“So, you meet Jesus yet, Pat?”
“Don’t start on that, Davo, we’ve been there before and I would have thought you’d have learnt not to nag me about God stuff anymore!”
“Don’t count on me letting up on this, it’s too important. Just give me a call when it happens, okay? I’m expecting it someday soon.”
Shaking his head in exasperation Patrick changed the subject. “Okay tell me about her.”
“What do you mean, tell you about her?”
“Come on, Dave. I know you. Reveal all.”
David knew he could trust Patrick and decided to share some of what was on his mind and see what Patrick thought.
“Mia’s different, she’s beautiful. Something about her got to me from the first moment I saw her. She has a mixture of strength and vulnerability. I have this need that rises up in me to protect her.”
“Have you told her you want to get to know her better, maybe move in together and see how it goes?” Patrick’s innocent expression didn’t fool David and he knew his brother was baiting him.
“You know it doesn’t work that way for me. Might be like that for you loose guys, but not me. I want more.”
“What do you mean loose?” Patrick’s eyes smoldered and his shoulders squared.
“Hits the mark, does it? How many women have you been out with in the last year? How many hearts have you played with and tossed away?”
“It works both ways, brother, I’ve been tossed away a few times too you know. Don’t understand why though, just look at this face—its God’s gift to woman, don’t you think?”
“God certainly got it right when he put you together, except I think maybe he made the head a bit too big.” Laughing, David sat back and realized he hadn’t laughed for some time. Things around here had been too serious.
“Have you asked her out?” Patrick raised an eyebrow in question.
“Sort of. We’ve been for walks and coffees. But she sends out this message that says, “stand back”. She’s working through some stuff with her father at the moment and her mother recently died.”
“Look, surely she needs you to be the man in the relationship. If it was me and I felt this serious about someone, I wouldn’t take no for an answer. At least you can let her know how you feel.”
“It’s not that simple. I feel if I rush her or pressure her she may get scared and disappear from my life.”
“Why would she get scared? Come on, what aren’t you telling me?”
David didn’t want to share Mia’s story with Patrick, yet he wanted his brother to understand why he was treading slowly.
“She’s been seriously hurt in the past and that makes her cautious, sort of wary if you like. I want her to know she can trust me and that I wouldn’t do anything to hurt her.”
“So you’re happy to be her friend forever. Gosh you’re such a swell guy, can you be my friend too?”
Irritated, David glared at Patrick, then rose and walked over to gaze out the window.
Patrick watched him and smiled. With laughter in his voice he said, “What you need is a strategy and lucky for you the master of strategy is here to help you.”
“Oh no you don’t, you stay out of it!” David had seen some of Patrick’s so-called strategies in the past and dreaded to think what he would come up with.
“Well the least you could do is invite her here for dinner to meet your brother, or we could go out. What harm could that do?”
“Patrick, I don’t want you saying anything to her. If I don’t get your promise there is no way I am going to introduce you to her. Do you hear me? I want your word!”
“What do you take me for? Do you think I don’t know you’re serious about Mia? I wouldn’t do anything to damage your chance with her. I just want to check her out. After all, I care about you and want to know you haven’t come down with some terrible disease.”
David opened his mouth to comment when Patrick butted in. “Okay, I promise I won’t say anything that will sabotage your plan to wait twenty years for her.”
“Good. I’ll ask her if she wants to meet you and see what she says.”
“I still think you need to step it up a level mate, tell her how you feel and then see what happens.”
“I don’t know. I’ll think about it.”
“You go phone her about dinner while I check out the house. Any bedroom, you say, even yours?”
“You could try!” David watched Patrick go and got up to make the call. He hadn’t spoken to Mia since her suicide attempt.
Lord, some of what Patrick says makes sense. How can Mia know I really care unless I’m in her life? If I stand back, doesn’t that say I’m not interested?
Picking up the phone he dialed the number and trusted God for the wisdom to know what to say.
“Hi, Mia.” David felt himself relax and he smiled into the phone.
“Hello, David, how are you?” Mia replied.
“I’m missing you.”
“Missing me?”
“Yes, I’ve phoned Robert twice to see how you are, but he thought it best to give you some space.”
“I see.”
“Are you okay?” David asked.
“Yes. I understand why you wouldn’t want to see me. I did a crazy thing.” David heard the catch in her voice and wished he could see her.
“Sweetheart, it scares me that you thought suicide was a way out of your pain. I couldn’t bear to lose you.”
“I didn’t think dying was an answer, I didn’t think at all. I didn’t plan it.”
“I’d like to see you. I want to help.” Was she crying?
“I need to go, David.”
“No wait, please, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Goodbye, David.”
David was stunned. She’d hung up on him.
When Patrick came back in the room David stared at him in puzzlement. “That didn’t go so well.”
“What do you mean; doesn’t she want to meet me?”
“I didn’t tell her about you being here. I sort of upset her and she hung up on me.”
“Call her back. Whatever you said, you need to sort it out before she builds it up in her head to be bigger than it is.”
David frowned and rubbed his hand through his hair.
Nodding, he picked up the phone and dialed Mia’s number again.
Lord, let her pick up, help me get through to her.
~~~
Mia felt the phone vibrate in her hand and wiped her face. She shook inside. What could she say to him? Her face burned with humiliation and for some reason she felt ready to explode.
Answering, she said, “David, maybe we could talk later. I don’t feel up to it right now. I’m sorry, please understand—”
David interrupted. “Mia, the reason I phoned before is to tell you my brother Patrick has turned up out of the blue and is staying with me. I want you to meet him.”
Her breath caught and an emotion she hadn’t experience before tugged at her heart. He was too good for her. He deserved a good girl from church who was pure and had her life together. Why had she let him get so close, so quickly?
“Why do you want me to meet him?”
“You’re important to me. How about we all go out to dinner? If you’d prefer we could have dinner here.”
‘Umm?” Had she lost control of her brain? She must sound like a schoolgirl. Her hand spanned her neck and her fingers felt the heat surfacing on her skin.
“Mia, I’ll make the decision for you and pick you up tonight at 6.30 p.m. We’ll go down to The Entrance, so dress casual.”
Mia’s eyes narrowed and she could hear the ice in her voice. “Stop, David. As much as I’d like to meet your brother I’d rather not go out for dinner. I’ll call in sometime next week to say hello.” She needed to put some space between them, give him time to move on, time to realize she was tainted goods.
“Its only dinner, Mia. What are you afraid of?” She could hear the challenge in his voice and
stiffened her back.
“Just because I prefer not to go out to dinner with you does not mean I’m afraid. I think you’re expecting too much from me.” Her heart ached as she tried to portray indifference.
“I think you’re scared because you’re starting to care about me. You can’t keep running. It’s too late to block me out now.”
“I don’t need you analyzing me.” Gnawing her lower lip in frustration, Mia seethed. “I think you want someone to rescue, a maiden in distress—and that’s not me.” Mia grimaced as she waited for him to throw her late night swim in her face.
The silence stretched, pulling on her nerves.
“There is nothing wrong with my wanting to protect you. God places people in our lives to support us when we go through tough times. I won’t stop caring just because you tell me to.”
She could hear the edge in his voice. Mia thought of all the things that had been done to her by her father and hardened her heart. If David couldn’t protect himself from her then she would.
“Mia, I—” David began.
“I don’t want to discuss this anymore. I’m turning my phone off. Good night, David.”
Ending the call, Mia stared bleakly into space and a soft moan escaped her lips as she buried her face in her hands.
~~~
Uncle Robert’s house had become a sanctuary to her. Mia felt troubled and nervous. Her eyes stung and she jerked when Robert’s hand touched her shoulder.
“Hey, Princess, what are you doing out here in the dark?”
Mia blinked at the tenderness in his voice and couldn’t speak.
“Come inside or you’ll be bitten alive.”
Mia rubbed restlessly at her arms and heard the hum of mosquitoes.
They moved into the lounge and Robert smiled and sat down across from her. “What’s bothering you?”
“I can’t see David again. You have to help me avoid him,” she blurted out.
“What’s this about? What’s he done to hurt you?” Robert leaned forward and tension laced his voice.
“He—he cares for me.” Mia bit her lip and avoided his eyes.
“And?” Robert lifted one eyebrow.
Slapping her hands on her knees Mia sprang to her feet. “No and—it needs to stop now.”
“What are you afraid of?” His words echoed David’s and Mia’s mouth dropped open.
“I am not afraid! I’m the only one around here who’s sane. David needs to open his eyes and take a good look at me. I’m not who he thinks I am.” She clenched her fists and her nails dug into her palms.
“I’m more concerned with who you think you are. Talk to me.”
Shaking her head violently, Mia spun around to hide the tears that shimmered in her eyes. She bunched up her skirt and her fingers played nervously with the material.
“I know who I am and I want you to respect my decision not to see him.” Concentrating on her hands Mia missed Robert rolling his eyes in exasperation.
“David’s my friend too, and I will not stop seeing him just because you’re running scared. Think I’ll call it a night and leave you to your little pity party.”
Stamping her foot in frustration, Mia crossed her arms to shield herself from his words.
Collapsing into a chair, she watched him leave the room. She exhaled with frustration.
Lord, it isn’t that I don’t trust David, it just seems easier to keep a distance. Safer.
Mia shuddered. What would her life look like if she kept avoiding people, kept putting walls up – shunning relationships?
Her head ached and she rubbed at the burning in her eyes. What was she afraid of?
Her father had taught her that what she wanted didn’t matter, that she was a chattel to be used.
Having feelings wasn’t fun and she didn’t need all this emotion. Her chest ached and she fumed at the way she felt. What was it about her that made her father do such things?
Would David be disgusted and reject her too?
Mia rested her head in her hands and deep sobs raked her body. Shame filled her and she sank further into the chair.
Robert stood watching. He hesitated a moment before he quietly moved to squat before her. “Mia, what can I do?” he asked gently.
Her eyes lifted and met his. “I—I will never be good enough, clean enough for someone to love me. Don’t you see, Uncle Robert, David deserves so much more.” With unsteady hands she pushed her hair behind her ears.
“Have you forgotten the truth already, Mia? Not one of us is good enough. Honey, you’re washed clean as snow; you’re a new creation in Christ Jesus.”
“I know what it says, but I don’t feel it here.” Mia pounded her chest. “I can't get it out of my head how Dad rejected me as his daughter. I want to love, I do. But when I think of taking the risk I freeze.” Mia grabbed his hands and gripped him, desperation flaming out of her eyes.
“Mia, I don’t know what to say. Your father is a sinner, a lost man, and he did bad things. But sweetheart, it wasn’t you. You didn’t cause him to do it.”
Mia hung her head and tried to stop the flow of tears. “I feel so ashamed,” she whispered in a barely audible voice.
Robert frowned, lost for words. He touched her face and lifted her chin. “Honey, you have nothing to be ashamed of.”
Pulling away, Mia pushed at him and scampered out of the chair. “There were times when—” Sobbing uncontrollably Mia cried out. “There were times when I liked what Dad did.”
She pulled at her hair and screamed. Her shoulders shook and her heart burned with disgust. Dizziness assaulted her. She heaved and grabbing her stomach she bent over as a bitter taste filled her mouth.
Robert grabbed and held her.
She struggled but he wouldn’t let her go. He gently rubbed her back, murmuring sssh, sssh, there, there.
Mia buried her head in his shoulder and the ache in her chest lessened.
Robert stepped back and his eyes welled up. “Mia, I am not disgusted by you. You couldn’t help it. God created our bodies to respond to touch. He understands, honey.”
Mia was stunned. Was that true? Had God created her body to respond to touch in such a way, even when abused?
Baffled by the complexity of it she gasped. “God isn’t condemning me, is he?”
“No, honey, God loves you. I love you.” Mia nodded. Her world still felt upside down but hope had resurfaced.
Chapter 25
The yellow jeep wrangler pulled in next to Robert’s car. Mia glanced towards it and admired the open-air convertible.
The driver smiled, got out and walked towards them.
Robert extended his hand. “Hello, young lady, I see by the mud splatters that you like going off road.” He grinned and continued. “I’m Robert Hanly, and this is my niece, Mia Dawson. Haven’t seen you at church before.”
“Hello, Robert, Mia. I’m Therese Mitchell, but please call me Terri. This is my first time here.”
“Come in with us and we’ll show you around.” Robert waved his arm indicating they would lead the way.
“Thank you.” Terri’s gaze took in her surroundings and she asked questions as they walked.
“Are you planning on staying in Blue Bay long?” Mia enquired.
“I’m not sure yet. Depends on whether I can find work and a place to stay. I’d like to settle down for a while. I’ve been travelling for two months now.”
The hum of people talking before the service was welcoming and Mia swiveled in her seat to continue their conversation. “Where are you staying at the moment?”
“I spent last night at Edith Spencer’s. Do you know her?” Terri’s eyes smiled at Mia.
“Yes. I haven’t heard Mrs. Spencer mention you before.”
“My mother knows her and I thought I’d look her up since I was in the Central Coast.”
“What sort of work are you looking for?” Mia asked.
“Anything that brings in a dollar. Waitressing, office work.”
&nbs
p; The church service started and their conversation came to an end. Mia tilted her head slightly to look for David. She spotted him across the aisle and found it hard to look away. She felt like a little girl caught stealing cookies as his eyes opened and locked with hers.
He nodded slightly.
Mia jerked her head away and looked to the front of the church.
Terri leaned over and whispered. “Who’s the good looking guy you were eyeballing?”
Mia’s gaze moved from Terri to David. “Ssh, later.”
Bending her head, Mia pretended to search in her bag for a tissue. Her heart fluttered in her chest at the thought of Terri liking David and her stomach rolled. It was one thing to think that she wasn’t for him, but another thing to visualize him with someone else.
Straight after the service David walked over to join them. His eyes briefly met Mia’s before moving to Terri. “Hello, Mia, who’s your friend?”
“Terri, this is David O’Malley.” Mia’s eyes widened as he held out his hand and took Terri’s small hand into his. She was sure he held it too long.
Clearing her throat, Mia said, “Terri, I’d like you to stay with me. I’m rattling around in a huge house and you’d be doing me a favor.”
David’s gaze moved to Mia and his eyes narrowed in warning. His hand laced her elbow and he pulled her towards him.
“Excuse us a minute, Terri.” He walked outside and Mia had no choice but to go with him.
“What do you think you’re doing, David? Let go of me.” Mia pulled her arm free and stepped back.
“How long have you known Terri?” he demanded.
“I’ve just meet her, but I don’t see—”
“Are you crazy? You don’t ask people you’ve just met to move in with you.”
“It’s none of your business what I do. And she knows Mrs. Spencer so you’re worrying over nothing.”
David’s eyes narrowed. “She seems like a nice girl, but what harm is it to check her out before you commit to something you may regret?”
“Fine. I’ll check with Mrs. Spencer.” Mia spun around to go back inside when David stepped in front of her blocking her path.
“Why are you doing this?” His eyes searched her face for a sign of softening.
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