Twisted Forever

by Danielle James

  “You need to stop this nasty shit with my father.” She told me with a vicious glint in her brown eyes.

  I heard footsteps running up the stairs and I jerked my head over just in time to see motherfucking Cole.

  “Oh, Jesus,” he groaned.

  “I told you.” Emmanuel sighed to him.

  “Camilla…no.” Cole barked. I ignored him and took a step towards my sister. “Yo, Chris I don’t know how fast you are but I hope you used to be on a track team or something because…” Before he could finish his sentence I had Christina’s hair wrapped around my fist.

  “I need to stop being with Emmanuel? What about you and my father? What about you and Xavier?”

  “Camilla!” Emmanuel tried to grab at me but I moved away from him, Christina’s hair in my hand. She swung at me trying to hit anywhere she could but I slammed her against the wall. We struggled for a few minutes before I wrapped my fingers around her throat knocking her head back against the wall with a thud. She dragged her sharp nails down my wrist and forearms drawing blood. I watched it trickle momentarily and then looked at her.

  All I could see was Xavier fucking her and I wanted to finish cutting off her air supply. I heard Emmanuel yelling at me in the background but Cole stopped him from pulling me off Christina.

  “Let them fight that shit out!” He shouted.

  “What fight? There’s no contest!”

  My sister’s head left a dent in the drywall, flaking the paint each time I bashed her skull against it. When her eyelids fluttered closed I felt a strong arm pulling me away. Darkness tinted my vision and all I could see was Xavier and Christina fucking. Each image made me boil with rage.

  As soon as my fingers were pried from her neck I felt her hitting me, attacking my face. I thrashed violently against the arm holding me back until I was dropped.

  “Let them fucking fight, Manny!”

  “She’s going to kill her, Cole!”

  The instant I was free I launched at Christina and all I saw was black. I could feel my fist connecting with her over and over. I heard screams and cries. I heard Emmanuel’s voice.

  Cole’s voice.

  Movement.

  My vision blinked back in momentarily and I saw Christina lying on the floor sobbing. I walked over to her and my vision went black again.

  “Stop!” Cole’s voice. Cole’s scent. Cole’s touch.

  My vision blinked back in and I saw his face in front of me. I was pinned against the wall by Cole’s weight. His breathing was shallow like he’d been fighting instead of me.

  “What the fuck did you eat for breakfast girl, Hulk Wheaties? Shit. You’re strong as fuck.” He yanked me down the steps and tossed me on the couch like I weighed nothing. I heard Emmanuel upstairs talking to Christina and I could hear her responding through cries that got choked out by her coughing.

  “Camilla! Look at me.” Cole snapped his fingers in front of my face a few times until I focused on his hand. “You with me, baby?” He asked. Lazily I nodded my head. I could hear him and see him but nothing else. The room was a blur. Colors were foggy and I couldn’t make out exactly what room I was in.

  “You gotta focus man. You look crazy right now.” He came closer and all I could see was his face. Nothing else around him. “Yo, your pupils look like pin points. Camilla! Look at me!” He shook my shoulders and it felt like I was moving in slow motion. I blinked and looked at him but I still couldn’t pull myself out of the foggy darkness.

  “Manny!” Cole shouted. “Come on, Camilla,” he sighed. “Goddammit. Why the hell do you have to be so psychotic? I’m a grown ass man. I’ve killed motherfuckers before, but I’m legitimately scared of your little ass right now.” He sat beside me and put his arm around my shoulders.

  Smelling him brought a sense of comfort and I felt myself lean into him.

  “Come on back, Camilla.” He said with a sigh as he rubbed my shoulders. My head started to pound relentlessly and it felt like I was slipping into an episode. Cole leaned over and whispered in my ear, and feeling the warmth of his breath made my skin prickle.

  No…

  The colors in the room swam and I started feeling a slow build up of pressure.

  No…

  I thought I was over that shit! I pinched the bridge of my nose and whimpered. Cole turned my face towards him and I knew in that instant I had to get the fuck away from him or else I would pounce.

  “What’s going on?” He quizzed, looking at me. “This shit…looks…wrong.” He tilted his head to the side and god he looked so good. I whined again and started to scoot away but he grabbed my wrist. The tension of his grip made me moan and Cole’s brow flew up in question.

  “Camilla,” he said slowly. I pulled away from him and tried to scramble out of the room but everything was so fucking blurry. Cole chased me and pinned me against the wall.

  Wrong fucking thing to do. I felt the familiar throbbing between my legs and shook my head involuntarily as if trying to shake the feelings of lust away. They were converging on me like sticky black tar though.

  “Answer me. Talk to me.” Cole demanded as he pressed against me. I wiggled away from him and ran. I didn’t even know where the fuck I was running. Until I ran right into a wall. The wall had arms though. I ran my hands over the wall until I realized it was Emmanuel.

  “Shit.” I heard him curse. He shouted something at Cole and tossed me over his shoulder. “Look at me.” I heard him command. My eyes went to his and I saw his face clearly. “Are you having an episode?”

  “Yes.” I spoke for the first time and it came out in a warbled cry. Emmanuel said nothing else. He sank his teeth into me and I cried out so loud it made Cole bang on the closed door. Feeling Emmanuel’s teeth brought me back to consciousness. Next I felt him tug on my hair hard and kiss my lips.

  “Emmanuel,” I whined.

  “Snap out of it, baby.” He pleaded as he bit my lip between his teeth. I could see things clearly finally. I was in his bedroom, on the bed where I’d played out many of my past episodes.

  I felt like I could finally breathe again. Cool air rushed into my lungs and I wrapped my arms and legs around Emmanuel like he’d disappear if I let go.

  “Oh my god…Chris. Did I hurt her too bad?” I asked, trembling. Emmanuel’s face dropped and he sighed heavily.

  “Is Camilla okay?” I heard Cole knock on the other side of the door.

  “She’s fine now.” Emmanuel pulled the door open and I saw concern painted on his light brown face. He looked so panicked, something I’d never seen from him before. I ran to him and he picked me up in a hug.

  “You okay?” He asked, smoothing my hair back.

  “Yeah, I’m sorry,” I sniffled. He set me back down and I noticed a glance between him and Emmanuel. Cole held his hands up and took a step back from me.

  “Can you check on Chris for a minute? The ambulance should be here…” Before he could finish there were knocks on the door.

  When I saw Christina’s bloody face I honestly felt like shit. I never intended to really hurt her. Slap the fuck out of her, yes but black out on my little sister? Never. I felt sick when I heard her coughing and crying. It wasn’t until she was being driven off and Emmanuel was in tow behind the ambulance, leaving me with Cole that I started to feel my own face throb.

  “Oh god, she must have fucked me up.” I frowned holding my jaw.

  “Yeah she got some good ones in on you.” Cole laughed, looking at me. “Come on, let me clean you up.” He held my hand and led me into the kitchen. He rummaged through Emmanuel’s cabinets and pulled out first aid and then he grabbed a bag of frozen vegetables and pressed them to my jaw, which felt swollen and sore. I winced at the blast of ice against the hot pain.

  “Camilla, what the fuck was that shit in the den? You blacked out. I get that. What was that other shit? You looked like you wanted to rape me. I’ve seen that look before but only when we’re about to…” His voice trailed off and I looked down at my hands. They w
ere red and scratched up. Angry, bloody whelps covered my forearms and I sighed at the way I looked.

  I needed to see Christina and apologize.

  “I had an episode, Cole. Remember I told you how I used to have mood swings and I needed to fuck to snap out of it?” I’d given him most of my back story. He nodded his head and dabbed at the bloody scratches with peroxide. I winced at the sensation.

  “Okay so you were about to rape me then?” He sucked in a breath and shook his head. “I didn’t like seeing you like that.” He put the cotton ball down and wrapped his arms around me. “You scared the fuck out of me. Your eyes looked insane. I’ve heard about people blacking out, seen people black out. Shit, I’ve blacked out on motherfuckers before but I’ve never seen anyone’s eyes do that.”

  “I know,” I breathed. “Alexander explained it to me once.” I swallowed at the thought of us during happier times. “He said that in addition to light, pupils respond to the task at hand. The harder the task, the more dilated the pupil. The easier the task, the more constricted.”

  Cole tilted his head to the side and eyed me.

  “So, you blacking out…”

  “Is the easiest thing for me to do,” I nodded. “It’s fucking second nature for me.”

  “To turn into a psycho?” He frowned.

  “Whatever you wanna call it. Yes,” I grumbled. “I’m not proud of it. I didn’t mean to hurt Chris.” I put the frozen vegetables down and groaned. “I meant to hit her but I didn’t think I’d lose control.”

  “You bashed her head into the wall. You choked her. Then when Manny pulled you off, you hit her ass again and stomped her into a pulp.” He frowned disapprovingly at me and I felt the same way about myself, shit. I cringed hearing it replayed to me.

  “I didn’t see anything,” I confessed. “It was all black. I just saw her and Xavier fucking and I…”

  “That’s what made you black out?” I nodded sadly. “Aw goddamn Camilla come on. I thought you were over him.”

  “I am! He’s still Chloe’s father though. He’s still in my heart. So is Christina though. I love her. Just thinking about them together, hurt.”

  “You ever think that’s why she’s doing it?” Cole asked, holding my hand in his. “Because you’re in her heart and so is Manny and see yall together hurts? Especially when you like to be a bitch about it.” He frowned.

  “She’s a bitch too!” I squeaked.

  “Look…” He held his hand up, “I’m not playing referee with yall crazy asses. You need to see her side of things. You need to go apologize and stop flaunting the fact that you’re fucking her father.” I hated when Cole used his stern voice. He made me feel like a kid. He was telling no lies though. “Speaking of which, we gotta chill.” He said quietly.

  “What?” I frowned.

  “You know what. You’re back with Manny. He looked like he wanted to kill me when we hugged earlier. I respect him so. I’m gonna stop.” I nodded understanding everything he said. As usual, Cole was right. We hugged and he grabbed my ass one more time for old times sake, making me laugh.

  “I can’t help it.” He shrugged. “Come on Kimbo Slice, let’s go see your sister.” He held my hand as we walked to the door. “She probably looks like Martin when he fought Tommy Hearns.” I shoved him and he shrugged. “What? It’s true. You didn’t see how you stomped on that girl.”

  “Shut up, Cole.”

  “Look, you know I love you right?” He said seriously. I nodded in response. “You have to learn how to calm the fuck down. I can’t keep cleaning up after your crazy ass.”

  “Cole…leave me alone.”

  “I’m dead ass serious. Yall not gonna keep having me be Cole the clean up man.” He fussed as we got in the car.

  **

  Chapter Seventeen

  Emmanuel

  Christina was fucked up pretty badly thanks to Camilla’s crazy ass. She had a concussion and a cracked rib as her most serious injuries. Everything else was superficial including the cut on her lip that needed a couple stitches, a gash on her cheek along with a matching one on her forehead.

  She was watching TV while we waited for her MRI results to come back to show if there was any swelling in her brain. “How you feeling baby girl?” I asked, pushing a sandwich in her direction.

  “Okay. Kind of hurts to take a deep breath. Thanks to my fucking broken rib.” She fumed. “I’m gonna kill your girlfriend.”

  I groaned and hid my face behind my hands. “Chris, stop. Don’t go after Cami.”

  “Why not? Because you can’t stop screwing her?” She seethed at me and I let it slide. She had every right to be pissed and hurt. I wasn’t going to tell her how to feel but I didn’t want her getting hurt by going after her sister.

  “It’s not just about screwing her. If you wanna be candid. Do you want raw honesty, Chris?” I asked her. Tears watered in her eyes as she nodded reluctantly.

  “I want to know why you want her. She’s your wife’s daughter.” I shut my eyes against the thought of Dana.

  “I love her,” I said simply. “At first it was just pure carnal attraction. I wanted to tame her wild ass. She was a challenge. She was fiery and beautiful and wrong.” I said thinking of how much I fought against fucking my stepdaughter.

  “She was wrong, Daddy. How could you ever make that shit right?” Her voice wobbled and a tear escaped her eye.

  “I don’t know. My dick did the thinking. I knew she wasn’t mine. I’ve always known. I never looked at her as my daughter as messed up as it sounds. I loved her and I protected her fiercely but she wasn’t mine.” I rubbed my hands together and rested my elbows on my knees. “When a man knows a kid isn’t his sometimes he lacks that connection with them. Cami and I never had the same connection that you and I had. She’ll tell you the same thing.

  I think when you look at me you see your father and you think Cami sees it too. She doesn’t. I don’t. I never did. I just did what I had to do to take care of you two. I hated how Dana lied about Trevor.” I shook my head at the memories streaking by in my mind.

  “I could have stopped the lie at any time but I didn’t. I didn’t want to upset Dana,” I scoffed.

  “You never felt close to Cami?” Christina asked in a small voice, it was almost sad in a sense.

  “No. With you…” I looked at my baby girl and smiled. “You’re the sun and the moon. I knew you were mine. You look just like me. With Camilla, I knew she was Trev’s. She needed a father figure. I tried to be that but…” I shrugged my shoulders.

  “How do you watch her grow up and all of a sudden become attracted to her?” Christina asked.

  “I don’t know. It’s twisted. I never looked at her like that when she was little, not even once she was a teenager. But when she started coming on to me, she was a woman suddenly. Not a little girl. She was doing things little girls didn’t do. I’m not excusing it away because it wasn’t right but I did it anyway. Like I said, my dick did the thinking.”

  “Daddy, stop. That’s gross. So fucking gross.”

  “You want candid or you want sugar coated?” I asked her. I was tired of avoiding the uncomfortable topic of Camilla. It had been dragging on for too long. I loved that girl and at that point I didn’t give a shit what anyone thought about it. We’d been through too much together.

  “I know but how can you look at Cami of all people and see…sexy?” She shuddered at the words and I actually laughed.

  “Are you kidding?” I chuckled loudly. “I mean I know she’s your sister so you probably don’t see it but Camilla…” I decided to spare her the nasty details of how seductive and freaky her big sister was. Any man could see it a mile away though, which was why I knew I’d always have to keep her next to me.

  “Okay, that’s enough.” Christina frowned. “So you two never saw each other as father and daughter?”

  “No. Even Camilla said she wondered why she never had that bond with me. It just wasn’t there. Now, we’re in love and I wish I…�
� I bit my tongue because I didn’t want to hurt Christina’s feelings with my thoughts about her mother. But I swear I wished I never married her.

  “You wish what, Daddy?” I jerked my gaze back up to Christina.

  “I wish I knew how things would turn out.” I lied.

  “Are you going to marry her?” She blew out a breath like she was bracing herself for my answer.

  “Will it hurt you if I do?” I quizzed. She shrugged her shoulders in response and out of habit went to chew her bottom lip but winced at the pain from her stitches.

  It was then that the door swung open and Cole walked in with a sheepish Camilla behind him. Her face was starting to bruise in the spots Christina hit her and she had deep scratches on her arm where Chris tried to pry Camilla’s hand from her throat.

  “Hey yall.” Cole looked at Chris and shook his head.

  “Why the fuck are you here?” Christina snapped at Cole and he just laughed at it.

  “Hey, I’m not the bad guy.” He reasoned.

  “So? You can get the hell out. Take her ass with you.” Anger stormed around in Christina’s brown eyes. The shyness that absorbed Camilla at first melted away once she heard the vitriol being spewed at Cole.

  “Don’t talk to him like that.” Camilla snapped.

  “Why? Are you screwing him too? Typical. I bet you fucked all his sadness away when Dempsey got killed didn’t you Camilla? Still won’t take the bullet out of his head, Cole.” She snarled.

  I jerked my head in Christina’s direction and regarded her with shock. That shit was uncalled for. Cole’s jaw clenched and I saw a flash of rage in his normally reserved eyes.

  “Nah. She didn’t.” He snapped quickly. I stood to block what I thought would be another attack from Camilla, but the next shock came from Cole instead.

  “Why are you so fucking mad Chris?” He tilted his head to the side and smirked. “Oh…I got it. Probably because no matter how hard you try to be like Camilla you fail. You even failed at fucking her baby’s father because his dick couldn’t get hard without thinking about Camilla. He didn’t want you. Trevor threw your ass away after taking your virginity and slutting you out and Laurel can’t stand to look at you. Now you’re just a bitter ass bitch. Judging by your track record you probably want my dick too. Just so you know though, my dick probably wouldn't get hard for you either. You're no Camilla.” I snatched Cole up by his shirt and dragged him out of the room before he could do anymore damage.