Beyond the Breakwater

by Radclyffe

  “Oh, yeah. Yeah.”

  Caroline looked up, a satisfied smile on her face. Her voice was like velvet as she purred, “Remember me?”

  “Jesus, don’t quit,” Bri gasped. “I’m gonna come any second.”

  “Really?” Caroline’s tone was ingenuous as she slipped fingers inside.

  Bri arched off the bed, thigh muscles straining, her breath tearing from her on a hoarse cry. “Oh, please. Please…”

  A wave of nearly painful pleasure swept through Caroline at the sound of Bri’s need, and she lowered her head to capture her again with her mouth. Gently, prolonging the moment, she merely held her between her lips, not moving until she felt the sudden swelling all along the shaft. Then, she sucked gently, urging the orgasm to unfold and engulf her lover in one continuous, rolling surge of release. So absorbed in the moment, she was startled when Bri sobbed her name. It was the most beautiful thing she’d ever heard.

  Bri didn’t return to awareness until she felt Caroline, naked now, stretched out on top of her, moving in the familiar rhythm of desire. Caroline’s face was pressed to her neck, her skin slick with urgency, her breath little more than faint broken cries. Bri felt the wet heat as her lover rocked frantically the length of her thigh. She barely had the strength to do more than wrap her arms around her, but she clasped Caroline’s hips, adding to the pressure that would bring her off.

  “Babe, babe,” Bri whispered, her lips to the delicate curve of ear. “I love you.”

  Caroline’s only response was a choked sob.

  “That’s it, Carre, that’s it.”

  “Oh…I’m coming.”

  “Do it. Do it.” Bri groaned, her heart pounding wildly as Caroline stiffened and whimpered faintly. “Come on me, babe. Come all over me.” Impossibly, Bri felt a second orgasm rise from her depths, a distant thunder eclipsed by the storm raging in Caroline’s body. “Oh, yeah. Yeah.”

  Caroline jerked convulsively, her hands desperately clutching Bri’s shoulders, and screamed as the climax pummeled her. Bri strained into her, closing her eyes, letting her lover’s passion carry her away.

  *

  “Man, I’ve missed that,” Caroline mumbled when she emerged from the pleasant torpor that followed. She was still on top of Bri, their arms and legs entangled. “I thought I was going to melt.”

  “Meltdown is more like it.” Bri smoothed her hands up and down Caroline’s back. Caroline had always been aggressive in bed, but it was rare that Bri let her take control so completely. She was still a little shell-shocked by how helpless—how raw and exposed—she had felt. Laughing a little self-consciously, she added, “You practically gave me a stroke.”

  “Good.” Caroline traced a finger along Bri’s neck and down her chest, stopping to cup her breast in her palm. “Feeling better?”

  “I can’t feel anything at all. I’m pretty sure my legs fell off.”

  Caroline laughed and snuggled even closer, drawing one leg across Bri’s thighs and wrapping an arm around her midsection. “I love you.”

  “Mmm.” Bri ran her fingers through the soft golden hair. “Lucky for me.”

  “Uh-huh. And try not to forget it, okay?”

  “I’m sorry for being an asshole,” Bri whispered. When they were together like this, it was hard to remember what made her feel so lonely and so lost.

  “It’s okay,” Caroline said softly. “You’re not.”

  “Yeah, well.” Bri sighed as Caroline snuggled closer. “Sometimes I am.”

  “How’s Reese?”

  “Good. Better.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t get up to see her.”

  “I’ll tell her you said hi.” As an afterthought, Bri asked, “Have you talked to Tory lately?”

  “Not since Reese was in the hospital. It was so crazy—I could never catch her in.”

  “So you don’t know?”

  “Know what?”

  “Tory’s pregnant.”

  “Oh my God! That’s so great.”

  “Yeah. Pretty cool, huh?”

  “Oh, I can’t wait to see Tory and ask her all about it,” Caroline exclaimed. I want us to have a baby some day.

  “Well, there’s a big party in Barnstable the Friday of Memorial Day weekend—kind of like an early graduation thing. Those of us who are done with our class work are celebrating.” Bri nuzzled Caroline’s ear contentedly. “So if you came up for that, we could swing over and see Tory and Reese after.”

  Caroline grew still. After a moment, she said, “Uh…it’s special, huh?”

  “Well, sorta.” Bri thought for a second, trying to clear her fuzzy brain. From the way she felt, most of her blood flow was still centered between her legs. “You know, I want you to meet my friends. You’re coming for the weekend anyhow, right?”

  Another stretch of silence ensued.

  “Carre? What’s going on?” Bri opened her eyes, suddenly wide-awake.

  Caroline’s voice was flat, impossible to read. “Part of the scholarship for next year has this work-study thing.”

  “Uh-huh.” Bri’s heart started triple-timing. Jesus, something else? Can’t we just forget about that for a while?

  “There’s an orientation that whole week. I won’t be done until late Friday, and then I’m supposed to go to some kind of reception thing.”

  “Oh.” Bri worked to keep the disappointment from her voice. “So I guess you can’t make the party then.”

  “I’m sorry, I don’t think so.”

  “Well, that’s okay. It’s just my classmates. No big deal.” It felt odd, needing to ask Caroline for a date. It felt even odder to find that things were happening in both their lives that kept them apart. “Work study? What’s that going to involve?”

  “I’ll be assisting one of the profs in the art department,” Caroline said quietly. “The problem is…I’m going to be working here for the summer.”

  “Wait a minute.” The significance of what Caroline was saying finally sank in. Swiftly, Bri sat up and reached for the sheet, pulling part of it over herself, searching for some fragment of protection, as if the thin material could shield her heart. “You’re not coming home to the Cape for the summer?”

  “No.”

  “And you didn’t even tell me? Jesus.”

  “I didn’t know until yesterday,” Caroline said miserably. “I would have told you sooner—”

  “So.” Bri cut her off, amazed at how calm she felt inside. No, not calm. Cold. Cold and, mercifully, numb. “So, I’m going to be there, and you’re going to be here. And then you’re going to be in Europe. For a year.”

  “We talked about next year.” Caroline sat up now, too. She searched around on the floor, found her blouse, and pulled it on. Automatically, she handed Bri her T-shirt. “You said you were okay with it…you wanted me—”

  “Oh, come on.” Bri couldn’t take it anymore. She got out of bed, hunted up her jeans, and tugged them on. Her hands trembled as she buttoned her jeans, and she turned away so Caroline wouldn’t see. This is the beginning of the end, don’t you see? You go your way, I go mine—sometime in the next twelve months we admit things have changed, and we’re done.

  “What are you doing?” Caroline got to her feet and grabbed Bri’s forearms. “What’s the matter with you? We knew this was going to happen sooner or later.”

  “Not now! Later! We were supposed to have the summer.” Bri felt trapped. Powerless. Don’t you see? It’s changing already. You didn’t even tell me!

  “Do you think I don’t care about that?”

  “I don’t know!”

  Bri walked to the door and grabbed her helmet and jacket. But it’s happening now, and it’s so much worse than I imagined. And what happens when you come back? You’ll have a new life, and I’ll be part of your old life. I’ll be the past. I can’t stand around waiting and wondering when that will happen.

  “Where are you going?” Caroline’s voice was filled with anger and tears. “It’s two o’clock in the morning.” />
  Bri couldn’t think of a single thing to say. She couldn’t say goodbye, because the words would tear her heart out. She couldn’t say I love you, because the words wouldn’t change what was going to happen. In the end, she said nothing.

  *

  Bri drove all night and pulled into the parking lot in front of the training center with ten minutes to spare. When she’d left for Manhattan the night before, she’d planned on skipping her Saturday weapons class. Now, school seemed like the only thing that might take her mind off the howling pain that had threatened to swallow her up all night.

  She must have sleepwalked through the class, because an hour and a half later, she was surprised to find herself straddling her bike again. She fiddled with her keys, contemplating the rest of the day. The thought of going back to the barren apartment almost made her ill. She could ride to Provincetown, maybe visit Reese. But she should call before she did that. Visit her dad? No, he would only ask her questions that she didn’t have the strength to answer.

  “Hey,” Allie said as she walked up. “You okay?”

  Bri raised her head, slightly confused, then smiled faintly in recognition. Allie was wearing an academy T-shirt, tight blue jeans, and expensive-looking hand-tooled cowboy boots. She looked tough and sexy at the same time. “Yeah, sure. Fine.”

  “I thought you looked a little spacey in class. Rough night?”

  “Yeah.” Bri laughed bitterly. “Something like that.”

  “How about I make you breakfast?” The blond moved a little closer and placed a hand on Bri’s knee.

  Bri didn’t even have to think twice. “Okay.”

  “Excellent.” With a broad smile, Allie placed her palm on Bri’s shoulder, threw a leg over the broad bike, and snuggled up close. She wrapped both arms around Bri’s waist, her hands resting in the curve of Bri’s thighs. “Most excellent.”

  It took only a few minutes to reach Allie’s small cottage.

  “Is this all yours?” Bri was still feeling a little disoriented.

  Allie slid off Bri’s Harley, removed her helmet, and hooked it to the bracket on the back. “Yeah, I’m renting it for now. Depending on where I get assigned for my training period, I’ll either keep it or sublease it.”

  “Nice,” Bri commented as she followed Allie up the drive.

  “Come on in.” Allie opened the door and stepped through into a warm and welcoming living room. The furniture was typical for a shoreside cottage, with sturdy wood-framed fabric-covered sofas, matching end tables, and prints displaying seaside vistas on the walls. The compact galley kitchen occupied the rear of the main room and was separated from the living and eating area by a waist-high divider. A door opposite a small fireplace opened into the second room, which appeared to be the bedroom. “Have you put in your request for placement yet?”

  “Yeah.” Bri waited awkwardly just inside the door, her jacket in one hand. She wasn’t used to being alone with another woman. She’d never dated anyone other than Caroline, and although they had a small cadre of male and female friends, they had done almost everything socially as a couple. She’d never had a girlfriend in the sense of a best friend, no one except Caroline, and from the very beginning, it had been more than just friendship between them.

  “Sit down,” Allie suggested, waving toward the couch. “You want coffee?”

  “Yeah, that would be great.” As an afterthought, as she headed for the couch, Bri asked, “Do you, uh, need me to do anything?”

  “No. Go ahead and relax. You look like you could use it.” Allie leaned a shoulder against the open refrigerator door, observed Bri with a small smile, and shook her head. “I can manage this.”

  Bri clasped her hands between her knees and nodded. Now that she was sitting, she realized that she really was beat. A night without sleep and ten hours on the road had left her a little fuzzy. Plus, whenever she fought with Caroline, her world slipped out of focus and nothing quite made sense. There was an ache in her chest that wouldn’t quit and an empty feeling in the pit of her stomach.

  “Bri?”

  “What?” Bri jumped. “Sorry.”

  “Toast and eggs okay?”

  “Sure.”

  “Just give me a minute.”

  Bri leaned her head back against the sofa and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, it took her a few seconds to place her surroundings. She was leaning to one side into the corner of the couch, her legs up on the cushions and taking up most of the rest of the sitting area. Allie was seated at the other end, her bare feet propped up on the coffee table, a magazine open on her lap.

  “Good nap?” Allie was smiling.

  “Oh, man, I’m sorry.” Bri jerked upright, rubbed both hands over her face, and searched the wall for a clock. When she saw that it was mid-afternoon, she realized that she had been asleep for several hours. Blushing, she glanced sideways into Allie’s dark eyes. “What a jerk, huh?”

  “Uh-uh.” Allie shifted closer until their shoulders touched, turning slightly so she could meet Bri’s eyes. “I thought it was pretty cute when you just conked out. You didn’t even flinch when I put your legs up.”

  “Sorry about breakfast.”

  “That’s okay.”

  Suddenly, Bri was acutely aware of Allie’s body pressing lightly along her side. She was also aware of her light perfume, a scent very different than Caroline’s but nice in a pretty sort of way. When she felt the light brush of fingers over her hand, Bri looked down. Allie’s hand was small, each nail perfectly sculpted and glossy with a pale pink hue. It was very quiet in the room. The soft rhythm of Allie breathing was soothing and, at the same time, exciting.

  A pulse tripped unexpectedly between Bri’s thighs, and she caught her breath in surprise. Reflexively, she stood up and stepped away a pace. “I should go. I’ve got a lot of reading to catch up on.”

  “Are you going out later?” Allie stood, too. “You know, Saturday night at the Breakers?”

  “I don’t know,” Bri said awkwardly. “Maybe.”

  “I’ll be there.” Allie walked with Bri toward the door. “Look for me, okay?”

  “Sure, if I go.”

  When Bri mounted her bike and pulled out onto the highway, she didn’t head back to her temporary apartment. She took the highway that wound along the ocean and rode until the churning want in her depths subsided. By the time she returned, it was nearly dark. She didn’t go out again that night.

  Chapter Ten

  Late April, Provincetown, MA

  Tory walked into the bedroom and stopped to watch Reese finish getting dressed. She loved Reese’s precise, orderly morning routine. Even today, when Reese wasn’t putting on her uniform, but rather chinos and a cotton shirt, she went about the small tasks of getting ready for the day in an efficient, practiced manner. It was one of the things Tory found so comforting about her lover. Reese exuded strength and stability.

  It had been frightening at first to discover how quickly she had come to rely on Reese’s unwavering presence, how rapidly she had surrendered to the safety and comfort of that love. Now, three years later, she would see Reese sleeping beside her, or propped up in bed reading, or preparing for work, and find herself amazed still that this remarkable woman was in her life. It was at those times when a sudden pulse of fear raced through her, and she remembered what life had been like before Reese and imagined the impossibility of a future without her.

  Reese glanced over and caught the contemplative expression on Tory’s face. “What are you thinking?”

  “Oh…” Tory blushed faintly at being caught in such pointless reverie. “How much I love you.”

  “Still, huh?” Reese’s blue eyes danced as she crossed the bedroom and slid her arms around Tory’s waist. Her lips were soft, her kiss gentle. A moment later, she asked, “You okay about today?”

  “Just a little bit nervous,” Tory confessed.

  “Since you always tell me that everything is just routine,” Reese reminded her gently, “I never kno
w whether I should worry or not.”

  “Well, an amniocentesis is routine, and thousands are done every day.” Tory lightly kissed Reese’s jaw. “But it’s always a little different when it’s you.”

  “Yes, and it’s even harder when it’s not.”

  Tory leaned back in the circle of Reese’s arms and studied her intently. “What do you mean?”

  “It’s hard for me not being able to do anything about you being pregnant.”

  “Do?” Tory raised an eyebrow. “What would you like to do, sweetheart?”

  “I’d like to make sure it’s perfect. I’d like to keep you safe.” Reese kissed Tory’s forehead. “Protect and serve—those are the things I know how to do.”

  “Oh, Reese,” Tory breathed, her smile soft. “You do so much more than you’ll ever know—for me, for Bri, for Kate.” She smoothed her palm over Reese’s chest and kissed her again. “Let’s go to the airport.”

  *

  Two hours later, Reese and Tory arrived at Boston City Hospital, where Tory usually spent her time as an attending physician in the emergency room and not as a patient. When they reached the outpatient obstetrical clinic, they were greeted by a happy cry of welcome.

  “Tory!”

  “Oh my God, Cath! You didn’t have to come in just for this.” Tory gathered her sister into a tight hug.

  “I haven’t seen you in weeks, and this was a great excuse to leave the kids with Danny for the day.” Tory’s younger sister, a fairer-haired, blue-eyed version of Tory, threw both arms around the pregnant woman and kissed her vigorously on both cheeks. Then she stepped back to allow her eyes to roam over Tory’s form. “Look at you. You’re gorgeous.” She turned to Reese. “Isn’t she?”

  Smiling, Reese nodded. “Yes. Beautiful.”

  Blushing profusely, Tory grabbed both Cath and Reese by the hand and pulled them out of the center of the hallway. “Be quiet, you two. You’re embarrassing me.”