Ursula K Le Guin

by Powers (2007) (lit)

  "But then Hoby— what did he do to be punished?"

  The teacher was taken aback. "What did he do?" he repeated, looking at my scabs and swellings and splinted finger.

  "But that— that didn't hurt the Family," I said, not knowing how to say what I felt. I meant that if Hoby was punished for what he'd done to me, it should be by his and my people, the slaves. That's why I hadn't said who hurt me. It was between us. It was beneath the Family's notice. But if Hoby was being punished for his attempt to defend Torm, clumsy as it had been, then it was so unfair that it must be a mistake— a misunderstanding.

  "What happened to you was no accident," Everra said, "though in your loyalty to your schoolmate you say it was. But Hoby was insolent to me. And through me the authority of the Father acts in this classroom. That cannot be tolerated, Gavir. Listen now; come sit here."

  He went to sit at the reading table, and I went to sit by him, as I would when reading with him. "Loyalty is a great thing, but loyalty misplaced is troublesome and dangerous. I know you're troubled. Everyone in the House is troubled. The death of a child is a pitiable thing. You're hearing wild, angry talk, maybe, in the barrack and the dormitory. When you hear such talk, you must think what this household is: Is it a wilderness? Is it a battlefield? Is it an endless, hidden war of sullen rage against implacable force? Is that the truth of your life here? Or have you lived here as a member of a family blessed by its ancestors,

  where each person has his part to play, always striving to act with justice?"

  He let me think that over a minute, and went on, "When in doubt, Gavir, look up. Not down. Look up for guidance. Strength comes from above. Your part is with the highest in this House. Born wild as you were, a slave as you are, as I am, without family, yet you've been taken into the heart of a great household and given all you need— shelter and food, great Ancestors and a kindly Father to guide you. And as well as all that, nourishment for your spirit— the learning I was given and can pass on to you. You have been given trust. The sacred gift. Our Family trusts us, Gavir. They entrust their sons and daughters to me! How can I earn that honor? By my loyal effort to deserve it, I wish when I die it might be said of me, He never betrayed those who trusted him.'"

  His dry voice had become gentle, and he looked at me a while before he went on. "You know, Gavir, behind you, in the wilderness you came from, there's nothing for you. In the shifting sands beneath you, there's nothing for you to build on. But look up! Above you, in the power that sustains you and the wisdom offered to you— there you can set your heart, there you can put your trust. There you will find treasure. And justice. And a mother's mercy, which you never knew."

  It was as if he talked of the house I had dreamed of, that sunlit house where I was safe and welcome and free. He restored it to me in waking life.

  I couldn't say anything, of course. He saw what comfort he had given me, though, and he reached out to pat my shoulder, as the boy in the courtyard had, a light, brotherly touch.

  He stood up to break the mood. "What shall we take to read in the summer?" he asked, and I said without thinking, "Not Trudec!"

  * * *

  The Family had stayed in the city for the past two summers, since the farm had not been considered safe from roving bands of Votusan soldiers out for plunder in the Ventine Hills; but our army had a camp now near Vente and had driven the Votusans back to their city gates.

  I remembered the farm as a marvelous place. It was as if I felt the warmth of summer whenever I thought about it. Even the preparations for going were exciting, and when we actually set off, a great straggling procession of horse-drawn chariots and wagons and donkey carts and outriders and people afoot going through the streets of Etra to the River Gate, it was as good as a heroes' parade, even if we didn't have drums and trumpets. The chariots in which the women and girls and old people of the Family rode were high and ungainly and seemed too wide for the bridge across the Nisas; but Sem and Tan and all the drivers and outriders were in their glory, guiding the teams across, hoofs clattering on the bridge, plumes on the harnesses nodding. Sotur's elder brothers rode ahead with Yaven on fine saddle horses. The wagons and carts came creaking behind, with a lot of shouting and whipcracking, and the inevitable donkey who did not want to cross the bridge. Some of the women and little children rode on the wagons, high on the piled-up goods and foodstuff, but most of us walked, and when people stopped to watch us go by, Tib and I waved at them with patronising pity, because we were going to the country and they, poor cockroaches, had to stay all summer in the city.

  Tib and I were like dogs on an outing, traveling three times farther than anybody else because we kept running up the line of the procession and back to the back again. By noon we had become a bit less energetic and mostly stayed close to the women's wagon, where Sallo and Ris had to ride, because they were getting to the age where girls can't run loose; they had Oco with them, and several babies, and the

  kitchen women, who were always good for a handout of food when Tib and I came panting by.

  The road was going up now, winding among small hillside fields and oak groves; ahead were the round green summits of the Ventine Hills. As we climbed we began to be able to look back over the countryside and see the silver curve of the Nisas where it ran down to the wider river Morr, Across the Nisas was Etra, our city, a hazy huddle of roofs of thatch and wood and red tile in the circle of its walls, with four towered gates of yellowish stone. There was the bulk of the Senate House, and the dome of the Forefathers' Shrine. We tried to make out the roofs of Arcamand, and were sure we saw the tops of the sycamore grove by the wall where we used to drill with Torm — miles away, years

  ago. . .

  The wagons creaked slower and slower, the horses strained at the climb, the drivers flicked their whips, the gaudy tops of the chariots up ahead dipped and rocked as the high wheels lurched in the ruts of the dusty road. The sun was hot, the breeze in the shade of the roadside oaks cool. Cattle and goats in the wood-fenced pastures watched our procession solemnly; colts at a horse farm went bucking off stiff-legged at the sight of the chariots, and then came mincing back to have another look. Somebody came running down the line of carts and wagons, a girl— Sotur, who had escaped from the Family and now clambered up onto the wagon to sit with Ris and Sallo. She was flushed with the excitement of her escapade and much more talkative than usual— "I told Mother Falimer-io I wanted to ride outside, so she said go ahead, so I came back here. It's all stuffy and jouncy in the chariots, and Redili's baby threw up. It's much better here!" Pretty soon she began to sing, raising her sweet, strong voice in one of the old rounds everybody knew. Sallo and Ris joined in, and the kitchen women, and then people walking or riding in other wagons up the line sang too, so the music carried us up the road into the hills of Vente.

  We came to the Arca farm after sunset, a long day's journey of ten miles.

  To look back on that summer and the summers after it is like looking across the sea to an island, remote and golden over the water, hardly believing that one lived there once. Yet it's still here within me, sweet and intense: the smell of dry hay the endless shrill chant of crickets on the hills, the taste of a ripe, sun-warmed, stolen apricot, the weight of a rough stone in my hands, the track of a falling star through the great summer constellations.

  All the young people slept outdoors, ate together, played together— Yaven, Astano and Sotur and the cousins from Herramand, and Sallo and I, Tib and Ris and Oco. The cousins were a skinny boy and girl of thirteen and ten, Uter and Umo; they had been unwell and their mother, Sotur's elder sister, brought them to the farm hoping the country air would be good for them. There was a whole scrabble of little kids, too— Family babies, Sotur's nieces and nephews, and slave children being mothered— but the women looked after them and we had little to do with them. We "big ones" had lessons with Everra early in the morning and then were set free for the rest of the long, hot day. There was no work for us. The slave women from the city waited on the Famil
y and looked after the huge old farmhouse along with its regular housekeepers, of whom there were plenty. Tib had been brought as a kitchen boy, but was so unneeded that he was released to study and play with us. Everything else on the farm was in the hands of its people. They lived in a fair-sized village, down the hill from the great house, in an oak grove by a stream, and did whatever it was farm people did. We city children knew nothing of them, and were ordered to keep out of their way.

  That was easy. We were busy with our own doings from morning till night, exploring the hills and forests, wading and splashing in the shallow streams, building dams, raiding orchards, making willow whis-

  tles and daisy chains and tree houses, doing everything, doing nothing, whistling and singing and chattering like a flock of starlings. Yaven spent some time with the grown-ups but much more with us, leading us on expeditions up into the hills, or organising us to put on a play or dance to entertain the Family. Everra would write us out a little masque or drama; Astano, Ris, and Sallo had been trained in dance, and with Sotur's pure, true voice to lead the singing, and Yaven playing the lyre, we put on some pretty shows, using the big threshing floor as our stage and the haybarn as our backstage. Tib and I were sometimes the comic relief and sometimes the army. I loved the rehearsals, and the costumes, and the tension and thrill of those evenings; all of us did, and as soon as we'd put on a show and been politely applauded by our noble audience, we started discussing the next one and begging Teacher-di for a subject.

  But the best times of all were the nights after the hot days of midsummer, when it finally began to cool off, and a little wind stirred from the west though heat lightning still played in the dark sky to the south, and we lay on our straw-stuffed mattresses out under the stars and talked, and talked, and talked. . .and one by one fell silent, fell asleep. . .

  If eternity had a season, it would be midsummer. Autumn, winter, spring are all change and passage, but at the height of summer the year stands poised. It's only a passing moment, but even as it passes the heart knows it cannot change.

  Good as my memory is, I'm not always sure what happened in which summer of those three we spent at Vente, because they seem all one long golden day and starlit night.

  I do remember from the first summer how pleasant it was not to have Torm and Hoby with us. Sallo and I spoke of it to each other with surprise, having scarcely known how Hoby's hostility oppressed us or how much we feared Torm's outbreaks. Miv's death, though we seldom

  spoke of it, had made our dread of Torm urgent and immediate. It was wonderful to be completely away from him.

  Astano and Yaven seemed to be relieved and released by his absence as much as we were. They were older, they were Family, but here they played with us without observance of age or class. It was the last summer of Yaven's boyhood and he enjoyed it as a boy, active, high-spirited, careless of his dignity, joyful in his strength. With him and us and away from the restraint or the women of the Family, his sister As-tano too became merry and bold. It was Astano who first led us on a fruit raid in our neighbors orchards. "Oh, they'll never miss a few apricots," she said, and showed us the shortcut to the back of the orchard where the pickers hadn't come yet and wouldn't notice us. . .

  Although they did, of course, and taking us for common thieves, came shouting and hurling rocks and clods at us with deadlier intent than ever Tib and I had when we were being Votusans. We fled. When we got onto our own land, Yaven, panting and laughing, recited from

  The Bridge on the Nisas —

  Then fled the Morvan soldiers, The men of Morva ran, Like sheep before the ravening wolf, They fled the Erran van!

  "Those men are horrible," Ris said. She'd barely gotten away from a big fellow who chased her to the borderline and threw a rock after her, which luckily just grazed her arm. "Brutes!"

  Sallo was comforting little Oco, who had been following us into the orchard when we all came flying past her in a shower of rocks and clods. Oco was scared, but soon reassured by our laughter and Yaven's posturing. Yaven was always aware of the younger children's fears and feelings, and was particularly gentle with Oco. He picked her up to ride on his shoulder while he declaimed,

  Are we then men of Morva, To flee before the foe, Or shall we fight for Etra, Like our fathers long ago?

  "They're just mean," Astano declared. "The apricots are falling off the trees, they'll never get them all picked."

  "We're actually helping them pick," said Sotur. "Exactly. They're just mean and stupid."

  "I suppose we could go ask Senator Obbe if we could pick some fruit in his orchard," said Uter, one of the skinny cousins from Herramand, a very law-abiding kind of boy.

  "It tastes a lot better when you don't ask," Yaven said.

  I was inspired by memories of our skirmishes and sieges in the sycamore grove, which I still missed despite their wretched outcome. I said, "They're Morvans. Cowardly, brutal, selfish Morvans. Are we of Etra to endure their insults?"

  "Certainly not!" said Yaven. "We are to eat their apricots!"

  "When do they stop picking?" Sotur asked.

  "Evening," somebody said. Nobody really knew; we paid no attention to the activities of the farm workers, which went on around us like the doings of the bees and ants and birds and mice, the business of another species. Sotur was for coming back at night and helping ourselves freely to apricots. Tib thought they left dogs in the Obbe orchards to guard them at night. Yaven, taken by my warlike stance, suggested that we plan a raid on the orchards of Morva, but properly conducted this time, with reconnoitering beforehand, and lookouts posted, and perhaps some ammunition stockpiled with which to respond to enemy missiles and defend our retreat if necessary.

  So began the great war between "Etran" Arca and "Morvan" Obbe, which went on in one orchard or another for a month. The farm workers on the Obbe estate soon were keenly aware of us and our depredations, and if we posted lookouts, so did they; but our time was free, we could choose when to strike, while they were bound to their work, to pick the fruit and sort and carry it away, all under the overseer's eye and his lash if they were slow or lazy. We were like birds, flitting in and stealing and flitting off again. We thought nothing of their anger, their hatred of us, and taunted them mercilessly when we'd made a particularly good haul. They'd learned that we weren't all slave children as they'd thought at first, and that tied their hands.

  If a slave threw a rock and hit a young member of the Arca Family, the whole orchard crew might be in mortal trouble. So they had to hold their fire and try to intimidate us merely by numbers and by setting their cur-dogs on us.

  To make up for their disadvantage we made a rule: if they saw us, we had to retreat. It wasn't fair, Astano said, to take fruit openly, under their noses, since they couldn't retaliate; we had to steal it while they were there in the orchard. This rule made it extremely dangerous and exciting, with only one or two tree-robbers per expedition, but any number of watchers and warners to hoot, tweet, chirp, and whistle when the enemy came close. Then, if we'd made off with some plums or early pears, we could pop up on the home side of the boundary, display our loot, and exult in our victory.

  The great fruit wars came to an end when Mother Falimer told Ya-ven that a little group of our farm slave children had been savagely beaten by a group of orcharders at Obbe farm, who caught them stealing plums. One boy had had his eye gouged out. The Mother said nothing to Yaven beyond telling him what had happened, but when he brought the report to the rest of us, he told us that we'd have to stop our raids. The farm children had probably hoped to be mistaken for us and so get away unhurt, but the trick hadn't worked, and the men from Obbe had taken their rage out against them.

  Yaven apologised to us formally for his thoughtlessness in leading us into doing harm, and Astano, repressing tears, joined him. "It was my fault," she said. "Not yours, none of you." They took full responsibility, as they would do when they were grown, when Yaven was the Father of Arcamand and Astano perhaps Mother of another household, when ev
ery decision would be theirs and theirs alone.

  "I hate those awful orchard slaves," Ris said.

  "The farm people really are brutes," Umo said regretfully.

  "Foul Morvans," Tib said.

  We were all disconsolate. If we didn't have an enemy, we needed a cause.

  "I tell you what," Yaven said. "We could do the Fall of Sentas," "Not with weapons," Astano said very softly and lightly, "No, of course not. I mean, like a play." "How?"

  "Well, first we'd have to build Sentas. I was thinking the other day that the top of the hill behind the east vineyard, you know? — it's like a citadel. There are all those big rocks up there. It would be easy to fortify it, and make some trenches and earthworks. Teacher-di has the book here— we could get the plans out of it. Then we could take different parts, you know — Oco could be General Thur, and Gav could say the Envoy's speeches, and Sotur could be the prophetess Yurno. . . We wouldn't have to do the fighting parts. Just the talking."

  It didn't sound very exciting, but we all trooped up to the hilltop, and as Yaven paced around among the big tumbled rocks and described where we could build a wall or make an earthwork, the idea of building a city began to take hold. Later in the afternoon he got Everra to bring out the book and read us passages from the epic, and our imaginations caught fire from the grand words and tragic episodes. We all chose what characters we would be— and all of us were Sentans. Nobody wanted to be a besieging warrior from Pagadi, not even the great General Thur or the hero Rurec, not even though Pagadi had won the war and destroyed the city, so that now, after hundreds of years, Sentas was still a poor little town among great ruined walls. Usually we were on the side of the winners; but we were going to build doomed Sentas, and so her cause was ours, and we would fall with her.