Journey to Happiness

by Barbara Cartland

“Just the same – ”

  “Look, I’ll let you into a secret, old boy. Females aren’t like us. No really, they aren’t.

  “They’re not raised to stand by principles of duty and honour like we are. They are practical. They make the best of things and Hugh’s rolling in money. He can probably afford to stay abroad for a long time and who’s to know the difference?

  “I dare say they will all settle in one of those Eastern countries where nobody will mind about his harem!”

  The next moment the Honourable Jimmy was lying on his back on the floor covered in whisky. Robin had knocked him flat before storming out of the casino.

  Afterwards Robin had only the vaguest idea of how he managed to return to the yacht. At first he headed his steps away from the harbour, but after an hour he turned back and walked without noticing where he was going. Somehow he reached his destination and climbed up the gangway without mishap.

  As he undressed for bed he found that the walk had calmed him. Perhaps it was the effect of breathing in cool, clean air after the smoky atmosphere of the casino, but now he could see Jimmy’s ramblings for the nonsense they were.

  ‘How could I have taken such drivel seriously, even for a moment?’ he thought, managing to smile at himself. In this more cheerful mood, he fell asleep.

  But he awoke sharply an hour later, sitting up in bed, overtaken by a memory of something that had seemed innocent at the time, but now froze his blood.

  On the day that they passed through the Straits of Gibraltar he had spent some time on the bridge with the Captain and then gone in search of Harriet, whom he had found in the saloon with Martina and Hugh.

  Looking through the saloon windows he had seen Hugh, sitting between the two girls with an arm around each of them, while they all laughed together.

  He could see that Martina was speaking. Through the glass he could not hear what she said, but as he pushed open the door he caught her final words.”

  “ – wife number two.”

  No, it was nonsense, he tried to tell himself now. She could not have said that. It was an hallucination born of his disordered brain.

  But then he remembered Hugh speaking, less clearly than Martina, so that only a few words had reached him.

  “– fight over me.”

  And the three of them had laughed together again.

  At the hideous possibilities raised by his memories of that snippet of conversation, sweat stood out on Robin’s brow and he jumped up from his bed.

  He went back out on deck and stood gazing up at the stars, which had once seemed so romantic to him. Now they only seemed to swing coldly overhead, unyielding, almost threatening.

  *

  Robin was first into the breakfast room next day, desperate to see Harriet’s face and read from it whatever he could.

  The first expression he saw was one of sweet concern.

  “Dearest, are you ill?” she asked, laying a hand on his arm. “You are so pale and you look as if you haven’t slept a wink.”

  “It’s true, I slept very badly,” he told her.

  Already her manner was bringing relief. This darling girl, whose whole attention was for him, could never be the cynical harlot of Jimmy’s story. It had all been a bad dream.

  “We all slept very badly,” Hugh added, arriving in the saloon just in time to catch the conversation. “I am haunted by the thought of all that cash on board. It kept me awake all night.”

  As if to prove it, he yawned, just as Martina entered.

  “I was awake all night too,” she joined in. “Gloating.”

  “For the last time, will you allow me to lock all that money in the safe?” he demanded.

  “For the last time, no,” she replied firmly.

  He glared. She glared back. Although no openly hostile words were spoken, the atmosphere between them remained fraught for the rest of the day.

  At the railway station they caught the train to Nice where they did some sight-seeing.

  Nobody really enjoyed the expedition. Martina and Hugh were annoyed with each other. Robin was troubled by his thoughts and Harriet was unhappy because of the atmosphere she could detect amongst the others.

  They spent the afternoon strolling around an art gallery. The ladies ambled ahead while the two gentlemen fell back talking.

  Robin was mentally struggling over various ways to start what he wanted to say. ‘I say Hugh, I met an old friend and guess what he’s saying about you – ’

  But that did not sound quite right.

  Somehow the talk turned to Robin’s reasons for fleeing England.

  “You will have to worry about match-making until the day you marry,” Hugh observed.

  “I am not the only one who has suffered from matchmaking Mamas,” Robin parried. “You must have attracted your own share.”

  “And I am very good at fending them off,” Hugh said firmly.

  There was a brief silence during which Robin struggled with himself. He had told himself that he must be strong and dismiss Jimmy’s lurid stories.

  But after a tense moment he could not stop himself saying,

  “Isn’t it time you thought of getting married yourself, Hugh? After all, you will need a son to carry on your title.”

  “I would never marry for such a reason,” Hugh answered quietly. “It has to be the right woman or none at all.”

  “But how can you tell if a woman is the right one?” Robin asked, trying to sound casual, although sweat was standing out on his forehead.

  “If your heart doesn’t tell you, nothing else will,” Hugh replied. “And if I cannot marry the right wife, I would rather be left with no wife at all.”

  This should have been reassuring, but in Robin’s tortured mood everything he heard sounded ominous.

  They were mostly silent on the way home. Everyone was tired and by common consent they dined aboard the ship.

  When the meal was over Robin climbed out on-deck to smoke a cigar. Harriet briefly considered following him, but decided against it. His uncertain mood was beginning to make her feel nervous.

  After a while she came out with Hugh and Martina and they leaned on the rail, looking up at the Palace on the hill.

  “The Captain tells me that there is to be a presentation at the Palace tomorrow,” Hugh said. “I could always put our names down and we could attend.”

  Martina gave a little choke of laughter. Her mood had improved.

  “I do not think that would be a very good idea,” she replied. “Imagine how it would sound when we are announced. Sir Hugh Faversham, Lady Faversham and Lady Faversham!”

  Hugh gave a delighted chuckle and Harriet too joined in the merriment.

  “No!”

  The wail of agony from the shadows made them all turn. Robin was standing there, his face deadly pale and distraught, his eyes wild.

  “So it is true,” he cried, stepping closer. “I would not believe it when he told me. But the whole ghastly thing is true.”

  “Who told you what?” Hugh demanded.

  “Jimmy Parker!”

  “Good grief, if you are going to believe anything that clown says – when did you talk to him?”

  “Last night. I returned alone to the casino. And I did not believe it when he told me that you had married two girls in the same service. But it’s true, isn’t it? Two Lady Favershams.”

  “Now look – ” Hugh began.

  “I have heard you joking about it and not understood because I trusted you.”

  “And so you can – ” Hugh tried to say.

  “Can I? Can you look me in the eye and tell me that there was no wedding ceremony?”

  “There was, but – ”

  “With two brides?”

  “In a sense, but – ”

  “In a sense.” Robin seethed. “That’s it, isn’t it? It can be any sense you want. How convenient!”

  “Robin,” Hugh urged sharply, “be careful what you say.”

  “It was only a way of helping Harriet
escape her dreadful stepfather,” Martina intervened. “He was trying to force her into a terrible marriage. It had to be a sham wedding with some doubt about which of us Hugh was really marrying.”

  “Which of you – ?” Robin echoed aghast. He stared at Harriet. “Are you his wife or not?”

  “I – I don’t know,” she stammered. “Nobody knows.”

  “So it could be either or both? Lady Faversham and Lady Faversham. I believe you were enjoying a joke about it only a few moments ago.”

  “Robin,” Hugh stated firmly. “There is no Lady Faversham.”

  “You mean you hope there isn’t. You hope the Archbishop will sort it out for you, but suppose he cannot. You will find yourself married to one of them. But which one, eh?”

  “If you will allow me to explain – ” Hugh began angrily.

  “I want none of your explanations,” Robin retorted hoarsely. “How could any of you take part in such a shabby charade?”

  “Because we had no choice,” Martina added sternly. “Who are you to judge? Where were you when we needed help?”

  “Who am I to judge?” Robin whispered, his eyes fixed on Harriet. “Harriet do you hear me? I am the man who loves you and who wants to marry you. But how can I marry Lady Faversham?”

  “You have now said enough,” Hugh told him.

  “Yes, I have. I have said enough, I have seen enough and I have heard enough. I cannot bear the sight of any of you any longer.”

  Turning, Robin began to run away from them.

  “Robin,” Harriet screamed. “Come back. Please don’t go.”

  But he was hurrying down the gangway and could not hear her. She burst into tears and Martina gathered her into her arms.

  “I am afraid that young man’s manners leave a great deal to be desired,” Hugh commented angrily.

  “Oh, Hugh, please go after him,” Harriet begged. “I could not bear him to come to harm.”

  “He is more likely to get drunk,” Hugh fumed.

  “Please!”

  “All right, I will follow and calm him down. Don’t worry, ladies. Everything is going to be all right.”

  He left them and after a moment they saw him going down the gangway and racing off after Robin into the darkness.

  Harriet wept against Martina’s shoulder.

  “Come along,” Martina soothed her. “You heard what he said. It is going to be all right.”

  “But how can it be? Robin blames me, I know he does.”

  “Well, he decidedly has no right to,” Martina said crisply.

  Inwardly she hoped that Hugh would manage to knock some of the nonsense out of Robin before they returned.

  “Let’s go down to your cabin,” she suggested.

  Harriet allowed herself to be led away and in a few minutes they entered her cabin. Kitty fetched them some tea and then left them alone.

  “You can be sure that Hugh will explain everything to Robin,” Martina soothed her, “and he will understand that we had no choice.”

  “I don’t think that will make any difference,” Harriet said forlornly. “You heard what he said. He thinks it’s shabby. In his eyes he thinks I am – besmirched.”

  She burst into tears again as she uttered the terrible word.

  Martina tore her hair.

  “Well if he thinks anything so stupid, you are well rid of him,” she declared. “I never met a man who annoyed me more.”

  “But I love him,” Harriet wept.

  “Then you have windmills in your brain.”

  “But love is without reason,” Harriet cried passionately. “You have told me so yourself. That’s why you used to say that you would never let yourself fall in love. You said Reason was better.”

  “I once talked a lot of nonsense,” Martina ventured, thinking fondly of Hugh. “Besides, I fell in love with a reasonable man, so I have the best of both worlds.”

  “You do love Hugh, don’t you?” Harriet queried shyly.

  “Oh, yes, of course I do. I cannot imagine why I did not realise it before, but since we have been together on this trip I have seen things about him I never appreciated. Now I cannot imagine how terrible it would be if I could not marry him.”

  “You mean if he turned out to be married to me?” Harriet asked.

  “No fear of that. Don’t forget it is my name on the marriage certificate. Wait! Why didn’t I think of it?

  “If we show the certificate to Robin that will at least allay his fears that you might be the one legally married. That is what he is really afraid about, that he might find himself in love with a married woman, as then he would have to go away and not see you again. Where is the certificate?”

  “I – I don’t know. I am not sure that I have it.”

  “Didn’t the priest give you one?”

  “Yes, but I – ”

  “And we came away immediately afterwards, so you must have packed it in your luggage somewhere. We must look.”

  “Oh, yes, let’s find it and all may still be well.”

  They began to turn out the drawers, tossing clothes in all directions in their urgency to find the missing certificate.

  “Can I help you?” came a voice from the doorway. Kitty had returned.

  “We need to find something urgently,” Martina told her. “It’s a marriage certificate. Miss Shepton brought it on board when she arrived.”

  “A marriage certificate – ?” Kitty repeated, looking uneasily between them.

  “Between Sir Hugh Faversham and Miss Martina Lawson,” Harriet said, oblivious to Kitty’s startled face.

  “Yes, miss,” Kitty mumbled faintly.

  She got to work and since she was more organised than either of the others, it was she who finally produced a piece of paper from the back of a drawer.

  “This looks like it,” she crowed triumphantly. But then she glanced at it and her face fell.

  “I’m sorry miss, I’m a bit confused. You said Sir Hugh and Miss Lawson, but it says here, Sir Hugh and Miss Shepton.”

  There was a freezing silence.

  “That’s impossible,” Martina mumbled at last.

  With shaking hands she took the certificate. But there was no mistake. The bride’s name was given as Harriet Shepton.

  Martina sat down because her legs were already giving way beneath her.

  This was impossible.

  It had to be impossible.

  Harriet sat beside her and took the certificate in her own trembling hands.

  “I don’t understand,” Martina said. “They wrote the certificate from what it says in the register and you signed my name there, so my name should be here.”

  Harriet gave a little gasp and buried her face in her hands.

  “Harriet?” Martina asked urgently. “You were supposed to sign my name.”

  “I know, I know and I meant to – at least, I thought I had – but everything was so confused and I was so nervous and I just – I think – oh, dear!”

  “Oh, dear!” Martina echoed.

  “But does it really make any difference?” Harriet asked. “I made the responses in your name when we stood at the altar, so now if it says my name – surely that adds to the confusion?”

  “Yes, in a way,” Martina said, trying to derive some comfort from this thought. “It’s just that – ”

  It was just that there was something very definite about words on paper that she had not realised until now. The certificate said that Harriet was married to Hugh, so did the register. As for the responses – who was to say who had said what?

  When it all came to be sorted out, there was every chance that Harriet would be declared Hugh’s wife. The written records said that she was.

  Martina’s blood ran cold. How could her plan, which had seemed so clever and easy at the time, end like this?

  It was just not possible. She could not, must not lose him.

  But in her heart she knew that the worst was possible and she could feel the pain creeping over her.

 
; “Am I married to Hugh?” Harriet whispered.

  “I am afraid you might be,” Martina muttered slowly.

  “Oh, Martina I must go away. I cannot stay here on this yacht with either Hugh or Robin.”

  “You are right. Neither of us can. We have to leave at once. We can jump on the train to Nice and then catch a train from there to – anywhere. We don’t have to return to England, we can travel for a while and nobody will know where we are. But we must escape.”

  Escape, escape. The word pounded in her brain. Hugh was married to Harriet and she could not stay near him, loving him so. It would break her heart to leave him, but it must be done.

  “Shall I come with you?” Kitty asked. “You’ll need me if you’re travelling.”

  “Yes, we will,” Martina agreed distractedly. “Then you had better know everything.”

  Briefly she explained about the double ‘wedding’ and the confusion. Kitty wasted no time with exclamations, but nodded sympathetically and said,

  “I will pack some things.”

  “Not too much,” Martina said. “We must travel light. While you’re doing that, I must write a letter.”

  She hurried next door before her emotion overcame her. She sat down and tried to calm herself enough to write her farewell to Hugh.

  “Dearest Hugh,

  I love you and I always will. But while there is any chance that you and Harriet are married, I cannot stay near you.

  Harriet is coming with me and perhaps there is some way that you can sort out this mess, so that both of you can be free again. Then maybe there is hope for us and one day we can be together. I shall pray for that day with all my heart. But in the meantime, we must be apart.

  Goodbye, my dearest, dearest love. I shall never forget you or stop loving you.

  Your own true,

  Martina.”

  She had brought the marriage certificate with her. Now she placed it in the envelope with the letter, sealed it and then dropped her head onto it in a passion of sobbing.

  She dried her tears as Kitty came in to start packing some clothes for her and left the letter propped up against the mirror. Hugh would find it when he searched for her.

  At last they were ready. Quietly they made their way to the gangway and slipped down it like shadows. Nobody saw them.

  They began to walk in the direction of the station. As the road began to slope uphill, Martina turned and looked back at the ship where she had known such brief and intense happiness.