Journey’s End

by Jennifer Scoullar

  But when they turned around, Abbey wasn’t there. She’d probably run off with Dusty somewhere.

  ‘I’ll find her,’ said Kim, and slipped down to the sheds. It would give her a chance to ring Taj and tell him about the scalper. But when she tried, there was no reception. Damn these mountains and their dead spots.

  She found Abbey and Dusty, sitting together on a broken bale in the old hay shed.

  ‘What’s wrong, sweetie?’

  ‘Is Ben still here?’

  Kim sat down beside her. ‘He’s staying for a barbeque.’

  Abbey snuggled close and peered at her mother, her eyes like searchlights. ‘Do you like him – the way you like Daddy, I mean?’

  ‘No, darling. Not the way I like Daddy. But I do like him a lot.’

  ‘I don’t.’

  ‘Why is that?’ asked Kim. ‘Has he ever done anything to hurt you, to make you feel uncomfortable?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Then what?’

  ‘He’s devious,’ said Abbey.

  ‘Devious?’ Kim smiled. ‘Do you even know what that means?’

  ‘Of course I do. Don’t patronise me, Mum.’

  Kim suppressed her smile. What did she ever do to deserve a child like this? ‘Okay, then – tell me exactly how Ben is devious.’

  ‘He cheats at magic. You know that disappearing coin trick? He sneaks it into his other hand. I saw him.’

  ‘That’s not cheating. That’s an optical illusion. All magicians do it. It’s just some are cleverer at getting away with it than others.’

  Abbey pouted and kicked the ground. ‘Well, I still don’t trust him. Neither does Dusty.’

  Kim pondered the best way to lure her daughter back to the party. ‘Grace will be looking for you. How about we go up to the house and you can show her how we feed the joeys?’ Abbey’s stubborn mouth relaxed a little. She was wavering.

  ‘Can we have bowls of ice-cream with Milo?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘And can we scrunch up chocolate crackles and sprinkle them on top?’

  Kim frowned. ‘You drive a hard bargain, but okay.’

  Dusty’s ears pricked up; a moment later his tail was furiously wagging. Abbey cocked her own head to the side, listening with a very dog-like expression. ‘Taj is here.’ The girl and dog ran off.

  Taj. That solved the problem of trying to ring him. Kim wandered after the pair under the afternoon sky, a sky almost white with clouds. What would he make of the scalper’s visit? Of the dead dingo that looked so much like Dusty?

  Kim was surprised to discover Taj and Daisy deep in conversation on the verandah. Stuart was listening in, while Jake hovered nearby. Kim had to tap Daisy to get her attention.

  ‘Daisy, can I steal Taj for a bit?’

  ‘Righto. I’ll go talk to Ben instead. Here I was feeling sorry for you. Worrying you’d be lonely, living way out here all by yourself. Turns out you’re up to your ears in handsome, eligible men.’ Daisy winked at her. ‘You’re a dark horse, Kim Sullivan.’

  Kim felt the beginnings of a blush, made a face and a shooing gesture with her hands.

  ‘Okay, okay. I’m going.’

  ‘There’s good news.’ Taj glanced around, making sure they were alone. ‘The pack has moved back up to the original release site. Either something frightened them or the wild dog has led them away.’

  ‘Have you seen it, this new dingo?’

  ‘An older female. Tawny with a limp. Joining them will save her life, and perhaps the lives of them all. She offers them native-born wisdom and they offer the protection of a pack.’

  Kim told him about the fox scalper and the dead dingo. ‘It looked just like Dusty.’

  ‘His father, I think,’ said Taj. ‘Did anybody else see?’

  ‘Everybody saw. Well, not the girls, thank god. They were in the house with Daisy.’

  ‘Ben too?’

  She nodded, and a shadow crossed his face. ‘We must hope the dingoes remain up near the park. I will leave them a kill twice a week again, to encourage them to stay.’ Taj’s eyes darted to the door, and he put a forefinger to his lips.

  Ben was strolling down the verandah towards them, a curious gleam in his eye. ‘What are you two in a huddle about?’

  Kim shot him a nervous smile, although she had no idea why. Ben already knew about the dingoes.

  ‘Will you stay for the barbeque, Taj?’ She didn’t expect him to say yes. He didn’t spend his downtime at her place anymore. But this was proving to be a day of surprises.

  ‘Thank you, yes.’

  The pleasant afternoon wore on. Food was plentiful and delicious. Beer and wine flowed freely. The clouds began to clear, revealing the cool blue sky. Jake and Stu were soon laughing and joking as if they’d never been apart. They began building a tree house in the old willow peppermint. Abbey and Grace were in their element with the animals, and Kim couldn’t stop smiling at Daisy. Everybody appeared to be enjoying themselves.

  Yet there was an undeniable undercurrent of tension between the two men. Abbey wasn’t the only one stonewalling Ben today. Taj was guilty too. Nothing overt. Kim sensed it in the odd, scathing glance. In the hostile set of his shoulders when the two by chance bumped into one another. In the sarcastic curl of his lip when Ben told a funny story about his latest property deal.

  Not that Ben was innocent either. It could have been an accident of course, but he overcooked Taj’s steak and then dropped it on the ground when passing it over. Ben speared the meat with a fork, dusted it off and handed it to Taj. ‘It’ll be okay, won’t it, mate? You’ll have had worse back home.’

  A friendly game of backyard cricket warped into something else as Taj stepped up to the rubbish-bin wicket. He whacked Ben’s first ball, an attempted yorker, high and long towards the trees.

  ‘Watch out for snakes,’ said Daisy, as the boys hared after it.

  He struck the second ball hard back at Ben who managed to parry it away.

  ‘Ooh, dropped,’ the boys sang out.

  Ben’s next ball flew fast and straight at Taj’s face. He couldn’t react in time, and the tennis ball thumped into his ear.

  ‘Sorry, mate,’ said Ben. ‘She slipped.’

  ‘No ball,’ called Stu. ‘Above waist height. Free hit.’

  Kim walked over, picked up the ball and put it in her coat pocket. ‘I think perhaps that’s enough cricket for today.’

  Almost midnight. Taj and Ben had gone home, and the kids were in bed. Kim sat with Daisy out on the verandah. The moon hung in the sky – a giant lantern, beaming bright above the trees. The night was quiet, apart from the rhythmic hooting of an owl, and the soft flutter of Bogong moths against the kitchen window. A half-empty bottle of red wine stood between them on an upturned milk crate. They nursed their glasses. A little drunk, enjoying being together without anybody else around.

  ‘I had no idea how beautiful it was here,’ said Daisy. ‘No wonder you want to stay.’

  Moonlight through the firewheel tree was working its magic, casting patterns in the shape of butterflies and birds on the wall.

  ‘It’s beautiful all right.’

  ‘But there’s something I don’t understand. You’re with Ben now, right?’

  ‘No . . . well yes, sort of.’ She’d been expecting this interrogation, but even so, Kim’s face flushed with warmth. ‘We’re taking it slowly.’

  Daisy’s eyes gleamed darkly in the moonlight. Kim tried to read her expression. No, surely not. Was that disapproval she saw?

  ‘I don’t get it,’ said Kim. ‘For months you tell me, Go out. Have some fun, Stop moping around.’

  Daisy giggled. ‘I wasn’t quite as insensitive as that, was I?’

  ‘And then when I finally put my toe in the water . . . What gives?’

  ‘Don’t read me wrong,’ said Daisy. ‘I’m proud of you, I really am. It’s just —’

  ‘What?’

  ‘You’ve got the wrong man.’

  ‘I thought you liked
Ben?’

  ‘I do. I like him because he’s funny, charming and gob-smackingly handsome.’ She pretended to swoon. ‘Don’t tell Steve I said that, by the way. But my question is, why do you like him?’

  ‘Well, I suppose for all the reasons you just mentioned.’ Kim’s head was swimming, and not just from the wine. This conversation had taken a decidedly unexpected turn.

  ‘I don’t think so,’ said Daisy. ‘Those reasons wouldn’t wash for you. They might be the icing on the cake, but they wouldn’t be enough by themselves.’

  ‘Okay, miss psychology professor. Why do you think I like him?’

  ‘You really want me to tell you?’

  Kim swigged the last of her wine, and poured herself another. ‘Hmm. Let me see – yes.’

  ‘You like Ben, because . . . ’ Daisy sipped her wine, seemed lost in thought. ‘Because he reminds you of Connor and because he pays attention to Jake. You don’t feel so guilty about Jake not having his father when Ben’s around.’

  Kim laughed: a high, nervous laugh to hide how thrown she was. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. There’s more to it than that.’

  ‘Tell me, then. Tell me why you like Ben?’

  ‘Like you said, he’s funny and good-looking.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘And —’ Kim stopped short. She couldn’t think of anything else to say.

  Daisy topped up her glass. ‘Here, I’ll help you. What do you guys have in common?’

  ‘Well, he lives next door.’

  ‘Very funny. Is he interested in plants, for instance? Does he love dogs? Does he help you with your orphans? Is he a nerd, like you, or a mad reader? Is he artistic at all?’

  ‘I’m not artistic.’

  ‘Maybe you don’t have any talent yourself —’

  ‘Thanks, Daise.’

  ‘But you like looking at arty things. Remember all those galleries you dragged me round? Carvings and sculptures and things? You’re a culture vulture, Kim. Is Ben like that?’

  ‘Jesus Christ, I’ve only just started seeing him’

  ‘And I only just met him today,’ said Daisy, ‘but I can tell you, he’s not. I know somebody who is though. Taj, that’s who.’

  ‘You’re drunk.’

  Daisy thought about it for a while. ‘Yes. Yes, I am.’ They both burst out laughing. Daisy finished her wine, and stood up, a little unsteadily. ‘I’m turning in.’

  ‘Goodnight, Daisy, and thank you.’

  ‘What for?’

  ‘For ringing me when I was too stupid and stubborn to ring you. For calling me a nerd, and saying I have no artistic talent.’

  Daisy started giggling again. ‘Any time, mate. Now I’m going to bed.’

  Kim smiled, feeling giddy, surrendering to the red wine buzz. How she loved having Daisy back in her life. Daisy with her unbridled enthusiasm, her wacky sense of humour, her zany ideas. Crazy Daisy, Connor used to call her. Crazy in the nicest way, but crazy just the same. She hadn’t changed.

  Kim lifted up the bottle of wine. Empty. Just as well, she’d have a headache in the morning as it was.

  Kim picked up the empty glasses, took them to the kitchen and piled them with the rest of the dirty dishes. She peeked into Abbey’s room; the girls were fast asleep, so beautiful when they were sleeping. In the boys’ room, Dusty was stretched out beside Jake, their heads together on the pillow. Stu was on the floor, one foot out of the doona, the way he’d always slept. It was so good to see Grace and Stu again.

  Dusty opened his eyes and wagged his tail. She crept in, meaning to make him get down. But the beseeching look in his big brown eyes melted her resolve. She kissed Dusty and Jake on the head. ‘Goodnight, boys.’

  Kim got undressed, leaving her clothes in a pile on the floor. Shivering, she pulled on pyjamas and dived beneath the doona. The old bed had never felt so comfy. But despite her weariness and all the wine, sleep would not come. That last tipsy conversation kept coming back. Why was she with Ben if they had nothing much in common? That was the question Daisy had asked her, wasn’t it? It was all mixed up in her mind. Or maybe that wasn’t it. Maybe the real question was, if they had nothing much in common, why did Ben want to be with her?

  CHAPTER 31

  ‘Kim?’

  She looked up from her potting to find Mel standing there. ‘Hi.’ Kim wiped her dirty hands on her jeans. ‘It’s good to see you.’

  The school holidays were drawing to an end. Daisy and her kids had gone home, casting Kim into a depression. She’d been thinking about Mel a lot, trying to pluck up the courage to go see her, given she’d had no luck on the phone. Hoping that, like Daisy, Mel might come around first.

  ‘Jake and Abbey are down at the school, helping Jean dig the veggie garden. But they’ll be back soon if you want to bring your kids around.’

  Mel didn’t look her in the eye. She shuffled her feet, making lines in the damp earth. ‘I’m afraid this isn’t a social call.’

  ‘Oh?’ Kim put her trowel down. She’d never seen Mel look so serious.

  ‘Your dingoes have killed my sheep.’

  Kim felt the ground shift beneath her. She reached back for the old trestle table to steady herself.

  ‘Two of my best ewes. I found them this morning. They’d been dead a couple of days. Milly and Panda. Pregnant with their first lambs.’

  ‘Pregnant? Oh no . . .’

  Mel’s mask of control was slipping. ‘If only Sultan had been there.’

  ‘He wasn’t?’

  ‘No.’ Mel’s voice cracked. ‘He was running with the weaner lambs. Maybe it’s just as well. What hope would he have had against a pack?’

  ‘Can I . . . can I come and see?’

  Mel nodded. ‘I want you to. Taj as well. I want to prove what a mistake you’ve made.’

  Three crows flapped away as the jeep approached. It was an awful sight. The corpses lay not far from each other, hollow sockets staring skyward. The birds had picked out their eyes. Great holes gaped in their fleece where their flanks should have been, exposing blood-flecked bones.

  Mel and Kim stayed by the car while Taj went for a closer look. He made a thorough examination: inspecting the bodies, taking photographs, studying the ground for many metres around. Kim had to look away when he rolled one sheep over, and a slimy, purplish mass of entrails spilled out. She should look – her dingoes had done this – but she couldn’t.

  When Taj returned to the car, his face was grim. ‘I’ll email you those photos, Mel, and come back later to remove the carcasses.’

  She gave him a thin smile of thanks.

  ‘And I’ll pay you compensation,’ said Kim. ‘For the sheep. For the unborn lambs. For emotional distress, whatever you want.’

  Mel didn’t seem to be listening. ‘Panda was a real character,’ she said. ‘Hand-raised as a lamb, so very tame. And she loved Sultan. So did Milly. They saw dogs as friends.’ She blinked back tears. ‘They wouldn’t even have been scared of the dingoes, not to start with . . .’

  Kim could feel her own tears coming. ‘Oh, Mel, you warned me and I didn’t listen. I’m so very sorry. We’ll do anything to make up for it, won’t we, Taj?’

  Taj remained strangely stony-faced and silent.

  ‘There’s only one thing you can do for me.’ Mel wiped at her eyes. ‘Get rid of those dingoes.’

  Taj sat in Kim’s kitchen with Dusty’s head pressed against his knee. She bustled about, making coffee, wiping down the bench, finding biscuits – anything to avoid opening the emotional floodgates.

  ‘Come and sit down,’ he said at last.

  She collapsed in the chair opposite him. ‘You told me this wouldn’t happen, that the dingoes would leave the sheep alone. What are we going to do? Mel’s bound to tell people. What if she reports the attacks? What if —’

  Taj held up his hand. ‘The dingoes didn’t do it.’

  Kim grasped for understanding. ‘You mean it was domestic dogs?’

  ‘I mean it wasn’t dogs at all. Dogs and di
ngoes kill by biting throats, damaging the trachea and major blood vessels in the neck. Or they attack fleeing prey from the rear, causing hind leg wounds. Mel’s sheep had no such injuries.’

  ‘No, just bloody great holes in their bellies.’

  Taj fixed her with those piercing eyes. ‘That’s not what killed them.’

  ‘You could have fooled me.’

  ‘Those sheep were already dead when the scavengers came.’

  ‘Already dead?’ Taj was making less and less sense. ‘How could you possibly know that?’

  Taj gulped his coffee, swirling the dregs, inspecting his cup as if the answer might lie there. ‘I can’t be certain until I skin the carcasses. The size and location of wounds in the hides will tell the true story. But there were no prints around the kills other than foxes and eagles. I tell you, our dingoes aren’t to blame.’

  Kim tried the theory on for size. ‘So how did the sheep die? If some illness is going around, we have to tell Mel.’

  ‘We will, once I examine the bodies. But, until then, please don’t share my suspicions with anyone.’

  Kim gave him a wry smile. She had no intention of peddling his crazy notion around town.

  Taj rose to leave. ‘There’s one more thing.’ The clock on the wall ticked loud in the silence. ‘I want to take Dusty home with me,’ he said. ‘Just for a while.’

  Kim stiffened. ‘Whatever for?’

  Taj didn’t answer, his expression guarded.

  ‘No,’ she said. ‘Absolutely not. Dusty’s part of the family. It would break Jake’s heart to spend even a night apart from him.’

  ‘Very well.’ His dark eyebrows slanted in a frown. ‘But don’t let him wander.’

  Kim followed Taj out to his car. Dusty seemed agitated, trotting at his heels and leaping into the driver’s seat when he opened the door.

  Kim called him down. ‘No, Dusty, you stay here with me.’

  As they watched Taj rattle off down the drive, the pup raised his nose in a spine-tingling howl that seemed too big for his body. A howl full of infinite sadness.

  Later that night, Kim sat on the couch, leaning against Ben, listening to the rain on the roof. He pumped the air as another English wicket fell. With her new-found interest in cricket, the Ashes test series had turned into compulsory late-night viewing, especially since Australia was trouncing the English team.