You Can't Go Home Again

by Aubrianna Hunter

  She sounded almost pained when she finally answered him. “No more power than you have over me.” She pressed her mouth to his, hooking a leg around his thigh. “You make me dream your dreams.”

  He heard the words, not really understanding them, lost in the feel of her body against his. His crazy need to claim her surged to life. He didn’t understand it, should have been afraid of it, but he wasn’t. He gave in… If his desire scared her, then so be it.

  He pushed back, freeing her hands and moving down her body, pressing kisses, licking and tasting. When he reached her core he parted her folds with his tongue, licking her clitoris, hearing her soft sighs, before sucking it into his mouth. When her whimpers turned to little yelps, he thrust two fingers inside her tight sheath. He felt her orgasm starting with the first thrust.

  * * * * *

  She was on fire, his lips wringing pleasure from her, leaving her as limp as a wet dishrag. But he wouldn’t stop. His mouth was fierce, licking and sucking, his tongue taking turns with his fingers, thrusting inside. Another climax broke over her, surprising in its intensity. She wasn’t sure her body could possibly handle any more.

  Jace moved upwards, stopping to bite at her nipples, before flipping her over onto her stomach as though she weighed nothing. He pulled her hips up, bringing her to her knees, pushing them apart. She felt him behind her, his shaft pulsing against her ass, his fingers plunging inside her, making her body sing with pleasure once more. As his hand left, his cock, hard as steel, pressed into her slowly, filling her.

  She cried out, pushing back against him, already desperate to speed his pace. He gripped her hips, slowing her. “No…not so fast. I want to feel every inch of you wrapping around me.”

  “God, Jace… I need you. Please!” She had never felt this way, not even with him. He thought she had power over him, but it was nothing compared to how he made her feel. The intensity wasn’t just physical—she felt her heart expanding, pressing against her ribs. She needed to feel him pounding into her, his body thrusting against hers. “Please!” she said again.

  His hand came down on her ass, slapping just hard enough for her to feel the sting. “No! Not this time… I’m not done with you yet.”

  His voice was deep, growly. With the second slap, she came apart, flying into pieces she was sure she’d never get back together. She yelled out, her hands fisting in the pillow.

  * * * * *

  Feeling her coming around him, her wet heat squeezing his shaft, he gave up on slow. He slapped her ass once more, thrusting harder and faster. “Dani…aaahh, you make me so hard. You’re so fucking tight.” He brought his hands up to her shoulders, pulling her back against him as he thrust forward, using all his strength. “Aaahh, fuck…. I need you.”

  He pulled her upright, her body tight against his, her back to his front. Her hands reached backwards, digging her fingers into his ass. When her nails joined in, he felt his cock pulse inside her, his orgasm raging up on him.

  “Harder…aaahhh! Harder!!” she cried out. Her nails raked up the sides of his ass and he saw tears rolling down her face. She was as far gone as he was. “Aaahh…fuck, yeah!” He brought his hands around, pinching her nipples, biting her neck as he came harder than he’d ever imagined. And she cried out. Not in pain, but in pleasure, coming again on his shaft.

  Chapter 37

  She rolled over, stretching like a cat. She smiled a little, thinking to herself, the cat that ate the canary. As she surfaced, she recalled that her dream hadn’t been a dream at all. Instead, it had been a delicious fantasy come to life. She rolled over, stretching a little more, stopping when she heard a distinctly masculine chuckle.

  She opened her eyes to find Jace, propped on one elbow, grinning at her. She grinned back, biting her lip. “Hey.”

  “Hey, yourself. Sleep well?” He trailed a finger gently down her cheek, across her lips.

  She smiled, nuzzling into his hand. “Yes. And obviously long enough, since its dark outside.” She ran her hand down his chest, gently brushing the scar down his side. “How long have you been awake?”

  * * * * *

  “Not long. I let the dog out and started a pot of coffee. I figured we’ve already got the days and nights screwed up, so we should have some breakfast.” He pushed a strand of hair off her face, grazing her ear. Hearing her soft, happy sigh, he almost hated his next words. “And then, we need to talk.”

  “Okay.”

  He heard the hesitancy in her voice and hated having to cause it. He tried to put her at ease. “No regrets, Dani… I just want to talk. And, if I actually want any answers, we need to be clothed…with a table between us.” He rolled off, grabbing his jeans and sliding them on all in one move.

  “Apparently you’ve done that before.” He heard the edge in her voice as she finished her thought. “If you want to leave, there’s no need to rush. I won’t try to stop you.”

  He turned back, zipping his fly, but leaving the button. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but you’re wrong. I’m not going anywhere, except downstairs. This is the only way I know to keep my hands off you.”

  As he watched her slowly flip back the blanket and stand, naked and beautiful, he groaned, muttering under his breath, “Even this won’t be enough.” Then he saw the bruises.

  She had red marks on her ass from where he’d smacked her, bruises on her hips from where he’d grabbed her downstairs. Her nipples were red where he’d sucked or pinched too hard. And there was a bite mark on her shoulder.

  His jaw tightened, his teeth clamping down. He’d hurt her. Furious with himself, unable to even find the words to apologize, he stormed from the room, grabbing his shirt as he went.

  * * * * *

  She watched his back as he stomped out of the room. What the hell? Why was he pissed all of a sudden? She grabbed a T-shirt and some shorts, skipping the bra, and followed him out of the room, the puppy hot on her heels.

  She found him in the kitchen, beating eggs into a froth, two steaming cups of coffee on the counter behind him. “Okay, no…you don’t get to be all pissy and sullen now. You could have done that this morning, before the shower. But now…nuh-uh. You don’t get to have regrets. That was not a mistake! I am not a mistake!” Her voice had escalated, ending on almost a scream.

  He shoved the eggs away, spilling them all over the counter. He spun, stalking toward her until they were face to face. His voice came out on a low growl as he spoke through clenched teeth.

  “Get this through that damn thick skull of yours. You are not a mistake. You were never a mistake. I am so in love with you that I can’t fucking see straight! And I hurt you! I can’t control myself with you, you make me so fucking crazy, and I fucking hurt you!”

  She had taken a step backwards. Jace had taken another step closer. She leaned back, startled by his anger. Until his words sank in.

  She stood up straight, placing a hand on his chest as she realized for some reason he was angry with himself. “You…didn’t. You didn’t hurt me. What are you talking about?”

  He took a deep breath, his hands still clenching into fists at his sides. “You have bruises, everywhere, and hand marks. I bit you, Dani.” He sunk backwards, leaning against the kitchen island. “I fucking bit you. God, I’m so sorry.” His hands came up, scrubbing up and down his face, shoving through his hair.

  She stepped toward him, putting her hands in his, leaning down until he looked into her eyes. “Listen to me. Listen carefully. I’m not hurt. It doesn’t hurt, Jace, not then and not now. Everything you were feeling, I felt too. All of it. If I’d been facing the other way, I would have bit you too. And I’m pretty sure if you check your ass, I left claw marks. It was intense, Jace. It was intense, and wonderful. Is that what you were afraid of? That I’d freak out?”

  He looked at her gorgeous blue eyes, switching down to their joined hands as he admitted, “That…and more.”

  She raised her eyebrows, surprised but not afraid. “And more? So, you like rough sex?�
�� She leaned into him until they were touching from head to toe. Going up on her toes, she whispered in his ear. “What else do you want to do to me?”

  She tilted her head, looking into his eyes just in time to see the pained expression cross his face.

  * * * * *

  She didn’t want to know some of the things he’d dreamed about. “I don’t like rough sex. At least not generally speaking. It’s just you. I can’t think with you, can’t control…anything. It’s almost too much. I’m afraid I’m going to seriously hurt you.”

  She pressed her lips to his, a soft, reassuring kiss. “Jace, whatever you can dish out, I can take. If it’s ever too much, I’ll let you know. I promise. In case you haven’t guessed, I love you too.”

  He’d been looking down at their joined hands, but at her words, his head whipped up. He tugged, pulling her into him, pressing his lips down onto hers. She loved him! He couldn’t believe it, but she loved him. He pulled her closer, squeezing her against him, trying to show her how much he felt for her.

  When he felt a tear slide down onto their joined lips, he pulled back. “Why are you crying? Dani? What’s wrong?”

  “It’s like the dreams. You’re some kind of a catalyst for my abilities.”

  “What dreams? What do you mean? Are you okay?”

  “I told you earlier, or I tried. Jace, I can see your dreams. I have the same dreams. That’s what I was trying to explain. You thought I just wanted to hear that you dreamed of me, but… I dream the same things. The bike, the sex dreams. They’re vivid, right? Like you can feel them?”

  Jace nodded. “How did you know?”

  “Because that’s how it is for me. It’s so strong, it’s almost real. I wake up and my body feels like you’re still there, still inside me. Just now, I could hear your thoughts. When you kissed me… I could feel it, from your side.”

  Jace’s body sagged, his knees giving way as his weight pressed against the counter. “You what?”

  “I could feel what you felt. Jace, I need you to believe this, to believe me. This has never happened before. I’ve never dreamed anything anyone else dreamed, felt what they felt. It’s only with you.”

  Her voice was pleading, nervous. He could hear the fear behind her words. She was telling the truth. He didn’t understand it, but he couldn’t deny it. Not anymore. “So, you’re a psychic, huh?”

  He believed her. Relief washed through her, erasing all her doubts. He loved her…and he believed her. “Yes, Jace. I’m a psychic. Although not a very good one. I’ve tried not to be—I don’t want to see things. Up until I got back here, I’ve never seen anything good.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’ve only ever been able to see bad things. Accidents, usually just little ones, sometimes bigger, like with Jenn. And the one with you. Seeing you…regretting our night together.”

  “I didn’t, though, not…”

  She raised a hand, stopping him before he tried to explain again. “I get it… Jenn called it a self-fulfilling prophecy. I saw you regretting it, so, thinking the worst, I left. Which made you regret it. The bike was the same thing. I’d seen the dream, so, thinking about the dream, the vision, I felt the arousal I knew was coming. I got off the bike… You know the rest. I didn’t even know it could work that way, so it never occurred to me that you would only be upset if I left. I don’t think I ever said sorry, by the way.”

  He laughed, a short chuckle, but it was enough to make Dani smile too, take some of the tension out of the room.

  “No problem. So, I have a question. If you see things, even more things about me, all negative things, why didn’t you ever see how much I missed you?”

  “Did you? Miss me?”

  “Every day.” His voice held all the warmth and pent-up longing he’d struggled for five years to hold at bay.

  “Maybe because that wouldn’t have been negative. Not to me. If I’d ever known that you missed me, even half as much as I missed you… I would have come home.”

  He pulled her to him, pressing a soft, tender kiss to her forehead. “I called for you. When I was in the hospital. I didn’t know I did until Brian told me. But I wanted you there.” He felt her tense, misunderstanding the cause. “Dani, I’m not mad. You didn’t know, I know that. I just…”

  She stepped back, pulling out of his arms, leaving him leaning there…confused.

  “Let’s make eggs?” She walked to the counter where he’d been working, wiping up the mess and grabbing the eggs out the fridge.

  Jace just stared, watching her bustle around the kitchen. She was hiding something. Still. Sensing it was something big, something he probably didn’t want to hear, he wanted to let it go. He couldn’t. He followed her around the island, placed his hands on her waist and pulled her back to him, stopping her frenetic cleaning. He leaned forward, whispering in her ear. “Whatever’s still bothering you, tell me. Let’s get it all out now, Dani.”

  She froze, every muscle in her body tensing up. He felt her deep intake of breath before she turned around to face him. “I did know…what happened to you in Afghanistan. I’ve seen it in dreams, repeatedly, for the last two years.”

  His body tightened, his jaw locking in place as he stepped back, distancing himself physically even as he tried to distance his heart. And the hits just kept on coming.

  “There’s more… I saw it when it happened, maybe before it happened, I’m not really sure. I called Jenn…before you came home… I called and asked her if you were okay. I woke her up, she was confused… She said you were fine. And I guess you were…then. You came home after that, but she didn’t call me. I just kept dreaming it, feeling the pain, seeing the explosion. I could even smell the smoke. I thought I was having recurring nightmares. And then, at the pool…”

  “You saw the scars.” At least this explained the tears. She knew what happened, saw the proof with her own eyes. And she couldn’t handle it.

  Without another word, Jace turned, walking to the front entry and grabbing his boots. Once they were on he walked out the front door, climbing onto his bike and riding away without ever looking back.

  Chapter 38

  Dani watched him go. She stood in her kitchen and watched him walk out her front door, her heart breaking a little more with every step he took. She wanted to scream, “Wait! I’m sorry.” She wanted to call back the words, to never have said them. But she didn’t, couldn’t. He needed to know whom he was getting in bed with. He deserved that much…the truth.

  She slowly went upstairs, the little puppy on her heels. As she felt her heart crash to her feet, she realized that she had been holding on to a tiny sliver of hope, even as she’d known the outcome. She had wanted things to work between them, had hoped that he would be able to forgive her. The last of her hope had walked out the door with Jace.

  She headed to the bedroom, falling onto the bed. She waited for the tears to come. More tears. She had cried more since coming home than she had in the rest of her lifetime put together. When her eyes remained dry, she wondered if she was just cried out. Maybe she had already used her allotment of tears; maybe she was done. Or maybe this was one hurt that was so deep, so painful, that she couldn’t cry yet. She fell asleep before she ever found her answer.

  * * * * *

  When she woke the next morning, she jumped right into action. She called Goodwill, arranging to have everything picked up Monday morning. She booked a hotel for Monday night. Her house would be empty by then. She arranged for the trash to be picked up Monday afternoon, then called the property management company and got the name of a realtor.

  When all that was done, she headed back up to the attic. Jenn and Bri would be home tomorrow, and she would leave on Tuesday. Just a few more days and she could go. Maybe this time she would finally be able to put Jace behind her.

  Through everything she remained dry eyed. It occurred to her late Saturday night that she recognized this feeling. She had felt like this six years prior, when her parents died. She wasn�
��t handling it well; she wasn’t handling it at all. She was numb.

  She sent up a silent prayer that she could stay this way…at least until she was back in L.A.

  * * * * *

  Sunday afternoon, she picked up Jenn and Bri, taking them straight back to their house. She smiled, hugged them both, laughed at some of the stories they told. She made all the appropriate responses. As they pulled up in front of the house, Jenn finally asked what she was doing the next day.

  Dani wasn’t ready to deal with the reality, so she deflected with sarcasm. “What, tired of your new hubby already?”

  Jenn rolled her eyes as Brian chuckled in the backseat. “No…but we have years together…you leave in two days. We need to go do something.”

  Dani sighed, hating to deflate her friend’s plans. “Can’t. I have people coming tomorrow.”

  “People?”

  “Yeah…the realtor, the trash company and Goodwill. By tomorrow afternoon, my house will be empty.”

  “Oh.”

  The tension level in the car rose infinitely with just that one syllable. Finally Jenn asked, “So, you’re not coming back, are you?”

  Dani knew what she meant, but she tried to lighten the mood. “Of course I’m coming back. I’ll just have to crash in one of your bedrooms. Until you guys fill them up with kids, anyway.”

  Jenn smiled, leaning over to give Dani one of those long, drawn-out hugs. The kind that say more than words can ever express.

  Pulling back, shaking her head, Jenn quickly swiped at her face. “Okay, so then we’re sending you out in style. Tomorrow night, Hooligan’s. I’ll call everyone in the morning. We can all use one more good hangover before you bail on us.”

  Dani breathed past the tightness in her throat, hoping Jenn would attribute the tear to her leaving. “Sure, tomorrow night. It’ll be fun.” She plastered on a smile, though her face felt too tight. Apparently it was good enough to fool Jenn, at least for now, because she and Bri climbed out and headed into the house.