Secrets of the Heart

by Al Lacy

“Madison and Western!” Alice said. “Mrs. Stallworth, that’s the intersection where Meggie saw Kathleen the day we met you at the store! Meggie and I have passed there dozens of times since, and she always looks at all the people.”

  John turned to his granddaughter. “Meggie, how did you get downtown from here?”

  “I walked, Grandpa.”

  “But how could you possibly have found your way?”

  “I know the streets to walk. Miss Alice and me have walked downtown lots of times.”

  “That’s right, honey,” Alice said. “You know the way as well as I do.”

  Meggie’s face pinched as she said to Maria, “I couldn’t find Mommy, Grandma. Please take me to where my mommy lives. I want to be with her.”

  “Meggie, how did you get your coat off the rack in your closet?” John said.

  The little girl blinked. “I dragged a chair into my room from across the hall. I got up on the chair, took my coat down, then dragged the chair back across the hall.”

  “Take her to her room and wash her face, Alice,” Maria commanded, suddenly feeling the need to sit down.

  The policemen excused themselves.

  When the Stallworths were alone, John said, “Maria, I don’t know how you could even think that Kathleen would come back here and try to kidnap Meggie.”

  Her head came up and her eyes flashed anger. “I wouldn’t put anything past her, John. Something deep inside tells me she’s plotting and planning a way to get Meggie away from us.”

  On Wednesday, January 30, Kathleen was sewing a new dress at the kitchen table when she heard the rattle of a wagon beside the house. She opened the back door and saw Tom pulling rein at the small barn out back. She grabbed up her shawl and dashed out to meet him.

  “Hello, beautiful!” he called. “Want to hear some good news?”

  Kathleen stepped off the porch as he climbed down from the wagon seat. She watched him reach into a coat pocket and hold up something that glittered in the sun.

  “Tom! You made a strike!”

  “Sure did, sweetheart! A big one!”

  She ran to his open arms, and after they had kissed several times, he said, “Let’s go inside where it’s warm. I’ll unhitch the mules in a little while.”

  At the kitchen table, Tom took both her hands and said, “Kathleen, I struck gold in a rich vein in the Virginia Mountains about twenty miles north of here. Took me a while, but I found a good one! And only being twenty miles away, I can come home every night!”

  “Oh, darling,” she said, her eyes brimming with happy tears, “I’m so glad! So you staked your claim?”

  “Sure did. Took care of it at the government office in Reno. I’ll be going back to start digging hard in a couple of days. I want to take you and Caleb with me so you can see it.”

  Kathleen wasn’t even aware of her words when she cried, “Thank God, Tom! Thank God!”

  As the warm days of spring came to Nevada, the Harned Lode proved to be even richer than Tom had anticipated. In late February he started hiring a crew, and by the end of March his crew totaled a dozen men. The mine was doing so well he needed a foreman to oversee it. He offered the job to his good friend Hank Mitchell.

  Hank could foresee the demonetization of silver because of rich gold veins being found all over the West, and he knew his job with Henry Comstock would be gone before long. Though Tom could not yet pay him what Comstock was paying him, Hank accepted the offer.

  One warm afternoon in early April, Kathleen was setting a potted plant on the front porch of the house when she saw Caleb leave his school chums and run toward the house.

  “Hi, Mom!” he said as he ran up the steps.

  “Hi yourself, honey.” She gathered him close in a big hug and kissed the top of his head. “Caleb, you know what I saw a moment ago when you came into the yard?”

  “Huh-uh.”

  “The sun on your hair made it look like an angel’s halo.” She kissed the top of his head again. “You’re Mom’s little angel boy!”

  Caleb looked up at her, stunned. “Mom…?”

  “Yes, sweetheart?”

  “Did Dad tell you that’s what Mommy called me?”

  Kathleen’s face went blank. “No. He never told me anything like that.”

  “You didn’t know anything about it?”

  “No. Of course not.”

  “Well…Mommy told me about my hair looking like a halo in the sunshine, and she kissed my head and called me her little angel boy.”

  “Oh, honey, I’m sorry. I had no idea. I didn’t mean to take your mothers place. Really, I didn’t. I’m sorry.”

  Caleb shook his head, smiling. “Oh, no! Don’t be sorry.” He hugged her, then looked up into her eyes. “I want you to call me your little angel boy, ‘cause—”

  “‘Cause why?” Kathleen said, running her fingers through his golden locks.

  “‘Cause that means I can call you Mommy.”

  Kathleen stared at him in astonishment, unable to say a word.

  “Can I call you Mommy?”

  “Oh, Caleb,” she said, taking him into her arms. “You’ve made me so happy! I still wouldn’t ever try to take your real mommy’s place, but it means more to me than I can ever tell you that you want to call me your mommy!”

  For the rest of the day, Kathleen rejoiced in her heart that she had gained Caleb’s full trust and love. The knowledge made her miss Meggie even more.

  That evening after Kathleen had tucked Caleb into bed and kissed him good-night, she joined Tom at the kitchen table where he was going over his mine records with pencil in hand.

  “Darling,” she said, “we’ve never really talked about how much we’ve made since you opened the mine.”

  “We’ve done quite well, considering all the expenses. You know, the payroll, the continual need to buy new equipment, royalties to the government…that sort of thing.”

  “So how much have we profited after paying for all those things?”

  “Up to now, we’ve netted about twenty thousand. I’ve been putting most of it in the bank. The way it’s going, we’ll do a whole lot better than that in the days to come.”

  Kathleen nodded. “So how soon would I be able to have my share of the profits?”

  Tom laid down his pencil. “Kathleen,” he said in a loving tone, “isn’t it about time you told your husband what it is you need this money for, and how much it has to be?”

  She felt a tingle at the back of her neck and licked her lips nervously. “I can’t tell you yet what it’s for, but it has to be at least $30,000.”

  Tom’s eyebrows arched. “Thirty thousand? Well, that is substantial. But I don’t understand. I’m your husband. We shouldn’t have secrets from each other. Why can’t you tell me what this is all about?”

  Kathleen flushed. “I…I just can’t.”

  There was a slight edge to Tom’s voice when he said, “Who do you owe, Kathleen? And for what? I’m your husband, and I have a right to know!”

  “I don’t owe anybody, Tom! Why can’t you trust me? You agreed at the very beginning that if I gave you my five-hundred-dollar nest egg to help stake the claim, I would get my share if the mine paid off. You just said that since we opened the mine we’ve netted $20,000. Shouldn’t $10,000 of that be mine? And you just said we would do better in the days to come. So it shouldn’t be too awfully long till I could have an additional $20,000.”

  “Kathleen, it’s not the amount of money I’m concerned about, it’s why you need it!”

  “I can’t tell you! Don’t you understand? I—”

  “Mommy, what’s the matter?” came a small voice at the kitchen door. “Dad, why are you arguing with Mommy?”

  “And why aren’t you asleep, son?”

  “I was. But I heard you and Mommy arguing. Please don’t argue. I want you to love each other.”

  Kathleen went to the boy and wrapped her arms around him. “I’m sorry, Caleb. The argument was my fault.”

  Tom came
over and laid his hand on Caleb’s shoulder. “No, son, it wasn’t her fault. It was mine. I let my temper get the best of me.”

  “But what are you arguing about, Dad? Don’t you love each other anymore?”

  “Just some things about money, and we shouldn’t have argued about them. And yes, we still love each other. Your mom and I—wait a minute! Did I hear you call her Mommy?”

  “Uh-huh. That’s what I call her now, ‘cause she called me her little angel boy.”

  Tom looked at Kathleen, who still held the boy close. “You called him your little angel boy?”

  “Yes. I had no idea Loretta called him that. I saw the sun make a halo on his head today, and I called him my little angel boy. That was when he said he wanted to call me Mommy.”

  When Caleb was back in bed, and Tom and Kathleen were back in the kitchen, he took her in his arms and said, “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

  “I’m sorry, too,” she said, caressing his cheek. “I love you, darling. I…I just have to ask you to trust me about this money thing right now. Someday—and I hope it’s soon—when I have the amount I need, I can tell you all about it. Then you’ll understand.”

  Tom nodded. “All right. I’ll trust you on it.”

  Kathleen raised up on tiptoe and kissed him. “Thank you.”

  As time passed the Harned Lode continued to produce more gold, and the personal finances of the mine’s owners increased. Kathleen watched the bank accounts grow, and she knew the day was coming closer when she could return to Chicago.

  She thought about Meggie constantly and found it unbearable not to know how she was doing. Finally, one day when Tom was at the mine and Caleb was at school, she decided to write to Hennie again and ask her to look in on Meggie. She had not written to Hennie since she’d married Tom for fear he would see the return letter.

  She’d just have to chance it now.

  On a Thursday night in early May, Tom, Kathleen, and Caleb were playing one of Kathleen’s Irish games at the kitchen table.

  “You know, Tom, I just remembered something,” Kathleen said. “A couple of weeks ago, when you were out of town, the pastor and his wife came by again and said they wished we’d come visit their church some Sunday.”

  “I’m not surprised. They’ve been trying to get me to come ever since I met them.”

  “I don’t much care to go, but maybe we should, just once…you know, so they won’t keep asking us.”

  “Tell you what, Kathleen, let’s do it this Sunday and get it over with. Maybe that’ll get the preacher off our backs.”

  On Sunday after the morning service, the Harneds walked home in silence, both Kathleen and Tom lost in their own thoughts.

  Pastor Humbert had preached salvation plain and clear, giving the gospel of Jesus Christ with power. He warned sinners of the danger of dying in their sins and spending eternity in hell. A few people had responded to the altar call.

  Caleb had listened intently to the fiery preaching and walked along in the same silence that hovered around his parents.

  The next day at noon, Kathleen answered a knock at her door and looked into Donna Mitchell’s smiling face.

  “Hello,” Kathleen said, opening the door wide. “Come in, Donna.”

  “I’m on my lunchtime,” Donna said, “so I can only stay a minute. I just wanted to tell you how good it was to see you and your family in church yesterday.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Will you be coming back again?”

  “Oh, I expect we’ll be back sometime.”

  “We’d sure love to see you come on a regular basis.”

  Kathleen hunched her shoulders. “Maybe, someday.”

  “Hank sure loves working for Tom. They get along so well.”

  “And Tom thinks the world of Hank. He’s a hard worker, and Tom appreciates it.”

  “I’m a little concerned with them working so deep in the mountain now. I imagine you are, too.”

  Kathleen frowned. “How deep?”

  “Hank says they’re about two hundred and fifty feet in.”

  Kathleen smiled weakly. “Tom knows I was worried about that when he was employed by Mr. Comstock. He’s probably not said anything about it because of that.”

  “No doubt. Hank assures me they’ve taken every precaution to make it cave-in safe. Well, I must get back to the hotel. Just wanted to tell you how glad Hank and I were to see you in church yesterday.”

  That evening at the supper table, Caleb sat quietly while Kathleen talked to Tom about safety measures at the mine. Tom assured her that his mine tunnels were braced with heavy timbers, just like Henry Comstock’s. There was always a possibility that something could go wrong, but it was unlikely.

  When that discussion ended, Tom eyed his preoccupied son and said, “Caleb, you’re not talking, which is very unusual for you. Is something bothering you?”

  The boy looked up timidly and said, “What’s hell?”

  Tom and Kathleen looked at each other, nonplussed.

  “Where did you hear that word?” Tom said.

  “At church, yesterday morning. Pastor Humbert said if people didn’t get saved they’d go to hell, and there’s fire there.”

  “Has this been bothering you, Caleb?” Kathleen asked.

  “Yes, Mommy.” The boy paused. “What does it mean to be saved?”

  Kathleen looked to Tom, who said, “Caleb, hell is where real bad people go when they die. You don’t have to worry about that.”

  The child cocked his head to one side. “But Pastor Humbert read from the Bible that everybody is a sinner, and that Jesus died on the cross so sinners could be saved from hell if they would ask Him to come into their heart and save them.”

  Toms felt a prick of irritation. “Did Mrs. Humbert read you those kinds of things from the Bible when you stayed with her?”

  “No, sir. She talked a lot about Jesus, but she didn’t say anything about hell. She read me stories about God making the world, and about King David killing that big giant, and about Noah in the ark, and Jesus dying on the cross, and things like that.”

  Tom changed the subject abruptly and talked about going on a family picnic the next Sunday.

  At bedtime, Caleb brought up the subject again when Kathleen was tucking him in. Kathleen told him everything was all right. He didn’t need to worry about hell, but he did need to get to sleep.

  The next day, Kathleen went to the post office as usual about one o’clock in the afternoon. There was a letter from Hennie O’Banion. She ripped it open as soon as she was on the boardwalk.

  Hennie had been able to peer through the fence and get a good look at Meggie. The child was fine but looked a bit unhappy. Hennie felt sure it was because Meggie missed her mother.

  Kathleen wept when she read those words. Drying her tears, she finished reading the letter, which closed off:

  I miss seeing you. I pray often that one day the Lord will let us get together again. More than that, I pray every day that you will open your heart to Jesus and be saved. I love you, and I want you in heaven with me when this life is over. I can never give up on that. Please write to me again. In the meantime, I will look in on Meggie every week or so.

  Your loving friend,

  Hennie

  Kathleen slipped the letter back in the envelope and mumbled, “Hennie, I love you too, but you might as well give up. I’m just not interested in your beliefs, nor Pastor Humbert’s.”

  When she arrived home, her first inclination was to burn the letter, as she had done with the previous one. But as she held it in her hand, it struck her that the letter was her only physical contact with Meggie. It came from Chicago. Instead of burning it, she placed it in a shoe box in her bedroom closet. Tom never opened her shoe boxes.

  ONE DAY IN EARLY JULY, Kathleen Harned was watering her flower garden at the side of the house while Caleb and two boys from down the street played cowboys and Indians in the front yard.

  She chuckled to herself as she watched the boy
s at play. Caleb’s friends were both dark-headed, but it was Caleb who was the Indian.

  Suddenly there was a sound of galloping hooves and the rattle of a wagon. The boys stopped their “gunfight” to watch the wagon as it raced down the street and stopped in front of the Harned house. The two horses that pulled the wagon were snorting, and their coats had a sheen of sweat.

  Kathleen recognized Jack Wilmot, one of Toms miners, as he leaped from the wagon seat. The look on his face made her heart skip a beat.

  “Mrs. Harned!” he gasped. “There’s been a cave-in at the mine!”

  “Oh, no! Is—”

  “Tom and four other men are trapped!” said Wilmot as he drew up, panting. “Hank Mitchell told me to come and bring you back with me! The other four wives are being picked up in another wagon.”

  Kathleen’s face drained of color as she asked, “Is Tom—are the men alive?”

  “We don’t know, ma’am.”

  Sheer terror lanced her heart as she called to Caleb. When he reached her side she said, “Son, we have to go with Mr. Wilmot. Dads trapped in the mine.”

  Caleb sat between his mother and Jack Wilmot while the wagon bounded and fishtailed on the dusty road as it headed due north.

  “Jack,” Kathleen said above the thunder of hooves and rattle of wagon, “how deep are Tom and the other men trapped?”

  “About two hundred feet, ma’am, as best we can tell. Most of the men had come out of the mine to eat lunch. Tom and the other four had stayed in for a few minutes to shore up a large wooden beam that was slipping. Apparently that beam gave way and came down.”

  Kathleen felt sick all over and began praying silently, O dear God…don’t let Tom be dead! I lost Peter suddenly…please don’t let it happen to Tom!

  “The rest of our men, along with about forty from other mines, are working as fast as they can to dig them out, Mrs. Harned.”

  Caleb began to cry. “Mommy, I want Dad to be all right. He will, won’t he?”

  Kathleen closed her eyes for the barest instant to get a grip on her own fear. Opening her eyes, she pulled Caleb onto her lap and said in a slightly unsteady voice, “Your father will be all right, Caleb. He’s probably already been rescued by now. You heard Mr. Wilmot say there are lots of men working to rescue him and the other men.”