You Can't Go Home Again

by Aubrianna Hunter

  He had tried to resist her, although he didn’t know why. It was his dream; why should he resist? He’d lost the fight anyway, grabbing her hair and pressing his lips to hers. It was all hard heat. They barely made it inside the house before he ripped her clothes off and took her against the wall.

  Just the thought of pressing into her wet, waiting flesh had his shaft pulsing, pressing against his boxers. He needed a cold shower.

  He stepped into the water, the temperature as cold as he could get it in the summer heat. The cold spray should have cooled his lust. It didn’t. When he finally gave in, he wrapped his hand around his shaft, unable to stop his hips from thrusting. In less than a minute he reached his release, the dreamed feel of Dani’s legs around him fresh in his mind.

  Once he was dressed, he debated again whether or not to go see her. The same debate he’d had with himself every morning since Saturday. He needed to talk to her and he knew it. When he wasn’t near her, when he could think logically, he knew he’d been wrong. Whatever it was about his scars that upset her, it wasn’t because she was repulsed by him.

  On some level he’d known even Friday night. She’d been crying too hard. She’d been crying like someone died. Dani wasn’t prone to tears and never to drama. Not like that. It had seemed odd, since she’d been a theater major, but she’d always been very in control of her emotions.

  When her parents had died, he’d seen the pain lurking behind the smile. He’d had no idea what to say when he went to see her, but he’d felt her hurting. He’d gone back that day because he’d had to, not even understanding why himself. He’d just known he couldn’t stand to see her like that.

  When he first got there, when she’d been crying, it had been easy to be a friend. Later that night, while she’d slept, curled so sweetly against him, it had been all he could do not to kiss her.

  Somehow, he’d resisted. And the next year had been amazing. And hell on earth. They’d gotten close, really close. Close enough that if it had been anyone but her, he would have run as far and as fast as he could. He knew that she’d trusted him, completely. And she’d never had any idea that he spent ninety percent of the time fighting to keep his hands off her. Sometimes he hadn’t been able to. He’d found himself touching her almost constantly during that year. All little, innocuous, friendly touches. Because that’s what he was. Her friend.

  Until that night at the beach. The night his body, his hormones, had gotten the best of him. He’d kissed her and she’d responded. He’d been screwed.

  Even as he’d been telling himself to stop, that he’d only take one more kiss, one more touch, he’d known it was a losing battle. It had been a year of intense desire, dreams finally realized.

  Her response had clinched it. She’d kissed him back, touching, tasting. When he’d pulled her suit aside, she’d been wet and ready. And the minute he touched her she’d exploded, coming in his hand.

  When he’d finally buried himself inside her she had reveled in it, matching his hectic pace thrust for thrust, until they both shattered.

  And the next morning, she’d been gone. No good-bye, no phone call. Not even “Be safe in Afghanistan.” Nothing. It had been the worst mistake of his life. The only thing that came close was the way he’d treated her since she’d come home.

  He knew it was himself he was really angry at, not her. But every time he saw her rational thought flew out the window. He wanted to kiss her or kill her. The two desires warred within him, struggling for dominance. Usually lust won out. Until she pushed him away; then the anger took over.

  Jace stood up, shoving away from the table with enough force to knock over the chair he’d been sitting in. He wanted to go see her. Talk to her. Touch her. But this morning, like the last four, he knew he wouldn’t. He grabbed his cell and called Zack. He didn’t want to talk; for that he’d call Bri. He wanted to fight, and he knew Zack was off this morning.

  “Hey, meet me at the gym?”

  “Sure, weights or what?”

  “Nah, I was thinking the ring?”

  “Okay, sounds good. Be there in twenty.”

  Jace hung up the phone. Zack was a good guy. He and Jace had hit it off in college freshman year. They had both dated frequently, a new girl every few weeks. Where Jace had been loyal, never cheating on one girl with another, Zack had been a true player. He’d never had a girlfriend longer than two weeks. Still hadn’t, to the best of Jace’s knowledge. He hadn’t even been able to stay faithful to most of them for that long.

  He’d also been very different from Bri. Brian was quieter, deeper. He had always seen through Jace’s line of bullshit. So when Jace hadn’t wanted to talk about something, he’d hung with Zack. Apparently not much had changed.

  * * * * *

  Unfortunately, Zack picked today to be observant. After a few minutes in the ring, and a few solid hits from Jace, he stepped back, raising his hands to stop.

  “Okay, I’m all for a good fight, but did you want to tell me what you’re actually fighting? Just so I know how hard to expect the hits to be.”

  “No. You ready?”

  Zack grabbed some water before turning back. “So, you’re thinking that beating the piss out of me might make you feel better.”

  “Don’t want to talk about it. You ready?”

  Zack nodded. “Heard you and Nicole broke up.” He was guessing, trying to figure out what had Jace so riled up this morning. Jace said nothing, just got this baffled expression on his face. Okay, strike one.

  “You in a fight with your family? Your brother or something?”

  “No, I really don’t want to talk about it. Let’s go.”

  Okay, strike two. No resentment there…that meant it was a woman. Which would also explain the Nicole situation. “So, then this is about Dani.”

  Jace’s face turned hard, his mouth set into a grim line. Home run.

  “Are we gonna fight or sit around and gossip like two old women?” Jace was not going to talk about this.

  “Okay, let’s fight. At least now I know how hard you’re gonna hit.” He shook out his arms, bent his neck from one side to the other, then stepped toward Jace. “Bring it, bro.”

  Jace brought it.

  Chapter 22

  Dani took her own car to the rehearsal. She was riding in a limo with the rest of the wedding party to the dinner itself, but they were all meeting at Jenn’s parents’ house for the actual rehearsal. Dani wanted to make sure she had an escape route should she need it.

  She saw the cars out front and knew most people were already there. She stopped just outside the side gate to take a deep breath to steady herself—until she heard Jenn scream.

  “Oh my God! Are you kidding me?”

  Dani came running in, expecting some major destruction; the tent was destroyed, the archway had fallen apart. Instead she saw Jenn standing in front of Jace and Zack, hands on her hips and a glare in her eyes. She could only see the back of their heads, so she couldn’t read their expressions, but their posture looked very much like children being chastised. Head down, hands clasped behind their back, shoulders hunched.

  She ran over, trying to figure out why Jenn would be so upset. As soon as she saw their faces, she knew.

  “You got into a bar fight?”

  They all looked up at the sound of Dani’s voice. Jace looked pissed, like it was somehow her fault, but Zack was smirking.

  It was Zack who answered. “Not exactly. We got into a fight. With each other. But we were wearing pads.”

  Dani looked closer. Zack had a black eye. It still looked fresh, which meant it was shaping up to be a doozy. Jace had a split lip, not too bad, but he had another cut just above his right eye. It looked like it needed stitches.

  Dani turned to Jenn, saw the anger pooling into panic as she mumbled something about the wedding photos. “Jenn, it’ll be fine. We’re going to do this rehearsal, and the dinner. Then Jace is going with me to the ER to get stitches in that damn fool head of his. Zack’s black eye will b
e easy. I’ll just cover it all with makeup before the wedding. They won’t ruin your pictures, okay? I promise.” She put her arms around Jenn’s shoulders, steering her over toward Bri and the minister waiting by the back door of the house.

  Once Jenn was safely on her way, Dani headed back out to Zack. He was the safer of the two choices. “Okay, do I want to know why you two had a brawl?”

  Zack smirked again, throwing an arm around her shoulder. “No, probably not. But I’ll tell you anyway, if you ask.”

  Dani looked at him; the smirk had a slightly evil twinge to it. She debated for all of thirty seconds before deciding she was better off not knowing. “Nope. Doesn’t matter. You will both do exactly what I say, and we will make up your eye before the wedding. And the idiot over there,” she vaguely waved toward Jace, “will go get stitched after this dinner. So, are you taking him or am I?”

  Zack smiled again; this time, it was definitely wicked. “Why don’t we ask him?”

  Dani squinched her eyes at him, giving him a sideways glare. Zack’s response was to lean in, give her a quick kiss on the cheek and laugh. “Come on. I think they’re waiting on us.”

  * * * * *

  The rehearsal went off without a hitch, and by the time they all piled into the limo, Jenn was in much better spirits. Dani, on the other hand, was getting more and more stressed. She hadn’t actually spoken to Jace all night. It hadn’t been that hard to avoid doing so, since they had essentially been silent as they ran through the wedding three times.

  Unfortunately, she was now seated next to him. Somehow, out of six other choices, she had ended up between Jace and the door.

  Conversation flowed around them, laughter and teasing, a group of people obviously comfortable with each other. Dani couldn’t even enjoy it. She was too aware of Jace sitting next to her, his leg pressed full length against her own. She was wishing she’d worn jeans instead of a dress, anything to act as a barrier between them.

  She was officially in hell. She was being tortured, punished for past sins. Maybe this was his way of getting even with her for not being there when he’d needed her. She was pretty sure that if he kept this up she would spontaneously combust. A choked giggle escaped as she thought about how Jenn would react to that. That would definitely screw up her wedding.

  At the sound of her giggle, Jace looked over. Since this brought out yet another giggle, she wasn’t surprised when he leaned in toward her, whispering , “Let me in on the joke.”

  She turned to whisper back to him, something they’d done a thousand times before, and found herself staring straight into his eyes. As she lost herself in a sea of green, everything around them fell away. She forgot where they were, forgot the people in the car with them. She forgot that he was mad at her, forgot that she was ignoring him.

  * * * * *

  Jace’s hands physically itched with the urge to touch her. He’d been fighting with himself since she’d come in, yelling at him and calling him an idiot. Her summer dress, some mix of purples in a form-fitting shape, left her arms, and way too much of her legs, bare. It had been hard enough to pull his eyes from her while the minister was talking. Now, sitting next to her, he longed to reach out and run his hands up her exposed thigh.

  Instead he gripped his hands into fists, clenching them together in his lap until his knuckles were white with the effort. When she leaned toward the door, crossing her legs in the process, he barely contained his groan. His shaft pulsed, going rock hard with desire. He shifted in his seat, unwittingly brushing his hip against hers.

  After another minute, another leg shift from Dani, Jace gave up, his hand reaching over, needing to touch her skin.

  He ran his thumb down her cheek, watching as she sucked in a breath and held it. He wanted to kiss her. As he leaned forward, a fraction of an inch, the group around them burst out laughing.

  With the spell broken, Dani quickly scooted away from him, as close to the door as possible. He watched her straighten her skirt, groaning quietly as he leaned back against the seat. Jace felt every muscle in his body tense up. He needed to get out of this car. When it finally rolled to a stop in front of the restaurant, he threw open the door and almost shoved Dani out, climbing out right behind her. He walked in, going straight to the bar. He needed a drink.

  Jenn’s parents, Bri’s parents and a couple of grandparents had ridden over in a different limo. When she saw Jace down a finger of scotch, Jenn’s mom walked over and took the glass away.

  “Uh-uh. Alcohol is a blood thinner, and that bandage I put on is barely holding. Until you get some stitches, you are alcohol free.”

  “Ann, please. You can’t be serious.”

  “I’m deadly serious. You are not going to bleed all over this restaurant. So, either go in there and eat, or take one of the limos over to the hospital. We’ll be here awhile anyway. You can join us afterwards. Jenn won’t mind.”

  Jace looked at her, realized she was serious, and knew there was no way he could get through this night without liquor. So…he turned to walk back out to the car. He vaguely heard Ann telling someone to go with him.

  When he got in the car he was followed shortly by Dani. This time he couldn’t stop the groan.

  She glanced his way as she sat down as far away from him as she could politely manage. The driver confirmed that he was to go to the nearest hospital and then put up the divider, effectively leaving the two alone.

  Dani reached over and turned on the radio, fiddling with the stations before finally settling on a new country station. Once she was settled with that she leaned to the minibar, reaching in and pulling out a 7-Up. She glanced at him, gesturing with her hands, some invitation to drink.

  “Not unless there’s a scotch in there.”

  Rather than respond verbally, she simply closed the door, leaned back in her seat and opened her soda. After a few interminable minutes of silence, Jace couldn’t stand it any longer.

  “Is this how it’s going to be, Dani? Really?”

  She shrugged and took another sip of her soda, looking toward the front, away from him.

  “No way. No fucking way am I going to sit here and be ignored! Not by you. There’s too much between us for that!”

  She finally turned to look at him, her eyes boring straight into his. She very calmly answered, “I’m not going to argue with you, Jace. If you want to sit here and yell at me, then there’s nothing I can do to stop you. But I won’t fight with you. Not anymore.”

  She looked completely calm, composed. As if sitting here next to him, talking to him was as casual as a stroll in a familiar park. Until you looked at her eyes.

  She’d always been good at masking her expression. Apparently she’d gotten better. However… “Your eyes still give you away.”

  She lifted one eyebrow, a sardonic twist to her lips. “Really? Well, yours scream out ‘I’m a dumbass.’”

  He reached up self-consciously and touched the cut on his brow. “Saw you talking to Zack. Did he tell you what happened?”

  “No, only that you two were in a ring and pads. Apparently, they didn’t work.”

  “Dani… I need to apologize to—”

  “No, Jace. You don’t and I don’t want to hear it.”

  “No, I really owe you an apology, several of them actua—”

  “No!” This time she was emphatic about it. “I don’t want to talk about this. You’ll apologize, remind me why we used to be friends, and then I’ll do something, say something and you’ll be pissed again. You’ll just end up saying something you’ll need to apologize for later. I don’t want to hear it. I’m getting off that Ferris wheel while I still can. Besides,” she moved closer to the door as the car rolled to a stop, “we’re here.”

  She climbed out before Jace could say another word. He trailed after her into the hospital.

  Chapter 23

  Once they got him checked in, Jace tried again. Dani got up to go get coffee, asking if he wanted some as well.

  When she returned,
he’d realized she wasn’t going to listen. They sat in silence, watching the news for over an hour while they waited to see the doctor.

  Jace was itchy. He hated hospitals, always had. Hated them even more after spending more than a month in one. Now, he sat on the bed wondering why the hell he was here in the first place. His head was fine. So he was bleeding, so what? Head injuries bled a lot. It wasn’t the first time he’d split his head open. If he couldn’t move fast enough to avoid Zack’s right hook, it wouldn’t be the last either.

  As soon as the doctor walked in, Jace made sure to voice his opinion. “I don’t need stitches. You ought to let me go and give this bed to someone who really needs it.”

  The doctor, probably in his early thirties, looked to Dani with a soft smile. “Your husband seems to think he’s fine. I’m guessing you think otherwise?”

  Dani smiled up at the handsome young doctor. “Not my husband. My…friend. And this happened earlier today, and he’s still bleeding. I would say he needs stitches.”

  “Aahh.” The doctor’s smile warmed considerably. “Well, I’m Dr. Victor Johanssen, but you can call me Vic. Let’s take a look and see what we’ve got here, shall we?” He smiled again at Dani before stepping up to Jace.

  Luckily he was looking at Jace’s head, not his eyes, otherwise he would have run for his life. Jace’s expression was murderous. He could literally rip this man’s throat out of his neck. He’d been trained to. It would be quick, and fairly painless…but messy.

  When “Vic” stepped back, he turned away from Jace, talking to Dani again. What the hell was he, some sort of child?

  “Well, it definitely needs stitches. In fact, he really should have come in sooner. I can do them, but since it’s on his face, we should really call in a plastic surgeon so it doesn’t leave a scar.”

  Jace was really tired of being ignored. “Stitch it up, now, and get me the fuck out of here.”

  The doc looked at him, then turned back to Dani. Charm was his middle name when he asked her, “Well, what do you think? Do you mind if your…friend…has a scar?”