by Lexi Ostrow
She pulled back, breathing hard and fast. “Jake.”
His eyes latched onto hers. “Leena.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
His bark of a laugh was harsher than any he’d heard come from him before. He took a step back. “Then you’re on your own. I’m not playing games. I promised myself I wouldn’t pursue unless you started it. Which you most certainly did. But you need to skip going to Nick’s room tonight and think. Wouldn’t you say?”
Pain lanced across her face and he felt horrible for putting it there. But it was true. She had been everything he was looking for in a woman. Down to her persistent need to be in control of scheduling, but differing to someone else on everything else. It was possible he was causing a problem, sweeping in and pushing her into doing these things. They may have known each other technically for years. But they’d spent only a few hours together one night and had met a handful of times prior to that. He’d essentially pounced on her the moment he arrived. Did he have any right to actually be upset with her? He’d come out of nowhere and ruined her fantasy. She had every right to be confused.
An apology hung on his lips, but never happened. Neither of them spoke and neither of them moved. He shook his head and backed up far enough away that there was no way they could touch again. “I’m going to go in, Leena. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
She was going to freeze if she didn’t go inside. Her hands were itching from the cold and her nose was beginning to as well. She’d been out here at least ten minutes since Jake had gone inside. And he had every reason to walk away from her didn’t he?
Her lips still tingled, only now it was from freezing air instead of his kisses. She brushed a gloved fingertip over her upper lip and felt nothing at all. She could barely feel the chalet’s exterior wall behind her back.
A groan sounded in the night, hers. “What have I done?” She scrunched her nose, trying to feel it. She’d made a mess of quite a lot of things. Especially for someone known for her organization and leadership. Nearly eleven years as a personal assistant, perfectly managing someone else’s life and she takes a few days to live her own and screws up so badly she wanted to crawl under the coves and pretend it was still Christmas Eve.
All she’d wanted for Christmas was Nick. She was certain that the invitation was nothing more than a way to hide from his mother. When he’d kissed her the first night she’d chalked it up to him being lonely after the breakup and the mistletoe’s encouragement. But then Christmas had come and gone and he’d told her the words she’d always wanted to her.
Not to mention the way he fucked her. She’d never imagined he’d be like that in bed. He wasn’t rough, but he was commanding and skilled. Though she had a feeling the skilled part wasn’t too surprising to anyone. She’d had everything she wanted. She was never terribly fussy in life, not that she could remember anyway.
So why did Jake’s kisses twist her inside into heated knots? Why couldn’t she just be content with getting her Christmas wish? Nick was amazing, better than amazing really. She’d known him almost half her life and whenever she had lain down at night, his face was the last one she saw.
But so was Jake. She thought about him again. About how he was so much more than the fun playboy partier Nick made him out to be. Sure, he had a little more growing up to do than his little brother, but he was wonderful. They seemed to have so much more in common than she did with Nick and it made her nervous.
Maybe that was why she couldn’t get him out of her head. Opposites attracting had always seemed like a load of bull to her. She’d taken comfort in how well she knew Nick and had made herself like a lot of the same things as him; working and sushi only being two. With Jake she already did just like the same things; like hot cocoa and Christmas lights.
Leena put her hand on her head and pushed down, trying to push back the headache that was bubbling up. She was probably living most girls dream right now. Two powerful, sexy, intelligent men appeared to want her in their bed, and possibly in their lives. A smile curved over her lips for a split second, she should be enjoying this. That wasn’t possible though since she cared about both of them, they’d both been in her life so long no matter how often she saw them.
Jake wasn’t wrong. What she was doing was going to burn them to the ground. And yet, she couldn’t seem to convince herself to choose one of them. “Well, that’s more of a problem isn’t it? Shouldn’t it be easy to pick the person you are in love with?” She shook her head. “How the hell can I actually be in love with either of them? It’s been three days.” Even with Nick, thinking she was in love with him because of a crush and actually being in love with him were two different things.
Realization crept in. She was standing out here in the cold debating love and men and was being such a girl. At no point had either man said they loved her. They were just adamant they had feelings for her. She was being ridiculous. “That doesn’t change the fact that loving one of them or not, you need to pick one.” She barely heard her sentence over the howl of the wind.
Being outside was doing nothing. What she needed was to snuggle in bed with a glass of wine, that they had none of, and to think. It didn’t need to be about love. She just needed to figure out which brother she would want to be in love with. Which one she could live without.
As she pulled open the front door she couldn’t help but think how different things had gotten so quickly. Three days ago and there would have been no one in the world to combat her feelings for Nick. Now, not only was she attracted to someone else, she had a feeling Jake might be the winner.
Nick walked into the living area and stopped under the mistletoe, grinning. “What happened that you came back in after Jake?”
She took a deep breath, there were so many ways she could answer that. None of which were going to make Nick happy so she opted to lie, just for now. “I wanted to enjoy the cold air for a little. Felt a little like I had cabin fever.”
“Ahh. How about coming here, right next to me under this mistletoe?”
She hesitated. Kissing him could solve her problems, or it could lead to more. Plus, was it fair to play either one of them? But her feet were already moving over to him.
“I love mistletoe,” Nick joked and kissed her.
Her toes didn’t curl like they did with Jake’s. No sparks of romance movies shot through her head. But heat built in her body. A lust that she couldn’t ignore if she didn’t take a step back.
“Can we talk, just really quick.” She walked over to the couch and he followed. A quick image of him straddling her on it brought more wicked thoughts and she pushed them back. “Is this some sort of Christmas fling?”
His face twisted, “why would you think that?”
“You’ve made allusions to being interested in me before, but not doing anything because you’re the boss. So I want to make sure this isn’t just the holiday season getting to your head. That you’re really interested in us and not just sex between us.”
He took her hand and kissed the top of it. “I never should have jumped you. I should have pretended it was a first date and moved slow. I want this, Leena. All in, regardless of how I acted in the past. Even if you are going to quit and leave me in hell trying to find a replacement.”
His words comforted her almost as much as they added fire to the war in her heart. The man of her dreams was offering her a relationship and she wasn’t ready to jump all over him.
“So exclusivity, wedding dates, picnics in the park- all of it?”
He laughed. “Yes, Leena. All of it. If you want it.”
She was quiet and he sat up straight, putting a little distance between them. “It’s all I had wanted for ages.” The truth of the words slipped out. She used a past tense word. Did she just decide then?
A part of her wanted to put the feelings in her head on the table. To tell him she’s conflicted and not even sure why. Getting your dream was supposed to be fulfilling and yet, maybe it had only ever been the need for him
that she liked. She’d never really chased him exactly, but what if she was having feelings for someone else because Nick, while everything she thought he’d be, was not a challenge for her.
Leena knew him so well; his schedules, his quirks, his dieting habits. She knew what color he liked best and what way he liked his tie tied. Jake was an utter mystery and her mouth couldn’t form the words to tell Nick that she needed time. Because her heart seemed to be leaning toward Jake despite everything, but her brain was telling her she shouldn’t let go of Nick. That she was only confused because so much happened so fast.
So very unlike him, he missed her past tense use of the word. “Good. Let’s go to bed then. To bed, to sleep. I rushed us and I want to make up for that.”
She should just go with him. Two things were stopping her and one was definitely Jake’s kiss.
“I think I want to try sleeping alone tonight. Your mother should be here in the morning and I don’t want her coming in and finding us.”
“Fair enough. Let’s get some sleep then. I have a feeling she’ll be here bright and early to make up for not being here for Christmas.”
Together, they walked to her room and he kissed her, gently. She rather liked seeing there was more than just passion to his kiss and grabbed his head and kissed him back.
If she was going to spend the night thinking about which brother or no brother at all even, she would need the research.
She didn’t bother to try and be clean; just peeled her clothes off, tossed the wet things to the floor and climbed into bed. A yawn overtook her. “Maybe I shouldn’t think about it tonight. Maybe tomorrow morning.”
Her eyes closed and images of strong arms and slow love making seeped into her brain. Romantic and beautiful, not hard and fast. Even as she drifted off to sleep she feared that Jake was becoming the choice she would make, unless Nick found a way to surprise her, because when it came down to it, Jake had the parts of Nick that she wanted the most. A romantic, gentle side. As she drifted off to sleep the nagging feeling that Nick was a dream that was not meant to be a reality was slowly taking more and more hold in her heart.
Chapter 8
Nick could hear his mother long before he was ready to. Her voice pierced through the morning sleepiness. That stage of sleep right before a person is ready to be up, but is starting to wake up. He cringed as she called for both him and Jake to come and say hello to their mother.
He groaned and slid a hand out of the bed and remembered that Leena hadn’t slept in his room. She was so smart, one of the things he probably shouldn’t love as much as he did. But her smarts were now stopping his mother from meeting his new girlfriend in an entirely inappropriate, but fun way.
He smiled thinking about Leena. She was so much better than he’d ever imagined. A part of him had always worried that once they slept together he might not be interested anymore. In the whole “I just like a chase” sort of way. But it had made him fall for her even more. For years he’d watched her beautiful body, but he’d also been studying her. Learning the things she liked and didn’t like. Seeing how she handled stress and how she partied. There couldn’t possibly be anyone better suited to be in his life than the woman that was essentially running his life.
“Nikolas! Jake! It’s almost nine a.m. why are you both sound asleep?”
He groaned just as his phone chimed on the nightstand.
One of you please hurry up. Sooner or later she’s going to start asking who I am and why I’m in the kitchen.
He wasn’t certain when she’d gotten Jake’s number to be texting them both, but if she really was up and out in the kitchen his mother would start grilling her simply about why she was there. He blew out a breath and tossed the covers off. He’d slept in blue and green plaid flannel pajamas to deal with the cold so there was nothing he needed to put on. Even if his mother seeing him in his nightwear would probably invoke a shit fit of epic proportions.
“Mother,” he said as he stepped out of the hallway and saw her sizing up the Christmas tree.
She turned and smiled, until she saw his clothes and frowned immediately. “I will not even comment on that outfit, Nick.” She walked over and gave him a big hug and a kiss. “How is my little boy? And who is that beautiful woman in the kitchen?”
He grinned. “ Wonderful Mom. How are you and Peter? Where is Peter?”
“He’s in the kitchen talking with the woman. So, who’s is she?”
For a moment he hoped she wouldn’t walk out while he claimed her. Not because he was embarrassed, but because he had a feeling she’d knee him in the nuts. Morning or not he walked over to the rolling bar and poured himself a stiff glass of brandy and swished it back.
“That good, huh?” His mother was smiling and he was reminded again that she wasn’t all pomp and circumstance. That she had been laid back once.
“That’s Leena.”
“Leena, as in your assistant, Leena? The one Jake almost dated years back?” His mother’s voice wasn’t even slightly judgmental. The fact that she thought they almost dated concerned Nick, Jake had never told him he’d talked to their mom about Leena.
“I’m going to need another,” he poured a second glass and tossed it back as well. He was going to be hammered if he didn’t stop. “I didn’t know they’d ever been close to an item. She’s with me, Mom.”
His mother’s eyebrow shot up. The one that came right before a lecture.
“Do you think you should be seeing someone your brother had such strong feelings for? No matter how many years back it was.”
For a moment, a very small one, his blood began to simmer. Jake had made it seem like he just thought she’d be fun to date for a bit. Now he was wondering if leaving him and Leena alone last night had been the best idea in the world. He eyed the brandy for the third time, but didn’t get to it because Peter and Leena came out.
They were laughing and she was still in her pajamas too. She saw him and smiled shyly, probably because she didn’t know if he’d told them. Well if he had made a mistake last night with Jake he was going to fix it now. He tipped her chin back and kissed her.
His mouth covered hers and his arms wrapped around her and tugged her against him. She was a little rigid, but he again attributed it to his mother and Peter. He swept his tongue across her mouth and she responded as always and he deepened the kiss.
A clearing of a throat had him pulling back. It was Jake. Their eyes met and for once he understood what Leena meant about eyes. Jake’s rippled with hurt and anger, but it never reached his mouth. The smile he plastered on as he said hello to their parents was hiding it all.
Leena looked flushed and never looked at Jake. “I was um, I was making bacon. Would anyone like some eggs? I saw at least a dozen in the fridge.”
“That would be wonderful, Leena. And welcome to the family Christmas vacation. I’m sorry we’re short Anna, and weren’t here ourselves. Hopefully we will see you at more than one of these though.” His mother winked at Leena and walked toward the kitchen. “I’ll help you, we can get to know one another since Peter and my sons are taken by you.”
“I’d love that. Oh and Jake?”
He lifted his head from staring at the floor and Nick saw the anger that flashed in his eyes at Leena and he wasn’t going to let it go unchecked once she was in the kitchen.
“Thank you for taking me to look at the lights.” Leena looked at the ground and Nick once again had doubts.
“No problem, Leena. Everyone knows I love the lights the most.” He dropped onto the couch and shifted his eyes to the tree.
Leena nodded and pushed open the door to the kitchen and Nick and Peter sat down.
“Look I don’t want to ruin the vacation, but I feel like something needs to be said.”
Both Peter and Jake looked but said nothing.
“Jake, I’m sorry you had such big feelings for Leena. I get why you wouldn’t have told me since I’d been talking about her a ton. No big. But this isn’t a corporate game or bu
yout or client to win over. It’s my girlfriend. So just get over the anger or whatever that just was so I’m not forced to kick your ass.”
He saw Jake grit his teeth before he spoke. “Not a problem, little brother. I hope you two will be very happy together. From what I hear she’s been dreaming about you for a lotta years. And now, I need a drink.” He pushed off the couch.
“Ah, Jake, I think you and Nick need to watch the morning drinking.” Peter was never treated like he wasn’t their father, but he always had trouble dishing out rules.
“Not this morning, Peter. Not this morning.”
The morning had gone well. Leena wouldn’t look at Jake, but Nick really didn’t care. He’d asked her briefly if anything had happened last night and she’d said nothing more than he’d expected would. So he’d dropped the issue. If Jake wanted to sulk that was fine, he was on cloud nine and his brother could just screw off.
He liked having Leena there, playing games and just sitting around talking. She fit in perfectly, probably because she knew so much about him and his family from work. Either way, he couldn’t help but think that he’d spent so many years waiting, that maybe it was time to move things along, if she got scared he could always pull back.
“Leena?”
She looked up at him from the book she was reading on the porch and smiled. Her oddness from the morning appeared to be gone. She must be more comfortable now.
“I know you’re reading, but any shot I could steal you away? I kind of had something planned for if it ever stopped snowing.”
She smiled and it brightened her face. “Let me run the book inside and grab a coat, this sweater probably won’t do too well with the wind outside.” She disappeared and came back quickly.
“We don’t really have to go too far.” Nick smiled at her and immediately dropped down to the snow. She was watching him with a look of curiosity and he smiled harder. Without a word he lay on his back and began to move his arms and legs out and to the sides. The snow snuck inside his pants and he bit his cheek to not yelp at the coldness against his lower back and ass cheeks.