Say the Word

by Julie Johnson

“This isn’t fresh. When did you get this?” His disbelieving stare moved across the script as he read the words over and over. When I remained silent, he finally managed to tear his eyes away and raise them to meet mine. His grip on my shoulders tightened and he bent in close to my face.

  “Tell me.” His tone was ardent, his eyes desperate. “Tell me what happened back then. Why did you run? What made you go? I have to know, Lux.”

  Walk away, my brain shouted at me. For your own good, and his, walk away. Now.

  “I know there are things you think you want to know but, in all honestly you don’t,” I whispered in a small voice, taking a step backward and watching as his hands fell limp to his sides. “You think I’m the victim here, but I’m not. As much as you might wish it, I’m not the damsel in distress in your story, Bash — I’m the villain. The sooner you accept that, the easier this will be.”

  “Goddammit!” Bash cursed, running one hand through his hair and rubbing the back of his neck with the other. “You are fucking impossible.”

  “I have to go.” I turned and headed for the door, picking up my fallen sweatshirt on the way.

  “Walk away again, Lux. You’ve had plenty of practice at it,” Bash called after me.

  I flinched, but kept walking.

  “All that tattoo does is prove that I was right,” he called to my back. “You didn’t leave me back then, not by choice anyway. Something drove you away. And even if you won’t tell me, I’m going to figure it out. I’ll either find a way or make one — thanks for reminding me.”

  Freaking fantastic. I was such a monumental fuck-up.

  “So I wouldn’t run too far, Freckles,” Bash added, his voice a blend of frustration and determination. “Because we’re not finished. Not by a fucking long shot.”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Now

  “Baby, what are you doing here? Not that I’m not glad to see you — I am, always.” Standing in the doorway, Simon tilted his head sideways and looked me up and down. “But first you pull a vanishing act for the past three days and then you show up on my doorstep unannounced and, it must be said, disheveled in an I-just-had-sex kind of way?”

  Damn, he was good.

  “Do you have tequila?” I asked in a voice that was pathetically close to begging.

  Simon’s brows went up. I was a wine girl — he knew this better than most — so if I was asking for liquor, the shit had really hit the fan. I shoved my way past him through the doorway and headed for the kitchen, passing by a shirtless Nate who was sitting on the sectional drinking a beer. He lifted his glass to me as I barreled by, but I didn’t stop to chat. I was a woman on a mission.

  Simon trailed me to the kitchen and made short work of grabbing two shot glasses from the cabinet over the sink. I pulled the bottle of Patrón from its spot on top of the fridge.

  “You’re drinking too?” I asked him, raising one eyebrow at the sight of the second glass.

  “Friends don’t let friends do tequila shots alone.”

  I smiled as I poured out two helpings. I lifted one, clinked it against Simon’s mid-air, and prepared to toss it back.

  “What are we toasting?” Simon asked.

  “Bad decisions,” I said, tilting the shot glass and pouring the burning liquid down my throat.

  “Which, of course, are only ever improved when tequila is involved,” he noted in a wry voice, before throwing back his own serving. He coughed delicately, set both of our glasses in the kitchen sink, and put the cork back in the bottle. “Come on, baby. I have a surprise that’ll make you feel better, and then its story time.”

  “You’re going to read me a story?” I felt my brow furrow as I laced my fingers with Simon’s outstretched hand and allowed myself to be led across the open loft toward his bedroom.

  He snorted. “No, don’t be an idiot. You’re going to tell me the story of why you’re at my apartment at—” He glanced at his watch. “—8:15 p.m. on a Monday night. Call it payment for the tequila shot.”

  I rolled my eyes and followed along in his wake. “What’s my ‘surprise’? It better not involve anything with glitter — and no, before you ask, I will not let you wax my eyebrows again. Last time, I ended up looking like Lindsay Lohan pre-rehab.”

  “That waxing pot was defective!” Simon protested. “It wasn’t my fault!”

  “Mhmm.”

  “You’ll be sorry you ever doubted me when you see what I have for you.” He dropped my hand when we reached the door to his bedroom, and I hopped up on his bed.

  “The suspense is killing me,” I drawled.

  “No need for sarcasm.” Simon crossed his room and grabbed a large garment bag from his closet. I looked from the bag to his face, which bore an alarmingly happy expression as he approached.

  “Oh, no,” I muttered, realization dawning.

  “Oh, yes,” Simon squealed, unzipping the bag with a flourish to reveal a floor-length, Grecian style gown in ice blue. Elegantly draped fabric covered each shoulder and an ornate, silver-gilded belt gathered the material below the breast line to create an empire waist and a plunging v-neck. The daring neckline was far riskier than I’d ever choose for myself and would be sure to turn heads if I tried to squeeze my C-cups into it — but the dress’ real eye-catching feature was the back.

  Or lack-thereof.

  On the other side of the dress, material from each shoulder fell straight down on either side and draped in a low cowl at the small of the back, leaving the entire spine exposed. From there, the sheath of blue fabric cascaded to the floor in a short yet elaborate sweeping train that was designed to drag several inches on the ground with each step.

  “Ta-da!” Simon yelled. “Surprise!”

  I stared at him, more confused now than I’d been the time he told me I was no longer allowed to wear wedge-heeled sandals because they were ‘cheating’ — apparently, in his world, heels don’t count as heels unless they’re a chore to walk in.

  “Um, Si, are you sure this isn’t for Fae?”

  His face contorted into a look of disgust. “Of course I’m sure. Fae’s an olive-toned brunette — a summer color girl, not a winter. Ice blue would be a disaster on her. You, on the other hand, will look fabulous in this. That creamy skin and blonde hair — my little ice princess.” His eyes gleamed with anticipation.

  “But where would I ever wear this?”

  Now it was his turn to don a look of disbelief. “Um, I don’t know, maybe to the huge, once-in-a-lifetime celebratory ball we’re required to attend next week at our place of employment?”

  Shit. In all the madness of my investigation and Sebastian, I’d completely forgotten about the upcoming Luster party — and the fact that I had yet to purchase a dress.

  “Centennial,” I muttered.

  “There’s the lightbulb!” Simon grinned and pulled me from my perch on the end of his bed. Leading me over to stand before his full-length mirror, he circled around behind me and held the dress to my front.

  “It’s perfect,” he whispered.

  I stared at the dress in the mirror, picturing the frost-blue against my porcelain skin and my hair twisted up in an elegant knot. I’d look like Cinderella — a sluttier version, perhaps, but a princess nonetheless. If not for Simon, I’d have been attending in whatever I could find last minute at Macy’s.

  “I’ll never be able to pay you back. This must’ve cost a fortune,” I murmured, thinking it was worth every penny even as I mentally reconfigured funds in my bank accounts to cover the expense.

  Simon simply chuckled.

  “Where’d you get this?” I asked, breathless as I examined the gown more closely. “It’s amazing.”

  “I made it,” he said, shrugging as though it was no big deal. “Figured I should put all those skills I learned at Parsons to good use. It’s not like I use them at Luster.”

  “Simon!” I exclaimed. “Are you serious? This is an incredible dress! It should be on a model, walking down a runway somewhere.”

>   “I know,” he huffed. “Took me freaking forever to get the draping right. But every incredible girl needs an incredible dress to match.”

  “Thanks, Si.” Our eyes caught in the mirror and I reached up to squeeze his hand.

  “Anytime, baby girl.” He grinned at me. “Plus, a model totally wouldn’t have the boobs to fill out this top, let alone the booty needed to hold up that train.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I’m going to take that as a compliment.”

  “As you should.”

  Careful not to wrinkle the dress, I turned to face him and wrapped my arms around his frame. “Love you.”

  “As you should,” he repeated.

  I laughed into the crook of his neck until he complained that I was messing up his new bow-tie and pushed me away.

  ***

  When I got back to my apartment, still glowing happily from my visit to Simon’s, it was past ten but I knew I’d be up for quite a while. I changed into comfortable clothes, grabbed my laptop from my desk, and climbed into bed. First, I updated my blog. It had been over a week since my last Georgia on My Mind posting, and my followers were likely wondering if I’d fallen into a manhole or been hit by a train. After posting an apology for my absence, responding to a week’s worth of backlogged comments, and composing a brief anecdotal story about my first time in a citywide blackout, I logged off and pulled up a blank word document.

  It was time to catch up on my typical Luster column for Jeanine. I had deadlines rapidly approaching and I’d been procrastinating, as was often the case when I was confronted with writing about a topic I had little interest in. This month, it was juice cleanses. I laughed to myself as I wrote about the latest, greatest cleanse that promised to keep you full for days, drinking only a unique blend of lemon juice, honey, and cayenne pepper. I wasn’t sure what women out there could possibly be satisfied by a diet of pure liquid, but I didn’t ever want to meet them. Personally, I got pretty damn grouchy if I didn’t eat every four hours — after a week, I’d be ready to commit double homicide for a doughnut.

  Thankfully, I’d done all the research for the piece already, so it was written and ready for edits within two hours. I emailed it off to Jeanine for her inevitable critical feedback, pulled up a Google page, and typed “NYC Labyrinth” into the search bar.

  Nothing. Not one credible result popped up.

  There was a company out of Jersey called Labyrinth Fences, but their website boasted a poppy-red logo and pictures of a family-run, small-time business. There was a story about a prostitute who’d legally changed her name to “Labyrinth” after ten years working the streets. There were countless movie credits and photos from the set of Pan’s Labyrinth. But there was absolutely nothing that would help my investigation.

  My eyes grew tired as I scrolled through page after page of Google results. I’d been searching for hours, growing more frustrated with each dead-end I clicked on, and was ready to call it quits for the night when something caught my eye. A single link to a forum of questions about New York City’s best-kept secrets. A conspiracy theorist’s paradise.

  I clicked it and scanned the screen with raised brows.

  There, at the bottom of the page, was a thread of comments from anonymous posters. My eyes devoured their words, and I felt my heartbeat begin to race.

  StarGazer86: Anyone on here ever heard of Labyrinth? On weekends, I bartend at this bar on the Upper East Side. Over the past few years, I’ve heard some patrons whispering the name, but I’ve never been able to figure out what it is.

  PinkySwear91: Supposedly, it’s a club. Caters to the elite, members-only. Lots of rumors about backdoor deals and political alliances being made there, but no one knows for sure. It’s all speculation.

  StarGazer86: So… secret society or urban legend?

  GoodGuy33: Urban legend. It doesn’t exist.

  PinkySwear91: Agreed. Probably a myth made up by someone with an overactive imagination. Tourists love the idea of secret clubs and shit. Makes them excited about the city — excited tourists spend more money. Simple.

  Stargazer86: Damn, too bad. I was hoping it would be something cool.

  MadHatter666: It’s not a legend or a myth — Labyrinth is real enough. It’s on E. 65th between Madison and Park. Though I wouldn’t recommend walking through the front doors. Not unless you’ve got a death wish.

  GoodGuy33: A name like MadHatter really makes you sound legit, bro. Go back to playing World of Warcraft and stop cluttering our threads with bullshit.

  There were no more comments, and the thread had been inactive for more than four years.

  I felt a chill race up my spine. So, it wasn’t the most credible lead. GoodGuy33 was probably right — MadHatter666 was likely insane.

  But what if he wasn’t?

  There was only one person I could think of who made knowing about the city’s most exclusive venues a priority. If there really were a secret society called Labyrinth, she’d have heard of it. I scrolled through my phone to her name and dialed, wincing when I saw it was past midnight. Fae was a big proponent of beauty sleep and, as such, had a strict no-calls-after-ten-unless-you-are-dying-or-pregnant policy on weeknights.

  Oh well. The phone rang in my ear three times before it connected.

  “I know you’re not preggers, so you better be dying,” she muttered into the receiver.

  “Well, I mean, technically we’re all dying. Just at different paces,” I noted. “But am I bleeding out at this exact moment? No.”

  “Hanging up, now.”

  “Wait! I’m sorry to call so late, but it’s important.” She couldn’t have missed the strain in my words. “Please.”

  “Fine, five minutes,” she agreed, sighing. “What is it?”

  “Have you ever heard of Labyrinth?” I asked. “It could be a club or a restaurant, I’m not sure.”

  There was a pause over the line. I pictured her lying in bed, her tired mind reeling through thousands of restaurants, nightclubs, and organizations as she tried to conjure up a memory of the place I’d mentioned.

  “Is it in Upper East? Near Madison and Park?”

  At her words, I felt my throat constrict. I stared at MadHatter’s comment with wide eyes. “Yeah, that’s the one,” I whispered.

  “I don’t know much.” She yawned audibly. “I think it’s members-only. Elite — very exclusive. We’re talking old money. Some of the city’s oldest, wealthiest families are supposedly affiliated. Politicians, professional athletes, mega-wealthy power players. But I don’t know for sure; no one does. They don’t exactly publish members’ names in the Post on Sundays.”

  A sinking feeling turned my stomach when I realized that, if Fae and MadHatter were correct about Labyrinth, it would throw a major wrench in my plans to search the building. I couldn’t simply follow this lead and walk through the front doors. Places like this, with their closely guarded velvet ropes and multitude of bouncers, were harder to get into than the White House.

  “Hypothetically, if someone who wasn’t a member wanted to get in… how would someone do it?”

  Fae was silent for a moment, then sighed deeply. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

  “Humor me,” I appealed.

  “It’s impossible,” she said. “You can’t get in unless you’re either a member yourself or the guest of one.”

  Damn. I thought for a moment before further querying my annoyed friend.

  “Hypothetically, if someone wanted to find out the members’ names… how would someone go about it?”

  “Hypothetically?” Fae’s tone was skeptical but amused. “That someone would have to call her best friend at well past a decent hour, in the middle of the night, and ask said friend to make a call.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Seriously.” She sighed. “I know a guy. He makes it his business to find out this city’s secrets. I’ll call him in the morning, see what he can do. No guarantees, but it’s worth a shot.”

  “I owe you a bottle of w
ine,” I said, feeling my spirits lift. With any luck, Fae’s mystery man — who I totally had to ask about at a later date because, um, how cool was it that she ‘knew a guy’ who dealt in secrets — would come through for us and I’d have another lead to chase down.

  “More than one,” she observed. “And don’t think I don’t know what you’re up to. This is about Vera and that crazy-town collage of theories you’ve plastered all over your apartment wall. We’re overdue for a chat about your conspiracy obsession. No more secrets.”

  “Oh, like you don’t have secrets of your own.” I snorted. The girl was practically a Pandora’s Box of mystery.

  Fae sighed, but didn’t contradict my words. “I’ll call you tomorrow after I hear back about Labyrinth. We can meet after work.”

  “Thanks, Fae.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Call before ten next time,” she grumbled, clicking off.

  Despite her grouchiness I knew no matter what time I called, Fae would always answer. I smiled as I stashed my phone on my bedside table, closed down my laptop, and snuggled deeper beneath my comforter. It had been a pretty awesome day, if you didn’t count my interaction with Sebastian — which I wasn’t. The last thing I saw before my eyes drifted closed was my Cinderella gown hanging on the door of my closet.

  ***

  The bartender slid a glass of Merlot across the mahogany bar top, grabbed the bills I’d placed on its sticky surface, and moved on to take another order. I stared into the deep crimson swirling in my glass, mired in a bad mood I hadn’t been able to shake all day.

  Not since Cara had shown up at the office this afternoon, anyway.

  She’d sauntered in, two lesser-known models following at her heels as any proper minions should, and immediately headed for Sebastian. Sure, I’d been studiously ignoring him all day as I worked on a new piece about how the 1960s fashion evolution echoed female empowerment, but once Cara made a move in his direction, all of my senses shifted into high-alert. I watched her progress with narrowed eyes, listened intently to her girlish greeting, and flinched when I saw her wrap skeleton-thin arms around his torso.