Life Or Something Like It

by Annie Lyons

  ‘Kit Kat?’ said Jesse.

  ‘I have to go,’ said Cat, throwing her phone to one side and dashing towards the woman. ‘Oh my goodness! What happened?’ she cried.

  ‘We were jumping off the side,’ sobbed Ellie. ‘And Daisy slipped.’

  ‘They shouldn’t have been doing it,’ said the woman rather obviously. ‘Someone should have told them to stop.’ The accusation was made with such force that it was almost as if the woman had slapped Cat.

  Daisy was clutching her arm and screaming in pain. ‘Well thank you for your help,’ said Cat, wishing that the woman would leave. ‘Daisy, can you hear me?’ Daisy continued to wail at a considerable volume.

  ‘I think she might have broken her arm,’ said the woman, placing Daisy gently on the bench.

  ‘Is she going to die?’ cried Ellie, fresh tears springing to her eyes. She clutched her friend’s foot dramatically.

  ‘No, no, she’s not going to die, Ellie,’ said Cat.

  ‘What happened?’ cried Finn, rushing over to join them.

  ‘We were jumping and Cat should have told us to stop,’ reported Ellie.

  ‘She was on her phone,’ said the woman, nodding her head towards Cat.

  Cat suppressed murderous thoughts. ‘I’m so sorry, Finn. It happened so quickly.’

  Finn wasn’t listening. He knelt next to Daisy, stroked her hair and talked to her very gently. ‘Now listen, Daisy Doo, I know it hurts but you have to be brave, okay? We’re going to go to hospital and the doctors are going to make you better, all right?’

  Daisy’s frightened screaming had lessened, becoming more of a squeaking sob. Finn kissed her gently and she gave a little shiver. ‘Your beard is tickly, Uncle Finn.’ He kissed her again and she gave a little giggle. Cat had to concede that she was watching a master in action.

  ‘Come on, Daisy Doo,’ he said, lifting her carefully from the bench.

  ‘Shall we come?’ asked Cat. ‘I could drive you so that you can sit in the back with Daisy?’

  She could tell that Finn wanted to decline her offer. Cat could see that he was furious with her and she couldn’t blame him. But he could see the sense of what she was suggesting too. ‘Okay,’ he said. They didn’t speak on the way to the hospital, except in relation to Daisy’s comfort. The poor girl was being very brave and had to endure Ellie singing in order to ‘soothe’ her. Cat would have preferred a strong dose of morphine to Ellie’s Frozen songbook but was grateful for the distraction. Charlie sat in the front, scowling and staring straight ahead.

  They didn’t have to wait long to see a doctor in A&E. Daisy was given some painkillers and a splint and her X-ray confirmed that it was a fracture to her wrist. Luckily it was a simple fracture and two hours later she was happily showing off her plaster cast, seeming much happier with the world. Finn still hadn’t really spoken to Cat, who sat miserably in the waiting room with a surly Charlie and a tearful Ellie.

  When Daisy reappeared with Finn, they made a huge fuss over her and Ellie promised to decorate her arm with stickers and flower designs.

  ‘Shall I take you home?’ asked Cat.

  ‘I need to pick up my car from the park so you can drop us back there, thanks,’ said Finn. It was said in such a cursory, unfriendly way. Cat knew he was still angry but couldn’t say anything in front of the children. They drove back to the park. She got out to help Finn and Daisy from the car. Once they were on the pavement, she knelt in front of Daisy.

  ‘I’m so sorry, Daisy.’

  Daisy looked at her with wide eyes. ‘Okay,’ she said.

  Finn took her hand. ‘Come on, you,’ he said, turning to go.

  ‘Finn?’ called Cat. He turned to face her, his expression blank and serious. ‘I’m very sorry,’ she said, looking into his eyes.

  Finn’s face was deadly serious. His blue eyes were devoid of any of the humour and warmth from earlier. ‘If you say so,’ he said. ‘Come on, Dais,’ he added, placing a protective arm around his niece’s shoulder.

  The little girl glanced back towards her. ‘Bye, Cat!’ she cried with a toothy smile.

  ‘Bye,’ said Cat, watching them go. They were all quiet on the journey home, Charlie frowning out of the window, his anger simmering just below the surface, Ellie forlorn and worried about her friend. Cat felt completely out of her depth; she was used to solving problems, not creating them. She was starting to realise how much of her life was out of her control now and wondering if she would ever get it back.

  Chapter Nine

  The next day, Cat returned to her brother’s house with a fresh sense of purpose. If there was one thing that she was good at, it was putting a positive spin on the world. She had refused Andrew’s offer of a bed for the night. He was sympathetic and understanding about the incident with Daisy, but she still felt the blame and guilt like a stone in the pit of her stomach.

  She had returned home, taken the shower that she had missed that morning and put on a clean pair of White Company pyjamas. One of the things that disturbed Cat most about the change to her circumstances was the ease with which she had transformed from social butterfly to a stay-at-home, pyjama-wearing caterpillar, covering her body in a sleepwear cocoon. She had found that there was something about looking after children during the day that made you want to spoil yourself with comforts in the evening. It was a worry but she told herself that as long as they were Egyptian cotton with a thread count of at least four hundred, she was not letting her standards slip.

  Cat poured herself a glass of wine and reached for her phone. She had realised, since her enforced sabbatical, that this need to connect with the world via the medium of a perfectly designed gadget was an automatic, almost reflex action. She’d taken it for granted as a vital part of her working life but without work to justify the hours spent reading, sharing and liking, she was starting to question its necessity. Cat recognised a hunger in herself, a need to be part of something, and the urge to connect was all-consuming. It was an odd, itchy feeling as if she were missing out on something by not participating. She could only imagine what Finn would make of that.

  Immediately her mind was distracted as she recalled the look he had given her before they parted and she felt a renewed sense of guilt. Then Cat remembered Finn’s ice-cream text from earlier that day. She had his number - perhaps she should call him? He might have calmed down and be ready to accept her apology. Cat searched her phone and retrieved the text, staring at it for a while before highlighting his number and creating a contact, then immediately wondering why she had done this.

  She took a sip of wine. Her finger hovered over his number. He would probably ignore her call and it would go to voicemail. If so, should she leave a message? What would she say? Oh, hi, this is Cat, you know the one who caused your niece to break her wrist. Just phoning to say soz and megalolz. No, leaving a message was not a good idea. Then there was the chance that he might answer and still be angry. Cat felt bad enough as it was. She didn’t need another dose of judgement from Finn. The whole thing frustrated her intensely.

  Cat wasn’t a woman to hesitate when it came to decision-making. She always knew what to do; she thought clearly and acted accordingly. Eventually she cast her phone to one side and tried to distract herself with back-to-back episodes of Sex and the City. Images of Daisy’s forlorn face kept popping into her mind, followed by Ellie’s sobbing form and finally Charlie’s dark mood. She had tried to talk to Andrew about Charlie earlier that evening, but he had been distracted by Ellie, who finally lost the plot when told that she couldn’t have another biscuit.

  Andrew had seen her to the door and as she turned to kiss him goodbye, Cat noticed how weary he looked. At least she could go home. He had to stay and deal with that day’s fallout.

  Cat arrived early at the house the next day with a plan. She handed her brother a takeout coffee.

  ‘I stopped off at this fab coffee place I know. Thought you could do with a little treat,’ she said with a smile, noticing the dark shadows under h
is eyes.

  Andrew yawned. ‘Thanks, sis. That’s very thoughtful.’

  Predictably, Charlie was in his room and Ellie was watching cartoons. After Andrew left, Cat called them down to the lounge and switched off the television. Ellie stared up at her whilst Charlie looked at the floor. Cat stood in front of them.

  ‘Okay,’ she said, feeling strangely nervous. ‘I think it’s time that I was honest with you.’ Charlie raised his eyes slightly. ‘The truth is,’ she began, ‘I don’t have the first clue about kids. I’ve never wanted any because – ’

  ‘You don’t like them,’ said Charlie.

  ‘Actually, no.’ Charlie looked up at her. Cat could tell that she had his full attention. ‘I just like being on my own. I like doing what I want to do.’ She could tell from Charlie’s face that he understood this. ‘And to tell you the truth, when your dad asked me to look after you, I was scared.’

  ‘Scared? Of us?’ giggled Ellie.

  ‘A bit,’ said Cat. ‘But more scared because I don’t know how to look after kids and as you can see, I’m pretty crap at it.’

  Ellie guffawed. ‘You said “crap”!’

  Cat nodded. ‘Anyway, what I’m saying is that I don’t have all the answers or know all the right things to do. It was my fault Daisy fell yesterday and I shouldn’t have got involved in that stuff in the park with those boys, Charlie. I’m sorry.’ Charlie gave a small nod of acknowledgement. ‘So you have to understand that I might not have a clue what I’m doing but I’ll do my best if you’ll help me.’

  ‘We will!’ cried Ellie, bouncing up and down like an overexcited spaniel. ‘Won’t we, Charlie?’

  Charlie shrugged. ‘I guess.’

  Cat smiled. She knew it was a risk being this honest with them. Ellie was easier to predict but there was always a chance that Charlie might turn it to his advantage and start to play up. So far so good though. ‘And I also thought that we should try and help your dad as Mum’s away at the moment. How about we start by sorting out the house?’

  The children looked unsure. ‘Is this where you turn into Mary Poppins and do that magical cleaning thing?’ asked Ellie.

  Cat laughed. ‘Not exactly but I thought that maybe if we all helped and did a good job, we could go for a treat – whatever you two fancy.’

  Charlie and Ellie exchanged glances before they chorused. ‘Can we go to the funfair up at the park?’

  Cat’s heart sank but a deal was a deal. ‘If it’s what you want to do then yes.’

  Charlie and Ellie fist-pumped the air. ‘Yessss!’

  The laptop on the coffee table started to buzz. ‘It’s Mummy!’ cried Ellie, opening and expertly flicking it into life.

  Melissa’s cheery face beamed at her daughter. ‘Hey, cupcake,’ she said.

  ‘Hey, Mummy,’ cried Ellie. ‘I miss you!’

  ‘I miss you too,’ said her mother. ‘What are you up to?’

  ‘We’re here with Auntie Cat,’ said Ellie, holding up the laptop so that her mother could see.

  ‘Hi, Melissa,’ said Cat, giving a small wave.

  ‘Oh hey, Cat, how are you doing? Thanks for helping out with the kids and sorry about your job.’

  ‘Oh no worries. How’s your dad?’ she asked and then wished she hadn’t. She wasn’t sure how much the children knew.

  ‘Not great,’ sighed Melissa.

  ‘Sorry to hear that,’ said Cat. She wished she hadn’t started this topic of conversation. ‘Do you want to speak to Charlie?’ she added, guiding Ellie towards her brother with the laptop.

  ‘Hey, Charlie,’ said Melissa.

  ‘Hi, Mum.’ Charlie’s voice was dull and flat. Cat decided that she would let Melissa deal with this one. ‘I’ll say bye for now, Melissa, and let you talk to the kids,’ she added, extricating herself from the room. ‘Take care.’

  Cat had always had a faltering relationship with her sister-in-law. They got along fine but she always sensed that Melissa judged her for rejecting motherhood in favour of a career. It was never said but Cat sensed it. She left the lounge and went upstairs to fetch some washing. As she heaved the mountain of laundry downstairs, she couldn’t quite believe that she was washing her brother’s pants, let alone his children’s as well. She felt disproportionately proud as the reassuring sound of water filling the machine told her she had been successful. She was retrieving the hoover from the cupboard under the stairs when Ellie appeared, her face teary and sad.

  ‘I miss Mummy,’ she said.

  Cat looked down at the little girl. She wasn’t a great hugger but some hidden instinct took over now. Nervously, Cat knelt down and opened up her arms. She was almost surprised when Ellie walked into them and felt a strange calm descend as her niece cuddled into her. ‘And she misses you too but she’ll be back soon.’

  ‘When Grandpa dies?’

  It was a simple question – heartbreakingly simple. ‘I think so.’

  ‘That’s sad,’ declared Ellie. Cat couldn’t deny this. Ellie spotted the hoover. ‘Can I help with that?’ she said. One thing Cat was learning about Ellie was that she was easily distracted.

  An hour later, the house was looking almost tidy and clean. Ellie approached every task with boundless enthusiasm, which unfortunately resulted in a full bucket of soapy water being upended when she tried to mop the kitchen floor with a little more gusto than required. Charlie had to be coaxed but turned out to be something of an expert when it came to dusting. Cat opened every window and managed to hang out two loads of washing to dry. She cleaned the bathrooms and changed the bedding too. When she was satisfied that their work was done, she turned to the children.

  ‘Let’s hit the funfair, shall we?’

  Going to a funfair was pretty high up on Cat’s top ten list of things she never wanted to do. Other items on this list included having all her teeth extracted without an anaesthetic and walking down the street naked. Still, a promise was a promise and there was something about the look on Ellie’s face when she spotted the merry-go-round that made Cat sure she was doing the right thing. She also felt a little more prepared than she had on their outing into London. Having taken advice from her brother, she had packed a healthy picnic, water and sun cream, and would allow the kids one sweet treat later.

  Cat was starting to realise that every child-friendly venue during the summer would include at least one or possibly all three of the following: screaming children, crying children, irritable children. She felt as if they had hit the jackpot today as the combination of adrenaline-fuelling rides, sugar and hot weather was delivering all three. She watched as one particularly overwrought child threw herself onto the ground and began a textbook tantrum; her watching mother looked as if she felt like doing the same. However, Charlie and Ellie were displaying none of these symptoms as yet. Cat prayed that she could keep things this way.

  The first ride the children wanted to go on was the dodgems. Cat was relieved to see there was a relatively short queue. She paid the man, who was heavy on tattoos and attitude, and stood back to let the children through. He glanced at Ellie before turning his steely gaze to Cat.

  ‘You’ll ’ave to go on wiv ’er. She’s too small,’ he said.

  ‘But – ’ Cat began.

  ‘Nah buts, eeva you git orn or she don’ go. Simples.’

  ‘Come on, Auntie Cat,’ squeaked Ellie, grabbing her arm. ‘I’ll drive.’

  Reluctantly, Cat climbed into the tiny car alongside her niece and wondered where she was supposed to put her knees. The next five minutes were some of the most terrifying of Cat’s life. To describe Ellie’s driving as devil-may-care was an understatement. She kept the accelerator to the floor at all times and steered with an alarming gung-ho attitude. She crashed into anyone who got in her way and if someone crashed into her, she pursued them until she had exacted revenge, like a tiny, ruthless assassin. As Ellie careered into car after car, Cat noticed, with shuddering fear, that she would close her eyes and utter an ‘Eeee!’ of pure delight. When the whole hea
rt-stopping episode was over, Cat climbed gratefully from the bumper car, her legs numb and her pulse racing.

  ‘Ow was that fer you, Duchess?’ laughed the dodgem operator. ‘You can ’ave anuvva go fer free, if yer like.’ He winked conspiratorially at Ellie.

  ‘Ooh can we?’ cried her niece.

  ‘Maybe later,’ said Cat.

  ‘That was cool,’ said Charlie. ‘Can we go on the waltzer now?’

  ‘Okay,’ said Cat uncertainly. Really she wanted to have a lie-down and then perhaps a strong gin and tonic. The waltzer was followed by the House of Horrors and a vomit-inducing ride called Orbit, which was basically a pole with chairs fitted around it that repeatedly shot the riders into the air before plummeting them towards the ground and potential death. Charlie and Ellie declared it to be ‘awesome’. Cat struggled to keep her breakfast down.

  After lunch, she suggested they try some of the games. They were eye-wateringly expensive but Cat didn’t care so long as she got to keep her feet on terra firma.

  They tried their hand at knocking down cans, kicking footballs and shooting ducks. Charlie won a football but Ellie became increasingly frustrated when she couldn’t manage to win anything.

  ‘Can you help me, please, Cat?’ she asked.

  There was nothing Cat loved more than a challenge but it had been a long time since she had tried to win anything at a fair. ‘Okay,’ she said. ‘I’ll have a go at the shooting but I can’t promise.’ Cat shouldered the fixed rifle and looked through the lens. She took a deep breath and fired. Missed. Damn it. Stay calm; it’s just a flipping duck. She fired again. A direct hit. Buoyed, she fired again. Missed. Bugger. You had to get two out of three to win. She looked up at the stallholder. He was about to go on a break and was being replaced by the man from the dodgems. Brilliant, thought Cat, all my Christmases have come at once.

  He grinned when he saw her. ‘Aw bad luck, Duchess. Better luck next time.’

  Cat looked down at Ellie who was trying but failing to conceal her disappointment. ‘Sorry, Ellie.’