“What’s up yall? When’s the wedding? Damn. Yall two in here cuddled up.” Camilla rolled her eyes and finally moved.
“Nah, you already know it’s not like that, Xavier. Chill.”
“What is it like then, Cole? Every time yall together you’re all over her.” Frustration was peeking through and I wasn’t trying to hide it. Cole sighed heavily and stood to face me.
“And?” His tone alone was a challenge to me. I laughed a little and squared my shoulders.
“And that shit is disrespectful.”
“Why because you wanted to come in here and fuck her? Am I in your way? Or you think I’m already fucking her?” He looked over at Camilla whose face was red from embarrassment.
“Are you?” I asked him point blank.
“Nah, I’m not. Neither are you so calm down with all the macho shit.”
“Look, I’m going to check on the kids. I don’t wanna be involved in you two having a pissing contest. Nobody is fucking me but Alexander.”
“For now.” I shrugged as she walked all that ass by me. If Cole wasn’t standing there I would have grabbed it. Once she was gone, Cole and I were still standing there, eyeing each other.
“Why do you have such a fucking problem with me being friends with Camilla?” Cole asked me with a scowl. I’d learned to accept that as his permanent expression whenever Camilla wasn’t around.
“I don’t have a problem with you being friends with her. It’s how you interact that pisses me off.”
“You need to get over it. She’s my best friend.”
“Do you want to fuck her?” I asked him.
“I’m not actively trying to if that makes you feel any better. But she’s a woman so if she throws it at me at the right time, I might catch it. She might catch it.” He said as if he were imagining fucking her right then. I calmed my anger because I knew if I punched Cole in Camilla’s office she’d be pissed. I found myself missing Dempsey’s old ass a hell of a lot.
Dempsey wasn’t trying to fuck anybody. The motherfucker he left here in his place though? He was definitely trying to.
“Oh good, nobody started fighting.” Camilla’s voice broke apart the tension between Cole and I.
“Nah, never that.” His scowl shattered when he looked at her. Maybe she really was a best friend to him. Maybe I was being possessive. “I gotta get back over to the mayor’s office.” Cole said with an eye roll.
“Let me walk you out,” Camilla beamed. Cole held out two fingers in the subtlest gesture and Camilla latched on to his fingers with hers. I was going to let their little relationship go but after seeing that? Hell no, I couldn’t. I waited until they were out of sight before I went behind them. I saw his car parked on the side of the building and I watched them walk over to it.
Everything seemed normal and it made me think I was acting crazy again. Camilla had that effect on me. She was the only woman who drove me crazy the way she did. I would do anything for her crazy ass, including become crazy myself.
I was getting ready to leave when I saw them hug goodbye. As usual for those two the hug lingered. I watched his hands dip below her waist and cup her ass, causing her to laugh and push him away. He pulled her back over to him and glanced around before saying something to her. I recognized the arrogance in his expression because I often wore the same look.
Camilla bit her bottom lip and leaned in to peck his lips. Cole smiled, said something else to her and then got in his car and drove off.
I was waiting for her ass when she got back inside the building and she seemed startled by my presence.
“Xavier, what the fuck are you doing right here? Were you spying on me?”
“Why the hell are you kissing Cole?”
“Oh my God, Xavier we are not going to do this right now.” Her heels clicked on the floor as she headed toward her office.
“Yeah, we’re doing it right now.” I told her angrily. My blood was boiling in my veins. All that best friend shit was garbage and I was about to pull her cards. Camilla walked into her office and I followed her slamming the door until the walls shook, threatening to knock pictures of Chloe and Mason down.
“Xavier what the fuck is your problem! We are not together! You and I, Cole and I, Emmanuel and I. We are not together! I’m with Alexander. Stop acting like you have the right to check me. You don’t.”
“I do. And I will. So stop fucking lying to me about Cole.” I moved closer to her.
“I’m not fucking him! We flirt sometimes so what? I actually like flirting with someone that won’t go crazy any time I look at another man.” She was getting hot, I could tell by the way her neck flushed with color and her cheeks turned pink. I should have been focused on making my point about Cole but instead I was looking at how beautiful she was.
“You know why I go crazy, Camilla?”
“Because you still feel like shit for cheating on me and ruining our family?” Goddamn. I hated how quick she was with her tongue.
“No. Because I still love you.” I told her, putting my hand on her chest. I wanted to feel her heartbeat.
“I love you too but I don’t go crazy when you’re fucking other bitches.” I couldn’t help the laughter that came from me. She was serious too. I doubled over with laughter leaving her confused. “I don’t!” She squeaked.
“What?” I chuckled, holding my side. “You killed the last woman I fucked Camilla. You can’t be serious.” She avoided my gaze and shook her head in response.
“No. That was…different.”
“Whatever. When the fuck are you gonna understand that you love me the same way I love you? You might be crazier than me but you can’t deny our chemistry.” I kissed her cheek, then her neck until she was wiggling away from me. I pulled her back and ran my thumb over her full lips.
“Stop, Xavier.”
“Why? Because you think shit is going to actually work with Alexander? Fuck him. I told you I wanted you back in my life. I don’t care if it’s just fucking.” I could see her wanting to give into the way I kissed her but she was still fighting.
“We can’t.” Her voice was small and unsure. “He’s doing so much better.”
“So what? So you just wait until he fucks up then we can have sex again?” I sucked my teeth and pushed away from her frustrated. I loved Camilla with my entire soul but I wasn’t going to get pushed and pulled like a toy.
I was starting to understand Manny a lot more now. Camilla was addictive and crazy and she made you feel like the only one when you were in it and everything was crumbling around her but once shit was going the way she wanted she was cold as ice. She paused when she realized I was really mad at her and walked over to me.
“Xavier, I’m sorry.” She pouted.
“Fuck you Camilla.” I spat. “I was better off keeping my dick to myself.” I meant that shit too. She was driving me insane making me jealous of other men, wanting to fuck her and not being able to, and waiting on her to make up her mind about her fiancé, it was too much.
She tried to talk to me but I wasn’t in the mood anymore. I had Mary put my calls on hold and I went to talk to someone who would understand what I was feeling better than anyone. Emmanuel.
I knew I didn’t have a lot of time because he always had lunch with Camilla and it was coming up on the lunch hour pretty fucking fast. As if I hadn’t seen enough of his face, Cole walked past me when I got there. He paused in his stride and smirked.
“You still wanna fight, Pastor?”
“Fuck you, Cole. I came to see Manny.”
“He’s in a meeting, he’ll be out in a minute.”
“I saw her kiss you.” I remarked, still wounded from their peck earlier.
“Okay?” He shrugged. “Stop lurking and you won’t see shit.”
“You need to keep your hands to yourself.”
“Why? Am I touching your girl?” He frowned. I clenched my jaw knowing I didn’t have any ground to stand on. She wasn’t mine. Not like I wanted her to be. “Exactly
.” Cole scoffed.
“I’d bet anything yall don’t do that shit in front of Manny.”
“Don’t do what in front of me?” Manny stood behind us with his arms folded looking like a father who’d just caught his kids talking shit. “Pastor Sanders, nice to see you.” He eyed me curiously and since there were people buzzing around I knew he couldn’t be candid like he wanted. He had to play his mayoral role.
After he smiled and had small talk with a few people he ushered Cole and I into his office and closed the door. His smile dropped and he settled into his chair.
“What the hell is going on?” He barked.
“Pretty boy pastor came to see you. Probably needed to bitch about Camilla.” Cole said flatly, scrolling through his phone. He unnerved the fuck out of me the way he talked and never looked up, or when he did he was always frowning like he was daring anyone to say or do the wrong thing.
I was going to end up knocking him out. I knew it.
“What’s up Xavier? Is Cami okay?” It was always the first thing out of his mouth when I came to see him.
“She’s fine.” I sighed and had a seat. Cole stifled a laugh and shook his head. “Man, you have one more time to do some slick shit before I knock your tall ass out.”
“Do it, Xavier. You’ll get laid out on this fucking floor, I promise you.” He still didn’t look up from his phone.
“Keep talking shit and I will.”
“Why are you so mad, man? Is it because you’re just baby daddy dick for Camilla?” He was looking at me now, and laughing but it didn’t reach his eyes. I stood to my feet and so did Cole.
“Sit the fuck down. Both of you.” Manny sighed from behind his desk. “Cole you’re at work, Xavier you’re in the mayor’s office, you really wanna fight in here? Both of you are acting like fucking teenagers all over Camilla. Stop it.”
“Yeah, let me go do some work before I have to fuck him up.” Cole muttered. Anger pushed me in front of him until we were bumping against each other. We were seconds away from coming to blows when Manny yanked both of us back by our collars with a growl.
“Stop this shit!” He made us sit across from each other like we were in high school or something. “What the fuck is the problem with you two? Xavier why do you keep pushing this man? You know he shoots motherfuckers right?”
“So?” I frowned. “Am I supposed to be scared of a damn gun?”
“Oh god, Camilla must have golden pussy or something,” Cole groaned.
“Is that why yall are always going at it?”
“Yes.” Cole replied quickly. “He thinks I’m fucking her.”
Manny laughed a little and shrugged his shoulders. “I mean, come on Cole…tell me you don’t see why he thinks that.”
“I don’t.”
“Anybody with eyes would think you’re fucking her.” Manny reasoned. “Let’s not forget what I walked in on.”
“Man…” Cole rubbed his hand over his face and groaned. “We still haven’t fucked. I don’t care what anyone thinks. Besides, baby daddy over here doesn’t have a leg to stand on with Camilla. He’s not her man. He doesn’t need to whine about us all the time.”
“Us?” I laughed. “So you’re us now?” He made a noise of annoyance.
“He’s right too Xavier. You have no claim to Cami.” He looked from me to Cole and sucked in a breath. “So Cole, yeah you look a lot like you wanna fuck Camilla when you two are around and Xavier you don’t have any right to question him about it. We all understood? Stop all this stupid fighting shit. Do you know how many times you’re going to see each other? Does it make sense to fight every time?”
“No. I’m not trying to fight him, he keeps looking for it and he might find it though.” Cole said looking at me. “Camilla is my friend. She’s the only friend I’ve had in a long time. I love her; I’m not out here just trying to fuck her. If it happens it happens but I’d never stop being her friend.” He told me with sincerity. “I don’t wanna fight you man. You need to calm the fuck down though. You’re not the first dick Camilla has rode on, you’re damn sure not the last. The girl has an appetite like a man. My advice to you would be fall back, get yourself a girlfriend and watch Camilla fall all over you.”
I wanted to quip back at him but he was right. Camilla was like a man fucking over a bunch of women…what the fuck? Maybe I did need to focus my attention somewhere else.
“You know what Cole…you might be on to something,” I mused.
“He is. Go find you a girlfriend Xavier. Not a slut. A nice girl.” Manny remarked, placing a hand on my shoulder. “And don’t introduce her to Camilla until you’ve been with her for a while.”
“Yeah…she’s…” I laughed a little and shook my head.
“Oh, so she’s crazy too then?” Cole asked. Manny and I exchanged looks and laughed.
“Crazy. Yeah. Look, she blacked out on the last girl I fucked and beat her nose into her face…then…” I looked out of the window and sighed. I didn’t even want to get into it. I still felt fucked up for how Camilla did Jada.
“Say no more.” Cole held his hand up. “No wonder Camilla got yall going crazy…she’s insane. You know crazy girls have the best pussy.”
“Might be some truth to that.” I rubbed my neck and shook my head.
“Okay so, I was thinking we could do something different for lunch today.” Camilla walked in looking down at her phone. When she saw Cole, Manny and I she paused and grinned. “Hey!” She squeaked. Manny and I exchanged glances and I started the countdown.
“Three…two…one…” On my cue she was wrapped up with Cole like they hadn’t just seen each other an hour ago. Manny grumbled and went back to his desk.
“Why don’t you and Cole have lunch Cami? Let me talk to Xavier.”
“Okay!” She chirped. I watched him hold out his two fingers and she locked on as they walked out.
“How the fuck are you okay with that? Shit drives me nuts. I haven’t seen her that hooked on anyone since…” My words trailed off and Manny laughed, knowing what I was going to say.
“Since me?”
“Yeah. He has that same mind control shit,” I muttered.
“He does. You have to know how Cami operates. If Cole were to act like he wanted her, she’d pull away. Since he doesn’t, she loves it. She likes having a man that’s not pressing her out for pussy. You could learn a little something.” He jabbed. Instead of bristling at his words though I let them soak in. Camilla was all over Manny too and he wouldn’t give in to her. I was all over her and she pushed me away.
“Yeah fuck that shit. I need to find a girl.” I remarked.
“You do. You’re a good guy, you’re just too fucking crazy over Camilla.” Manny told me. “Step away from her. She’ll drive you crazy because she doesn’t know what the fuck she wants out of life yet. Why do you think I’m just sitting over here waiting?”
“Because you’re crazy over her too?” I laughed.
“Yeah, a little. But I know she’ll be back once she realizes what she wants.”
“Oh yeah?” I raised my brows at his confidence. He was always so confident with Camilla, like she was made for him and he knew it. “So let me guess…what she wants is you?”
“Of course. If I called her back in here right now she’d come no matter who she was with or what she was doing. She’ll always come back to me. She just needs to figure that out on her own.”
“So me and Alexander are pointless?”
“Yes.” He paused a beat, “I’m not trying to be a dick either, but all this shit is just wasting time as far as I’m concerned.”
“Maybe you’re right but you can’t deny that Camilla is in love with me.” A smile slowly inched across my face.
“She loves you…a lot.” He grumbled and shifted around in his chair. “She’s not in love with you though.”
“What makes you think that? I can see the way she looks at me. She’s in love.”
“She loves you because you have Chloe
together. She loves you because you’re the first man she ever loved but all the shit you did stopped her from being in love with you. Why do you think you’ll never be in a relationship with her again?”
I was tired of Manny plucking my life with Camilla apart by then. He was right in a lot of aspects and I respected his candor but my heart hurt just like anyone else’s and I could only hear so many times how I should step away from her or that she didn’t love me like I thought she did.
She was my heart. No matter how crazy I acted. I loved Camilla more than life itself and that was only cemented when she gave birth to Chloe. I knew we had a bond that was unbreakable even though I fucked up pretty bad I always had a space in her heart.
After Manny and I had our heart to heart, I went down to Cole’s office to see if I could pull Camilla away for a minute to talk to her but before I could even knock, I heard giggling. My knuckles hovered over the door as my eyes glanced over the nameplate on the door: COLE DUNHAM: CHIEF OF STAFF
Cole Dunham was probably minutes away from fucking the love of my life and I could either break it up or leave it alone. Just for old times sake though, I had to break it up. I wasn’t that fucking mature and over things.
I knocked on the door and I could hear rustling around and hushed tones, then Cole opened the door. The look on his face when he saw it was me was priceless.
“Seriously?” He groaned.
“I just need to talk to her for a minute. You can have her back.”
“First of all, this is not pass Camilla around, second, why the fuck are you always right around the corner whenever I’m hanging out with Cole?” She snapped.
“Hanging out?” I eyed her neck and while it wasn’t bruised from hickey’s it was flushed and splotchy and wisps of her normally immaculate hair were out of place. Small signs, but signs nonetheless that she’d been doing something with Cole. “Okay.” I laughed. “Come here for a minute.” She followed me out into the lobby and after staring at her for a while and seeing our daughter in all of her features, I hugged her.
She was caught off guard, and for a few seconds her arms just dangled at her sides, then she hugged me back.
“Hey, are you okay Xavier?” She frowned, holding my face in her hands.
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