Endgame (Book 1)

by W. A. R.

  Brian nodded as Shelly spoke. “I’m not so sure that Jackson or Bobby-Jean will understand either.” Amber’s thought went to her mother and father and realized that she couldn’t agree more. Brian glanced at her, sharing her thoughts

  “That’s for sure.” Brian agreed on a sigh. “We can just tell them the general idea of it all.”

  “All in favor of telling everyone at home that the turn of events of our outing was completely accidental?” Amber called out, lifting her hand into the air.

  “Agreed.” They all said in unison before things quieted down once again. Amber knew that everyone was thinking about everything that had happened, not morosely, but more thoughtfully and understanding. It seemed that Amber wasn’t the only one to come down from her adrenaline high of the recent days and accept what fate had to offer. She exhaled shakily. She simply had to accept it all. There was nothing she could do about the past; she certainly couldn’t change it. All she could do from that point forward was talk to both Miles and George…to reach an understanding with them both.

  Brian decided to break the silence. “Hey, George?”

  George looked up at Brian curiously. “Yeah?”

  Brian cleared his throat, as if it were the most difficult thing in the world. “Thank you…you know…for the fire and keeping up with Amber in the truck.” He said awkwardly. George chuckled as Shelly began to stand.

  “Babe? Can I talk to you?” Brian asked her, quickly turning his attention from George to Shelly, avoiding the awkwardness of that moment as much as possible. She threw her legs over the side of the truck and grinned at him in the pale moonlight.

  “Where do you think I am going? You owe me an apology. Let’s go.” She told him, jumping off of the side of the truck and landing on her feet. Brian blushed at her words, and followed her to his truck. Amber giggled before glancing at George.

  “Just so you’re warned, if you hear moaning, it probably isn’t Biters.” Amber easily stood, watching them go with a smile on her face. George laughed easily before watching Amber climb out of the truck as well. George gripped her hand for stability as she slid fluidly off of the side. The sharp pain of weight applying to hard ground shot through her feet. She winced and pulled her jacket tighter around her before looking at George. “I’ll sleep back there, too, by the way, so don’t get any idea about stealing my place of comfort.” She threatened him teasingly before shivering. He stared hard at her, hands deep in his pockets.

  “You know, you really shouldn’t blame yourself. I told you to run.” He told her and she absorbed his statement. Oh, she thought, so they were having the conversation she needed to have right then. She smiled briefly at him, assuring him that she was alright, but her smile also held a sadness for him. After a moment, she shifted on her feet awkwardly.

  “George, I should have stayed.” He stepped forward; placing both hands on her shoulders and leaned down to her level, making eye contact. His green eyes reflected her blue ones and she felt her senses heighten in response to the sincerity with which he spoke.

  “Can’t you just let me pretend I did something right for once?” he told her, and she sighed before he pulled her into a warm hug. She melded against him and offered him reprieve from his own guilt.

  “I shouldn’t have left you there, George. I know what you heard. I heard it too, and I am so sorry you had to witness it.” She said gently against his chest. His heartbeat quickened and she felt his arms tighten around her reflexively, as if trying to block out pain that simply couldn’t be avoided.

  He cleared his throat before speaking. “Things are going to happen; you just have to learn to let them go. We…we just have to learn from those moments. I know you don’t run, but everyone will have moments when they will, and I know that when my moment comes and I run, you won’t. It is what we all do for each other.” Amber nodded at this, settling her head against his chest. His arms held her tightly, his hands stroking her back and comforting her and she tightened her hold on him, granting him the same reassurance. “You ran for me, because I told you to, and it saved my life. Sometimes, the right things just seem wrong and that is something we need to come to grips with.” He told her and she tensed, feeling as if his words had slapped her. Those were so eerily similar to Miles’s words that for a moment, her thoughts faltered to him. “And people having your back is what happened tonight.” He said as an afterthought, easing away from the conversation they needed to have but didn’t want to have. She pulled back from his embrace and ran a hand over her hair.

  “I’m sorry, George.” She murmured, wrapping her arms tightly around her torso.

  George shrugged nonchalantly, shoving his hands into his pockets and leaning his back against the bed of the truck. He eyed her meaningfully. “I’m not sure why you are apologizing to me.”

  She turned her melancholy eyes up to him. “George, I am so sorry about Bobby and Regina…I can’t imag…” George held a hand up to stop her. She bit her bottom lip and exhaled. “George, I need to have this conversation.” She told him gently and he sighed, turning his eyes up to her.

  He sighed. “As far as Bobby and Regina…I’d rather not discuss them.” He gulped on his own words, pausing before continuing. “They are my demons to make peace with. They aren’t yours. You need to let them go, because if you can’t, then I will certainly never be able to.” He told her gently and she stared hard at him, feeling weighted down but simultaneously free. He shifted on his feet. “Shelly was right, you know.”

  She looked away from him, unsure if she wanted to hear what he had to say then. “How so?” she asked despite herself.

  He crossed his arms across his chest and glanced past her to the wood line in the distance. “I will freely admit that I wish I was as strong and as compassionate as you were tonight about saving that woman and boy. We were selfish to an extent, I guess; but we had to be. We couldn’t afford that selfless compassion.”

  Amber stared at him and found herself nodding. “I know. I was so stupid…”

  “Not stupid. Never stupid…just….determined and a tad too self-sacrificing. In two days’ time, you have come this close to death…” he narrowed a short distance between his thumb and forefinger, causing Amber to wince, “…over someone else other than yourself. Other people have even risked their lives for you. You are still, after everything, are still…what’d she call you?...oh right, the needle to their moral compass.” He told her on a smile and she shook her head, laughing lightly. “Sometimes, it may be hard to accept for some of us, but tonight, you helped us realize what the right thing to do was, even though we had to make some…adjustments.” He grimaced at his own choice of words, and watched as Amber did the same. “Those adjustments couldn’t be helped. Now, we will all feel terrible about what happened; it will be a night that will haunt us, and we will carry it with us until the day we die. But again, it is something we need always remember but let go of.” He glanced towards the front of the truck, and Amber knew he was thinking of the small child in the front seat with Zeus

  Amber looked at him firmly. “Are you trying to convince me or yourself?”

  He glanced sideways at her. “Your guess is as good as mine.” He told her and again she chuckled. He shrugged and began towards the front of the truck, opening the back door and climbing in. “I am going to attempt to clear my head for a while in the comfort of this truck and the all so powerful Zeus.” At this, Zeus placed his paws on the back of the front seat and looked happily at George.

  “Traitor.” She told the dog, remembering how he had trailed after Miles earlier instead of assisting her. George smiled at her, his generous, gorgeous smile.

  “So, we are good…finally. That tension was about to get the best of me.” George groaned, rubbing a hand across his face. “Get some sleep. I’ll be here if you need me.” He told her and promptly he shut the door, leaving her to her own devices. She sighed. Well, that was one conversation down, one more to go. Ugh, she groaned inwardly. This was going to be yet a
nother emotional rollercoaster of a conversation that she didn’t want to have. She swallowed the nervous lump in her throat and turned towards the back of the truck. She wasn’t going to go looking for him, she told herself. She was going to climb into the back of the truck and sleep as good as she could. She sighed, deciding firmly that that was exactly what she was going to do. She gripped the raised tailgate and lifted her leg for leverage before she pulled herself up. She stood then, a few feet from the ground and looked in wonder at the sight around her. She watched as the wind rustled the now tall grass over the hills, sweeping across and wrapping around her in a cool embrace before flowing towards the cluster of hills to the front. The moon was big and white, its lustrous glow shining brightly against the power lines that were still standing. Amber closed her eyes and inhaled the fresh scent of earth. It was magnificent.

  “Having fun?” she heard a deep male voice ask of her. She opened her eyes, startled, and tumbled over the edge of the tailgate and into the bed of the truck. She landed hard, her shin having scraped hard against the tailgate during her fall. She hissed and grimaced, turning and pulling her knee to her chest. She tossed a glare up at the figure that now sat on the edge of the tailgate. “She’s fine.” He told someone over her shoulder and she heard a door shut. She hadn’t even heard George open his door or speak.

  “I really wish you would stop sneaking up on me.” She told him, lifting her pants leg and examining the extent of the damage under the moonlight. He watched her for a moment.

  “I find it interesting, surprising you.” He told her and she lowered her leg. He stood and moved behind her and over her makeshift bed, lowering himself to the bed of the truck, leaning back against the cab.

  “One day I will end up hitting you.” She warned him, scooting back on her hands to seat herself next to him comfortably. “And I don’t want any ramifications whenever that happens.”

  He smirked at her and she felt her pulse pick up. Damn him. Why did he have to affect her like he did, like he always had? “Until then I will just keep enjoying watching you stumble over yourself.” He told her and she laughed lightly. Things were quiet for a moment while he studied her. She looked at her twisted fingers in her lap until he turned his eyes from her. She knew when he did; she could feel it. She knew every time whenever his eyes were on her. It was part of their shared connection. She was no fool…she knew it was there, and she never denied it. He was the one that always did.

  “I don’t want to talk.” She admitted and he chuckled at her reluctance at having their much needed conversation.

  “After your little stunt tonight and how I acted, we do need to talk.” He told her, turning from her and sighing. “We need to reach an understanding, and we didn’t tonight. I had to drag you to the truck.” He paused and bit his bottom lip. “I hurt you and I never thought I would do that…would be forced to do that.”

  She turned and looked at him finally, allowing her senses to take in everything about their shared moment. He sat with his knees brought up at an angle, his elbows rested against them. His jacket lay on the bed of the truck beside him and his dirty brown t-shirt clung to his body and stretched tight against the muscles in his shoulders, arms. He was tense. She felt the usual pull to him that she had always felt grip at her desperately, clawing its way into her mind, no matter how she tried to force it away. He looked up at the sky from under his lashes, his deep brown eyes asking the heavens a million questions that would never be answered. Amber watched in surprise at how the moon illuminated his already very domineering presence. She felt her breath catch at the sight, and she wondered how she had not seen how absolutely beautiful he was before. He was rugged, rough around the edges, and all man…but right then, everything about him was strikingly beautiful.

  “I am so, so sorry.” She breathed on a whisper, and he turned his attention to her, hearing the passion with which the words were said. They stared at one another for a long moment before she cleared her throat and looked away. He sighed.

  “What are you sorry for? I was the one that acted like a total ass.” He told her and she scrambled for a coherent thought.

  “I’m apologizing for earlier today. For lashing out at you like I did.” He tensed beside her and turned his attention to his hands, where he was attempting to clean his fingernails. He didn’t want to discuss earlier, and that was fine with her. She just needed him to accept her apology. They could talk about it later, or never. She hoped for the first option. “You didn’t deserve it and I’m sorry. I was wrong.”

  This caught his attention, and he jerked his head to her, curiosity written all over his face. “Wrong? About what?” he asked and she turned to him, offering him a sad smile. His eyes caught hers and she felt everything inside of her warm. She wanted to touch him…to know what it would feel like to brush her fingertips across his face…she quickly shook the thought from her mind.

  “You aren’t a bitter and hateful man.” She told him, breaking eye contact. She suddenly felt her nerves jitter. “You are the same man you always have been.” And it was true. Watching him help her, save her, and then risk his life for the little boy regardless of the pain that was sure to follow his salvation…well, that was the compassionate and caring man she had always known. He was a little more stubborn, a little more resilient but who wasn’t? He remained the same and she wanted to pull him close and offer him the reprieve he very much needed.

  He smiled warmly at her before glancing up at the moon. “Well, I was wrong too. You are a far cry from the selfish and heartless woman I said you were. Not that it mattered any; I would still have cared about you whether you were or not.”

  She laughed and felt a blush crawl up her neck, reaching her cheeks and she hoped he couldn’t see her reaction in the darkness. Of course he cared about her; she was his friend. “I meant everything I said.” She told him before she could stop herself. He turned his brown eyes to her and studied her, gauging her reaction to her own words. She knew he would find surprise and sincerity there, but whether he accepted it or not was a completely different story.

  “You were angry and…” he began but she interrupted him. She didn’t want to hear his reasoning for not wanting to discuss it or believe her. She was better off not knowing right then. Ignorance was bliss, and if his lack of trust in her words were from something she had done she would rather have not heard it.

  “You don’t want to talk about it or believe it or whatever…” she told him turning to glance up at the midnight sky. Her heart hammered in her chest. “I just needed you to know now, because one day you are going to believe it.” She smiled to herself. “And when you do it is going to completely change your world.” It was teasing, her little banter and yet he didn’t smile. She could feel it, his intense expression as he watched her studying the stars. You already have…a small voice urged her in the back of her mind and she quickly shooed it away, focusing her attention once again on the illuminated sky above them.

  “So Elliot, huh?” he asked, effectively dropping the subject and addressing yet another one of their topics of discussion. Amber’s heart broke at the mention of the boy’s name. Miles winced as well, knowing what damage his words had caused.

  “That’s his name.” she responded, thoughtful. She tried forming the words that needed to be said and they all came up flat. She turned to him, catching his gaze and holding it. She hoped he could see and feel the sincerity of her next words. “Thank you, Miles.” She told him softly, the words like velvet flowing from her lips. He stared at her, at a loss for words. “Thank you for his life and for yours. I was terrified.” She told him and he swallowed thickly. She stretched her legs before her and rested her hands in her lap as she tilted her head back and studied the sky once again. Miles copied her and they both remained silent for a moment until Miles finally found the words he needed to say to her.

  “What I said tonight…I am sorry. I was upset with everything and everyone and I took it out on you.” He admitted, his voice thick with
unshed emotion. “Amber, I…” he began, unsure of what to say. She finally looked at him as the wind picked up again, blowing her hair wildly about her face. She saw torment in his brown eyes, and she longed to take it away, as he always had hers. She couldn’t however; she barely managed her own. He groaned and lowered his head, rubbing his hands across his face. It was then Amber noted the pain reflecting in his eyes. The shine of the moon illuminated them making them appear both brighter and darker at once and she shivered from the realization.

  “Why are you so sad?” she asked of him and he offered her a soft smile. Sure, she was changing the subject, but she was alright with that. She knew he hadn’t intended to harm her with what he had said earlier…hell, hadn’t she done the same to him only a few hours earlier? And still, she yearned to understand and know the depth of the depression that permeated his eyes, reflecting onto his soul. She wished to ease it away, if only he would let her.

  “That is the same as asking me where I disappeared to.” He told her and she understood. She nodded, fully understanding what he had meant. He didn’t want to talk about where he had gone when he left, or what had happened during that time; she knew what he had lost. She only hoped that one day he would. She sighed, seeing the exhaustion resting in his eyes. He needed sleep, and she wondered how much he had actually gotten lately. Judging by the heavy bags and dark circles around his eyes, it couldn’t have been much and if he had slept any it was probably fitful and nightmarish. He needed a break.

  “Let’s lay down. You need some rest. I’ll stay up and keep watch.” She told him and she moved before he could protest. They both maneuvered around the bags in the back, situating them before lying back beside one another, just as she had done with Shelly. She didn’t question his melancholy, or anything, anymore; instead she lay there in the silence beside him, waiting for him to speak again or to hear his heavy breathing that let her know he was asleep. She wanted to hear his voice as she marveled at the night sky. It was comforting, his presence beside her, and she inhaled deeply, stifling a yawn. She nearly jumped from her skin when his finger circled her wrist, urging her hand from its resting place on her lap. She didn’t turn to him; instead she let him pull her hand until it rested between the two of them. There, he slid his fingers slowly into the palm of her hand and she couldn’t stop the small bumps that formed on her arms and the back of her neck form the chills that went down her spine. His fingers interlocked with hers, his fingertips pressing lightly against her knuckles, and yet they never once made eye contact or spoke. They stayed this way, staring into the night sky, their thoughts running wild for several minutes. Sleep was calling upon them and she heard Miles shift slightly where he laid, his shoulder brushing against hers.