puck to return his love. The buzzing was back, so the watcher swatted at it again.

  “Puck, I swear to God you are the most exasperating person in the world. Stop glaring out the window and talk to me.”

  All of a sudden the watcher was being shook about as if by the violent storms surrounding the couple on the beach. She cried out as she was ripped from the dimension and hurled back into Potter’s dumb car. Puck turned around and glared at Potter. He was NOTHING like the other Potter.

  “What?! What was SO important that you just had to take me away from the beautifully romantic world where you actually knew how to propose?!”

  ****

  Potter eyed Puck, wondering if she’d just lost her marbles. For the past ten minutes she had been staring out the window totally ignoring him. A few times she had actually swatted at him, but never lifted her pretty little nose off the glass window. It wasn’t until he’d shook her that she responded to him.

  “Where were you just now? You were zoning out for the last ten minutes!”

  “Oh, that. I was just imagining what it would be like if I broke up with you. I really should you know. That was the lamest proposal in the history of mankind!”

  Potter rubbed his chest and winced. “Words hurt you know.”

  “Don’t be such a pansy,” Puck said dismissively. She waved a hand at him and continued, “Luckily for you, I don’t have the patience to be the victim for long. So here’s what we are going to do. You are never going to mention today again and I will pretend it never happened. But I swear to god, if you ever ask me ‘do I wanna’ again I will punch you in the nose.”

  Potter rolled his eyes and said sarcastically, “Aye captain my captain. Whatever you say, my lord.” Potter turned his head and then ignored HER for a change. What the heck was so wrong with him asking her to marry him? He imagined a world where he could strangle Puck all he liked and never actually hurt her. A slow grin spread across his face as he lost himself in his own little world.

  ****

  Puck slammed Potter’s stupid car door on her way out and stalked up to her door. She saw Perri curled up on the couch with the phone cradled against her ear. She was talking excitedly to one of her friends, completely oblivious to Puck’s mood. Puck scowled and threw one of her sandals at Perri’s head.

  “What?” she cried as she jerked from surprise and dropped her phone. Perri glared at Puck and put the phone back to her ears.

  “No, that was just my psycho sister.”

  Perri didn’t seem to have to explain that remark, Puck noticed slightly miffed. One would think that Perri would have to at the least say, “Oh no, my sister hasn’t gone crazy and decided to hack off my arms. I guess I was just over exaggerating a little…No, she’s just a little upset right now and so she threw a sandal at me. That’s all….Yes, I know that calling her psycho was probably a bit much. I guess I should have said something like my quirky sister threw a sandal at me, sorry if I yelled in your ear…yes I know that I yell like a little pansy girl who is afraid of chickens. Oh by the way, did you know I wet the bed almost every night as a kid? Yup, I did. I was quite the annoying little brat.”

  Puck grinned and climbed over to Perri, ready to wrestle the phone away from her. Such an excellent speech should not be wasted. If Perri wouldn’t say it, then Puck would just have to. Perri seemed to anticipate the forthcoming embarrassment because she quickly said good bye and hung up.

  “What?” Perri asked again, hiding the phone behind her.

  “Potter proposed.”

  “WHAT?” she shrieked and threw her arms around Puck. She was talking in the official language of hamsters now, all high pitched and squeaky. Puck gathered from it all that Perri meant to say congratulations.

  Puck gently pushed her little sister away and took a moment to stare at her gently rounded stomach. She wasn’t that far along, so there wasn’t much of a bump, but Puck still enjoyed picturing her little niece or nephew kicking back in there. She looked up to see Perri staring at her quizzically, s
o she mentally kicked her brain back into the subject at hand.

  “I meant to say that Potter kind of proposed. He attempted it but bungled it so bad that I refuse to call that pathetic attempt a proposal. He asked me if ‘I wanna’. Can you imagine it? And then he got all huffy with me when I told him that that was NOT a proposal.”

  Perri closed her eyes tightly and rubbed her forehead as if she had a headache. “Please tell me you were gentle with Potter.”

  “What do you mean? I’m always gentle!”

  “God, Puck. You mean you just shot him down and laughed in his face after he proposed to you?!”

  “Hey! I never said I laughed at him! I was too busy yelling at him. Then I just sort of ignored him. He is such an idiot! I can’t believe you are on his side!”

  “I’m not on his side! I’m on yours! You love him, don’t try to deny it! Puck’s brand new cell phone started belting out a song by the Gorillaz. The maniacal laughter filled the room as Puck grabbed her phone and flipped it open. Saved by the bell, she thought happily. She glanced at Perri who was glaring at her, with her hands on her hips. Great, Perri was going to lecture her once she was done with her phone.

  Puck bent her head over her phone and felt her heart leap when she saw who the text was from. Potter must have realized how stupid he was and had decided to declare his undying love for her. Oh! And of course admit that he was a big stupid oaf who didn’t know how to do anything right.

  “U dented my car door”

  Puck glared at her phone. What kind of text was that? And she had NOT dented his stupid car and if she had, how would he notice? His car was a piece of junk!

  “I did not”

  “Don’t b immature. U dented my car”

  “Well what the heck do u want me 2 do about it?!”

  “Admit u dented it!” Puck was still glaring at her phone when it went off again. “And say sorry!”

  Puck threw her phone on the floor and stood up to kick it. Stupid Potter! She was standing over the phone swearing when her phone went off again. She scowled and sat down so she could read the message.

  “…and come to dinner w/ me”

  That was slightly better, Puck mused, but not nearly good enough. He had yet to say sorry.

  “Sorry.”

  Wow. That was freaky; it was like he could read her mind.

  “I can 2 read yur mind.”

  Puck’s jaw dropped and she looked around the room. Potter couldn’t really read minds, it was just coincidence.

  “I’m not in yur room.”

  “What the heck?!” Puck yelled as she jumped up. She glanced all around her, ignoring Perri who was staring at Puck as if she’d lost her mind. She wasn’t crazy. Potter had to be playing some kind of trick. Her eyes narrowed when she saw Potter standing in the shadows outside of her living room window, holding his sides in laughter.

  Puck ran outside and hit Potter in the ribs. “You idiot! I’m still mad at you! Playing a prank on me is not going to fix things!”

  “Fix what? I thought we were acting like nothing had happened?”

  Puck paused and cocked her head to the side. She replayed everything she’d said to Potter and yup, she had told him to forget all about it. Well shoot, she hated it when Potter was right, the jerk. She punched his chest again and glared at him.

  “Wipe that smug little grin off your face mister.”

  Potter wrapped his arms around Puck and inhaled her scent. He kept his nose buried in her hair, ignoring her faint struggles to be released. She soon relaxed in his arms and rested her head against his chest.

  “I like battling with you,” Puck mumbled against his chest.

  Potter sighed and lifted his head. “You are so weird but I’ll let you battle me if you must. But only if at the end of the night you let me hug you.”

  Puck pretended to consider his words before smiling up at him. “You are so gay.”

  “Ow. Words hurt!”

  “Pansy.”

  “Shut up and kiss me.”

  Puck buried her fingers in Potter’s hair and let Potter kiss the heck out of her. She moaned deep in her throat and purred with satisfaction when he deepened the kiss. She let her eyes fall closed and gave herself up entirely to the hazy lust filled world that Potter created just for the two of them. Every nerve ending in her body was on high alert, making her clothes itch on her skin. She really had to get out of her clothes, they were too constricting. She wanted Potter. She wanted his hands on her body, his warm calloused hands that were so gentle with her. Too gentle apparently, the moron wasn’t moving his hands from the back of her head. Didn’t he know how hot he was making her burn?

  Puck tugged on his hair and bit his lip. She pried her lips from his and glared up at him. “Kiss me!”

  “Uh…I was?” Potter said, his eyes looked as if they were full of fire and passion, his lips were yummy, and oh god, why wasn’t he kissing her? Instead the moron was staring at her in confusion. IDIOT!

  “KISS ME!” Puck growled and shoved him against a tree. He looked slightly surprised, but seemed game enough once Puck pressed her body against him and began kissing his neck. She grabbed his hands and placed them on her body. She felt as if she had a momentary slice of heaven when one of his warm hands stroked her breast. She purred and bit his shoulder lightly and smiled when she saw him shudder. She let her hands roam as well and laughed huskily when he jumped.

  Her laughter died however when he gently pushed her away and kept her away with two strong hands pushing against her shoulders. Puck stared up at him with big eyes, her breaths coming in soft pants. Why had he pushed her away? Didn’t he like kissing her?

  “Puck, listen to me babe-

  “Don’t call me baby,” Puck said huskily, her body still screaming for Potter’s touch. She tried to get close to Potter again, but his arms remained firm.

  “Puck, please just listen to me. We are going too fast here. You don’t want this.”

  “Yes I do,” she said sullenly, her bottom lip coming out in a picture perfect pout.

  “No, no you don’t. Puck we can’t do this right now. If we continue then we are going to have sex-

  “That’s ok!” Puck said eagerly, fighting against his hold. If she could just get close to Potter she could convince him that this was a VERY good idea.

  Potter groaned and scooped Puck up in his arms. She immediately began kissing him everywhere; frantic little kisses that threatened to make him loose control. Potter returned her kisses, but forced his hands to stay put in there safe zones. He climbed up the stairs, ignoring Perri who had been spying on them from the window, but was now just standing there with wide eyes watching him carry her sister upstairs.

  Puck was now nibbling on his ears, making sweat little mews of happiness, and allowing her hands to travel in some very unsafe zones. He was just barely holding onto his self control, which was a miracle considering Puck was doing everything in her power to blast it to tiny little bits. If she had been any other girl her pants would be off in seconds flat, probably right by that dang tree.

  Potter pushed open the door and carried Puck inside. He juggled her, so that he held her with one arm, and turned on the water.

  “Kinky,” she purred and claimed his mouth again.

  Potter sighed and returned her kiss, letting her feel how much he desired her. How could he not? She was a fiery sex goddess and his best friend. He nearly forgot his goal, but once the tub filled up, he gathered her up again and gave her one last soft kiss.

  “I love you, you know,” Potter said softly right before he dropped her in the water. She came up sputtering, her face a comical mix of surprise and anger.

  “What the heck? Do you know NOTHING about romance?!”

  Potter smiled down at his little warrior before saying, “I’m not sleeping with you until you decide to marry me. So I ask you again, you wanna?”

  “YOU BASTARD!”

  “I take that is a no?”

  “That’s a HELL NO! You idi
ot! I told you that we were forgetting all about your lame proposal and you go and do it again on the same day?! I was KISSING you!”

  “Let’s get one thing straight. We are not forgetting any of my proposals. I love you and I want to marry you. So I am going to keep on asking if ‘you wanna’ until you say that you do. And until my ring is on your finger and your last name is Sanders- we are not having sex.”

  “If we ever do get married I’m not going to be the one changing their last name,” Puck grumbled sulkily.

  Potter grinned and shook his head. “We’ll talk about it later. Good night.”

  “Oh go away! I didn’t want to sleep with you any how!”

  Puck fumed as she pulled herself out of the cold water. Well, she definitely wasn’t hot anymore, that was for sure. Stupid Potter.

  “He was just respecting your wishes,” her conscience reminded her. What a nerd.

  “It’s so romantic,” crooned her inner Sex Goddess. “He put aside his own desires and needs to take care of yours.”

  “If he was doing THAT then I’d be naked right now.”

  “You know you didn’t really want to sleep with him. You would hate yourself in the morning if you did. He gave you what you REALLY wanted,” her drill sergeant piped in.

  Puck growled at her drill sergeant and imagined squashing both him and the other annoying inhabitants of her inner sanctuary. Stupid personifications!

  “Idiot! When are you going to know your own heart and tell him you’ll marry him?”

  “Shut up!” Puck yelled in fury as she yanked off her wet clothes.

  Down below stairs, Potter faced an angry little sister. She had obviously gotten over her surprise and now she was clearly very angry.

  “What did you do to my sister?! You can’t treat her like that!”

  “You don’t even know what I did!”

  “You took advantage of her!”

  “Perri, I know you were spying on us outside. You saw Puck! She attacked me!”