You Can't Go Home Again

by Aubrianna Hunter

  Dani had only had one lover since she’d left five years before. And that had been over three years ago. Now, she felt passion surge to life again. A passion she had thought was gone, one she had attributed to youth. Apparently it hadn’t been her age—it had been Jace. When his hand skimmed up and down her spine, she knew she was lost. Logic be damned, consequences be damned. Right now he wanted her, and she needed him. She would deal with his anger, his hatred, later.

  Desire won out over common sense as Jace tipped her chin up, melding her lips to his. The kiss was soft and slow, but left no doubt as to where it was leading. He slipped his tongue into her mouth, for just a moment, just a taste.

  He tasted of champagne, but darker, stronger. His own unique flavor. When his tongue brushed hers, she couldn’t stop the quiet little whimper that slipped out into his waiting mouth.

  He felt more than heard her soft cry, but his need surged, raw and impatient. He pulled his mouth from hers, completely unaware of the audience watching from across the room.

  “Come with me? Now.”

  Disregarding her purse, her keys, her truck, even leaving her shoes behind, Dani couldn’t help but follow. He pulled her behind him, walking fast enough that she had to scurry to keep up. When they cleared the side of the house, he pressed her up against the door of his truck.

  His lips were on hers, hot and hard. This was not a soft kiss, not a sampling; this was lust, pure and simple. She felt her head get fuzzy, her mind slowing, allowing her body to take over. She felt everything. The warm breeze across her arms, the truck, still heated from the day, pressing against her back. And Jace…everywhere Jace. He was kissing her, sliding his hands up and down her body.

  * * * * *

  Jace hadn’t meant to get so carried away. He’d just wanted a taste, needed to feel her lips beneath his. Just for a moment. He’d intended to take her back to his place. But, as she responded to his kiss, his need overwhelmed him. His whole body was on fire, desperate to feel, to touch, to taste every inch of her. He didn’t know why it was always like this with her, only with her. He knew it should scare the hell out of him. But it was Dani… That made it right, expected even. She’d never been like other women.

  He pressed her against the truck, trying to find the control he needed to pull away, to open the door, to drive. Instead, he slipped his mouth down her neck, his hand up to her breast, cupping her, feeling her nipple pebble against his palm. He’d known she was braless under that dress, had been struggling to keep his hands to himself all night. Now, he was lost. He grazed his thumb over her taut peak, hearing her soft sigh of pleasure. His shaft jumped, straining against his zipper. He’d been hard and aching since he’d seen her walk into his bar. Feeling her hips writhing against his, he was so hard he hurt. Pleasure to the point of pain.

  * * * * *

  She felt his hand squeeze her hips, pulling her tight against him; felt him bend his knees, reach around to cup her ass, lifting her up against his shaft. She wanted to wrap her legs around his waist, but the long dress wouldn’t allow it. She settled for lifting one leg, trying to get closer to him.

  She was empty, needy. Her body was screaming out for the pleasure she had denied herself for five years. Just before she let go of reason, of sanity, she remembered her vision. There was too much between them, too many barriers. Whether it was tomorrow morning, or after she told him she’d seen his battle, at some point he would remember that she was a mistake. The worst mistake of his life.

  Like a splash of cold water, her sanity returned. “No.”

  “You’re right. We need to get back to my place.”

  Dani pushed at his shoulders, trying to get away from his heat, away from her own desire, before she gave in to the urges wracking her. “No, Jace… I can’t.”

  He finally felt her pushing him away. He set her feet back on the ground, stepping back, looking into her face. “But the other night…”

  “The other night you were drugged. It was a mistake, but one I thought you wouldn’t remember. I just…can’t. Jenn and Bri are married. They’re going to have kids. Kids who will be the only nieces and nephews I may ever have. You’ve been drinking… Tomorrow… I just can’t. I don’t want…another five years. Jace… I can’t be… The last couple days have been…good… Jace, I can’t… I want to come back and visit. I won’t be your mistake again.”

  She wasn’t making sense, knew she wasn’t. She was trying to explain, to make him understand. The thoughts were racing too fast to be put into words. When she saw the anger rush into his eyes, the look she had hoped was gone forever, the look she’d known would return, she turned and fled, running into the house. She needed a phone, a cab…something.

  * * * * *

  Jace watched her run off, his hand reaching out to stop her too late. He’d done it again. He’d thought there was something more between them than there actually was. And she’d run away…again. Apparently he was just too stupid to learn. She’d been humoring him, or maybe sating some latent need, the other night in his bed. Maybe it had been pity, thinking he was too doped up to even know what he was doing. Either way, he had managed to chase her away again.

  He was furious with himself. Out of her ramblings, he had picked up on the gist. She wanted them to be friends…at least friendly enough that she could come back here and visit with Jenn and Bri, and their kids down the line.

  As much as he wanted to hate her again, he knew he couldn’t. Not even he could hate someone simply for not returning his feelings. Leaving his coat and vest, Jace climbed in his truck and drove away. He was too tired, too frustrated, and too fucking aroused to be able to make nice tonight. He would go see Dani tomorrow. He would apologize. He would try to forget the way she fit against him. Try to forget her body’s response. He would try to be her friend.

  * * * * *

  The next morning Dani showed up at Jenn and Bri’s just before seven a.m. Before she even knocked she heard Jenn yelling, “Where are my white sandals?”

  Hearing Bri’s response, “Wherever you left them. Didn’t you already pack them?” Dani let herself in.

  “Knock knock! Are you guys ready?”

  Jenn’s head popped out from the back hallway, “Almost. Hi…well, you look more rested than I would have thought. And you still had time to swing home and change.”

  It took a minute before Dani figured out what she was talking about. “No, I didn’t swing home. I was home. I swung by your parents’ house and picked up my car.”

  “So, you and Jace went to your place last night? Huh, his was closer. I would have thought that was a necessity.”

  “No, I took a cab home. I’d had too much champagne to drive. And, I took a cab back this morning. Jace, I’m assuming, is at home.”

  “So, you guys didn’t… I mean, it looked… Well?”

  Dani couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay, you got married last night, you’re leaving for your honeymoon in a few minutes. I’m just here to act as taxi service, and pick up keys and a puppy. Why are you so worried about my sex life? Didn’t he keep you busy enough with your own?”

  Jenn grinned a wicked grin. “Yes…but yours looked pretty interesting, too. At least from the kissing we saw when we left last night.”

  “Well, it was just kissing. And I put a stop to even that. So, there’s nothing for you to be interested in.”

  Jenn’s face scrunched up. Her nose all wrinkly, she asked, “You stopped it?”

  “Yes, Jenn, and you know why. So, let’s talk about the important things…Do you have all your bathing suits and lingerie? Cuz I’m betting you won’t need much else.”

  Jenn looked at Dani, a really long look. Finally deciding that the topic was closed for the moment, she went along with the change in subject. “Yes, we’re ready. Bri’s bringing the luggage out. We’ll be back next Sunday. You know, you really should get rid of the rental and just drive my car while we’re gone. It’s silly to pay for it. Anyway, just take care of my baby for me.” As Jenn fell into
the silly baby-talk voice, Dakota, the puppy Dani was babysitting, came scampering out of the kitchen, dancing around their feet.

  Jenn bent down, scooping up the fuzzy bundle and kissing his head all over the place with loud smooch noises. “I’m going to miss you, baby! But Dani will take good care of you.”

  She passed him off to Dani, who, laughing, took him and held him on her hip like a baby. “You know, he’s almost too big to pick up. In another month or so, you won’t be able to.”

  Jenn sighed. “I know. But he’s just so darned cute. Okay, so be good to him, and just make yourself at home.”

  “Actually, I was thinking I’d rather take him to my place, if you don’t mind. I’d feel better if he peed on the hardwood floor than if he had an accident on your carpet. And, since I’ve never had a puppy, I’m pretty sure I’ll blow it and he’ll have an oops.”

  Jenn laughed, scratching his chin again. “Well, since he’s already peed on the carpet, it doesn’t matter. It cleans. But you can take him to your house. That’s fine. Okay, are we ready?”

  Bri had just come around the corner, carrying so much luggage it looked as if they were moving away.

  Jenn took the puppy and put him in his crate. Dani would pick him up on the way back from the airport, but for now he was safest there. “Sure thing, let’s go.”

  As Dani dropped them at the airport terminal, Jenn leaned in for a quick hug. She managed one last comment before walking away. “When I get home, we are so finishing that conversation. I want to know why you slept alone last night.”

  She waved her fingers over her shoulders, leaving Dani standing there, mouth hanging open.

  Chapter 33

  Jace showed up at Dani’s house just before noon. He knocked several times, even rang the doorbell. He knew she was here—the Land Rover was out front. When he heard laughter from the backyard, he headed around the side and through the fence.

  He found Dani, rolling in the grass with a yellow ball of fuzz on top of her licking her face. For just a moment, he could see his future, the one he wanted. He felt the air rush out of him, leaving him breathless and raw. It occurred to him that he’d never really gotten over her. Never really even tried. He’d just traded all the good emotion for bad, making him hate her instead.

  Now, seeing her laughing and playing with a puppy, he realized he wanted this, wanted her, forever. He was hopelessly in love with her. And she wanted to be his friend. Sure…why the hell not.

  He caught his breath, trying for a casual smile. He strolled over and scooped the puppy off her tummy. Seeing the shocked expression on her face almost made him feel better. Almost.

  “So, I see you’ve made a new friend?”

  “Yeah. I guess I have. We’d met a few times before, but I think he just likes everyone.” She hopped to her feet, standing a few feet away from Jace. “What are you doing here?”

  The question was polite enough, not angry, just inquiring. “I, uh…I wanted to apologize.”

  “For what?”

  She seemed genuinely confused.

  “For last night. And the night before, and the one before that too, actually. When I realized it was real, not part of my dream, I guess I assumed that you wanted…me…a physical relationship.”

  Jace was stumbling over his words… He never stumbled.

  “Anyway, I just wanted to say that I heard you…last night. Once I sorted out what you’d said, anyway. But, I get it. And, I’d like that too. To be friends again.”

  * * * * *

  He wanted to be her friend. She should be thrilled. He wasn’t angry, he didn’t hate her. They wouldn’t fight anymore. So, they wouldn’t kiss anymore either, but…well, it was what she wanted. Right?

  She watched him playing with the puppy, looking relaxed and happy for the first time since she’d been here. She thought about Friday, setting up for the wedding. Laughing and teasing. If you took away the kiss, it had been much like it had before she’d left. She thought about the rush of desire every time she got anywhere near him. Was it worth it?

  The answer was undeniably yes. She would just have to keep her distance.

  When he finally saw her nod, Jace let out the breath he hadn’t been aware he’d been holding. He felt the tension leave his body, his neck and shoulders relax.

  When she saw the grin, the mischievous, sideways smirk she’d always loved, she inwardly groaned. Friends…with the man who made her blood sizzle. God, she was an idiot.

  “Okay, so, do you want some lunch? I was going to make a turkey sandwich… No reason I can’t make two.”

  He set the puppy down and headed up onto the deck. He opened the back door, leaning slightly against it. “After you.”

  She walked past him, careful not to touch him, and into the kitchen.

  * * * * *

  She and Jace spent the afternoon together. They had lunch, he at the table, she on the counter. He laughed at her, commenting that she hadn’t grown up enough to use furniture.

  He helped her move some stuff out to the dumpster she’d rented, carrying down some of the heavier boxes from the attic. They went through the kitchen, dumping every old appliance and even most of the pots and pans. She kept only what she would need for the week.

  They played with the puppy some more, taking Dakota for a short walk around the neighborhood.

  After a few hours, they were starting to fall into their old comfort zones. Some of the awkwardness from earlier had faded, leaving behind the remnants of a once strong friendship. There were even short moments where Dani could forget she’d ever left.

  For dinner, they hopped in her car and went into town to grab something from the Mexican food place. They took it back to her house, settling in to watch a movie, the puppy curled up on the floor beside Dani.

  They found a horror movie on cable, and decided on that. Making fun of the stupid women in horror flicks had long been a favored pastime. When Jace made a stupid girly voice, saying, “Aaahh… I’m the sexy girl… Let me walk off alone into the woods so I can get killed,” Dani reached back and punched him in the stomach.

  He grabbed her wrist in reflex, laughing and wrapping his hands over her fist. “You would never get killed in one of these. Swing first, ask questions later.” He shook his head. “Nothing’s changed.”

  As the flash of fire zipped up her arm, only then did she remember that she couldn’t touch him. As his hand opened hers, sliding his fingers into hers until they were holding hands, she felt the heat unfurl in her core. As her body responded against her will, she thought just how wrong he was. She’d always been attracted to him, but now, knowing what it was like to make love to him, she couldn’t control her physical response. Some things had definitely changed.

  Her breasts felt heavy and achy again. The nipples began to tighten into little peaks, silently begging for his mouth to close over them. She had to get her hand out of his! She pulled away, jumping up and heading to the kitchen, yelling over her shoulder. “Want another soda?”

  * * * * *

  Jace groaned as she left the room. He hadn’t meant to touch her, not at all. It had been a reflex when she’d punched at his stomach. Then when her hand had been in his, it had been the most natural thing in the world to simply hold on. He hadn’t kissed her, or nipped at her fingers like he’d wanted to. Apparently even the casual touches they used to share were no longer allowed. That was probably better anyway. Just feeling her skin had been enough to give him a cock as hard as iron.

  When she popped her head back around the corner to the kitchen, he forced a smile.

  “Did you want another soda?”

  “Yeah, sure.” Anything cold would be helpful.

  When she came back in a few minutes later, they finished up the movie in silence. Jace left as soon as it was over, almost racing to the door with a quick wave over his shoulder.

  Well, that hadn’t gone very well.

  * * * * *

  The next couple of days were better. Jace came over almost e
very day, early in the day, heading out around five or so to go to the bar. By Wednesday, Dani needed to get away from the house, so she called Zack and Sara asking if either of them wanted to meet her at Hooligan’s. They both agreed. Zack was actually off that night and, oddly, didn’t have a date.

  Jace looked up to see Zack walk in with Sara. Surprised to see them, he was less so when Dani came in a couple minutes later. Feeling the now familiar surge of lust, adrenaline and simple pleasure at seeing her, he knew he was in deep. He’d just have to ride it out until she left. Maybe Bri had the right idea… Maybe it was time to find someone and settle down.

  The thought left him cold.

  When Zack swooped Dani into a none-too-subtle embrace, Jace felt the green-eyed monster rise again. Damn! He’d thought he had that under control.

  Looking around the bar, seeing just a few of the weekday regulars, Jace headed over to join the group. Grabbing a chair and pulling it deliberately between Zack and Dani, he felt a little calmer. He knew he couldn’t have her, but he’d be damned if Zack would.

  They all talked, laughed, Zack sending Jace a quick look of surprise, although Jace wasn’t sure what he was surprised over—Dani and Jace getting along, or the kiss last week. When the ladies excused themselves to the restroom, Jace finally found out.

  “So, what’s with you and Dani?” Zack wasted no time in asking.

  “Nothin’. Why do you ask?”

  “Well, that kiss wasn’t nothin’. And the dancing and kissing at the wedding. That all looked like something. Now, you’re hands off, but not screaming at her either. What gives?”

  “We’re friends.”

  “You’re not interested?” Seeing the glare on Jace’s face brought a low, rumbling laugh out of Zack.