Jonathan closed his eyes. He felt broken, vulnerable, but held on tight to a determination that wouldn’t let him yield.
He knew something had happened and he’d changed. He felt lighter and didn’t want to go back to the way things were.
He would try and put some things right before he met face to face with Margaret’s God, and then and only then would he know he was accepted.
Chapter 22
Entering the café, Mia spotted Klara and weaved her way towards her table. Mia kissed her cheek and took her seat.
“How are you feeling, Mia? Are you okay with today and what we’re going to talk about?”
“Yes. Let me get our drinks. What would you like?”
“I’ve already ordered coffee and a slice of lemon cake,” Klara informed her.
Spotting a waitress Mia waved. She ordered peppermint tea and then turned back to Klara.
Clasping her hands together in her lap, Mia smiled and waited to see what Klara would say.
“You knew your mother and I became friends at school.” Klara waited as their drinks arrived and absently picked up her fork to spear her cake. “Would you like to share this with me?”
“No thanks. Please, you were saying—”
“I wasn’t happy when Margaret started going out with Jonathan because she always wanted to be with him instead of hanging out with me. She would sometimes come to youth group and it was awful. I’m sad to say we didn’t treat her well. We, I mean, some of us snubbed her because she’d chosen to go out with a non-Christian. I was amongst this group. What she really needed was a good friend and I wasn’t there for her.”
Mia’s heart contracted as she pictured her mother being snubbed by her friends.
“Margaret must have been about seventeen when she got pregnant with you, and she felt pressured into getting married. Jonathan wasn’t pleased either but he went along with it. Did you know this, Mia?”
“I suspected it.” Mia looked down and her eyebrows drew slightly together.
“Anyway, when the wedding was planned I wanted her to know I cared and I organized some friends to decorate the church hall for the wedding. I hoped this would show her she had friends.”
Klara became silent and Mia watched a frown form on her brow.
“When you were born your mother and father weren’t living together. She had you and then moved in with her parents.”
“I didn’t know that. I thought they were always together.” Surprise laced her voice.
“Actually, your parents separated about three times in their marriage, but they always got back together. When Margaret and you were staying at your grandparents I called around with a gift for you. That was when I asked Margaret to forgive me for not being there for her. I still remember her saying I’d done nothing wrong.”
“Mum loved you,” Mia said simply.
“Yes she did.” Klara nodded and spooned some cake into her mouth.
Mia wondered about a friendship that spanned so many years. She couldn’t remember a time when the Duncan family hadn’t been part of her life. She remembered birthday parties and outings with herself, Klara and Polly. Her father had only occasionally joined them. These had been special times for Mia.
Bringing herself back to the present Mia realized she’d missed what Klara was saying and tried to catch up with the conversation.
“—so your mother moved back in with Jonathan and his mother. She was determined to make it work.” Klara stopped and took a sip of her coffee. “I often found myself around at their house after school or on a Saturday. It seemed like I was drawn to your – your mother in some way. Jonathan wasn’t always pleased to arrive home from work and find me there but his mother was very nice to me. She actually seemed pleased to see me and I think Margaret and her became good friends over the years.”
“I remember Mum and Grandma used to sit and drink tea together. It was sad when she died. Mum really missed her. We all did.”
“I wanted Margaret to come out with me sometimes in the weekend, just to get her out of the house, but she never would. She would ask Jonathan and he would always tell her to go, but she wouldn’t leave you with him. He would go out with his friends, but they never seemed to socialize as a couple in the early days. Church was her only contact with other people.”
Mia thought of all the times she’d stood and watched her mother praying or reading the Bible.
“Your mother worked so hard to be the perfect wife. She would clean the house until it was spotless. She’d cook the most amazing meals, experimenting with new recipes just to get your father’s attention.” Klara pursed her lips in disapproval.
“Mum was a great cook.” Mia smiled as she thought of the tantalizing smells coming out of her mother’s kitchen.
“I always marveled at how good Jonathan was with you when you were little. You used to be so excited to see him, and he’d pick you up and throw you in the air, making you chuckle over and over again.”
Mia didn’t remember that, and it was hard to believe she’d ever been excited to see her father come home.
“I think Margaret loved to watch the two of you together. She told me once it helped her stay with him. She didn’t want to deprive you of your father.”
Mia looked at her and the expression on her face must have spoken of her puzzlement.
“Your mother felt he was a good father in those early years. He struggled to be a good husband, often coming home late or sometimes not at all and she was lonely.”
Mia frowned at Klara’s tone of voice, it seemed slightly amused.
Mia told herself she must have imagined it.
“Are you saying she would have left him if it hadn’t been for me?”
“I don’t know. She would often talk to me about struggling with the way he spoke to her. After you were born he tried to spend more time at home, but he often worked late. She said once that she felt her life was spent waiting for him to come home.” Klara’s eyes bore into Mia’s as she continued. “You have to remember she was a young woman and hadn’t even lived life yet.”
Mia tried to picture her mother as a young woman in this situation. “She must have relied on you quite a lot for company.”
“We had lots of fun together. We would go out walking and I would talk to her about all the boys I liked and some I dated. It was fun.”
Mia sank into her seat and yearned to hug her mother.
“You must have been about five when we reconnected. Your mother was different somehow, not so relaxed, and I suppose I had changed too. I don’t think she ever complained about her marriage or about Jonathan being out a lot, so maybe things had changed.”
Mia had always wondered why her parents hadn’t had any more children and found herself asking, “Do you know if they ever tried for more children? I never asked Mum about this but often wondered if something stopped them from trying.”
“Your mother did get pregnant again. She was so excited about having another baby. You would have been about three years old, maybe a little younger. She wrote to me and told me the good news and I phoned her.”
“What happened?”
“I didn’t know what happened until last year when your mother told me about it. She was six months pregnant when she fell off a stepladder. She’d been asking Jonathan to change a light bulb for weeks and had got so frustrated with not being able to see in the toilet that she decided to do it herself. She told me she had been home alone as your grandmother had been out for the evening with friends. Margaret said she knew straight away it was bad. By the time she got to the hospital she was having contractions two minutes apart and your brother was delivered three months early. He lived only two days and Margaret blamed herself and I think she thought Jonathan blamed her too. She never spoke of having any more children after that, and whether they tried or not I don’t know.”
Mia’s breath caught. A little brother she never knew about. How had her mother coped with his death? “That’s so sad. Did my parents na
me him, do you know?”
“Jonathan wouldn’t talk about him and I think he blamed Margaret for what happened. Although if he’d changed the light bulb—I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, these things happen and they’re very sad. Your mother named him Caleb and I believe her arms longed to hold her son for a long time.”
Mia looked down at her locked hands and released her fingers. Her mother had been younger than she was now when she’d married her father and given birth to her. How old would she have been when Caleb was born? Would things have been different if he’d lived?
“Klara, I think I might call it a day if that’s okay with you.” Blinking several times, Mia wished her tears away.
Looking up, she gave Klara a watery smile and shrugged. “I wish I could have known my brother.”
“Yes I’m sure you do.” Klara twisted her rings. “Death will reunite you. Margaret is probably enjoying being reunited with Caleb right now.”
Chapter 23
Judy’s eyes darted around the room, making sure for the fifth time that everything was perfect. Her fingers rearranged the freesias, bruising the petals. Where was he? She’d phoned him two hours ago and he said he’d call in later this afternoon.
Judy found herself going to the window time and time again. It wasn’t good enough. Jonathan needed to be here by now, he knew how hard she worked to organize their meetings. What could be keeping him?
Lately she’d noticed little changes in him. Nothing major, just small shifts in the way he treated her and now he was late.
When she heard his car in the drive Judy’s mouth tightened and she felt like screaming. Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm her nerves. Her eyes squinted as she watched him saunter in as if nothing was wrong.
“Where have you been, Jonathan?” she snarled.
“What do you mean where have I been?” Jonathan ignored her and moved into the room. “What’s wrong this time?”
“I expected you at least an hour ago.”
“I told you I’d call in later this afternoon and here I am. Come on, relax, won’t you?” His indifference poured fuel onto her already heated anger. “I expect you to treat me with respect and when you say you’re coming over I expect you to come straight away.” She stood directly in front of him, her face tense and scowling.
“Really!”
“Yes!”
“Well maybe it’s because I don’t respect you, maybe I don’t want to be here with you when you’re in one of your moods!” Jonathan turned and walked towards the door.
Judy flew across the room, her hands scratching at the front of his jacket.
“You are not going anywhere,” she hissed. “I’ve been waiting for you and now that you’re here, you’re staying.”
Jonathan’s eyes looked past her and he flicked her hands off his jacket. “Actually there are a few things I want to talk to you about, but I think I’ll wait until you calm down.”
Judy hadn’t expected his compliance so quickly and puzzled over what he was up to.
Changing tack she smiled and purred, “Darling, I’m sorry. I miss you when you’re away from me and I was getting anxious when you didn’t arrive.”
Jonathan remained silent.
“It would be much easier if we moved in together. I don’t understand why you want to wait.”
Jonathan’s eyebrows lifted and he sat down.
“You know I love you and we’ve been together so long. Don’t you miss me, Jonathan? Don’t you get lonely for me at night, darling?”
She moved across the room to his chair and sat on his lap, leaning in to kiss him. Jonathan lunged to his feet, catapulting her to the floor.
He stood above her and sneered. “No I don’t miss you and there is no way I’m moving in with you. Look at you, what do you have to offer me?”
Pulling herself up she glared at him. “I can’t believe you’re saying that! We’re good together and you know it. You know Margaret and her peachy ways weren’t enough for you! You needed a real woman to satisfy you and that’s why you kept coming to me. You’re mine and you know it!”
“You’re right, it’s all been about sex! That doesn’t mean I love you. I’ve never loved you! Not like I loved Margaret and still love her. Do you hear me?” he shouted. “I still love her.”
Screaming, she lunged at him and he stumbled back. She flung her arm out and slapped him across the face.
Pulling her close, he forcibly held her still while he slowly and clearly enunciated, “We are over. I don’t want to see you again!”
“No, you can’t mean that. Darling, I’m sorry. I love you, please, I can’t live without you.” Her voice was full of tension.
Jonathan let go of her and brushed his hands down the side of his jeans as if to get rid of the feel of her.
“You don’t care about me, come on, tell the truth. You just like being in control. Well no longer! I don’t want you. It was always about sex for me and if you’re honest with yourself it was the same for you.” Turning, he headed for the door.
“If you walk out that door, you’ll be sorry!” she threatened.
“Nothing you could do would hurt me, and do you know why? Because I have nothing! Absolutely nothing.”
Judy screamed and picked up the vase of freesias flinging them across the room at the door Jonathan had just walked out of.
She watched, mesmerized, as the vase exploded violently. Glass, water and flowers fell, destroyed, ruined, rejected. Shattered like her dreams.
“He’ll pay for leaving me. He can’t treat me like that after all I’ve done for him.”
Moving across the room Judy stood and looked down at the carnage on the floor.
“How dare he tell me he still loves that woman? She was nothing but a stupid mouse, always waiting around for my dregs.”
Dropping to her knees she picked up some glass. One sliver cut her palm and she stopped what she was doing. She looked at the blood as it oozed out of the cut and dripped onto the carpet. She didn’t feel the pain and rubbed her finger into the cut to make it bleed more.
“It must be Mia. I’ll have to remove her like I removed Margaret.” Judy picked up another piece of glass and began cutting deeper into her hand.
Chapter 24
The harsh banging echoed through the house, waking David. He sprang out of bed, his heart hammering.
Bruno was making enough racket to wake the neighbors and was scratching at the door to get out. For a moment David appreciated the quiet he’d had when Bruno was staying with Mia.
Approaching the door David commanded Bruno to sit down and pointed his finger at him, “Don’t you move, be quiet!”
Bruno whimpered and dropped his large head between his paws.
As David opened the door, hands of steel reached in and grabbed him. A man pushed him backwards until he tripped and fell clumsily to the ground.
The intruder straddled him and captured both his arms above his head.
David glared up at the man.
Bruno was bouncing around them, barking excitedly.
“Get off me!” David demanded.
The man threw his head back and laughed. His hair was badly in need of a cut and he hadn’t shaved in a while.
Leaning forward until their faces were inches apart he said in a mocking voice, “Still can take you, come on, give your little brother a kiss hello.”
Leaning forward, he kissed David on the cheek and jumped up.
David hoisted himself up, laughing. Grabbing Patrick’s shoulders he hugged him. “Hey, Patrick, where did you come from?”
“Thought I’d come and check out this woman who seems to have taken possession of my brother’s heart. Good excuse to see how you are.”
“You don’t need an excuse, Pat, it’s great to see you. I should have known it was you by the way Bruno was acting. Must be getting a bit slow in my old age. How was India?”
“Good, got what I needed. Thought I’d take a break and have
a holiday at my brother’s beach resort.”
David rubbed his wrists and smiled. “That’s great, you can stay as long as you want. It’s been a while.”
“You start breakfast while I get my bag out of the car.” Patrick’s grin made David laugh. Some things never changed.
Bruno followed Patrick out and David watched as the two became reacquainted. David rubbed his face and yawned. He’d missed Patrick.
Going to the kitchen he took some bacon out of the freezer and began to cook, humming to himself.
Patrick entered; sniffing appreciatively and leaned against the bench, his eyes scanning the room. “Nice place.”
“Thanks. You take the plates and I’ll bring the coffee.” David picked up his mug and slouched back into his chair. Surveying his brother’s appearance he lifted his hand in a salute. “What are you working on at the moment?”
“Have you heard of The Bourne Identity?” Patrick grinned.
“Yes, who hasn’t? Enjoyed the book and the movie was great.”
“Well it’s not like that.” Laughing, Patrick outlined the story line of the book he was working on. “It’s based in India around a business deal turned nasty. The main character sets out to take vengeance, but ends up on a journey that leads him to uncover a plot to destroy the government.”
“How far are you into it?” David questioned.
“I’ve got all I need to put it together, so now it’s just a matter of plugging away at it.”
“Why don’t you stay here and do it? You could set up an office in one of the rooms overlooking the ocean. What do you say?”
“Thought you’d never ask, free bed and board, meals cooked, washing done. It’s a deal!”
“Hey, don’t push it, we take turns or the deals off!”
“Okay, okay. But you know you’re the better cook. I always loved the way you cooked steak.”
David marveled on how much he enjoyed his brother’s company. The time spent apart disappeared as they talked.
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