Reality Bites

by Nicola Rhodes

  ~ Chapter Twenty Three ~

  ‘Why didn’t the time freezing work?’ Cindy asked; she was addressing all her remarks to Tamar now, understandably.

  ‘I don’t know,’ answered Tamar. ‘But I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised, it’s like Denny always says, “it’s never that easy”.’

  ‘Power displacement,’ she thought. ‘Like it’s being interrupted by something.’ She wondered if she should warn the others that her powers were, at best, unreliable in this place.

  Cindy gave an involuntary shudder at the mention of Denny’s name.

  Tamar misinterpreted this gesture. ‘It is getting cold, isn’t it?’

  Cindy shrugged, but Tamar was right. As the end of the tunnel came into sight they saw flurries of snow blowing in.

  ‘Snow?’ said Stiles. ‘Half a mile back that way is a tropical beach.’

  Tamar and Cindy grinned at each other.

  ‘Ah, so literal,’ sighed Tamar.

  ‘Oh whence is fled the visionary gleam?’ added Cindy, with a smile.

  Stiles did not answer this remark, of which he could make neither head nor tail. He suddenly felt outnumbered; those two wicked women had joined forces and were laughing at him. For a moment, life felt normal again.

  Until they burst out into the sunlight and were faced with a vast frozen tundra.

  ‘Oh my God!’ gasped Stiles.

  It stretched on into infinity, an immense featureless wasteland of ice and snow. The biggest ice-skating rink in the world. In the sky was an aurora of shimmering coloured lights, each cloud was rimed in silver and shot through with gold, the whole sky was like a painting done by the hand of God. They stared at it in awe, until the sun suddenly went down, leaving a still beautiful but less awe-inspiring blanket of stars.

  The three of them huddled together, united again against the cold and the vastness. Even Tamar was intimidated. ‘How the hell are we supposed to get across that?’ she said, looking at Cindy.

  ‘Sleds?’ said Cindy.

  ‘We haven’t got any sleds – oh.’ This was Stiles; Tamar manifested a large sled, complete with blankets.

  ‘Can’t you see the exit?’ she asked Cindy.

  ‘No, but I’m sure we’ll know when we’ve found it, it’ll be guarded.’ She stole a glance at Stiles, but he held his peace.

  ‘Which way do we go?’ was all he said as they piled into the sled.

  ‘Don’t know,’ said Tamar, when Cindy didn’t answer. ‘Go,’ she said to the sled, which moved off on its own. ‘Here we go,’ she sang as they rattled away.

  ‘Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way …’

  Stiles was not amused at the light-hearted way in which “the girls”, as he was now thinking of them, were taking this journey. In fact, he was becoming increasingly bad-tempered, and he was beginning to miss Denny almost as much as Tamar was, and he did not even like the feller. But at least he would not have felt so – so out of it with another bloke to talk to. Maybe Denny was not so bad after all. This got him thinking. ‘I wonder why that old witch wouldn’t let Denny come with us,’ he ventured.

  Cindy turned away, and Tamar gave him a black look. She had been wondering this herself, and had been unable to come up with a satisfactory answer.

  ‘She probably had her reasons,’ said Cindy.

  ‘Like what?’ snapped Tamar?

  ‘I don’t know,’ said Cindy. ‘I never said they were good reasons.’ And the subject was dropped. Mainly because of the Yeti.

  ‘Ah,’ said Stiles, ‘speak of the devil – only kidding.’

  It had risen up apparently out of nowhere. Cindy was torn between terror and laughter at Stiles’s last remark, and the result was a grimace that would have made a gargoyle look attractive by comparison.

  ‘The second guardian, I assume,’ said Tamar, giving Stiles a look that promised trouble later on. She turned to Cindy. ‘You look for the exit, I’ll deal with him.’

  Cindy gulped and nodded; she had already spotted the exit, but did not feel inclined to mention this yet.

  Tamar had not moved; she was squinting at the sky. The Yeti did not seem interested in them at all, but they all felt certain that this would change if they tried to get past him.

  ‘Well, what are you waiting for?’ asked Stiles. ‘Aren’t you going to pound him?’

  ‘No,’ said Tamar. ‘You can’t kill a Yeti like that; they’re not flesh and blood.’

  ‘So what are you…?’

  ‘Shhh.’

  ‘Fire?’ asked Cindy.

  ‘Actually, I had something a little more creative in mind.’

  She thought for a while; the Yeti sat on the snow, picking its teeth and ignoring them. Stiles was getting impatient. ‘What about fire?’ he asked eventually.

  The sun was now directly overhead. Tamar ignored him.

  ‘Now, do you think?’ asked Cindy.

  ‘Mmm.’

  ‘What the hell are you two talking about?’ griped Stiles.

  ‘Shhh,’ said Cindy. ‘She needs to focus.’ And she giggled.

  ‘Women!’ muttered Stiles, grumpily.

  Tamar squinted at the sky one last time and said, ‘Okay, now.’ And sent a large lens flying into the air.

  Where the hell it had come from Stiles did not even try to guess. That was Tamar for you. The lens quite naturally focussed a beam of sunlight directly onto the Yeti. Not the brightest of creatures, the Yeti apparently did not notice anything wrong. It did, however, stir uncomfortably.

  Tamar moved forward, and it growled at her. ‘Calm down,’ she said brightly. ‘We’re not stupid enough to try to get past you!’ The Yeti subsided. Tamar sat cross-legged on the snow in front of it. She was already sitting in a small puddle. She began to talk airily about nothing in particular. Cindy joined in; she was especially good at this.

  Stiles was fuming by this time. ‘What are you trying to do?’ he hissed. ‘Bore it to death?’

  It took about twenty-five minutes for the Yeti to completely melt; Stiles had cottoned on to the plan after about ten minutes. ‘Well, I’ll be damned, it really is a snowman,’ he exclaimed, his good humour now completely restored.

  ‘Abominable,’ agreed Cindy.

  ‘Good job they’re so stupid,’ said Tamar, rising gracefully from her puddle. ‘We won’t be so lucky next time. Now where’s the exit?’

  ‘I’m afraid it’s down there,’ Cindy pointed to a fishing hole in the ice.

  ‘Oh Christ, are you sure?’

  ‘Can’t see anything else that could be it – sorry.’

  ‘Well, you’d better be right,’ growled Stiles. Cindy ignored him.

  ‘Okay’ said Tamar. ‘I’ll go first. Let’s get this over with.’

  They made ready to lower themselves into the hole in the ice, Cindy gingerly and Tamar planning on a dive, when another yeti appeared this one in full fury, roaring and thumping its chest. Tamar swore. ‘Oh to hell with it,’ she sighed and threw a fireball at it. ‘Sod the compassionate approach,’ she said, as it thrashed about melting like the wicked witch of the west. ‘We don’t have time for this.’

  Stiles agreed. ‘I don’t know why you didn’t just do that in the first place,’ he said.

  ‘Because I wasn’t sure that I could,’ thought Tamar, but she said nothing.

  Ever slid down the tubes at a water park? This was the experience that followed after they had clambered into the fishing hole in the ice. Only it went on for far longer and took place under the surface of the open ocean. Stiles was fascinated by the undersea world, visible through the transparent walls of the tunnel. He had never seen mermaids before – they were not what he would have expected, and he had never been so close to a shark. Tamar showed the very first sign of fear that he had ever seen in her when this particular incident happened, and he wondered about this, but he supposed that everybody had phobias – she was mysteriously nervous around empty bottles too, now he came to think about it. Cindy was too worried about the possibi
lity of their running out of air to properly enjoy the ride. She was also concerned about the state of her hairdo, but that was just Cindy. Tamar thought she had worked out why Denny had not been able to come. His claustrophobia would definitely have been an issue in this confined space; the fact of their being under water would only have compounded the problem. Stiles, on the other hand, was having the most fun he had ever allowed himself to have. ‘Wheee!’ he shrieked, like a two year old, (it’s always the strong silent ones.) Tamar was amused; she too was enjoying it, she joined in. ‘Wheee! – Ouch.’ They had landed.

  ~ Chapter Twenty Four ~

  Of all the places they had expected to find under the sea – Atlantis, the Marie Celeste, the last thing they had expected was a library.

  It was quite a nice library. Old fashioned, with mahogany shelves and long reading tables, with green reading lamps, and a parquet floor. On one table a chess set was laid out.

  That was one end; the other end was more – well, put it this way, there were no books only rows and rows of scrolls, and the floor, not to mention the shelves, were made of stone, and the floor was inlaid with an intricate mosaic. There were signs of fire damage in this older part, and the light was dim; this was because the skylight was covered over with ice.

  ‘It’s a library,’ said Stiles, somewhat pointlessly. He turned to Cindy. ‘Any ideas?’ he asked.

  She shook her head, apparently as flabbergasted as he was.

  ‘I know you girls think I’m too literal,’ he said. ‘But I have to ask, I’m sorry, but why is there a library at the bottom of the sea?’ He glanced at Tamar, she ignored him. Cindy shrugged.

  ‘Well, there doesn’t appear to be anyone here.’ He was struggling here, trying to work both ends of the conversation.

  ‘Don’t count on it,’ said Cindy.

  Stiles gave up; he leaned back and knocked over a pile of heavy looking books from the top of a low shelf.

  ‘Ouch!’ came a voice from underneath the books, and then some ripe language as the books heaved and out from under them, struggled a small hairy figure, dressed in a tweed suit.

  ‘What the ***** do you think you’re doing?’ it screamed.

  ‘Oh God, I’m really sorry,’ said Stiles, picking the creature up and dusting it off. This only served to make the little “man” even angrier. ‘Put me down, you great lummox,’ it shrieked. Stiles dropped him. The creature turned its back on them and composed itself.

  ‘Er, excuse me,’ said Cindy. ‘I don’t suppose …’

  The little hairy man – he was about three feet tall, turned. ‘Hubba hubba,’ he said, leering at her.

  Cindy backed away hurriedly. ‘Urgh.’

  Stiles laughed. ‘Well if he’s the guardian, we shouldn’t have any trouble getting past him,’ he said.

  ‘Don’t count on it,’ said Cindy again.

  ‘I’ve been here before,’ said Tamar suddenly, coming out of a reverie. She rounded on the little furry creature. ‘This is the lost library of Alexandria, isn’t it?’

  ‘Great Zeus!’ said the little creature. ‘How old are you? – Ahem, yes, yes it is er young lady. I am its custodian, and I got the job on my own,’ he added challengingly.

  They all stared at him.

  Tamar recovered first. ‘So, I am Tamar,’ she said, ‘and this is Jack and Cindy. What is your name?’

  ‘Oh yes, sorry, I forgot my manners in all the concussion.’ He glared at Stiles. ‘My name is Alcazar, and I am the custodian of the Great Library of Alexandria, and the guardian of this part of the labyrinth. And I got the job on my own.’

  ‘That’s great – Alcazar,’ said Tamar.

  ‘Wait a minute,’ interrupted Stiles, ‘The library of Alexandria? The actual…? Oh never mind.’

  ‘Yes, the actual library,’ said Alcazar. ‘I am its custodian. And I got the job on my own. Tea?’

  ‘Yes, you said,’ said Stiles. He shook his head at the tea. ‘If this is the Great Library of Alexandria, shouldn’t it be … wasn’t it?’

  ‘Burnt down?’ said Alcazar. ‘Part of it was. This is the new annexe, finest teak, those shelves.’ He ran a hand along one of them and coughed. ‘Urgh huh huh. Dust! Yes well, I built most of this, updated the books and so on, I got this job on my own, you know? Sure you wouldn’t like some tea?’

  ‘You know, you don’t look like an Alcazar,’ commented Cindy. ‘You look more like – like a Eugene. I used to have a dog called Eugene.’

  Alcazar or Eugene bristled. And bristled, and bristled some more, until he was the size of a small car and covered in scales.

  ‘What the …?’ began Stiles.

  ‘Mesomorph,’ said Tamar. ‘Shape shifter. Well you didn’t really think it was going to be that easy did you?’

  Stiles sighed. ‘No, I suppose not.’

  Eugene, as they would call him from now on, subsided into his incarnation as a small furry man.

  ‘So, what do we have to do to get past you?’ asked Tamar.

  ‘Well now, it’s a battle of wits, isn’t it?’ said Eugene.

  ‘Can, can you look like anything?’ asked Cindy.

  For answer, Eugene transformed into a tall muscular handsome man. ‘Is this what you had in mind?’ he winked. ‘Cutie.’ Cindy giggled.

  ‘Or perhaps something like this.’ He changed into a pretty good facsimile of Denny. Cindy winced and took a step back. Tamar frowned. ‘How did you know …?’

  ‘Pretty basic mind reading,’ said Eugene. ‘I got this one from you,’ he added unnecessarily.

  ‘Mind reading?’ said Stiles to Cindy. ‘How are we supposed to win a battle of wits with a mind reader?’

  Tamar heard this. ‘I think that’s the point,’ she said sourly.

  ‘Ha!’ said Eugene.

  Tamar bristled in much the same way as Eugene had and became a dragon. ‘Or,’ she said. ‘You could just save yourself a lot of pain and show us the exit.’

  Eugene became a huge monster with a shark’s head. ‘Don’t think so sister,’ he said. Tamar winced and subsided. Eugene grinned; with his sharks head, this had a pretty sinister effect. ‘I got this job on my own you know,’ he said, predictably. He really did seem inordinately proud of this fact. Like it was such a great job!

  Tamar squared her shoulders and did a pretty good impersonation of Beelzebub as illustrated in “Dante’s Inferno”.

  Eugene laughed. ‘Met him,’ he said. ‘If the real thing didn’t scare me, you’ve got no chance. This is fun; I’ve never had a Djinn in here before.’

  ‘Former Djinn,’ said Stiles. Eugene ignored him and turned into an enormous bottle.

  Tamar actually screamed, before she could stop herself. It was a surprisingly high pitched girlish scream.

  Stiles clapped his hands over his ears. He gripped her arms. ‘Get hold of yourself – former Djinn, remember? Former.’

  ‘Right, right, thank you,’ she calmed down. ‘We’re going to have to change tactics I think. This isn’t working.’

  ‘Oh do you think not?’ said Stiles, sarcastically. ‘I thought it was going quite well.’

  ‘Huddle,’ Tamar ordered.

  ‘Well,’ said Stiles. ‘I don’t think we can scare him anyway.’

  ‘The problem is,’ said Cindy. ‘We don’t really know whether he can actually harm us in these forms he can take on.’

  ‘I think we have to assume that he can,’ said Tamar.

  ‘So we have to figure out what he wants. Maybe a bribe?’ said Stiles.

  ‘Oooh a corrupt copper, I like it,’ said Tamar.

  ‘What do we have, that he could possibly want?’ said Cindy.

  ‘He seems to like you,’ said Tamar, grinning slyly.

  Cindy was horrified. ‘You wouldn’t!’

  ‘Of course we wouldn’t. Don’t be silly. On the other hand, I don’t think he’s really dangerous, and he can be anyone you want him to be.’

  ‘No!’

  ‘Okay, so what do we do?’ asked Stiles.

&nbs
p; ‘I don’t know,’ Tamar shrugged. ‘Ask politely?’

  ‘We could try it, I suppose,’ said Stiles.

  Eugene interrupted them. ‘Come on,’ he said. ‘I’m bored.’

  ‘So, Eugene,’ said Stiles. ‘How about we talk?’

  Eugene laughed and transformed into a sinister hooded figure holding a large scythe. He indicated the chess set. ‘How about we play?’ he said.

  It was decided that Stiles should play him, since he was the only one of them who had played before. ‘Don’t forget he can read your mind,’ cautioned Tamar.

  ‘Bit of an unfair advantage,’ said Stiles, but he did not seem too worried.

  They sat at the board. ‘Do have some tea,’ said Eugene.

  ‘The fact is,’ Eugene was explaining while waiting for Stiles to move, ‘I was supposed to appear to you in this guise and offer to play you for your freedom, but you caught me off guard with your book shoving. Still I suppose it doesn’t really matter. Oh dear.’ He made his move. ‘Check.’

  ‘Oh damn!’ said Stiles, glaring at the board. ‘So it’s the traditional game with Death is it?’ he made his move.’

  ‘Oh yes, I don’t know whose idea that was, but the actual reaper, was too busy to do it, so they asked me, I got this job on my own. Your move.’

  Stiles moved.

  ‘You should take your time more,’ admonished Eugene. He was frowning at the board in a puzzled way. Eventually he moved. ‘More tea?’

  ‘Oh I don’t think so,’ said Stiles. ‘I think we’re done, check mate.’

  ‘What? Well, that’s never happened before.’

  Tamar and Cindy whooped jubilantly.

  Stiles grinned. ‘My game’s poker really, and since I had the advantage of knowing that you could read my mind – well, you can see … You know, you’re not really a very good player.’

  ‘I never needed to be, before this. I got this job on my own you know? Oh well, a deal’s a deal. This way.’

  ‘That was brilliant,’ said Cindy.

  ‘Masterful,’ agreed Tamar.

  Eugene, now restored to his former total lack of glory, pushed a large bookcase aside to reveal, unsurprisingly, a passageway. It was almost properly labyrinth like, in that the walls were made of large blocks of sandstone and there were the mandatory gargoyles and torches in brackets creating eerie shadows.