“I’m good, baby. I just…look, I need to talk to you about some things.”
“Okay, I can ride back to New Grace with you.” She walked a little ahead of me so she could say goodbye to Manny and Cole and I got a chance to look at her ass bounce from side to side in the teal dress she wore. Thank god for Miami weather.
In my car, I could smell her familiar scent and it made me want to jump on her. I pulled into my parking spot at New Grace and looked over at her.
“We’re not having sex anymore,” I told her. “No more messing around. No more calling me when you want some standby dick. We have to stop this shit. It’s making me crazy. Maybe I should just back off. Find somebody to settle down with.” I rested my forearms on the steering wheel and stared out of the windshield.
Camilla placed her soft hand on my shoulder and turned my face towards hers. This was the shit that confused me. One minute she was pushing me away, the next she was touching me softly and looking at me with those eyes.
“Why are you talking like that, Xavier?”
“Because, I can’t have you when I want you…when I need you. I’m losing my shit every time you and Cole are around each other and for what? We’re not together. You said that yourself. Maybe it’s time for me to find someone to be with.” I pulled out of her grasp and looked at the trees in front of my car. “I’m just tired of the back and forth we’re always doing. I’ll make it easy for both of us and step away.” When I looked over at her, she had tears in her eyes. “Why are you crying?” I frowned. She shrugged her shoulders and fiddled with her fingers.
“Because it sounds so final. Like we’ll never make love again.” The tremble in her voice and the way she poked her bottom lip out was driving me fucking crazy.
“Yeah, that’s kinda what I’m saying Camilla. We have to stop at some point. You’re marrying Alexander right?”
She cut her eyes to the side and swallowed. “Yeah, you’re right. I just…” She shrugged her shoulders. “It’s hard to think about not being with you. It’s a part of our history. We go back and forth, it’s what we do.” She sniffled and rubbed my knee mindlessly but it was making my dick hard.
“I know I bitch at you a lot but knowing I can fuck you when I need a release is…comforting.”
“See Camilla, you’re doing it again. You’re working your magic on me.” I moved her hand from my knee to hers and pushed out a long breath.
“I’m not doing anything, it’s hard thinking about you being off limits and being with someone else. Giving someone else my dick…” Her eyes turned possessive and stormy. A look that I’ve seen many times before; usually it’s before she has a mood swing episode.
“Is it yours?” I asked her.
“Yes. Hasn’t it always been? Remember when I first fucked you?” In one motion she was straddling me in the driver’s seat. Just like the first time we fucked.
“Camilla, stop.” I groaned.
“Just one more time?” She purred before kissing me. Her titties were right in my face and it was so hard not to pull her dress down and free them so I could run my tongue over her nipples and shove my dick inside of her.
“At what point does this shit stop?” I asked her.
“Why does it have to? We’ve always done this Xavier.”
“Well I’m tired of it.” She was kissing me again, her tongue exploring my mouth and fuck it was so tempting. My dick definitely was with it. I couldn’t keep getting my head wrapped up in Camilla though. No matter how sexy she was, no matter how much I loved her.
“Xavier…” She breathed softly with my lip between her teeth. Instinctively my hands lifted her dress and cupped her ass cheeks. She didn’t have on any panties.
“Shit.” I cursed once my fingertips grazed her smooth pussy lips. She was so wet. I wanted to taste her pussy, I wanted to murder that shit. “What the fuck are you doing? Why are you acting like this?” I asked, trying to find safe ground for my hands.
“Because I’m greedy.” She admitted as she kissed my neck. “And I like knowing I can call you if I need you.”
“You like knowing you can get this dick when you want.”
“Uh huh.”
“Look…” I closed my eyes and laid my head on the headrest. “As long as I’m not in a relationship and your man is out of town we can fuck. Alright?” I couldn’t cut her off completely.
“Okay.” She moved her ass up and down in my lap and I fought the urge to grab it and slam my dick in her. “What about now?”
“No, Camilla. You’re acting insane right now. This is not how you normally are.” As much as I wanted to fuck her in my car, I knew something else was on her mind. She was crying out, just like she did when she was younger. I kissed her forehead and slid her off of me. She flopped in the passenger’s seat with a pout. “What’s going on?” I asked her once I regained some of the blood in my brain.
“Too much.” She folded her arms across her chest.
“You wanna talk about it? Or am I only good for therapeutic dick?” My remark pulled a little laugh from her.
“No, you’re more than that.” She was holding my hand now, and it felt good. It felt too good, like it did before we had Chloe and all I could think about was being her knight in shining armor.
“Yeah? What am I?” I asked, looking over at her pretty sparkling eyes.
“You’re my first love, Xavier. You’re the father of my firstborn. My friend. My lover.” Unshed tears glistened in her eyes. “God everything was so much easier when I just had you and Emmanuel to worry about.”
“Yeah, that seems like a lifetime ago.” I chuckled. I brought her hand up to my lips and kissed it.
“It was simpler. Now I’m engaged with two kids and I don’t know if my fiancé is faithful and I’m about to change my entire life just because I need this to work.” Her voice was thick with tears but she was trying so hard to hold on and not cry.
“You need this to work?” I quizzed.
“Yes. I can’t lose Alexander over cheating too…it would hurt too much. Like how does that happen twice in a row? Have a baby with someone and then they break your fucking heart and leave you with the baby and all these little pieces of who you used to be.”
“I didn’t just leave you with Chloe, Camilla. I take care of both of you.” My voice raised an octave. I made sure Camilla and Chloe never wanted for anything. She never had to ask me for money or to take Chloe. I got her religiously on the weekends and during the week. I gave Camilla money just because most of the time so to hear her say I just left her with a baby hurt and it pissed me off.
“I wasn’t trying to say that, Xavier. You’re an amazing father…”
“But?”
“But you still get to drop Chloe off most of the time and live your life.”
“Live my life? What life? You are my life!” I shut my eyes before I flew completely off the handle. “Camilla I love you and Chloe to death. I’ll never leave either of you wanting for anything. I know I broke your heart and I’m sorry. If we’re talking about my fucked up shit as your man then let’s talk about that. Not my parenting.” She looked at me with wide eyes and nodded quietly.
“I’m scared to lose him like I lost you.” She told me barely above a whisper. She had to be telling the truth because I could practically feel it in the air. It crackled with her raw sincerity.
“You didn’t lose me, I lost you because I was stupid. Alexander is stupid too. I can see that shit a mile away. I’ve been there. He’s trying to have his cake and eat it too. Only it’s harder to catch him because his other cake is in Montana.”
“You know, Emmanuel pointed out that Alexander has mended broken women before…” Her voice trailed off. “I just don’t want to be another broken woman that he mended and got tired of.”
“I don’t know how the fuck anybody could get tired of you. You’re crazy. It’s like dating ten different woman at once.” She punched my arm playfully. “Look babe, stop stressing over that shit. Camilla from
Trinity? She would have fucked his brother…” I paused for a laugh, “Never mind. You get what I’m saying though. Who’s this emotional Camilla? Where’s the fighter?” I nudged her with my elbow and she fought a smile.
“I don’t know. She’s tired. She wants to settle down.”
“I’m still available,” I grinned.
“I want to settle down and not worry about getting cheated on.”
“As much as I hate to say it…you’re only gonna get that with one person and it’s not Alexander.” She groaned and rubbed her temples; I knew she understood what I was getting at though. Shit, if she wasn’t going to be with me forever then there was only one other person that had my blessing. He didn’t need it, he’d damn sure never ask for it, but he had it.
That entire talk with Camilla drained the hell out of me. I’d never had to fight so hard not to fuck someone. Since I’d spent almost two hours in the car just talking to her, I had a ton of work to do once I got back in and so did she. We had one more near miss where she almost got bent over my desk but I narrowly escaped…just narrowly.
Camilla took the kids home and I took my ass to the bar. I needed a fucking drink.
Nick’s was packed due to a new karaoke night they were hosting to bring out a younger crowd. I thought it was bullshit. The only reason I stayed was because I didn’t feel like driving to another bar and anywhere on South Beach was going to be just as noisy.
So I sat my ass down and knocked back drinks until the noise didn’t bother me anymore.
“Long time no see!” A familiar voice chirped and the familiar face to go with it popped down in front of me, smiling.
“What’s up? You’ve been a stranger lately,” I told her.
“Yeah…trying to keep busy. Where’s Chloe? With Camilla?”
“Yup. Did you think I’d bring her to the bar?” I laughed a little. It was half funny and half liquor.
“No. Shut up. I was just asking.” We both glanced up at the karaoke stage and cringed at the girl who was singing.
“You going up there to perform?” I teased.
“Hell no. I was about to leave. I got my buzz, and I’m gone. It’s too fucking noisy in here. Plus everybody up there sounds like shit.”
“Yeah, no argument here.” I knocked back my last drink and looked at her. “Are you going back to your house or…?” Her head swiveled around to look at me curiously.
“Yeah Xavier where else would I go?”
“My place. I need a sober driver.” I laughed.
“Oh…okay.” Relief flooded her features. “I mean, sure. I can drive you home. I’m not an Uber but we’ll talk about how much you owe me later.”
“Here,” I slapped a hundred in her hand and smiled. Her chocolate eyes lingered on my dimples then she dragged her gaze back to my eyes.
“Ugh, I see why Camilla is always fawning over you. It’s definitely the dimples.”
“It’s a few other things too.” I noted as we walked out to the parking lot.
“I bet.” She climbed in and I couldn’t help my eyes from roaming over her curves momentarily. It was so fucked up but…damn.
I was so gone on the way home that trees and lights were blurring together and I had to close my eyes to stop from feeling like I was swimming instead of riding.
“Xavier, is it this street or the next?” Her voice woke me up long enough for me to point her in the right direction. I could only remember being glad that I didn’t have Chloe the next morning. This shit was definitely hangover worthy.
When the car stopped she shook my arm until I woke up. “Come on boy. God, you are so fucked up.” She tried to help me out of the car but she was too tiny. As soon as I got my bearings I stood on my own and stumbled into the house.
“Look in the fridge and get me a bottle of water please, sweetheart.” I stumbled toward the bathroom and hit the shower. I needed to sober up a little bit. When the water hit, it woke me up a little. I just stood under the shower head until it started running cold. By then I was able to walk out just fine, but I was definitely still fucked up.
“Your water is in there.” She pointed to the bedroom.
“Thanks, beautiful.” I smiled at her and went into my room to guzzle the water.
“I like your tattoos.” I turned around and saw her leaning against the door frame watching me as I dried off.
“What are you doing?” I blew out a breath and wrapped the towel back around my waist. Instead of leaving, she walked all the way in and settled herself on my bed.
“Enjoying the view.” She giggled, biting her full, glossy lip.
“Oh yeah? You better stop.” I grabbed a pair of cotton pajama pants and pulled them on under the towel so she couldn’t sneak another peek.
“Why?” Her voice was sultry now.
“Because we both know I have a crazy baby mother.” I sat on the bed since the room was starting to wobble and spin a little.
“I mean she is a little crazy.” She admitted with a laugh.
“A little? Yeah okay.” I lay flat on my back with my hands behind my head. “Look, you can stay in the guest room across the hall.”
“What if I wanna stay in here with you?” She asked in my ear. I could smell the liquor on her breath reminding me that I wasn’t the only drunk one. My eyes traced her curvy hips under the purple sundress she was wearing and the way her titties were begging to come out and play had me biting my lip.
“Um…eyes up here Xavier.” She laughed.
“Sorry, forgive my dirty mind.” I groaned and put my hands over my eyes before I got myself in trouble.
“I like your dirty mind. What were you thinking?”
“I was thinking that I’m drunk and this shit shouldn’t be happening.”
“Okay so what else were you thinking?” Her hands were already sliding up and down my chest.
“That you shouldn’t have on that sundress.”
“I shouldn’t?”
“Nah…” I chuckled with my eyes still closed. When I opened them, she’d lost the dress and was standing in front of me in a lacy black bra and matching thongs. Her body was dizzying.
“What the fuck?” I sighed, rising up on my elbows.
“You said I shouldn’t have it on, remember?” She giggled and climbed on top of me. “I used to always wonder what it would be like to fuck you Xavier.” She nibbled on my ear and pushed me back on the bed. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t imagining she were Camilla. It was the only reason I was able to get my dick hard.
Don’t get me wrong, she was fine as hell and definitely fuckable but that night I only wanted Camilla and if she were the closest I could get, I’d take it. As soon as I pictured Camilla on top of my dick like she was in my car earlier my cock was aching.
“Can I fuck you Xavier?” She asked, grinding her warm little pussy on my dick.
“Yeah.” I replied, instead of seeing coffee brown eyes, I saw green ones. Instead of dark hair, I saw sandy brown. I saw Camilla. She leaned down and kissed me, her lips were sweet from gloss and tasted fruity. She didn’t smell like Camilla, her scent was like candy instead of light and floral but I pretended she smelled like flowers.
I pulled her thongs off and reached up to unfasten her bra so she was naked on top of me. When I put her breast in my mouth she moaned out and damn she sounded like Camilla. My dick throbbed in response to the vocal fake out. Nearly every moan out of her mouth sounded like Camilla.
When she slid her tight pussy on my dick I let out a groan and guided her full hips up and down until she found her own rhythm. Once she did, I was free to play with her bouncy titties and grab her phat ass.
“Oh, God, Xavier!” She moaned as I took control and drove her down on my dick hard. She braced her hands against my chest and bounced around until I couldn’t handle the pressure anymore.
“Shit…” I bit my tongue to stop myself from calling her Camilla when I came but damn I wanted to. Her high-pitched squeal sounded identical to Camilla’s. She roll
ed off of me and fell asleep…just like her sister.
I couldn’t sleep at all though. I had sobered all the way up and laid there in the dark trying to figure out how the hell to tell Camilla that I fucked Christina.
**
Chapter Nine
Alexander
“Hey Alexander, can you pick up some French bread from the store? I’m making ravioli. Oh and a bottle of wine?” Camilla said as I pinned the phone to my ear with my shoulder.
“Yeah, I got it.”
“Okay…hey, I miss you,” she cooed. I smiled and relaxed in my office chair.
“I miss you too baby. Kiss the kids for me.”
“Okay.” I ended the call and finished up some work at my office for a few hours before heading to the store to pick up what Camilla had asked for.
Things had been great between us as long as I was at home and being the man she needed me to be. I didn’t know what would happen when I went back to Helena to see Anais though. Just the thought of it made my stomach knot up.
I hadn’t even called Anais in about a week. She’d texted me but I didn’t respond. Guilt was starting to eat away at me. I was supposed to make sure she was okay and here I was just blowing her off. I could have at least checked on her.
When I pulled into the grocery store parking lot, I took out my phone and tapped her name. She answered on the first ring.
“I guess you haven’t forgotten me huh?” Her voice clutched at me. I rested my head against my fist.
“Anais, I’m sorry. I’ve been busy.”
“You’ve been with your fiancé.” She said, cutting through the bullshit.
“Yeah, I have. She’s really suspicious and on top of that I told you I have to take care of my son.”
“I know but it’s so lonely up here without you, Alexander.”
“I’m sorry baby.” I paused and tried to stop myself from telling her I’d be on the next flight. I hated when Anais told me she felt lonely. Especially since I was supposed to be the one keeping her company and making sure she was okay.
“The next time I come see you, we need to talk. We have to figure something out. All this back and forth and all these lies are killing me.” I told her honestly.
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