You Can't Go Home Again

by Aubrianna Hunter

  She eagerly crawled down the bed, desperate to have her hands, her lips on him. To feel his hard, velvet length. She circled the tip with her tongue, dipping into the wet slit on top, finally wrapping her lips around the head.

  She heard him suck in a deep breath, just before he grabbed her hips and yanked, spinning her around until she was lying on top of him. Her sex pressed against his lips and waiting tongue.

  He didn’t keep her there long. With her mouth on his shaft, she could feel his heat, feel his seed rising up. After just a few minutes, she heard him groan as he spun her around once again. This time, he never even let her catch her breath before burying himself inside her in one long stroke.

  Dani wrapped her legs around his waist, crying out at the feel of him filling her. On his second thrust her orgasm finally broke over her, shattering her with an intensity she would have thought impossible. She screamed his name, her nails gouging into his back.

  As she came apart, her wet heat clenching Jace’s shaft, holding him inside her, she saw Jace grit his teeth, his hands digging into the bed. Somehow, to her amazed delight, he held on, staying his orgasm as he thrust inside her.

  As Dani hit one peak, he pushed her past it and right into another. She felt him pushing into her, fast and deep and hard. Her body left one orgasm and ran headlong into another before she could even catch her breath.

  She scraped her nails down his back until she reached his ass, digging her fingers into the tender flesh to spur him on. As she rolled over the next summit, she screamed out, tossing her head forward to bite his chest as he arched over her.

  * * * * *

  Her nails in his ass was too much. When her body contracted again, making a tight little fist around him, Jace let go, throwing his head back and groaning out his pleasure. When her teeth sunk into his chest, he cried out again, coming longer and harder than he would have ever dreamed.

  Chapter 42

  Jace wasn’t sure whether they fell asleep or passed out. He woke up sometime later, not sure what woke him. He felt her shiver and pulled the blankets up over them, taking the time to straighten them out a bit. Then he set an alarm, and pulled her close to him.

  He felt her against him, soft and warm in sleep, her body relaxed and trusting. Knowing that she wouldn’t hear him, would never know, he had to say the words he’d been holding back.

  He whispered in the darkness, “I love you. I will always love you. I’m sorry for causing you so much pain. You should never have to suffer. No matter how much I want you to stay, you deserve happy dreams, not the horrible memories I have, the angry jackass I’ve become. Tomorrow morning, when I tell you goodbye, when I say things to hurt you, it will hurt me too.”

  He pulled her close, his heart finally at peace just for having said it. He drifted off to sleep, more content than he could ever remember being.

  * * * * *

  Dani woke to the most god-awful noise. Something was…squawking at her? When she felt the weight of Jace’s arm across her waist, she remembered where she was, remembered their lovemaking the night before. When she looked around, saw the blankets, she realized he’d set an alarm for her. And it was horrible. He finally roused, smacking a hand out to stop that terrible racket. She watched him, sleepy eyed, hair messy, smiling softly against the pillow. As he rolled to face her, she saw his eyes go soft and warm…right before they turned to hard green stone. They looked very much like the emeralds the color mimicked.

  She sucked in a breath, determined to keep her cool. Flipping back the blankets, she stood, rushing around to grab her clothes. She made it all the way to the bathroom before the first tear fell.

  She took a quick shower, struggling not to think about last night, forcing herself to think about the morning’s schedule. She needed to get dressed and get back to the hotel. Jenn would be there within the hour for a quick coffee before she flew out. She borrowed Jace’s comb; digging into her purse for a little bit of makeup, she decided that would have to do. By the time she emerged, she felt a little more in control.

  * * * * *

  Jace had taken the time to get dressed, and while Dani made some coffee he washed his face and brushed his teeth. By the time he caught up with her in the kitchen, she was ready to leave. She looked across at him, clearly unsure of what she should say.

  Hating what he was about to do, but knowing it was for the best, Jace waited until she headed to the door before he said anything.

  He leaned in, gave her a quick peck on the cheek, and said, “Thanks. It’s been fun. Maybe we can catch up again, the next time you’re in town.”

  He watched her blue eyes flash with pain before they glossed over. When she smiled back at him, her lips were tight but her eyes were dry. “Yeah…maybe. We can have dinner or something. Although I think if I decide I want sex, I’ll call Zack next time. See what I’ve been missing all these years.”

  He gripped the door, sure he would break it if he squeezed any harder. He’d deserved that, had expected something like it. He still hadn’t been prepared for the pain or the rage. He struck out without thinking. “Good…let me know how he rates compared to me.”

  She gasped softly before backing out the door. She smiled, a quick, sardonic little smirk. Then she turned on her heel and left.

  Jace watched her walk away, not entirely sure whom he hated more…Dani or himself.

  Chapter 43

  She got through the morning, had coffee with Jenn, loaded the car and drove to the airport. She checked her bags, turned in the keys, and grabbed another coffee while she waited for her flight. Then she bought a book, chatted with a couple other passengers, and finally got on a plane.

  When she got off the plane in L.A., she grabbed a taxi, got her bags upstairs and opened the front door. She even made it all the way inside. She didn’t shed a tear until she saw Nina sitting at her kitchen table with two cups of herbal tea, waiting.

  And then, despite her best efforts, one lonely tear slid down her cheek. That was all she was going to allow. She was done crying over that asshole.

  She told Nina everything. They ended up staying up all night watching stupid movies. No chick flicks, no tearjerkers, just brainless comedies. When morning rolled around, they had both fallen asleep on the couch.

  After some coffee, Nina headed home and Dani showered and went to go check in with her boss. She didn’t really need to go back to work until the next day, but she didn’t want to sit around her apartment alone.

  Stan was thrilled to see her, told her that nothing got done right with her gone. She knew he was exaggerating, but it felt really good to be needed, even a little bit. She spent the rest of the day at work, not rolling home until close to eleven. By then she was exhausted. The combination of stress, jet lag and lack of sleep had finally caught up with her. She crawled into bed in her underwear, setting the alarm to get up at five. She wondered briefly how long it would take before L.A. felt like home again.

  * * * * *

  After more than a week at work, Dani was starting to settle into the routine. She felt almost human, almost normal again. Her plant had died while she was away, no big surprise, so she bought another one on her way home on Thursday. It was already looking sad, so even that was returning to normal.

  The realtor had called her with an appraisal amount for her house. All she had to do was call her back and decide on a sales price and she would be done. She couldn’t bring herself to do it. She knew she couldn’t go back to Austin, didn’t even really want to, not now. But L.A. still didn’t feel like home. And, until it did, she didn’t want to sell her house.

  It took almost three months before she found the courage.

  Chapter 44

  “What do you mean you’ve already got an offer? That’s impossible! You just listed it on Monday!”

  As Dani listened to the realtor on the other end of the line, she tried to calm her racing heart. It took months to sell a house, even a year sometimes, especially in this economy. Unless, of course, you wer
en’t completely sure you wanted to sell it. Then it sold in two days, apparently.

  She had a buyer, a cash buyer, who was willing to pay the asking price. No haggling, no lower offers. He wasn’t even asking her to pay any closing costs or do any repairs. This was every seller’s dream. All she had to do was sign the papers to accept the offer.

  “Wait, I’m sorry…what did you just say?” She couldn’t have heard what she thought she’d heard. When the realtor, Karen, stopped and asked which part, Dani realized she had tuned out right at the beginning of the conversation. “I’m sorry… I guess all of it.”

  She went home that night still in a daze. Karen had faxed her paperwork, and she had accepted an offer on her house. In roughly thirty days, she would no longer own that house. Her family’s house…her home.

  She had mostly settled back into Los Angeles. It still didn’t feel like home, but she had decided that might never happen. She was content here, if not happy. There was even a guy at work who had asked her out a few times. She was still working up the nerve to say yes, but she was sure she would get there eventually. Maybe having the house sell was exactly what she needed to move on with her life. To really move on.

  There was only one little hitch. The new buyer wanted to meet her in person. Something about not trusting people unless he could look them in the eye. Since he was a cash sale, no loan approval, it would be stupid of her to say no. That’s what Karen had told her, and logically she agreed.

  She had to go to Austin.

  After a quick call to Jenn, making arrangements to stay there, she called the airport. It was still a few weeks away, but fares were better when you booked in advance. She would be there one day. One day and two nights. Just under thirty-six hours. She could surely avoid Jace for thirty-six hours.

  It might even do her some good. Give her a chance to say goodbye to her childhood home, and even give her some practice in how to sneak in and out of Austin. She wasn’t joking about Jenn being the only “sister” she had. She was going to come see their kids when she and Bri got around to having them. So…this would be a good test run.

  She repeated all of this over and over in the next few weeks. She kept hoping that if she said it enough, she would finally start to believe it.

  Chapter 45

  If getting on the plane had been hard, getting off in Austin was pure hell. But she did it, pasting a phony smile on her face and trying desperately not to think about her last trip here.

  She looked around for Jenn, finding her easily enough. It was late, almost eleven o’clock here, so there weren’t that many people flying in.

  Jenn had been thrilled to hear she was coming to visit, although she had tried to talk Dani out of selling the house. Several times. So, Dani was fully expecting to rehash that conversation on the way back to Jenn and Bri’s house.

  Jenn was unexpectedly quiet about the subject, sticking to funny little anecdotes about her students instead. By the time they got to Jenn’s house it was almost midnight, so they both went straight to bed.

  She didn’t sleep. She tried, lying in bed all night. The last time she looked at the clock on the nightstand, it was already after four. Needless to say, when she finally dozed off, she really didn’t want to get back up.

  When she headed in for coffee, she was surprised to see both Jenn and Bri standing there.

  “Hey, not that I’m not happy to see you, but don’t you people have jobs or something? Somewhere you should be?”

  Jenn chuckled, smiling over at Brian. “Told ya she was cranky in the mornings.”

  Dani grimaced a little and turned toward the coffeepot. After her first few sips and one long, deep sigh, she turned back again to see them sitting at the table reading the paper.

  “Okay, less cranky now…still confused. Seriously, don’t you have to go to work?” She glanced over at the clock, noting that it was after nine already.

  “We took the day off,” Jenn answered.

  “Why? I’m not here to socialize—this is just a quick, turn-around trip. You didn’t need to do that.”

  Jenn raised her eyebrows, quirking her mouth in a look Dani was quite familiar with. “Dani, you’re selling your family home today. I think this is going to be harder on you than you think it is. So…we’re going with you.”

  “Jenn, I told you I’ll be fine. Really. This guy just wants to meet me face to face before this closes. Something about trust, and wanting to hear about the house from someone who lived there. It’s just a formality type thing. No biggie. I’m going to meet him at the house, walk him through and then he’ll go sign the final papers. My lawyer and realtor will take it from there.”

  Jenn was nodding. “I know, I know. We’ve already talked about all this. But, it will make me…no, it will make us both feel better, if you have some support there in case this is tougher than you’re expecting.”

  Dani rolled her eyes, smiling in spite of herself. She wasn’t going to talk them out of this. “Fine. Then let’s go get some breakfast first. I’m hungry.”

  * * * * *

  As they pulled up in front of the house, Dani felt her breath catch, just a little. As Brian pulled to a stop, she climbed out, looking at the porch, empty now except for a welcome mat. Had the realtor put that there? Maybe as a selling feature?

  Since they were the only ones there, she figured the buyer must be running a little late. As she stepped away from the truck, heading over to sit on the porch steps, the front door opened.

  And Dani’s heart fell straight to her feet.

  “Danielle.”

  Jace’s voice rumbled through her, making her nerves tingle and her eyes burn. After a few deep breaths, she pushed the anger to the front, forcing the pain back into hiding.

  “You’re the buyer.” At his nod of confirmation, she started shaking her head. “I should have known. I should have known you wouldn’t just let it go. You’d have to do something else to hurt me.”

  She didn’t even realize she was stepping forward as she spoke, her voice escalating as five years of pain and frustration finally boiled over. “You couldn’t just let me sell my house, move on with my life. Couldn’t let me even try to forget you. Oh no! This time, just ignoring me wasn’t enough! No, this time you had to buy my house. And then, you had to drag me back here so I could see you in it, to know that you’re living in my home! What, Jace, was this your last-ditch effort to make damn sure I never come back to Austin?”

  She was up on the porch, just a couple feet away from him. Jenn surged forward, trying to get to Dani, but Brian grabbed her arm, stopping her before she could go. Dani never saw it, never saw the look of confusion on Jenn’s face, nor heard the whispered, “You knew?” she directed at Brian. She never saw his quick nod. She was too lost in fury and pain. Nothing was going to stop her from finally venting her wrath.

  “Please stay.”

  Nothing…except that.

  She froze, backing up a step at his whispered words. Even as her eyes welled with tears, the venom kept coming. “No… I tried that last time, remember. I thought we had decided that on my next visit it was Zack’s turn. Didn’t you want me to give you some notes? Some pointers? Maybe I’ll give him a call right now.” She pulled her phone out of her pocket, turning to head back down the stairs. “You can take your meeting, your ‘cash buy’ for that matter, and go fuck yourself!”

  She never saw him move.

  * * * * *

  At the mention of Zack, Jace finally lost the tenuous grip he had on his temper. He’d known she’d be furious, had expected it, but this was beyond fury. She was lashing out, absolutely irate. She wouldn’t hear anything he said. So, he sprung into action.

  He knocked the phone out of her hand, sending it skittering into the grass. When she spun around, her hand lifted to strike, he grabbed her wrist, bending down and throwing her over his shoulder in one lightning-fast move.

  He turned, marching back to the house while she screamed and pounded on his back. While Jenn and Bri
stared in shock, Jace slammed the door behind him.

  Then he dropped her, unceremoniously, onto her ass.

  The short humph sound she made when she landed brought a quick grin to Jace’s face. He leaned against the wall and watched as she scrambled to her feet, her face letting him know that more screaming was forthcoming.

  He watched…as she searched for the words that would verbally eviscerate him.

  He watched…as she finally began to notice her surroundings.

  Chapter 46

  Dani finally noticed the house. There was a little table in the entryway. A little white table shoved against the wall with a dish for keys. The entry and hallway were freshly painted, a warm yellow, just a shade off from how it had been when her parents died. She spun on her heel, seeing the couch in the living room—a sofa and love seat, looking homey and inviting, with a rustic white coffee table in the middle.

  The furniture was clearly new, but homey and warm in the shabby chic style she loved. The hardwood floors had been buffed and polished, gleaming like new, but with all the dings and scratches she had made over the years. When she looked up the stairs, she saw pictures, framed and lining the walls.

  She tossed a quick glance over her shoulder and saw Jace leaning against the wall with a smirk on his face.

  “What is this?” she asked while she walked up the stairs, looking at each of the photos. When she saw them, really saw them, she felt the tears starting to surface again. She turned back to Jace, running her finger along the edge of one picture. “These are all of us?”

  Jace kind of nodded and shrugged all at the same time.

  She kept going, up the stairs.

  He knew he had her attention when he heard the soft intake of breath, followed by a whimper.

  She turned, walking down a few steps before collapsing backwards as her knees gave way. “My parents. You have a picture of my parents up there.”