Endgame (Book 1)

by W. A. R.

  “That’s different.” He told her and she gazed up at him curiously, feeling the fire in her veins reach higher.

  “How?” she asked and he shrugged, dropping his other hand from her arm and shoving both hands into his pockets.

  “I care about you.” He said and she crossed her arms, wincing at the movement. The wound on her hip had cut her pretty deep. He caught this and twisted his leg to face away from her. He looked away, chewing at the inside of his cheek.

  “I care about him.” She responded and he groaned, running and hand over his face. She couldn’t hide the small smile that came as a result of his exasperation. “So it is no different at all.” She told him and he looked away from her again. She knew then that the entire situation had weighed heavily on his mind since it had happened. She mentally kicked herself. How could she have doubted him? How could she have thought that he had forgotten their heated discussion? Their admissions? She glanced down at her hands as she brought them across her shirt, smoothing it down in a nervous habit. “Look, I know that he went about it the wrong way. I know that and I am angry about it. It’s just…I proved a point to him…to my children…and to myself today. I am stronger than I give myself credit for…emotionally and physically. He helped me…remember…that today.”

  He stepped away from her, almost as if he were disappointed. “He still shouldn’t have pulled a knife on you.” He told her and she nodded, knowing that he was right in that statement. “He deserves…retribution.” He told her gently, choosing his words wisely. She sighed, her thoughts dipping into a familiar train of thought. She had shown that anger didn’t have to win, and she mentally groaned at having to prove that point yet again.

  “An eye for an eye will only make the world go blind.” She told him softly and he cast his eyes back to her. Things were silent as they watched one another. She couldn’t deny the small thrill that ran through her veins as his eyes skimmed over her. Again, she reached up and pulled a stray strand of wet hair behind her ear and from her face.

  “You don’t belong here.” His voice was firm and for a moment she was confused by his words. She shifted on her feet as her mind tossed them around, trying to find their meaning. She simply wasn’t sure how to take them. Was he trying to offend her? Because that was exactly how they had sounded. As if sensing her unease, he cleared his throat. “I meant in this world the way it is. You….you are too good for it.” He stammered, shoving his hands into his pockets. Despite her reservations, she laughed lightly at his compliment, feeling her heart lighten a little.

  “Thank you.” She told him before glancing at the back door and the scanning the surrounding fence. She could hear Katie on the other side of the house as she walked in the midst of cries and moans. Silence reined once more and she could tell he had something on his mind, but he wasn’t sure how to address it. The thought made her nervous, anxious until he finally spoke.

  “What else are you upset about?” he asked of her and she sighed, shifting her filthy clothes against her side. His eyes were full of sorrow and curiosity; concern and interest. “I know there was more to it that just the incident with Buddy.” He waited as she thought of what to say, of how to explain to him everything that worried her. She was suddenly so very grateful for him, for his presence then. She was grateful for his friendship and his attempt at understanding.

  “It was nothing…” she began but she stopped when she witnessed a burning intensity flash across his eyes in the pale moonlight. She swallowed, unable to take her eyes from him.

  “It didn’t seem like nothing.” He told her and then she lowered her gaze to the ground, unable to face the scrutiny that he was putting her under. Slowly, he exhaled. “It’s the Biters, isn’t it?” he asked and she snapped her eyes to his and she noticed how tired he seemed, how unsure and pain filled his features were. She understood then that he felt the same as she did; he felt guilty and skeptical of the monstrosities and the people behind their creation.

  “Yes.” She replied simply, gulping and glancing once again at the back door, ensuring no one was listening in on their conversation “They were almost…”

  “Human.” He filled in for her and she nodded vaguely. He shifted on the balls of his feet, glancing at his boot covered toes before turning his focus and attention back to her. She rubbed her elbow absently, yet another nervous habit of hers.

  “I…I know we did what needed to be done but…I just…I can’t help but wonder if they felt like we do.” She hesitated, adjusting her clothes anxiously against her side. “What are those people trying to do by creating…them?” she asked and he studied her. She felt his saddened expression lower and she knew he was attempting to find some words to comfort her. She turned from him, watching the grey arms that reached through the chain link fence.

  “I’m not sure. It bothers me too.” He told her and she sighed in defeat, knowing that she would be getting no answers…not that he had any. “We won’t know…not now at least. All we can do is accept it and move past it.” He paused and reached forward, gently gripping her tender jaw between his fingers. He turned her face to his, stepping closer to her, but his eyes never left hers. She shivered involuntarily. He furrowed his eyebrows in curiosity and concern. “Can you do that for me?” he asked of her and slowly she nodded. She could try to accept it, at least until the situation was thrown in her face once again. If it were brought up again.

  “Thank you for listening…and talking to me.” She told him softly, and he smiled warmly at her, the sincerity of it meeting his eyes. He slowly stepped closer, releasing his hold on her chin and lowering his hand. His fingers skimmed her arm and she shivered, retreating a step before remembering she was against the side of the house.

  “Anytime.” He replied, his voice rough. She watched as he leaned forward, bringing his lips to her face. Her heart began hammering against her chest so loudly she was certain that he could hear it. Her body felt as if it were on fire as he gently gripped her arm, keeping her still as he pressed his warm lips against her cheek. She closed her eyes and willed herself to breathe evenly. He certainly had no idea how he affected her. Her flushed skin tingled where his lips had been as he pulled away from her and grinned. She couldn’t find any words to say to him, but she realized that she didn’t need any. “Go get some rest. Katie and I will be in later.” And with that he stepped from her reluctantly, dropping his hand from her arm, his fingers brushing against her skin as he did so. She stood there, leaning against the house as her feet willed her to remain still until her racing heart returned to normal, and she watched him leave, covered in the shroud of darkness. Sighing, she lowered her head. He was right and she needed to move past it all if she was to become stronger; and for the sake of her children, she had no choice.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  One week later…

  Everyone stood in the living room, tension gripping the air. It had been two weeks since Buddy and the rest of his group had arrived, and a week since his battle with Amber. They had all decided to follow through with their plan, and had spent the better part of the week gathering whatever weapons, food, and any other necessities they may need that they could spare and had taken them to the truck. They had readied the red Dodge with these weapons and a few provisions and had driven it out of the gate, parking it along the back road that led to their previous home. The decision to leave some weapons and provisions at the house and secure the house itself was unanimous, which led them to their current situation. The majority of them stood in the living room, watching as Buddy and Amber readied their packs of provisions.

  “Be logical about this.” Buddy heard Brian say to them, but he let it roll off of his back. He was making himself useful, and in fact, he needed a little thrill to pacify his thirst for adrenaline and a different scene. Buddy decided that he thrived off of the rush, although he never considered himself to be reckless. It gave him a realistic edge instead of living in some dream world where nothing could go wrong. He had been there and it had ru
efully bit him in the ass, and he refused to go there again, even though he still gathered small glimpses of it every now and again. Besides, he thought, he was certain that they were still upset about what had happened.

  “We are being logical Brian.” Amber tossed back the reply over her shoulder at her brother. Buddy watched this from the corner of his eye as he shoved only a few liter jugs of water into his mostly empty bag. The bruise that darkened her jaw was slowly fading away, as was the hard glint that had been in her eyes since it happened. When the suggestion to ready the old house place was brought up, he had leapt at the chance to get out, as he was getting stir crazy. In truth, he had even expected Brian, Miles, or George to go with him, which they readily volunteered until they were contradicted by the tepid woman to his right. Her long blonde hair swung in its ponytail as she turned to face the men and women before them. The couch brushed against the backs of her knees as she stood, shrugging the bag onto her shoulders. “It makes better sense than any of you going.”

  “How?” he asked of her, and Buddy zipped his bag after throwing in a few cans of perishables before turning to face them as well. He pulled one strap of the bag over his shoulder and looked sideways down at Amber, who stood only about a few inches shorter than he. He knew they were going to argue against her going; that they were going to give them a difficult time by their refusal. He couldn’t blame them, though. He had hurt her and honestly, he was surprised that she had volunteered to go on this trip with him, and that Brian and Miles were even considering it.

  “Because one of us,” she began, addressing the original three that had fought to make the house their home, “should go to ensure he knows where it is exactly they will be going. We know where the well is and how everything is supposed to be functioning. We know where to put everything so it isn’t in plain sight. And that person has to be me in case something happens here. Shelly should remain here,” she said vaguely eyeing both Shelly and Brian, who tensed at the mention of her name, “and the rest of you are strong enough to handle something if it happens. We can only spare two people, and no more. I am more expendable. Buddy is good at what he does; you have seen him.” She said, motioning to him. She was referring to their experiences in the woods killing Biters; he was indeed good with a knife. It was something he prided himself on, among countless other things. He instinctively reached for the knife on his hip, the handle solid and warm from recent use. But the moment those words left her mouth, he could see the anger return to the men before them. They were remembering how good he was with a knife and the fact that he had used those skills on Amber, the woman defending him. She must have noticed it a well as she lifted her chin in determination. “Today, you are all more valuable here, while we are more valuable out there. It is as simple as that.”

  Miles stepped forward, eyeing the woman before him. Buddy rolled his eyes. It was obvious, Miles’s feelings for the woman before him and he wasn’t surprised that he was arguing with her about what the right thing to do was. He knew she was right; he simply didn’t want to admit it and let her go off with Buddy alone. “I can go just as well as you can.” He told her and she shook her head at him, her resolve never faltering.

  “You don’t even know exactly where the old house place is. And neither does George, so don’t even think of trying.” She said, turning to stare sternly at the man that had begun to interrupt her. “And no, Dad shouldn’t go either.” George sighed and she looked up at Buddy briefly, her blue eyes vivid and unwavering. It was the first time in a week that she had even looked at him willingly without him addressing her first and she was asking for his input, his assistance. He read into what she was trying to say and looked around at them all with obvious frustration; not with the others, really, but more with himself.

  “Look, it needs to be done and like she said you should all stay here. We would feel a lot better if you did. It should be left at that.” He said to them all before shrugging. He didn’t miss the heated glares thrown at him from around the room. “We won’t be gone but a few hours as it is. Give us a break. We can cover each other.” He told them before shrugging on the other strap of his bag and grabbing Amber’s arm, shoving through the crowd of people and pulling her with him. She let him lead the way, and again he was surprised with her compliance and briefly he wondered what she was up to. Once they were through the maze of bodies around them, they stopped, noticing that Cassie and Kyle stood against the door while the other kids sat on the steps that led up to the second story. Buddy released her and Amber grinned at them, stepping forward.

  “Be careful.” Cassie told her mother on a smile, receiving a kiss on the forehead in response. Buddy had watched the three of them the past few weeks, and it made him envious. He had never had a mother…or a father for that matter; and here, in the wake of an apocalypse these two children had a mother willing to risk her life for the sake of their well-being and Buddy knew that that reason alone was why Amber was going with him to secure the house. She needed to know, be assured, that if anything ever happened to her, they would be alright, that they could make it. She trusted their lives better at the hands of all of the people behind her more than she did alone. Buddy respected her for this, and he wished that the others could see that and understand why she was so adamant about going. Then again, his lack of such female figures in his life allowed him to notice these features in others. He sighed, watching as Amber pulled her daughter close to her and embrace her tightly.

  Buddy was very observant, and he could pick up on personal and social cues in an instant. He had been a loner when he was younger, jumping from foster home to foster home and school to school, but he was intelligent. However, his intelligence didn’t assuage the loneliness and the pain of abandonment and change he felt and so…he became bitter. He had watched causes and reactions of the people around him, making it a game within his own mind what the person would do or say next. As he grew older, he gained some like friends and so his life went. It was simple, uncomplicated; at least, it was until the outbreak started. Now, he was trying to determine who he was in the mix of things, all the while surrounded by people he didn’t really know. But, in his mind, the outbreak had only served to make him more observant, considering his life was on the line every single day. An example of this is that he knew Shelly was distant by her actions alone, as it had yet to be confirmed; he could sense the tension between Brian and Shelly.

  “Can I come with you?” Kyle asked excitedly as Cassie walked over to the stairs where the others rested, a small smile on her face. Amber gently shook her head, smiling at him before tousling his hair with her fingers. He grimaced and pulled away from her angrily. “Fine. Whatever.” He grumbled marching past the two of them. Amber sighed, placing her hand on the doorjamb. Buddy was dumbstruck, noting that it was the first time the boy had appeared hostile by any means. He was surprised by the child’s reaction, and even more so that Amber merely watched him walk away, tenderness in her eyes. He gulped, remembering his actions and how he had treated their mother in front of them. He understood then that the boy was being protective of his mother, and yet, he didn’t question her judgment.

  “I love you guys.” She called back over her shoulder, and Buddy knew she was also addressing Elliot. With that, she opened the door, letting sunlight wash over the two of them. She hurried out the door before anyone else could voice their objections and Buddy followed dutifully behind. She glanced over her shoulder, witnessing him follow her and the worried gazes of her family watching from the door. He nodded at her and she returned the gesture, turning and leading the way to the gate and towards the truck, Buddy walking in tandem with her.

  The walk to the truck was a relatively short one, with Buddy taking the initiative to take out all of the five Biters that they came across. He needed to action to ease his battered mind, to forget the guilt that ate at him as they walked. They had been quiet, the only sound was that of their footsteps along the asphalt. He noticed how Amber drug her feet slightly, the scraping
sound of her boot sliding against tar and rock beginning to grate on his nerves. She had something on her mind, but he figured that judging by the look on her face as she examined their surroundings, she wasn’t going to talk about it. He wished she would however, even if not to him; he simply wanted the dragging of her feet to stop. He then mentally kicked himself and turned to face her as the truck came into view. He couldn’t take his pent up frustrations of his own neuroses out on her; she certainly wasn’t taking hers out on him. Besides, he had an idea some of what was on her mind. He gathered there were things he didn’t know, and probably never would, but he did know that without a doubt she was thinking about him and how to handle the day that lay before them. Then again, he questioned, why would she have volunteered to come with him?

  “So, um…how about…” he paused, uncertain. He was never any good at making small talk and he felt embarrassed that he had tried and failed. She looked up at him smiling, acknowledging his effort at conversation and he was surprised at her reaction. It made him slightly nervous, and it threw him off guard. She turned away and he heard her feet begin to pick up more so. Good, he thought, her mind was effectively off of whatever it was that had been bothering her. He couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly, as there was so much that she possibly could have been thinking and he suspected that the inability to exactify her problem bothered him more than her dragging feet did. This had happened with Derek, Miles, and even Brian and the only reason that seems to quell his thirst for knowing was that they were overwhelmed. He had accepted long ago the possibility of his having a slight developmental disorder; not cripplingly so, but maybe a touch of some kind of undiagnosed personality disorder. Yeah, sure…that seemed to fit somewhat. He could accept that. He looked back at Amber as they split at the truck bed and neared the doors. She looked at him questioningly and he realized that she had spoken.