Let's Swing

by Piquette Fontaine

  I almost spit out my coffee. “Me? Are you serious? I just started doing this, I'm not sure I can...” “Nonsense, honey,” she interrupted me. “You have talent, I can see that in you. Your heart is in this, and I know I can carve you into a dancing perfection.” Did… did she just call me honey? Anyway, I could not hide my excitement. “This is why I called you to stay longer today, and it's basically why I'd like to work with you an extra three or four hours every week, for the next month.” I could not believe my ears. "Would you be up for it?" she asked in a serious tone. I just nodded nervously, not even taking the time to think it through. By the time it sank in, it was already done. "I know we can make it, you and I," my instructor asserted. "I just know it. I can feel it in you." A sense of anxiety came over me. I had never done anything like this before. But it was too late, I had already agreed. And besides, a part of me really wanted it. I just nodded again, forcing a smile. "I'll do it," my voice finally managed to get out. "It won't be easy," she warned me. "Prepare for some hard-working, sweaty hours." "I'll do it. I don't care how hard it will be, I want to become a real dancer," I concluded.

  Later that evening, it sank in completely. It overwhelmed me with excitement, but also gave me a spark of fear. Would I be able to do it? What if I disappointed Annabelle? No, I must not. The more I thought about it, the more I thought of the look in her eyes, piercing straight into my heart, haunting but also fascinating me. Somehow, I felt an incredible urge to impress her with my dedication, and with the skill I was about to acquire. It was almost as if she had me spellbound in both her seductive demeanor, as well as her apparent trust in my talent, as she called it. Then, it dawned on me. She was not trying to seduce me, she was showing me support. Her words, and the look in her eyes, everything – I knew those very well. It was just like Mitch, my big brother, so many years ago. I then realized nobody has shown me this level of support since Mitch. Annabelle was on my side, just like he had been so many times before. It was then that I remembered how long it has been since we last saw each other, let alone had a good talk over everything that happened. I decided I should call him.

  I realized all too late it was already way past 2 AM when he replied. “Who's this?” he asked in a sleepy voice. “Sis! It's you!” he exclaimed happily when I reminded him. He seemed wide awake already. “What's up?” I quickly explained to him what had happened that day. “I'll be over in half an hour, okay?” Heh. That was Mitch, all right. For a moment there, I got scared that he had forgotten about his little sister – despite we saw each other some time ago, when I moved in, many years had passed since we spent some quality time together. Things might have changed, right?

  Wrong. It was still Mitch, my big brother, and it seems like nothing can change that. When he arrived, he was dressed up pretty fancy – he must have found a really good job around here. But before I could even comment on his looks, his arms were around me, and he was kissing my cheek. “Look at you! My little sister, all grown up and becoming a star, eh?” He winked as he finally let go. I made an uncomfortable snicker, waving my hand at him in dismissal. “Let's not get ahead of ourselves, okay Mitch?” I responded. “Would you like a drink?” “Sure,” he nodded. “I'll have whatever you are having.” I fetched two glasses and poured us some juice from my fridge. “No alcohol for me, at least not for a month or so,” I explained. “I need to be in good shape.” “You look great, sis,” he complimented me before taking a sip of the juice. “How long have you been dancing? You should have told me, I'd come to watch you.” “Oh, wouldn't you like that!” I replied, finally managing to make a sincere laugh. Then I stopped, remembering that he might not be interested in women – at least not in that way. “Oh come on, sis! It's me, your brother! You know how I always loved to see what you do. But seriously, you look great. Better than just in good shape, you know.”

  I almost choked on my juice. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I demanded. “I mean, you look much better than when you were married. And much better than the last time I saw you. There is something… some nice sparkle in your eyes. And that smile on your face!” I honestly did not know where he was going with this. “Sis… I think you are in love.” My eyes widened. “What!” He sat back, making a wide grin. “Sis, I know you. You haven't had this many positive vibes around you since high school. Now tell me… who's the lucky dude this time?”

  I paused, trying to think about it. Perhaps he was right, in a way. Perhaps I had some emotions towards… well, the first person who sprang in mind was Annabelle. She was an incredible woman in every way, but was I developing a crush on her? I shook my head. “No, big brother. There is something else. As I told you before, I am dancing now, and I am getting prepared for some kind of competition. She didn't say much, she just...” “Ah-ha!” Mitch exclaimed, interrupting my sentence. “You found a girlfriend! Is that it?” I sighed. “Okay, that does it, Mitch. It's not that I found a girlfriend – besides, she is not interested in girls, and neither am I. You know that. Not in that way, at least.” “What is it then, sis?” he pushed on. “Look, I may look like I'm in love, but that's just because I'm so excited. Yeah, I guess, you may say I'm in love with exotic dancing. You know how much I always loved doing art, right?” He nodded slowly. “But you know… you might like her.” I ended with a grin now. He shook his head a little. “Nah, probably not. Besides, I don't have much time for girls right now.”

  “Is that so?” It was my turn to ask now. “What are you up to nowadays, then? Dressed up all fancy as you are, and you too have worked on your body as well. One might think you are hitting the big game nowadays,” I claimed, trying to tease him a bit. “I'm working for a fashion design company,” he replied in a more serious tone. “We could say I hit some big shots lately, since our stock market value grew by ten percent in the past six months.” I had no idea what that meant. “It means we are producing – and earning – a lot, sis. I won't bother you with numbers, but it does mean we are slowly getting rich.” “So you are a manager now?” I asked. “Nope,” he countered it. “I am one of the designers. One of the top five most-wanted designers in our company. Hey, you may say I'm doing art too – and making a manager's salary, at that. The best of both worlds, right?” That concludes it, I thought. He dismissed the idea of a beautiful woman, and he is working as a designer in a designer company… Mitch was most definitely gay, I thought. I did not say anything, as we had never had that kind of conversation before, but it did seem somewhat obvious to me, at that point. “Well, maybe one day you can design a dancing suit for Annabelle and me. What do you think?” “That would be awesome!” he replied, clearly interested in it. “I'll start working on the design as soon as I can.” “Whoa, hold your horses, bro”, I pulled him down to Earth again. “I haven't even had a single act yet, remember?” “Oh pshaw!” he waved his hand again. “You're having one in a month, and after that, sky is the limit. I know you'll make it, sis.” I got up and approached him. “Oh Mitch, you old fool,” I said, wrapping my arms around him. “I never really succeeded at anything. Don't get so carried away, please. You always gave me support and hope, but please, don't give me false hope, alright?” He put down his glass and embraced me back. “Okay, sis. But I still know you'll make it this time.”

  We spent the next few hours talking just about everything, telling each other our stories from the past few years. Much has happened, and somehow I wanted again to share it all with him. Now that I think of it, he was always the only man I could rely upon. Too bad he was my stepbrother. And apparently gay. I would have married him in the blink of an eye otherwise. We were not actually biologically related per se – oh dear, I sound like Annabelle now – but still, we were family. The only family I had, it seems.

  I woke up next morning on a sofa, my head in his lap. Gasping in surprise, I jumped off the sofa and looked at the clock. It was half past ten. “Oh my god, I'm late for work!” I screamed, when I heard Mitch's yawning. “What? Maddie, it's Saturday… calm down already, will you?”
he said in a sleepy voice. I crashed back on the sofa. “I'm sorry… I forgot, I guess. There's just so much going through my head right now.” I got up a little later, and made some breakfast. “Would you like a smoothie?” I offered. “Mitch?” No reply. He was sleeping again. I smiled – that was just like him. It was good to know that some things did not change, and even better to know that my big brother was one of those things.

  “I should really go watch you dance some time,” Mitch insisted, as I walked him to his car when he finally woke up. “Mitch, no,” I refused firmly. I was not comfortable with him watching me get lectured by Annabelle. If it had not been my big brother, I would have actually had less problems with it – he would have probably had his eyes fixed on Annabelle most of the time, letting me do my thing in peace. But somehow I knew his affection for me would take over, and he would probably not even notice the embodiment of sex appeal that was my instructor. I bid Mitch goodbye, after promising I would call him as soon as I had the chance. In all honesty, I was certain I would do it as soon as my next lesson would end, because I knew that I needed both Mitch's and Annabelle's support to get through this.

  “Alright, now bend, and up, and the leg lock. Again!” my instructor's voice echoed through the empty room later that day, for what seemed like a thousandth time. She was not joking when she said it was not going to be easy – the drill made me feel like I was in an army training. My whole body was sweating, and I loved every single moment of it. I had made a few routines almost perfectly, and now she used up the last twenty minutes of our lesson to repeat things she felt were most important for me. “Don't forget the talc,” she reminded me in a strict voice as my hands slipped a bit down the pole. I used the few seconds to catch a breath. This was exhausting, but incredibly satisfying. “Alright, Maddie. Fifteen minutes left. You are now going to follow my orders, and let's see how you can do some actual choreography,” she announced. Alright! The adrenaline rush in my body was so high at that time, that I actually looked forward to it, not even aware how difficult it would be. Of course, she would not use the entire fifteen minutes for it – but she probably wanted to use some leftover time to comment on what we need to do next.

  She turned on the music again and clapped her hands. “Start with kneeling, then climb. Go!” she ordered. I followed her every word after that, struggling to keep up with both the rhythm and her instructions. “Arch your back!” she ordered, clapping her hands once. I wished she would touch my back and help me with that, but I knew I had to do it on my own. After that, the next few instructions seemed easy. “Now the elbow spin… and air split!” We were past two minutes into the song, and I was catching my breath already. Her next few orders were easier – she probably noticed I was getting tired – but then she went harder again. Almost four minutes in now. She clapped again. “Alright, now bend, and finish on your own.” I bended, and the adrenaline rush just somehow prevented me from stopping. I did another figure, then one more. Then another one. She stood there, quiet. It did not matter to me. I was loving it. Five minutes in, the song was about to finish. I did an air split, and gracefully landed one leg, then another one, as the song finished. I saw Annabelle's wide grin. It was a “we are going to win this” grin. I approached her, smiling as well, and feeling incredibly proud of myself.

  Then I heard slow, but loud clapping behind us. We both turned around. “Mitch!” I screamed. “What the-?” “Sorry, sis,” he said. “I could not help myself. I had to see you and dear lord, you are so perfect at this!” he commended me loudly. “Uh…” I felt my cheeks turn a burning red. “Annabelle, this is Mitch, my stepbrother,” I said finally. “Mitch, Annabelle.” “It is a great pleasure,” Mitch bowed as he took his hand and kissed it in the most gentlemanly way. Sheesh, I thought. You sure changed, bro. “You should have not come here, sir,” Annabelle claimed in a strict tone, but I could see a smile escaping her face, clearly charmed by my big brother. She was almost twenty years younger than him and almost ten years younger than me but somehow her authoritative tone and posture made him step back and forget his act. “I am truly sorry, madame,” he said smoothly. “I wanted to pick up Maddie here.” Hang on, I thought. I never told him I would be here, or when and where my lessons in fact took place. I decided to keep quiet about it. “It's alright, I suppose,” Annabelle finally toned down her strictness. “But don't let it happen again, okay?” “Fine, fine. I will just wait outside next time, I promise.” “You'd better,” she swung her finger at him, half-joking. “Or else, I will be forced to think of some penalty for you,” she finished. We heard him laughing as we entered the dressing room. “I'm sure it will be worth it, though!” he shouted after us. “Your brother is pretty self-confident, isn't he?” my instructor inquired as we were changing. “I like him,” she concluded. “Well, too bad he is gay,” I whispered. She looked at me, puzzled. “Gay? Are you certain of that, honey?” she whispered back as she put her evening suit on. I could not help but notice her squint her eyes as we exited the dressing room, and entered the small café downstairs, meeting my big brother. Her eyes were saying “let's find out.” Well, I thought, if there was anyone who can find out for sure, it was Annabelle.

  “That woman is walking sex!” Mitch commented after we finished our drink with Annabelle and went for my apartment. I looked at him. “Is that so?” He nodded. “Yup” he replied shortly. “I now understand why you have the hots for her.” “I do not have the hots for her, Mitch!” I exclaimed, annoyed at the notion. “I am not bisexual, or gay, you know. Although I sometimes wish I was, you know.” He kept quiet for a while after this, probably understanding what I meant. I bet I would have been much happier living with a woman like her, than with that excuse of an asshole that my ex husband turned out to be. “I would really like to see your dance again.” Mitch told me as we went in. “Fine,” I agreed. “But not on my lessons, okay? I can't have you drooling over my instructor while I am trying to do something there.” Mitch chuckled at me dismissively. “Maddie, can I be honest with you?” “Sure,” I nodded. “Annabelle may look like a sex goddess. But for me, she is invisible when you are around.” I gulped. What was that supposed to mean?

  Suddenly, he approached me and gave me a kiss. Not a brotherly love kiss, like he used to but his tongue was completely in my mouth! I gasped in shock as he did… but then I just closed my eyes and returned the kiss. What the hell, I thought. We are not related. His hand squeezed my butt as he pulled my body tight against his, in what was probably the longest, and most passionate kiss I ever had with anyone. And it was with my big brother, no less! I pondered the absurdity of the situation for no more than a moment, and then I just gave in. I did not care. I loved him, and I knew he loved me. And besides… it was just a kiss. It was just his lips caressing mine, his tongue rubbing and twirling around my own, and my own tongue… my own tongue was in his mouth! I was more into this than I would have ever admitted it to myself. His hand was still on my buttocks, squeezing and massaging it gently, making me feel just how much in shape it had gotten and how much he liked it. I finally wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him still – no, his tongue was in my mouth again – and letting him express his feelings for me completely. His cheeks touched mine as he kissed me deeper, then again as I kissed him back, not letting our lips separate for a single moment. His other hand slid up my back just like Annabelle's would do when she would instruct me and continued up my neck. I could not believe how gentle and sensual my own stepbrother was, as his fingers went into my hair, pressing me against him even more, locking us still in that same kiss that started it all. “He is your brother,” a tiny voice in my head was still whispering. “You are not related, but he is your brother,” it whispered. I wished I could whisper “fuck off” back, but I decided to ignore it, being too busy exploring Mitch's mouth with my own tongue, and now his hair with my fingers.

  When we finally stopped, he pulled back a bit, but not in an embarrassed way. I returned to reality, one where he was still my big br
other, and was left speechless. “I'll be going now,” he said as he kissed my cheek, again in a brotherly manner. I crashed on my bed, not sure what to make out of everything. My stepbrother had just shown sexual affection, no less towards me, and I did not resist. I did not want to resist! I loved him, I trusted him, and if we had not been family, I was always sure we would have been a couple. But now… now it seemed all too real. My eyes slowly closed, fatigue taking over me making me fall asleep.

  For over a week, both of us pretended as if this never happened. I wanted to talk about it so much, but the more we spent time together, the more he seemed like my old big brother again. I was starting to wonder if this was all a big mistake, and whether he simply hadn't had the guts to apologize, or confront it in any other way. Sooner or later though, I thought, it had to be resolved. In the meantime, I focused on my dancing. By the end of the week, I bought my own pole, and had it installed in my apartment so I could practice on my own. Annabelle was pleased with my progress, but there were always flaws. She saw them, and I saw them too. We worked together on correcting those, but as she said, it was not always easy. In fact, it was never easy. I sometimes wondered whether she had made the right choice, but her words and gestures always managed to reassure me. She believed in me. And so did Mitch – and just for that, I was willing to let that Saturday evening go, for as long as he needed it to. At the end of the day, he had done little harm.