A Family Man

by Mindy Neff

  Her world became narrowed at that moment, just the two of them. Alone. No obligations, no responsibilities, no outside forces to intrude. She felt his breath against her cheek, saw his pupils dilate, saw his desire and his intent. A man setting his sights on a woman. On her. Her breasts tightened and her heart pounded.

  She nearly demanded that he stop the torture, that he kiss her. His thumb swept a path of fire over her lower lip.

  “You’re not going to change your mind, are you?”

  The sound of his voice broke the spell. J.T., she reminded herself. He was asking about J.T.

  Josie drew in a swift breath and backed up. What in the world had she been thinking? Her son was in the house, just down the hall, yet she’d forgotten all about him. Chase did that to her. Made her lose all sense of time and place, made her forget just what was at stake between them.

  Her stomach was on fire, her legs weak and trembling. It didn’t matter what she wanted. Wanting something and allowing herself to have it were two different things.

  “No, I’m not going to change my mind,” she said at last. She rubbed her damp palms on the seat of her shorts, then wondered if she’d made more handprints for him to comment on. “I guess you could start by showing J.T. his new furniture. He’s being awfully quiet, though. I wonder if he’s fallen asleep.”

  Josie went down the hall and called for J.T. Chase was right behind her. She checked the living room and kitchen, then stopped and frowned. “This isn’t like him. He always comes when I call.”

  “You don’t suppose he’d have gone up the attic steps when we had them pulled down, do you?”

  “No. At least I don’t think so.”

  “I’d better check and make sure.”

  Josie was right on his heels as he went back through the hall and pulled the cord that dropped down the ladderlike staircase leading to the attic.

  “Stay put,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”

  She couldn’t have stood still if her life had depended on it. While Chase looked in the attic, Josie checked under the beds, in the closets and the sewing room. When Chase came down shaking his head, she felt rising panic curl through her belly.

  At a dead run, she charged back to the front of the house, shouting J.T.’s name. The front door stood ajar. She let out a trembling breath and tried to regain a sense of calm.

  “That little stinker. I didn’t think he could get this door open. It’s warped from the rain, so it sticks.” She swallowed hard, aware that her voice sounded breathy, much too bright, aware that she was rambling. “I’m sure I shut it, but it must have stuck on the jamb.”

  “Are you sure he actually came in earlier?”

  “Of course I’m sure.” Was that censure she detected in his voice? “What kind of a mother do you think I am?” Oh, God. Her baby was missing. She should never have taken her eyes off him. She’d allowed herself to get caught up in the sensuality of Chase’s eyes, in her own desires, when she should have been thinking about her child.

  She didn’t wait for Chase’s response, for him to validate the terrible guilt she already felt. Instead, she headed off to re-search where she’d already been. Surely she’d just missed him. He was probably curled up someplace next to that old tomcat he loved so much.

  But when she’d made a complete circle around the house, her heart clenched in dread. Especially when she saw that Chase, too, was empty-handed.

  “Oh, my God. Chase, where can he be? This isn’t like him.”

  “Calm down, Josie. He’s probably hiding.”

  “He wouldn’t do that!” Josie ignored his attempt to console her. She ran and searched and ran some more. The locusts were already singing, harmonizing with the tree frogs and crickets. Dusk would not be held at bay. Soon it would be dark. There were no street lights this far out in the country. When darkness fell, it would be final. With no hope of finding a small boy.

  Fear nearly crippled her but she couldn’t give in. She charged back into the house, screaming J.T.’s name. He wasn’t there. She could feel it. Still, she combed every corner of every room. She heard the screen door bang and rushed back through the house.

  The genuine worry on Chase’s face answered her question before she even asked. “You didn’t find him?”

  He shook his head.

  “Did you check the barn?”

  “Yes.”

  “Oh, God. I should call Bud.”

  “Who?”

  “Bud Temple. Mary Alice’s husband. He’s the sheriff.” She snatched the phone off the hook, but her hands were trembling so badly she dropped it. “I can’t remember the number. They’ll get a search party. I know they will. The whole town’ll come.” She grabbed at the dangling cord and upended a drawer in her search for the phone book. “What is that damned number? I should know it by heart!”

  Chase caught her by the shoulders and stopped her frantic search. He took the phone from her trembling hands, noticing that his own were none too steady. “Josie, he can only have been gone about fifteen minutes. I’ve got a cellular phone in the truck. We’ll go out and have a look, then if we don’t spot him, we’ll call in the town.”

  “But—”

  “Trust me, sugar. I’ve got an idea.”

  “What?”

  “The plane. It’ll be faster than waiting for help to arrive clear from town.”

  His words triggered something in Josie’s mind. “Oh, my God, Chase. J.T. was talking about the big planes.” She looked out across the cotton field. Sure enough, Chase’s yellow crop dusters were visible. “You don’t suppose he’d try to make it all the way over there do you?”

  Chase looped his arm around Josie’s shoulders and brought her up against his chest. For just an instant, he pressed his lips against her temple. It surprised him how easy and right it felt to hold her this way. Comfort offered and accepted between two frightened parents. As it should be. “We’ll know in a minute. Come on.”

  The two-way radio in the truck transmitted to a base unit over in his office as well as the airplanes.

  Bubba responded to Chase’s call. “Yeah, boss.”

  “Get the plane up, Bubba. We’re looking for a little boy, J.T. Alexander, three years old, he’s wearing…” Chase looked at Josie. Her eyes held a look of sheer panic and self-reproach. He knew she’d drawn a blank.

  Chase depressed the button on the microphone again. “He’s wearing blue shorts and a white T-shirt. Probably carrying a toy airplane. Buzz the cotton and the road between the airstrip and Josie Alexander’s place. And Bubba? Get somebody to have a look around the planes.”

  “Stand by, buddy. I’m airborne in two minutes.”

  Chase replaced the mike and glanced over at Josie. “We’ll find him.” He hoped to God he was right. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing that little boy. Not when he’d just found him.

  “He couldn’t have made it all the way over there in this amount of time, could he?”

  Chase shrugged. “Kids are amazing sometimes.”

  “I can’t believe I didn’t know what he was wearing. What kind of a mother does that make me?”

  “A scared one.”

  “I should have checked on him sooner. If something happens to him, I’ll never forgive myself.”

  It bothered him to see her so torn up. Especially when it reminded him that he was just as vulnerable—and only a breath away from showing it. That would never do.

  “Listen up, sugar. That airplane can fly a foot off the ground at 120 knots if need be. In a matter of about five minutes or less, Bubba’s gonna have a visual. Then we’re going to calmly drive over and pick up our son.” That “our son” part got a reaction out of her. Her shoulders squared and her chest puffed out.

  “That’s the first scenario. The second is, you’ll stay here, wringing your hands and heaping guilt on your shoulders and I’ll calmly go and pick up the boy. Now which is it going to be?”

  He was pleased to see that fragile look leave her face. Hell, if the trut
h be known, he was scared spitless himself.

  “Don’t you dare talk down to me, Chase Fowler. I’m a mother and I have every right to be upset.” She jerked open the passenger door and slid in. Chase got in also, but didn’t start the motor.

  “What are we waiting for?” Josie demanded. Adrenaline surged in waves of desolate, heartrending terror. She hated the inactivity, the waiting, just knew she could outrun any vehicle or airplane, propelled solely on the power of a mother’s love.

  “For Bubba. No sense taking off on a wild-goose chase. Let’s see what Bubba spots from the air. At least it’ll give us a direction to start.”

  Josie was about to object when static crackled out of the radio. Chase didn’t give Bubba an opportunity to talk.

  He keyed the mike. “Did you find him?”

  “That’s a roger. Thirty-seven rows of cotton in from where you are. Looks like he was headed our way and got sidetracked. Got an old tomcat under one arm and a toy in the other.” Bubba chuckled. “Mighty big load for the little man to carry.”

  Josie reached over and pulled Chase’s hand toward her so she could speak into the mike. “Thank you, Bubba.” Her voice trembled with heartfelt emotion.

  “Sure thing, ma’am. Just head on up the service road and you’ll intercept him. Ya’ll better hurry though. He’s waving at me and jumpin’ up and down. At this rate, he’s liable to strangle that poor cat.”

  “We’re on our way.” She smiled, then looked at Chase who was sitting stock-still in the driver’s seat. His eyes held both relief and a sharpened awareness. Relief because J.T. was his son, too. He’d been as worried as she, Josie realized. Awareness because in her haste to thank Bubba via the microphone, she’d cupped his hand between her own. The position had her lips practically touching his fingers and her breast pressed solidly, erotically against his forearm.

  To her everlasting horror, she felt her face flame. As gracefully as possible she released his hand and scooted back to her side of the truck. “We’d better get going.”

  Chase released a long breath, replaced the mike and put the truck in gear. “It’d be the smart thing to do,” he mumbled.

  Chapter Five

  Darkness surrounded them as they sat on the porch. Josie had a million things to do, but for now she set those thoughts aside. She was content just to hold J.T. in her arms. And if she were to be brutally honest, it felt pretty good having Chase there to share this quiet part of the evening.

  “I’m sorry I fell apart awhile ago.”

  “It’s understandable.”

  “You probably think I’m a terrible mother for letting my son out of my sight like that.” She could feel his gaze on her and the heat from his body. He was sitting close. He’d been doing that a lot during the afternoon and evening, standing close, touching her at every opportunity. She’d needed the comfort of his touch when J.T. had been missing. Now, comfort was the furthest thing from her mind. The casual brush of his fingertips sent sparks of longing right to her midsection, urges she had no way of controlling.

  “I’m not real up on the behavior of kids, but having been one myself once, I know you can’t keep an eye on them every second. I’d think that’s especially true for little boys.”

  “That scares me,” Josie said. “I read in the papers all the time about kids drowning in swimming pools or being hit by cars, or wandering off and being picked up by strangers.” She closed her eyes for a second. “When I think about something like that happening to J.T., I can hardly stand it. He means the world to me.”

  “Sounds like you’re trying to convince me, sugar. There’s no need, you know.”

  His low, raspy voice sent chills up her spine. But were they chills of passion or unease? She wasn’t sure.

  “Did it cross your mind, though? That I should have been watching him closer?” What if he saw this afternoon’s incident as a point in his favor should he decide to pursue his parental rights? She didn’t want to give him any extra ammunition.

  “I’m flattered that you care about what I think. But if we’re going to lay blame, I might as well take some of it. I was there, too.”

  “Yes, but J.T.’s my responsibility.”

  “He could be mine, too,” he said quietly.

  That’s what Josie was afraid of. But allowing Chase to accept responsibility would change everything. And she just couldn’t let that happen.

  “Lightning bugs,” J.T. whispered, saving her from having to comment, or argue.

  Josie shifted J.T. on her lap, then tightened her arms around him and kissed the top of his sweaty head. “Lots of them, huh?” Fireflies swarmed the yard, sending flashes of yellow glow all around them. She glanced down and noticed that her son’s eyelids were starting to get heavy. He’d had an adventurous day. One she’d just as soon not repeat.

  “Ever catch ’em and pinch the tails off when they light up?” Chase asked.

  Josie smiled in the darkness as old, fond memories slid into place like classic records dropping onto a turn-table. She was grateful that Chase didn’t press her on the joint responsibility thing.

  “Yes. I’d stick them all over myself like necklaces or bracelets. Bobby and I used to pretend they were special, magical diamonds that glowed only in the dark.”

  Chase caught one of the insects in his hand, pinched off the tail just as it lit up, then stuck the lighted goo on J.T.’s pudgy arm. Josie noticed how his fingers seemed to linger on the baby’s skin. She knew it was fanciful to think so, but his silence seemed to carry an air of sadness.

  “Tell me about Bobby.”

  So she hadn’t imagined it. There was sadness there. “What do you want to know?”

  Chase shrugged. “Anything. Everything. He was my brother, but I never knew him. You did. You can make him real for me.” He paused. “Unless…”

  “No, it isn’t painful for me to talk about Bobby,” she said, reading his mind. “We grew up together.”

  “And slaughtered tons of lightning bugs together?”

  She smiled. “Yes. Mama did sewing for Miz Alexander, and I tagged along and hung out with Bobby. He didn’t care that I wasn’t in his class of society, so to speak.”

  “Ah, that good ol’ code of the south.”

  “Something like that. Anyway, when I wasn’t with Mary Alice, I was with Bobby. We smoked out behind the barn when I was thirteen and fished out on the lake in a boat we sort of “borrowed” from Mr. Potts’s dock.” She grinned when she heard Chase chuckle.

  “My girlfriends and I’d go riding through town, looking for boys. It always seemed Bobby was there, hanging out. We’d just kind of end up together. One night we found ourselves on an old back road deep in the cotton fields.”

  “And the rest, as they say, is history?”

  Josie shrugged. “I suppose, or at least a turning point. I asked him to my senior prom. It felt easy, right somehow. We were best friends who fell in love. We ran into a little opposition from both families—”

  “Even yours?” He seemed surprised.

  “Yes. Mama wasn’t real sure a union like ours could actually make it. She wasn’t very supportive at first.” Nor was she to this day, but Josie didn’t admit that.

  “I see.”

  She wondered if he really did. But it was difficult to explain her mother to anyone. Eleanor Halliday was a martyr with a perpetually bitter slant to her mouth. She always wanted what others had, and never failed to remind Josie of her “place.” Josie couldn’t keep track of the number of times her mother had said, “When times get tough, Josephine Mae, you’ll bail out. You’ve never been one to finish what you started.” It seemed that Eleanor Halliday did her best to project her own inadequacies onto her daughter. Josie tried not to let the negative words take hold, but sometimes it was darn difficult. When Eleanor had hinted that Josie wasn’t good enough to be an Alexander because of who her family was, Josie had set out with a fierce determination to prove her wrong.

  “But Bobby didn’t care about what others
thought,” she continued, forcefully setting aside her mother’s negative predictions. “He was really self-assured in that way. He made his own decisions and never asked for or needed anyone else’s approval. It was almost like he didn’t notice, or that it didn’t ever cross his mind that someone might object to his choices, whether it be to a wife or the lifestyle he led.”

  “And what kind of lifestyle was that?”

  “Simple. Bobby wasn’t interested in being the lord of the town. He was a farmer. He loved the land and this house, and he loved people. And everyone loved Bobby. There was just something about him…an easiness, I guess. Folks felt downright at home around him.”

  “Sounds like a tough act to follow.” He didn’t say it with any malice and Josie didn’t take it that way. “So my brother liked to fish and farm the land. Did he do much hunting?”

  Josie couldn’t help the bubble of laughter that escaped. “Bobby was a terrible shot. The only time in his life that he killed a deer was when he hit one with his pickup out on 133. Killed it dead.”

  “That’ll do it,” Chase said dryly.

  She could see the flash of his dimples in the shadowy light coming through the front door. She liked the idea that her stories of Bobby could make him smile. Bobby would have liked Chase Fowler. “It also killed the truck. Totaled out the whole front end. Everybody teased him about it. Said for him to use the gun next time, that it’d be a whole lot cheaper. Bobby took the teasing in stride. Like I said, he wasn’t a very good shot.”

  “Maybe you’re not giving him enough credit. A deer’s a pretty big target, sugar.”

  When he called her sugar in that slow, sexy drawl of his, it made her want to forget everything that stood between them. But now wasn’t the time to think about such things, not when she was trying to give him a glimpse of a man she had once loved, of the brother he’d never known.