Wanting More

by Jennifer Foor

  When I left I called Conner right away. I couldn't wait to brainstorm with him about what could possibly be in the truck that could save me from losing everything. Conner, who was more concerned about me calling a lawyer, then rooting through my husband’s vehicle, insisted that he go through the truck instead of me. As much as I thought it was a bad idea, it was still a matter of getting inside of it without him knowing.

  We came up with a plan that Conner was going to break into his truck when he was at work. All he had to do was break the window and grab every bit of paperwork out of the glove compartment and under the seats and then drive away. It was a simple task.

  Unfortunately, right before Rick left for work, I got a pain in my side that forced me down on the floor. Rick found me lying there in a ball and carried me to his truck, where he drove me to the hospital.

  Once they got me inside, they assumed I had some kind of food poisoning. My first thought was that he'd tried to poison me. Rick went outside to call his work and tell them that he was at the hospital with me when the doctor came in to give me the results of the blood tests.

  "Mrs. Ussery, how are you feeling now?"

  "The pain isn't so bad."

  "What is the date of your last menstrual period?"

  I shrugged. I don't really get a regular period. It doesn't even matter. I can't have kids, so you don't have to test for that."

  He looked up at me and cocked his eyebrow. "I see. I would like to do an internal sonogram, where we go in vaginally and you don't have to drink all that fluid."

  "Okay." I just wanted them to give me medicine and send me home. I needed to call Conner.

  A few moments later they were wheeling me in the back to get the test. The doctor came in with my chart and started writing inside of it. "So where were you tested for fertility issues?"

  "I wasn't. It was too expensive, but my husband and I tried for years and it never happened. Now, I barely get a period."

  The nurse and the doctor pointed to the screen and talked amongst themselves.

  "Ma'am, from the looks of this test, you're about four to four and a half months along."

  Holy crap!

  I shook my head. "That's not possible." There was only one person I had been with and I couldn’t believe it. It was Conner’s.

  He laughed and pointed to the screen. "This is your baby."

  "I haven't been sick, or gained weight."

  "Consider yourself lucky. You're almost halfway through and haven't had any side effects."

  He turned up the volume and the room filled with the sound of a baby's heartbeat. Tears rolled down my eyes. I'd always wanted a baby, but I'd never talked to Conner about it. He was going to freak out. Being with me was one thing, but having a kid too was too much. I couldn't ask him to do that.

  "You'll need to make an appointment as soon as possible with an obstetrician and begin a regiment of prenatal vitamins."

  I was hearing him, but I felt like the room was closing in on me.

  "Are you ready to go back to your room and be discharged?" The nurse was starting to wheel me back in.

  I grabbed her arm. "No! Wait! Please don't tell my husband my diagnosis. He can't know I'm pregnant. This isn't his baby."

  She looked at me like I was a horrible person, but smiled anyway. "I won't tell him. I will make sure the discharge nurse doesn't mention it either. I hope you know that you will start showing soon."

  "I'm leaving him tomorrow." It just came out of my mouth.

  Rick was still not back in the room when I got back and soon they were sending me out with a card for a doctor and a bunch of dirty looks.

  I found Rick on his cell phone when I walked outside. He got off really quick and walked toward me. "What did they say?"

  "Food poisoning. I have to let it run its course."

  He grabbed my arm and helped me into the truck. I smiled, but was shaking so bad that he had to have noticed. "Did they give you medicine?"

  This was my moment. A light bulb flashed in my head and I knew exactly how to go through his truck. I leaned down in my seat and pretended to cry in pain. "Oh, God, they said I could take pain medication and stomach medicine. Just drive to the pharmacy."

  He patted my leg and drove us straight there. When he parked I pretended that I couldn't move. "I don't think I can walk in there. Please can you go for me?"

  He hesitated, but climbed out of the truck and promised to be fast. I watched him walk in that store and ripped through that truck. It didn't take me long to find his stash under the seat. Shelby had been right. Every single paper had my name on it. The one thing that caught my eye was a bunch of envelopes postmarked from my father. The weird thing was that they were addressed to a post office box that I didn't recognize. I grabbed one and opened it as I kept looking out for Rick.

  Amy, I've sent you over ten letters and I realize that you don't want to talk to me, but I have something important that I need to give you. Please contact me as soon as possible.

  Love, Dad.

  I tucked the letter back in the envelope and opened the next one.

  Amy, after meeting with Rick and hearing how you feel about the money, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me someday. I know I wasn't always the best parent, but I do love you.

  Dad.

  What money?

  The date on the postmark was five years ago. That was before I even had the salon. It made no sense. I'd never gotten money or even talked to my father. Before I could search any further I saw Rick walking toward the door. I tucked everything back the way it was and crunched up in a ball.

  I don't know why he kept the letters, but I did know that my dad had been reaching out to me the whole time.

  When Rick got back in the vehicle, we started on our way home and seemed concerned. He helped me get in the house, and even into bed. I waited until he went to sleep, to go in the bathroom and text Conner. Of course I had a million messages.

  What is going on. He isn't at work.-c

  You need to call me, I'm freaking out.-c

  Amy please call me.-c

  I'm ready to call the police. Call me.-c

  I shook my head and text him back. Although, I couldn't exactly text the truth.

  I went to the hospital. I'm home and fine, but Rick stayed home from work. I will call you tomorrow. I promise I'm okay. I love you. -A

  Damn, you had me so scared. Are you alright?-c

  Yes. I'll be fine.-a

  I love you, darlin. If you need me you call.-C

  I will.-a

  I sat in the bathroom and started to cry. I wanted to be with Conner and I wanted my baby, but I really couldn't see him wanting it too. I was now this package deal and I knew that it could be a deal breaker.

  I got up the next morning and got myself ready for work like normal. Rick woke up and made me breakfast. "Are you sure that you want to work all day?"

  I finished my food and washed my plate. "It's too close to Christmas for me to call out of work. My clients would never forgive me." I leaned over and kissed the top of his head, to avoid having to kiss his mouth.

  My drive to work was filled with more anxiety. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, like some crazy lunatic. As if I didn't have enough added to my plate, but now a baby. All I knew is that I had to move out of my house, in the next couple of days.

  I called Rick to tell him I was working late and Conner met me to drive out to see my father. I should have called to tell him I was coming, but I just wanted to get it over with and not be rejected by him.

  Being in the truck with Conner should have made me feel happy, but all I could think about was the baby I was carrying. When he found out about it, he was going to drop me like an old hat. I felt so sad.

  We pulled up at the hardware store and noticed that it looked different. When we went inside I realized why. The guy at the register smiled and greeted us. "Hey folks, can I help you find something?"

  "I'm looking for my father, Joe Martin."

>   "Wow, I haven't heard that name in a long time. Joe sold this place a little over five years ago. Last I heard he was still living in the same place though."

  "Okay, thank you."

  I'd explained to Conner what I found in the truck and when he heard what the guy at the hardware said, he wasn't too happy. "You know how this is lookin' right?"

  "Yeah, I know. Let’s just get there and find out."

  I told him where to drive and soon we were sitting in front of my father's house. I looked over at Conner and he winked at me and grabbed my hand. "You ain't doin' this alone, darlin'."

  "I know."

  I just hoped that when he found out about my own little secret, he'd still be saying that.

  Chapter 35

  Conner

  Finally, after almost a damn year of wanting to have a real relationship with this woman, I felt like I had it. The first step was her wanting to leave. I think early on she knew that she didn’t want to be with him anymore, but now it was different, she was determined to get out of there.

  We approached the door to her father’s large rancher and she took a couple breaths before knocking on it. I held her hand the whole time, letting her know that I was right there next to her. She’d told me all about her father and their estranged relationship.

  I hated that he’d turned his back on her. I lost my father when I was too young to appreciate having him in my life, there was no way in hell I would ever be able to push my own child out of my life. When or if I ever had children, I would always be around.

  An older man, who appeared to be in his late sixties, answered the door. His eyes got really big as he looked from me and then to Amy. I think her hair caught him off guard. “I never pegged you as a redhead.”

  “Hi, Dad.” They just stood there, not moving from their positions.

  I extended my hand to the man to break the awkward stare between them. “Hi, I’m Conner Healy.”

  He noticed that Amy and I were still holding hands. “Come in, will you?”

  I nodded as we walked through the doorway and into a large foyer. He guided us back to the kitchen area and pulled out two chairs. As we sat down I couldn’t help but notice their body language. Both of them seemed completely uncomfortable being around each other.

  “I gotta say, I’m a little taken back by this visit. I was under the impression that you never wanted to talk to me again, especially after you never mentioned any of my letters, until this year and it didn’t make any sense to me.”

  “Dad, I never got any letters from you. That’s why I’m here. I found something in Rick’s truck and I wanted to know what is going on.” Amy folded her hands in front of her on the table.

  “Three months after you married Rick and moved out, I reached out to you. He told me that you refused to talk to me and wanted nothing to ever do with me again. It broke my damn heart, but I knew it was because I’d been so stubborn when it came to you. I still kept sending you letters, hoping that one day you would call me or write me back. After a while, Rick started replying and talking to me.”

  “The first time I saw a letter was when I just found a stack in Rick’s truck. What about the letter I sent you? I left my contact information.”

  “Amy, you need to understand that your letter made no sense to me. I’d been reaching out to you for so long and all of the sudden you write me and say that you haven’t heard from me in years. I called Rick right away and he told me that you’d had a nervous breakdown. I offered to help with medical expenses and sent him more money so that you had the best care and didn’t have to worry about bills.” I stood up from my stool and had to walk around. Amy needed to see what was going on here.

  She sat there putting her hands in her face and shaking her head. “I never had a nervous breakdown and I sure as hell didn’t receive any money from you. I’ve taken less than five days off since we bought the salon.”

  “Yeah, I figured when I did that for you, it would bring you back into my life.”

  I turned around and faced the man slowly, and in that amount of time, I heard Amy gasp. “Did you just say that you bought my salon?”

  The old man cocked his eyebrow. “You didn’t know?”

  She shook her head. “Rick told me he bought it. In fact, he wouldn’t even let me go with him when he signed the papers. He told me it was my gift from him.”

  “Sweetie, your stepmother, well, my wife, she wrote some books and made a heck of a lot of money. We sold the hardware store almost six years ago. Since I didn’t need all the money and I knew you were struggling, I bought the salon as a business investment for you. How could you not have known something like that? Your name is on the deed to the building.” He leaned back against the counter and seemed just as confused as Amy was.

  “I don’t understand any of this. Rick told me he bought that salon and if I left him, I would lose everything.”

  “I don’t know what’s going on here, but that salon is yours. I have a copy of the deed to prove it. Rick has no claim to it at all. I even paid for the business license. After hearing this much, please tell me that you’ve left that man, Amy. I can’t make up for being absent, but you have to know that I never wanted that kind of life for you. All this time I thought you were happy and resented me as a parent.”

  I walked closer toward the man and caught his attention. “Sir, forgive me for cuttin’ in, but I think it’s obvious what’s happened here. Clearly, Amy had been lied to for years.”

  “I am seeing that.” He stood up straight and reached across the counter to grab Amy’s arm. She sat up in her seat, but didn’t pull away from her father. “Have you left that man?”

  Amy looked at me and smiled with tears running down her face. “Yes, well, I am leaving, but not just because of all of this. It’s so much more, Dad. God, the last seven years of my life have been a lie. I can’t believe this is happening to me.” Her head laid down on the granite counter and she began to sob. Her father kept a hold of his daughter and rubbed her arm as she let out the pain and tension of feeling trapped.

  He looked over at me and took in the tattoos on my arms and probably how young I looked. “Son, can I ask what your relationship is with my daughter?”

  I cleared my throat and walked up behind her to rest my hands on her shoulder. Before I could answer, Amy sat up and looked back at me. She smiled through the tears. “He’s my boyfriend. He…” More tears came and she could barely speak. “He protected me from Rick. He saved me.”

  The poor man looked up at me. “Saved her from what?”

  I could see the fear in his eyes as he looked from me and then back to his daughter. “Sir, your daughter has been in an abusive relationship. My sister works at the salon and they’re close friends. Look, I realize that you probably don’t agree with extra-marital affairs, I reckon’ no father would, but I can assure you that I love your daughter. I wake up every single day wishing she was with me, where she’d always be safe and loved.”

  I watched his face turn from concerned to pained. His eyes became glossy as the reality of the situation hit him. “My God, Amy, why didn’t you just come home? I would have made sure that disgrace of a man never came near you again.”

  “Because I thought you didn’t love me anymore. I thought you would turn me away and I couldn’t feel rejection from anyone else in my life.”

  The emotions in the room were hard even for me to handle. I saw two people that loved each other and had been lied to in order for one man to be in control of his wife. It made me sick that such people existed in the world.

  “Amy, I’m your father. I know I was hard on you and said things I shouldn’t have, but I wouldn’t ever want you to suffer the way you have.” He looked up at me. “He really hurt her; like he hit her?”

  I nodded my head. “Yes, sir and I’m afraid even worse than that at times.”

  He shook his head. “My God! I had no idea. You have to believe that, Amy.”

  “Look, dredging up the past isn’t going
to help matters right now. Amy needs your help. Rick is pretty much holdin’ her a prisoner and makin’ her think she has to stay because she won’t have anything if she leaves. I have to say, I’ve offered for her to come and stay with me for a while now, and that salon is what’s keepin’ her from comin’.”

  He stood straight up and looked me right in the eye. “You tell me what I have to do and I’ll do it.”

  I thought about her coming to stay with me, but with my family crowding in and Rick expecting her to come to me, she needed a place where he wouldn’t go. “She needs a place to stay until I get us a place together. It won’t be that long, maybe a couple of weeks.”

  Amy looked as if I had slapped her in the face. “But I…”

  I put my hands back on her shoulders. “I need you to be safe for now. It’s just until I can find us a place. I promise.” I looked up at Amy’s father. “I’m goin’ to give you two some time to catch up. If you need me, I’ll just be outside.”

  Amy needed a lot more time to work out things with her father, but for now, she was safe and that’s what I needed her to be. Now, I just needed to figure out how I was going to tell my entire family that I was moving out to live with my married girlfriend.

  Chapter 36

  Amy

  My world was spinning in every different direction and I was getting lost in all of the confusion. My father, who I hadn’t spoken to in so long, had been there for me this whole time. Rick has spun a web of lies and trapped me in a loveless marriage.

  I didn’t know how far the extent of the financial lies he’d told was, but I was certain that if the salon was mine, there was more he was keeping from me.

  Still, I had a way out and knew for a fact he couldn’t take my business from me. The only thing I had to worry about now was getting my things and making sure he didn’t come after me. Even through the emotional reunion with my father, I couldn’t take my mind off of feeling like I was finally going to be free of that man. I hated him so much.