“That is what you said you’d do,” his father reminded him.
“But—” Cam snapped his jaw shut as part of a long-ago conversation with Ashley played back inside his head.
“Trevor didn’t break my heart. He broke my trust.”
“And that takes longer to heal.”
Cam had broken both her heart and her trust. Maybe Ashley did love him, but she was hurt and angry and scared, and if they were ever going to have a future together, he would have to earn her forgiveness.
And he knew that wasn’t going to be easy.
When Greg Stafford showed up at her door the Tuesday night before Thanksgiving, Ashley wasn’t just surprised, she was wary. She would say that she and the school principal had a friendly relationship, but she wouldn’t say that they were friends.
Her trepidation increased when he said, “I apologize for bothering you at home, but I wanted to keep this conversation unofficial.”
“Of course,” she agreed, opening the door to invite him in.
She offered him coffee, which he declined, obviously not wanting to prolong his visit—the reason for which was still a mystery to her.
“I don’t know how to delicately broach the subject,” Greg finally admitted, “so I’m just going to ask you point-blank. Is Cameron Turcotte the father of your baby?”
Ashley really wished he’d accepted her offer of coffee, because then she would be busy doing something and not just staring at him with a guilty flush staining her cheeks. “Where did you hear that?”
“It doesn’t matter where I heard it,” her principal said. “I’m asking you if it’s true.”
She’d told her principal about her pregnancy so that he would understand why she was taking a leave of absence at the end of the current school year, but she hadn’t given him any details. And she swallowed nervously before answering his question now. “Yes.”
“Are you going to marry him?”
She opened her mouth and, as if he knew that she was going to respond in the negative, Greg narrowed his gaze on her. “You might want to give that question some thought before you answer.”
“We talked about the fact that I wanted to have a baby,” she reminded him. “And you didn’t express any concern about the fact that I wasn’t married.”
“Because you led me to believe that you were going to pursue alternate methods of conception.”
“Why does it matter how I got pregnant?”
“It only matters if you’re having an affair with the father of one of your students, which you just admitted that you are.”
“Not having, had,” she amended, though she suspected that the relationship being in the past wouldn’t make a difference to her boss. “And we were both single, consenting adults.”
Greg’s sigh confirmed the fact. “Your personal life is just that,” he told her. “Until someone brings it to the attention of the school board or the trustees. If that happens, it might be difficult for me to justify your position at the Parkdale.”
She swallowed. “Are you threatening to fire me?”
“No.” He sounded as shocked as she felt. “You have to know how much I enjoy having you on my staff, and how much the kids love you. But if the details of your relationship with Dr. Turcotte were revealed, the matter could be taken out of my hands.”
“How did you find out?” she asked him.
“I got an anonymous phone call from someone. A woman. I don’t believe your personal life is any of my business,” he assured her. “But I couldn’t ignore what she told me.”
As soon as Greg said he’d spoken to a woman, Ashley instinctively knew it was Danica who had called. What she couldn’t guess was why. What did the other woman hope to gain by exposing Ashley’s relationship with Cameron? Or was it simply a power play—another chance to show Ashley that she still knew how to exert control over her ex-husband’s life?
Ashley had the opportunity to answer at least some of her questions when she went to Walton’s to pick up a couple of pints of ice cream the next day. It was her pitiful contribution to Thanksgiving dinner at Megan and Gage’s house—a gathering that would include, in addition to the hosts, Ashley, Paige, Gage’s parents, his brother and sister-in-law and their four kids, and Ashley and Megan’s mother and her new husband.
When Ashley had commented on the size of the guest list, her sister had assured her that there was room for Cameron and Maddie, too. But Ashley knew that wasn’t an option—not right now. She was still furious with Cam, still reeling from the fact that she’d barely had a chance to process the news of her pregnancy and he was threatening to sue for custody of a child who wasn’t even close to being born.
Yes, she’d been furious and hurt, but she shouldn’t have been surprised. Because, as her sister had so astutely pointed out, a man as devoted to one child as Cam was to Maddie would never turn his back on another. Maybe he’d misled her, but she was guilty of seeing what she wanted to see—or maybe not seeing anything beyond her own desires—and her reaction to his threat had been purely emotional and completely unreasonable.
Over the past couple of weeks, she’d finally accepted that she and Cam would need to find a way to work together for the sake of their child. And maybe they would find a way back to one another in the process. But first she had to get through the holiday.
While she was at Walton’s, she ran into Danica, who was also picking up ice cream to go. It was ironic that, only a couple of months earlier, Ashley had suggested to Cam that Maddie should see more of her mother. Now Ashley was wishing Cam’s ex-wife would just go back to England and stay there forever.
But she put a smile on her face and asked, “Are you in town to spend the holiday with Maddie?”
Danica nodded. “Just until Friday, then I’m back to Chicago, working on a corporate merger.”
“I would have thought something like that would keep you so busy you wouldn’t have time to stir up trouble for others.”
The other woman shrugged, not even bothering to deny the accusation. “It seemed obvious to me that something had to be done to propel you and Cam forward.”
“How does jeopardizing my job help either of us?”
Danica waved a hand dismissively. “They can’t actually fire you.”
“They could transfer me to another school.”
“If you married Cameron, they’d have no reason to transfer you.”
Ashley was as stunned by the suggestion as she was annoyed by the other woman’s machinations, and more than a little wary. The last time she’d been in town, Danica had focused her efforts on interfering in her ex-husband’s new relationship. Was it really possible that she was now trying to push Ashley and Cam back together? And if so, why?
“You’re assuming he’s asked.”
The other woman laughed. “I was married to the man once, remember?”
As if that was something Ashley was likely to forget.
“I know only too well how honorable and how committed to family he is,” Danica reminded her. “And if I had to guess, I would say that ‘marry me’ were the first words out of his mouth when he learned you were pregnant. What I can’t fathom is why you turned him down.”
Ashley still wasn’t sure that she should trust Cam’s ex-wife, but the other woman’s questions made her think, and made her wonder if she’d been too hasty in closing the door on a future with Cam. And though she’d had no intention of sharing her fears and concerns, she heard herself ask, “Would you want to marry a man who only proposed because you were pregnant?”
“I lied about being pregnant to get Cam to marry me,” his ex-wife informed her.
Her shock must have been evident, because one corner of Danica’s mouth lifted in a half smile. “He didn’t tell you that, did he?”
Ashley shook her head.
“I was in love with him. Foolishly, perhaps, because it’s obvious now that we were totally ill-suited for one another. But at the time, totally and completely. And when he started talking
about coming back here and doing his internship in Pinehurst, I panicked. It was as if I knew, even without ever hearing him speak your name, that if he came home, I would lose him.”
“So you told him you were pregnant?” Ashley was stunned by the audacity, then realized her own actions of late were hardly above reproach.
“And he, predictably, stepped right up to the plate,” Danica told her.
She didn’t know how to respond to this revelation; she didn’t dare let herself think about how differently her life and Cameron’s might both have turned out if Danica had never uttered those words. “What happened when he found out the truth?”
“He didn’t—not for a long time. I told him I’d miscarried—” she looked away, and Ashley knew that Danica wasn’t as blasé about her own behavior as she wanted to appear “—and he accepted that explanation.”
“And then you did get pregnant.”
Danica nodded. “And totally freaked. But he probably didn’t tell you that, either.”
She shook her head. “He said that the pregnancy was…unexpected.”
“Unexpected,” she agreed. “And unwelcome. I didn’t want a baby. Not at that point in my life or our marriage, not ever.”
“Why?”
“Long, boring story.” Danica waved a hand dismissively. “My mother was unreasonable, demanding and abusive. My grandmother was the same, but also a drunk.”
Ashley didn’t have any trouble reading between the lines, and she felt an instinctive surge of sympathy for the other woman. “You were afraid you would continue the cycle.”
“It just seemed smarter not to take any chances. And when Cam and I finally split, I knew the best thing I could ever do for Madeline was give custody to her father.”
“You let him think you didn’t want her.”
“I didn’t want her,” Danica insisted.
But Ashley saw the pain in her eyes and she knew what it had cost Maddie’s mother to give her up. She hadn’t left her child because she didn’t love her, but because she loved her too much to risk perpetuating the same kind of abuse she’d suffered. While the revelation didn’t make Ashley like Danica any better, it did help her to understand the other woman. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I’ve finally realized that it’s too late to undo the damage that I did to both Cam and Maddie, and I can see that you’ve helped both of them start healing.”
Ashley wasn’t entirely convinced of that, but Danica’s words gave her hope that maybe she and Cam and Maddie could all do some healing together.
Chapter Fifteen
Thanksgiving dinner at Megan and Gage’s was pure chaos, but in a good way. Having grown up with just one sister before Paige came to live with them, Ashley had never experienced a family meal that was quite so busy or loud or…fun.
She was immediately entranced by Gage’s four nieces. Although the girls ranged in age from seven to twelve and had very different personalities, each one was charming in her own way. But Ashley enjoyed watching the interaction between Tess and Craig, too, observing the little touches and subtle signals that revealed a deep connection and enduring affection even after four kids. She saw evidence of the same bond between Megan and Gage and knew that her sister had truly lucked out when she’d fallen in love with Gage and married into the Richmond family.
Paige caught her in the kitchen, where she’d escaped on the pretext of wrapping up some of the leftover food but was really trying to fight the melancholic mood that had overtaken her.
“What’s wrong?” her cousin asked, because she knew Ashley well enough to know that something was.
Ashley sighed. “I was just thinking about how lucky Megan is, to be with Gage, to be part of his family.”
Paige opened her mouth as if there was something she intended to say, but closed it again without speaking a word.
“Come on, Paige. It’s not like you to hold back if there’s something on your mind.”
“You don’t want to hear it.”
“I do,” Megan said, coming into the kitchen with another armful of dishes.
“I just think that, instead of feeling sorry for herself, Ashley should go after what she wants.”
“I’m not feeling sorry for myself,” Ashley denied.
“Please—I can practically hear the violins.”
“Paige,” Megan admonished gently.
“I don’t mean to be unsympathetic, but I had dinner last night with my friend Olivia—the one with the baby. She invited me over because she didn’t want to celebrate the holiday alone but she has no family of her own, other than the baby, and she’s had no contact with Emma’s father since she told him she was pregnant. She didn’t choose to be raising her child alone, but that’s how it’s working out.
“You made the decision to cut Cam out of your life, because I know that if it was up to him, he would be here with you right now. So if you’re feeling neglected and alone, it’s your own fault for not recognizing love when it’s staring you right in the eye.” And with that, she turned on her heel and stormed out of the kitchen.
“Well, that was quite a speech,” Ashley said, as surprised as she was chastised by her cousin’s outburst.
Megan slid an arm around hers sister’s shoulder. “I think Olivia’s really struggled with the adjustment from career woman to single mom, and it infuriates Paige that the father is doing nothing to help.”
“Because it reminds her of her own father.”
“Probably,” her sister agreed.
“But she’s right,” Ashley realized. “And the truth is, I don’t want to have this baby alone.”
“I don’t know why any woman in her right mind would,” Megan said.
“But I’m scared,” she admitted. “Cam and I have already screwed up our relationship twice. What if we try to make this work and screw it up again? Then we’re not the only ones who get hurt—Maddie and her sister or brother will suffer, too.”
“But what if you don’t screw it up?”
And Ashley realized she’d been so focused on the potential negatives, she hadn’t let herself fully consider the possibilities.
If she and Cam decided to work on their relationship and managed to succeed, then they could be a family. She would have everything she’d always wanted.
To say that Cameron was surprised when Ashley showed up at his door long after the turkey had been cleared away on Thanksgiving night would have been a colossal understatement. After their disastrous confrontation when he found out about her pregnancy, and his subsequent conversation with his father, he hadn’t made any effort to see her or talk to her. He’d been clear about what he wanted, now it was up to Ashley to decide what she wanted.
As he put on a pot of decaf coffee, he wondered if her appearance at his door meant that she’d made a decision. But she didn’t say anything until the coffee was made and he’d poured them each a cup.
“I thought Danica was in town.”
Her mention of his ex-wife was another surprise, and definitely not a topic he wanted to discuss again.
“Yes, she is,” he agreed.
“Is she here?”
“No, she’s staying at a hotel downtown. We decided that would be a better arrangement from here on in.”
“Oh.”
“Did you come here to see me or her?”
“You,” she said immediately. “And Maddie.”
“She’s in bed already.”
Ashley nodded. “I didn’t realize it was so late.”
“It’s not, really, but she had a busy day.”
“Lots of turkey?”
“And too much pumpkin pie.”
She nodded again, and he wondered if she felt half as awkward as he did. He wished he could go back a few months—even a few weeks—and change the way he’d handled things. Maybe then they’d still be together, looking forward to a future together.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said—the last time we talked,” Ashley told him. “An
d I realized that I needed to clear up some of your misconceptions.”
She wrapped her hands around the mug, stared into it. “When you found out I was pregnant, you accused me of only wanting a baby. But the truth is, after you came back to town, I never wanted a child so much as I wanted your child.”
Her words, even more than the fact that she’d shown up at his door, gave him hope that maybe a future together wasn’t completely out of reach, but he remained silent, cautious.
“And even if I hadn’t gotten pregnant, I would have been happy. I was happy—with you and Maddie.” She looked up at him now. “And I’ve been miserable without you.”
“We’ve been pretty miserable, too,” he admitted.
Those beautiful violet eyes filled with hope. “So…maybe…we could try again?”
It was what he wanted, what he hadn’t dared let himself hope for when he saw her standing at his door, but as eager as he was to assure her, this time he wasn’t agreeing to anything until he was sure they were on the same page.
“What is it, exactly, that you want to try?” he asked cautiously.
“I want us to be a family,” she told him. “You and me and Maddie and our baby.”
“Can I ask what precipitated this change of heart?” he asked, still cautious.
“I can’t blame you for wondering, and I want to assure you that it doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that I could lose my job, because—”
“What do you mean, you could lose your job?”
She flushed. “Oh. I thought you knew about that.”
“About what?” He frowned.
“It doesn’t matter,” she said, opting not to mention his ex-wife’s role in things. “My point is, deciding I wanted to be with you wasn’t a change of heart at all. It just took me a while to acknowledge what was in my heart.”
Which meant, if he was reading between the lines correctly, that she was—finally—admitting that she loved him.
“I would have told you about the baby,” she continued. “I don’t know how or when, but I never intended to keep my pregnancy a secret forever. I want my baby to know his or her father, and to know his or her big sister.”
The Pregnancy Plan Page 18