To Win his Wayward Wife AZ w cover

by Rose Gordon

  “Robbie?” she asked with a shudder.

  He shook his head.

  She looked at him in confusion. Her eyes scanned his face. “I don’t know,” she said quietly.

  “Leo.”

  Her eyes widened.

  He nodded. “After the incident at my house in Yorkshire, the old duke suggested I go on Tour to America. Said there were some relations in Brooklyn. Seemed like a good idea to me so I went.”

  Her eyes locked with his as she listened to his words and her body sagged against the edge of the desk.

  “Madison,” he said hoarsely. “You know why I haven’t been with a woman in six years?”

  “That’s not true,” she interrupted sharply. “You told Andrew you’d give his estate to your mistress if he didn’t agree to ruin Brooke.”

  “You’re right, I did,” he conceded flatly. “Have you ever heard of bluffing, Madison? I had to say something to get his dander up. The man was being positively stubborn about agreeing.”

  “I don’t believe you,” she said coldly.

  “Believe what you want,” he said with a tight one-shoulder shrug. “But I haven’t been with a woman in six years because I lost my heart to you the minute you walked in front of me in that ballroom. Ever since that night, I haven’t even had interest in another woman.” He gave a harsh laugh. “I even told my gutter-minded cousin I’d become a monk if it meant I could have you. As it turns out, I became a monk anyway and I’ll still never have you.” He let out a ragged, tortured breath.

  “You did have me,” she pointed out.

  “No, I didn’t. Not really,” he said in a hollow voice. “You only shared my bed because you wanted more privacy to use Lottie to slip a note out to Andrew.”

  “Benjamin,” she whispered, “I didn—”

  “Anyway,” he said sharply, cutting her off. “After Robbie took you dancing, I pleaded my case to Brooke. I tried to convince her I was a better choice and she seemed to be agreeable.” He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. “I tried to talk to you every chance I got, but my dunce of a cousin kept interrupting. When we went off to hide the night of the dinner party, I tried to talk to you. I wanted to tell you how I felt. But when I found you, you were embracing Robbie and declaring yourself to him. After you kissed him I knew it was over. I knew I didn’t stand a chance. You’d made your choice and it wasn’t me.”

  “Yes, it was,” she whispered brokenly.

  He shook his head, dismissing her weak statement. “It doesn’t really matter anymore. When I saw you last spring I thought I had another chance. I gained an introduction to you at the second ball I saw you at. But you didn’t seem interested in even talking to me. I thought I’d just bide my time and wait for you to be ready. But that never happened.”

  She tensed. “Please do not make some rude comment about my tendency to daydream.”

  “I’m not,” he said coldly. “I thought you were upset things didn’t work out with Robbie and decided to give you space.”

  “Oh.”

  “After a month I saw you were still sad, and I realized you’d only be happy if you were back with Robbie. That’s why I orchestrated Brooke’s ruination. I picked Andrew because he was easy to cast in the role since he owed me something and as a boon Lizzie would benefit from it.” He pursed his lips and scuffed his boot against the other. “Actually, that’s not entirely true. At first I tried to do it. I didn’t want anyone else to know what I was up to and I tried to shame her,” he said, twisting his lips into a bitter sneer. “But it just wasn’t meant to be. My heart really wasn’t in it and I couldn’t feign interest well enough and she rejected me. That’s why I sought out Andrew. I thought he’d have better luck since his heart wasn’t otherwise engaged, specifically to her sister.”

  “Excuse me,” Madison interrupted hotly. “I was under the impression Andrew was not specifically asked to ruin Brooke. I was told he was just supposed to bring some sort of scandal to one of us. Why did both of you choose to target her?”

  Benjamin snorted. “Are you serious? Ruination was the only type of scandal that would accomplish the goal. As for choosing Brooke.” He shrugged. “There weren’t any other options. First, you were not an option since you wouldn’t so much as look at a man. Second, only an idiot would have chosen to pursue Liberty with such intentions. She’d throw a fit if a man even suggested they go to the veranda. She’d probably unman anyone who was bold enough to touch her.”

  “You’re right,” she conceded.

  He shrugged and scratched his head. “My thinking was that if you were back in New York at least you’d be happy. Of course I’d be miserable knowing I’d lost you forever. But I loved you enough that I was willing to suffer knowing you were happy.”

  She shook her head. “That wasn’t…” she trailed off and dropped her gaze to the carpet.

  “I know,” he said bitterly, causing her eyes to snap to his.

  “You do?”

  He nodded. “I got letters. Robbie sent me letters a few weeks later detailing your courtship with him, his recent marriage to another and how he wanted you back only to be his mistress.” He contorted his face in disgust and flexed his fingers. “That’s when I realized you weren’t unhappy because you were brought to England, but you were brought to England because you were unhappy.”

  “Oh,” she said quietly, searching the patterns in his royal blue carpet with her downcast eyes.

  He sighed. “I’d hoped this Season to court you. Except an opportunity never presented itself. Then when one did, I jumped on it; even though it meant skipping the courtship stage altogether and marrying you. In fact, I liked that even better,” he said with a sad smile. “There has never been a man who looked forward to his wedding day as much as I did.” He swallowed and pursed his lips again. “And then I bungled it. I let my emotions get the best of me and I ruined everything.”

  “That’s not true,” she protested calmly.

  He let out a harsh bark of laughter. “Yes, it is,” he said in an emotionally raw voice. “I tried my damnedest to woo you and win your affections.” He closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. “But no, now it’s happened again. I’m too late again. You have Andrew on such a high bloody pedestal I could never compete. But you know what?” he asked, his voice turning cold. “I can’t do it again. I can’t wait for you to fall out of love again to try and win you once more. I love you more than any man has ever loved his wife, but my heart cannot take anymore. Now that Robbie’s gone, you’re free to go.”

  “But I don’t want to go,” she said quietly.

  “Then stay. I don’t care. I just don’t care anymore,” he said brokenly, walking to the door. He walked out of their room and to his study where he sank into a chair, feeling deflated. Defeated.

  Chapter 30

  Madison sat numbly on the settee and stared at the steaming tub that had just been brought in for her. In less than ten minutes the entire relationship she’d built with Benjamin had fallen apart.

  She closed her eyes and relived their conversation once again. She should never have written the letter in the first place. She was definitely wrong on that score. But he’d never even given her a chance to explain herself. Instead, he’d jumped to the bizarre conclusion that she was in love with her brother-in-law. She shook her head. Perhaps when he calmed down she could try to smooth it out.

  As for him being Leo. Well, that fact was far more obvious than she’d like to admit. She’d felt a familiarity with him on more than one occasion: in the dark hallway when he'd spoken to her, at the coast when he looked unkempt and rugged, and as recently as earlier that morning. It also made sense why he teased her about wanting to meet Leo or refused to ensure their paths wouldn’t cross. Even wanting to keep those drawings of them made sense now. If she’d been slightly more open-minded she would have put the clues together much sooner. She groaned. He’d even encouraged her to talk about things that weren’t appropriate. Just like Leo.

  She shook her he
ad. She was such a nodcock.

  Not that it really mattered anyway. If she were being honest, she’d admit that her unruly heart had even started feeling for Benjamin feelings she’d only ever had for Leo.

  She stood up and redressed. She needed to talk to him. She needed to explain that the letter had just been penned as a way to deal with her anger and she’d never planned to send it. He might not believe her. But she at least deserved the chance to plead her case.

  Downstairs, she learned his study was locked and she knocked discreetly at the door. He didn’t answer and she knocked again. And again. And again. After more than ten minutes, she decided to approach him at dinner instead.

  Dinner, however, didn’t turn out to be any better. She sat alone in the drawing room for thirty minutes before the butler informed her dinner was ready. Heart racing in anticipation, she hurried down to the dining room and frowned when she realized it was empty.

  She ate dinner slower than a turtle, hoping he’d get hungry and come to dine at some point. No such luck.

  Later that night, she waited for him to come join her in the room they’d been sharing. She knew it was actually the duke’s room they’d been using and felt confident he’d come there to sleep.

  But he never came.

  About midnight, she swallowed her irritation for his direct avoidance of her and went to the connecting door. With a nervous gulp, she opened the door. Her eyes scanned the moonlit room and must have been playing tricks on her. To confirm her suspicion of suddenly poor eyesight, Madison crossed the threshold and walked to the bed.

  Running her hand along the smooth counterpane, a wave of disappointment washed over her. She turned and walked to the chair in the corner and saw he wasn’t there, either. She opened the door to the duchess’ sitting room and blinked in surprise to see the room was absolutely empty. There wasn’t a single piece of furniture in the room. There wasn’t even a wall sconce. She shut the door and went back to her bed.

  The man was still at the residence, she reminded herself. He couldn’t escape her. She’d just wait to see him at breakfast.

  Rising as soon as the first sunray came through the curtains, Madison ran downstairs to request Cook make waffles for Benjamin. Perhaps that could be a peace offering, she thought with a cheeky smile as she left the kitchen. By hook or by crook she was going to see him this morning.

  And like magic, it worked.

  She saw him all right.

  She was eating her waffles in the breakfast room and heard heavy footfalls in the hallway. Plastering a sunny smile on her face, she waited for Benjamin to come into the room.

  “Madam, your tricks will not work,” he said sharply, coming into the room. “I’ve a set menu at this house and you’re not to tell Cook to deviate from it. Understood?”

  Her smiled dimmed a notch. “Excuse me?” she said archly. “I was under the impression that as duchess and the mistress of this house I would be in charge of the menu.”

  He speared her with his stare. “That is normally the case, yes,” he conceded coldly. “But not with you. You don’t wish to be the mistress of this house. Therefore, your decisions are void, I’m afraid.”

  She crossed her arms. “You’re being unfair. The truth is you don’t wish me to be mistress of this house any longer for reasons, that to be quite honest, I don’t even understand.”

  “Yes, you do,” he snapped. “You know as well as I do that you’d prefer to be mistress of Rockhurst, not Glenbrook. Unfortunately for you, that’s not possible.”

  “Stop it, Benjamin,” she snapped. “You’re just being mean. You didn’t even hear me out.”

  “I didn’t need to,” he countered. “I know enough. Nothing you can say now will change what you’ve done.”

  “I haven’t done anything,” she retorted, her eyes full of defiance.

  “You didn’t have to do it,” he shot back. “You intended to. That was enough.”

  She stared unblinkingly at his retreating form. Perhaps he needed a few more days to come to his senses.

  A few days passed and her luck hadn’t changed. She’d not gone out of her way to grab his attention again, but she didn’t have to. She’d occasionally run into him in the hall and he’d give a terse nod of greeting in her direction. Or she’d walk into a room he was occupying only for him to immediately excuse himself. It was infuriating and heartbreaking at the same time.

  Finally after nearly a week, she got a glimpse of him in front of the house talking to his coachman.

  Interested in what was going on, she casually walked outside to hear the orders he was giving to Michaels, his new coachman.

  In less than three seconds she surmised they were going to London.

  She ran inside and asked Lottie if she was ready to go. Lottie acted confused and Madison ran back outside to check herself to see if her trunks were loaded.

  “What do you think you’re doing, madam?” a cold baritone voice asked behind her, making her skin prickle with awareness.

  “Benjamin,” she said, flashing him a smile. “It’s nice to see you this morning.”

  “What are you doing?” he asked with a pointed glance at where she’d been climbing up the back of the carriage.

  She smiled weakly at him. “I was just checking to see that my things are loaded.”

  “They’re not,” he said flatly.

  “All right, I’m sure Massey will be right down with them. I’ll wait in the carriage.”

  “No,” he said, shaking his head.

  “All right, I’ll wait out here with you. I’d like that better anyway,” she said with a grin.

  He ran a hand through his hair. “You’re not coming,” he said in a tone she didn’t recognize.

  “Why ever not?”

  “Because you’re not invited,” he said flatly, looking past her shoulder.

  “Who would invite the duke and not his duchess to be guests at his house?” she asked with a sniff.

  “Me,” he said tightly.

  “What?” she asked, bewildered. “Where are you going?”

  “To London.”

  “I know that already,” she said tightly. “Where in London?”

  “To my townhouse.”

  “Why?” Was he so upset with her he didn’t even want to be in the same house?

  “Parliament has called for an emergency session and I must attend,” he explained.

  She nodded. “How long are you to be gone?”

  “I don’t know,” he said with a shrug.

  “Why can’t I come?” she questioned, her jaw stiffening. Why did he insist on being so difficult?

  “Because you weren’t invited,” he said simply.

  She ground her teeth. “I may not be a member of parliament, but that does not mean I cannot go to London and stay with you.”

  He closed his eyes for a moment. “Why don’t you want to stay here?”

  “Because you’ll be gone,” she said automatically.

  He snorted. “That’s an interesting reason. Or perhaps, the real reason is that Andrew will also be in London.”

  She let out a huff of indignation. “Stop it. I don’t like your accusations. I’m coming with you to London.”

  “And just how do you figure that?” he asked, crossing his arms and leaning forward.

  “Either you’ll take me in your carriage or I’ll ride one of your horses,” she said defiantly.

  His mouth clamped into a tight line. “Fine. Get in the carriage,” he barked, then started barking orders to have her trunk packed.

  It was well into the night before the carriage came to a stop and a pair of sturdy arms carried her up a flight of stairs and set her in the softest bed she’d ever felt.

  The next two days she wandered aimlessly around their London townhouse trying to do anything to occupy her time. Whenever she couldn’t find any amusement, she’d go visit one of the friends who were still in town and even helped Mrs. Ingram’s sewing circle for an afternoon. However, she was stil
l no closer to breaking down Benjamin’s defenses.

  It wasn’t until the evening of their third day in London that the dreaded note from Brooke requesting she call upon her first thing in the morning arrived. Madison sighed. When Brooke said first thing in the morning, she meant first thing in the morning.

  Chapter 31

  “All right, Madison,” Brooke said, breaking into her thoughts as she walked into the room. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” Madison said dismissively.

  Brooke shook her head and sat down next to her sister on the settee. She was holding a wiggling Nathan in her arms, trying to get him to sleep. “You can lie to anyone, but you cannot lie to me. I know you better than anyone. And I know you’re upset. Spill it.”

  Madison swallowed. If it was about anything other than an accusation of her having romantic feelings for her sister’s husband, she would have told her. But there was no way she wanted to risk their relationship. “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

  “No,” Brooke said defiantly. “You can. You’re just choosing not to. Do you remember the night before I was to leave for America?”

  “Of course,” Madison burst out. She may have been a bit of a scatterbrain at the time, but she wasn’t a complete dolt.

  “Good,” Brooke said firmly. “Then you remember charging into my room and demanding to know what happened. And I told you. I told you every single detail, save the bedroom intimacies.” Her face flushed and for a split-second she broke eye contact. “Then you sat there for fifteen minutes trying to convince me to go to him and claimed every excuse I gave you was feeble. Then, when you thought all hope was lost, you dressed as a prostitute and went to see Andrew. Does any of that sound familiar?”

  “Stop it, Brooke,” Madison said sharply.

  Brooke sighed and repositioned Nathan in her arms. “I just want to help. You saved my marriage, Madison. I will forever be grateful for what you did. I just want to help you the way you helped me. Please.”