Drunk on You

by Teri Anne Stanley

  His phone rang, and he almost ignored it, planning to wait until the next rest area to listen to the voicemail, but something made him pick up.

  “Justinory, it’s Lorena McGrath.”

  Oh, no. “Hey, Lorena,” he said. “Has something happened to Allie?”

  “You could say that.”

  Justin’s heart stopped.

  “She called our lawyers today. Told them to sell her shares of Blue Mountain stock. Said something about not wanting you to feel obligated to her for any promises made on anyone else’s behalf.”

  “Lorena, I have to go,” he said.

  He threw the phone onto the other seat and hit the gas, skipping the next two rest areas.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Arlington National Cemetery on a late April day was a different animal from that cold, rainy February when David had been interred. There were trees blooming all over the place…were those cherry trees? Or was that only on the mall in DC? There were also people everywhere. School groups, tour buses filled the parking area to overflowing. It was such a lively place.

  Allie checked the map, making sure she could find David’s grave. She hadn’t thought she would ever forget the location, but once she set off along the path toward the quadrant where he was buried, she was completely overwhelmed at the sheer number and sameness of the rows and rows of markers. It was a place to appreciate how damned lucky she was, how safe, protected by the sacrifices of so many.

  The sight of all those tombstones made her family’s loss both easier and worse. So many other families torn apart by this war and all of the others that had come before—and would no doubt come after. There was comfort in knowing she wasn’t alone in her pain, but also frustrated that the world couldn’t seem to turn without conflict.

  She found the section and walked along the row of markers, taking her time to read the punctuation of other lives, the births and deaths of all the other warriors and their family members—because their contribution to the military couldn’t be overlooked. Even though she felt like she didn’t do anything but sit at home while David and Justin put their boots on and fought, she supposed that her emails and care packages counted for something. She only wished the pain she felt could be quantified and redirected into the hearts of the people who’d killed her brother.

  Finally she reached the white stone that said David Sean McGrath, Sgt US Marine Corps.

  She sank to her knees to the right of the headstone and thought about her brother. She talked to him for a while, about going to the alumni fund-raiser, told him about Grandpa Morgan trying to twerk at his anniversary party. She figured David would get a kick out of that.

  Then she talked about Rainbow Dog. She pulled a shot glass from her bag and set it in the grass in front of her.

  “This is the last one I have,” she said. “I don’t know if I’m going to make any more or not. I planned to, but…” Then she told him all about the fire, about lending half of the insurance money—that she was going to use for Rainbow Dog—to Justin for his half of the deductible.

  “Remember how I had that crush on him way back when? Well, it’s not a crush anymore. I’m full tilt in love with him. And I think part of me hoped he’d have so much fun helping me with Rainbow Dog that he’d change his mind about leaving Blue Mountain. That maybe he’d fall in love with me, too, and want to stay. But then I got all tangled up in who believes in me and who doesn’t—like it really matters. Because you know what? I believe in me. I can make Rainbow Dog happen. You told me you liked the idea.”

  She frowned. “Not sure what that whole business was about telling Justin he had to come home and look out for me—”

  “I think he really wanted you to look out for me, but he knew my ego wouldn’t understand that.”

  Allie jumped up and whirled, finding Justin, leaning on a crutch.

  “Why are you here?” It was probably a rude question, but unless something was terribly wrong, she didn’t understand why he’d come here, where he was so determined not to be.

  He held out his hand to show her the shot glass he carried. Just like the one she’d put down.

  Her gaze shot to his. He shrugged and ran a hand through his hair, biceps stretching the red USMC T-shirt he wore. And then she saw it. The watch. On his wrist. He was wearing David’s watch.

  He saw where she was looking and lowered his arm. “Can we walk?”

  They strolled, not touching, along the paved path. Then Justin spoke, stopping her in her tracks.

  “Dave died because he was going to get this watch for me to wear.”

  Allie’s sense of unreality expanded, and then she was focused on Justin, listening to every word, because she knew he’d never repeat this story.

  He tugged her hand to get her moving again. “I’m not going to be able to tell you about it if you’re staring at me.”

  When they were walking again, he said, “This was our good-luck watch. We took turns with it.” He laughed. “Actually, we made bets, and the winner got to wear it out on patrol—but basically, it alternated back and forth between us.

  “The last time, we’d bet on whether—God, I don’t even remember the details. Something about which new guy was going to piss off the LT first. But the outcome was in question. Anyway, I swore I won. He disagreed, but said he’d let me have it that time. We were heading out on a patrol and realized that we’d left the damned thing on my bunk. I was already all armored up and Dave wasn’t, so I convinced him to run back to get it.”

  They’d stopped again, but he didn’t seem to notice. He didn’t see that she was looking at him again, because he was gazing far away and into the past.

  “I was sitting there waiting, and there was an explosion. Some asshole insurgent with an RPG. As soon as it went off, I knew. Everyone else was yelling to take cover or heading out to find the fucker, but I was looking for Dave.

  “And there he was. Lying there in the middle of the street, holding the goddamned watch. His legs were—” He broke off then and looked at Allie. “It was bad. But he was still alive. He was conscious, and I told him it would be okay, that we were going to take care of him, and he just shoved this fucking watch at me and said, ‘Look out for Mom and Eve, and take care of Allie.’” Justin pinched at his eyes, then wiped the tears on his jeans. “I just kept telling him he was going to be fine, to shut the fuck up, but then he was just…gone.”

  Allie didn’t know what to say. She knew the basics, of course. The soldiers who’d come told her mother David had been killed in an attack, had died immediately of his injuries. Justin had confirmed that he’d been nearby, but that was all he’d ever said, until now.

  He looked at her then, his beautiful eyes full of pain. “I’m so sorry, Allie. I’m so sorry I didn’t go back for the fucking watch myself. I should have—”

  “What? Died instead?”

  He shrugged.

  She thought for a moment about what to say. Around the lump in her throat, she said, “I miss David with every cell in my body. I’ll miss him forever. But it happened. And we still have you. We don’t know what would have happened if you’d gone back. Maybe he’d have gone with you. Maybe…we can spend the rest of our lives on maybe. David was not a what-if kind of guy.”

  At that, Justin smiled. “That’s true.”

  When David made up his mind about something, he went for it. He didn’t look back or spend time considering the options.

  “I miss him, Allie. I just miss him so much.”

  Of course he did. They’d grown up together, gone to war together. Looking at Justin now, she realized she wasn’t the only one who’d lost a brother.

  “Thank you for telling me that,” she said.

  He nodded.

  She let go of his hand and put her arms around his waist, and he, miracle of miracles, returned the embrace. As a matter of fact, he held on to her for dear life. She felt his heartbeat, strong and honorable and true, and she knew that no matter what else happened, she was not going t
o stop loving him.

  “What changed?” she asked him. “Why did you put the watch on and come here today?”

  He shrugged. “This is probably setting a bad precedent, but you were right.”

  She grinned. “Well, duh, but about what, specifically?”

  “About not letting him go. I felt so responsible that it didn’t seem fair that he had to be dead and that I could get to have peace.”

  “Do you? Have peace?”

  He leaned over, breathed deeply. “When I’m with you, yeah.”

  “Really?” She pushed him away, disbelieving. “Peaceful” was the word she was least likely to use for their time together.

  “Well, usually,” he told her. “But what. The fuck. Do you think you’re doing, selling your Blue Mountain stock?”

  …

  “I want to make sure you can go out West.”

  Justin’s heart, which had been functioning fairly evenly, hiccuped.

  “I’m not going to be a smoke jumper.”

  A million emotions crossed Allie’s beautiful face before it settled on dismay. Not the response he was looking for. “You can’t stay here,” she told him.

  “Why not?”

  “Because you can’t. I can’t look at you for the rest of my life, knowing you gave up something you want to do, so that you could pay me back for a stupid accident I was as much responsible for as you. I can’t have you resenting me and marrying stupid buttface Merilee, and if you’d had the money, you would have lent it to me, and not expected—”

  “Shhh.” He cut her off with his fingers across her lips, wishing he could dip one inside, but figuring he’d get it bitten off just now.

  “I’m not going to be a smoke jumper because I want to stay at Blue Mountain and learn more about the business. And I’m not going to marry Merilee, because I was kind of hoping that you were my girlfriend.”

  “I’m your girlfriend?” She smiled behind his fingers, and he thought it might be safe to touch a fingertip to that lush bottom lip, which he did. She nipped it, but in a good way.

  He nodded.

  “And you want to stay at Blue Mountain? When did this happen?”

  He thought for a moment. “Somewhere between the hot tub at home and the bar at the hotel in Atlanta.”

  “So you’re going to work for your dad?”

  He nodded. “At least, I will until Brandon comes back from whatever deserted island he’s having his early midlife crisis on. Then, he says, he’d like me to become a corporate spy, if you’ll hire me.”

  At this, Allie threw her arms around Justin’s neck and laid a big fat kiss on his luscious lips. “I think you’re swell, Sergeant Morgan.”

  “You’re not too bad yourself.” He pulled her softness against him, hoping to be able to hold on to this feeling for the rest of his life.

  “Well, I’ll be damned. And this isn’t part of some stupid hero-promise-debt thing about David?”

  “It’s got nothing more to do with Dave than the fact that if he’d have told me you had a crush on me back in the day, I’d have been more sensitive to your feelings and not acted like such a horse’s ass.”

  She gasped, eyes widening. “You did not read that notebook.”

  “Babe, you kinda left it on the floor of the camper.”

  She covered her face. “I want to die of embarrassment.”

  “Please don’t do that. I have a lot more making up with you to do.”

  “How far’s the camper?”

  Epilogue

  Six weeks later

  Bathroom next to the office of Rainbow Dog Liquor Company, on the first level of a farmhouse across the road from Blue Mountain Bourbon.

  The knock on the door shattered Allie’s paralysis, and she hurriedly shoved everything back into the plastic bag.

  “Allie?” Eve called. “Are you okay? You’ve been in there forever. You’re never gonna believe who just pulled up.”

  Allie unlocked the door so Eve could come in, then pulled the curtain aside to peer out at the tent that had been erected for the grand opening party. She couldn’t see anyone other than Caleb and Sherry unloading snacks.

  Eve slid inside, and Allie tried to drop the drugstore bag behind the shower curtain into the bathtub that doubled as a filing cabinet for business records.

  “What’s that?”

  Damn.

  Allie’s hands shook as she reached back and retrieved the bag, but lifted it up when Eve reached for it. “You don’t want to touch that, there’s pee everywhere.”

  “What? Why is there—” Her eyes grew round. “Oh. My. God.”

  Allie dug through the bag and pulled out the damning stick with the plus sign on it.

  Eve peered at it, leaned to the left and squinted, repeated the view from the right, and finally agreed. “That’s positive.”

  Footsteps sounded outside the door.

  Eve’s eyes got, impossibly bigger. “Is Justin gonna freak?”

  “Screw Justin, I’m freaking!”

  Right on cue, another knock on the door. “Allie? Babe? You in there?”

  Without waiting for an answer, the door opened, and Justin’s massive self entered. Eve edged around him as he looked at both women. “Am I interrupting another weird sister ritual?”

  “Nope, no, not at all. I’ve got to go check on…things.” And Eve disappeared, like the chickenshit she was, leaving Allie and Justin alone.

  “Sneezy?” The old nickname had somehow become his pet name for her. She was still babe and his girl, but no one else would ever be Sneezy.

  His blue eyes searched her face, then looked down. At her hands. One of which was holding a positive pregnancy test. “Holy fuck. Are we pregnant?” His face lit up like the Fourth of July and Christmas, with trick-or-treat sprinkled on top.

  He wrapped her in his arms and lifted her, peppering her face with kisses, then setting her down, gently, and dropping to his knees.

  He patted her tummy and spoke. “Hey, little tadpole person. I’m your dad, producer of the fantabulous wonder-sperm that fought through ancient spermicide-treated latex and spazzed out mom-tubes to find the egg that is making you.” He pulled up her T-shirt and kissed her stomach then, blowing raspberries.

  Allie giggled and shoved at his shoulders. “Stop it. You’re going to scare it.”

  “Him. I’m pretty sure it’s a him.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  He shrugged. “Just wait and see.” He stood then. “So, um, I guess we officially need to be engaged now, huh?”

  “We don’t have to be,” she said.

  He just looked at her.

  “Wow. You are one romantic proposer.”

  He dropped back to one knee and pulled some toilet paper off the roll, twisted it up, and wrapped it around her finger. “I’ll do a better job when I’ve had a chance to find some change and get to the gum ball machine.”

  “I don’t want anything fancy, Justin. I don’t need a ring at all. I need you.”

  “You’ve got me.” The sincerity in his eyes was all she needed, forever.

  He cleared his throat, and she prepared herself for a romantic declaration. What she got was, “But I was sent in here to get you to come outside, because your mother’s here.”

  …

  Justin worked hard to keep his knees from shaking as he escorted his fiancée outside their home.

  He looked back at the aged farmhouse, and what had been a ramshackle example of down-home country charm suddenly transformed into a falling-down firetrap on the verge of condemnation, now that it was the future home of his wife and children.

  Shit just got real.

  But Allie was shaking harder and working to hide it. He hadn’t really had time to ask her how she felt about this. When that condom had broken, things had been different between them—too new, completely unsettled, so he understood her fear and reluctance about motherhood. But had that changed now that they were an official, real, long-term couple?

  They’d have to
deal with that later, because looming in front of them right now was Lorena McGrath, frozen fake smile in place, ready to release venom when the time was right.

  “Hello, Mother.” Allie smiled, her beautiful, honest smile.

  Justin knew how much it meant to Allie that Lorena had shown up for their Rainbow Dog Launch Party, even if she wasn’t behind the concept.

  “I’m glad you could make it,” Allie continued.

  Her mother nodded and looked at him. “Justinory.”

  “Hi, Mrs. McG. There’s a table over there for the families, if you want to join my mom and dad. I think we’re gonna say a few words and then have a toast.”

  As the assembled guests found seats at the tables or gathered around the edges of the tent, Caleb and Sherry passed out shots of Rainbow Dog.

  “Do you know what you’re going to say?” he asked Allie.

  She turned to him, those hypnotic green eyes wide and panicked. “I did. But now…I have no idea. Can you…can you do it?”

  “Uh… Okay.” Shit. He was the worst public speaker ever. Where the hell was Brandon when he needed him? Dude could at least do the Cyrano thing and remote-transmit something sensible into his ear that he could repeat.

  “Thank you.” She smiled up at him, her belief in his ability surrounding him and giving him superpowers.

  “I love you,” he murmured, taking the hand with the tissue paper ring on it and kissing it, then placing it on her belly.

  Her eyes widened, and she looked sideways at the table of parents, who were, yes, looking right at them…

  He cleared his throat. “Hey, everyone. Uh, thanks for being here today. We’re here to celebrate the launch of Allie’s business, Rainbow Dog. It was her idea from the get-go, and she worked her ass off to make it happen. Even though a lot of people told her she should do something else, this is what she wants. And as far as I’m concerned, what Allie wants, Allie gets.”

  There were a few snickers in the crowd.