by Robin Roseau
She turned away, and I could tell she was troubled. But then she said, "Your house is an embassy? Because you are the envoy?"
"My house is not the embassy. The land surrounding the embassy building is part of the embassy. It is not the house, it is the house and the land it sits on."
"The land is Talmon."
"Talmon sold the land to The Empire."
"If Talmon sells me land, it is still Talmon land. If Talmon sells land to The Empire, it is still Talmon land." She paused, then smiled. "Is there a registration where you can show me this is Centos Four?"
"It is not Centos Four. But it is The Empire."
She shook her head. "I do not think so. If we took you from the embassy building, then maybe you are correct, maybe you are not. But we took you from your home. If you are able to show me a registration declaring your home part of The Empire but not part of Talmon, then I have broken the law. But I do not believe you can do that."
"Not from here!"
"We have your tablet. You said you could learn anything on it. Can you show me on your tablet. If you can, then I will take you wherever you wish to go, and pay you as an apology."
I looked down. I could show her anything, written in English, and declare it the proof she wanted. She wouldn't know better. "No, there is nothing like that on my tablet."
"If we write to your friends, and ask them to send proof I took you from land that is empire, but not Talmon, will they send proof?"
"I don't know."
"I do not wish to be a criminal," she said. "I do not even wish you to believe me a criminal, even if technically I am not. We must resolve this."
"It might be a grey area," I admitted. I had to explain what that meant.
"So you have lost your resolve on this point?"
"Not entirely."
"You are no longer convinced I am a criminal."
"Oh, I know you are definitely a criminal."
"Tell me."
"You took me. I am not a member of Baardorid's clan. You yourself said you couldn't take someone of Fessen. You can only take someone of Sudden."
"I did not say that. The law on this is very, very clear. Within the agreement with Baardorid, I may take anyone who calls him Vendart. I could not take Chaladine, as we agreed. I could not take anyone in an existing relationship, as that would be cruel. I even took great care to be sure you were not in the beginnings of a relationship and that you cared for me. I could not have been more sure of who I took."
"Except I am not of his clan! He hasn't the right to offer me to you. I am not even Talmonese."
"Legally, he does have the right."
"No! He does not!"
"Yes. Twice in my hearing you called him Vendart. Twice in one day! And you did not struggle with the word, so I know you have called him that before. And so I could take you."
I stared at her, then turned away.
"Cecilia, if you convince me I took you from land that is empire but not Talmon, I will return you with the deepest of apologies and any payment you require. But I believe you are not sure of your own argument."
We had no gate at the embassy, no fence, no surrounding wall. It wasn't even an official embassy or even a consulate, and there was no formal agreement with any authority on Talmon beyond a simple purchase, land for tools. I didn't have the official papers an ambassador would present to a head of state.
I didn't have a legal leg to stand on.
"If you took me legally by Talmonese law," I said quietly, "it may have been legal."
I didn't need to look at her to know she was smiling, but I looked up anyway.
Yes, she was smiling.
"You are pleased to have won a point."
"I am pleased you allow me to win graciously," she replied.
I looked away, suddenly, deeply wishing the situation were different. I could have fallen for her, I could have fallen hard.
"Why does that trouble you?" she reached over and turned me back to face her. "You are not upset to lose this point, but you are upset I am pleased by your show of grace and honesty?"
"I wish we had gotten to know each other a little better, and I wish you had simply asked me, Sartine!"
"Cecilia, I thought I had."
"What?" I screeched. "You are mad!"
"You are the one who sounds mad."
"Um. A poor translation," I said. "My mistake. In English, we can say the word that means mad, and it can mean what it means here, but it can also mean crazy."
"Oh. Will you allow me to explain before you grow more angry?"
"This should be good."
She smiled again. "It will be." She perhaps couldn't detect my sarcasm. "Let me highlight the points. You knew my mission, that I was there to arrange a galatzi trade." She ticked off a finger. "You knew what it was, although perhaps not perfectly. Chaladine was explaining it to you, and that is what drew my attention. But I know she told you more, and I also told you more."
"Yes, I knew what you were there for, and while I didn't understand the details, I understood enough. But-"
She waved a finger at me. "No, no. You may agree with my points or tell me when I am wrong, but you must not jump ahead."
"Fine."
"You knew I wanted Chaladine."
"Yes, although not why. And I did not know you were vendart. I thought you wanted her for Hilopid."
"Hilopid wanted her for Hilopid, but he could not handle someone with her fire, and certainly not with yours. I wanted her for me."
"I understand that now. Yes, I knew you wanted her, and I knew you were disappointed you couldn't have her."
"You knew Hilopid did not want Margotain."
I thought about it and nodded.
"And you knew Rordano did not want Mordain, and would not want to be taken for Mordain."
"How do you know that?"
"Am I wrong?"
"No, but I want to know how you knew."
She paused. "You will grow angry."
"Tell me anyway."
"They told me."
"What?" I screamed, in English. "They sold me to you!"
"No, no," she said. "First, it is not a sale. And second, they told me about you, but I asked about a great many people. I asked about the girl Hilopid fancied, and the two boys that caught Mordain's eye. I also asked about other women closer to our age."
I smiled briefly at that, as she and I weren't remotely the same age. She noticed my expression but didn't ask.
"They knew I was curious about you, but I could have been curious for many reasons."
I took several breaths. "They should have warned me."
"We will arrive at that," she said. "You knew I was disappointed I couldn't take Chaladine. You knew that was the sticking point of our entire meeting." She ticked off more fingers, but I think she had gotten lost on her fingers by now. That didn't matter. "You knew I entirely changed my mind after learning who you were." She smiled. "And hearing you call Baardorid 'Vendart'."
"I did not realize the two issues were related."
"Everyone else did, especially when my agreement required the dance party and that you be there."
I thought back. "You spoke that too quickly for me to understand. I only understood that you changed your mind, and that you both came to an agreement."
She nodded. "All right, but this isn't about whether you understood I was asking you; it is about why I thought I had."
"All right."
"You agreed to come to the party. You understood I wanted you there."
"I am from a different planet, Sartine. Do you think perhaps that would be an equally good, perhaps far better reason to want to meet me? You asked me to bring my tablet."
"That is fair, but if you had considered the implications, you could realize there was more than one reason to desire your presence. But this is only one part of a much greater whole, and a small part at that."
I turned away again.
"Now why are you upset?" she asked. "I said nothing tha
t should have upset you."
"You didn't," I said. "It was my own thought, and I am ragged enough, my diplomatic skills are weak."
She turned me back to her. "I will not hurt you. I even let you hurt me without hurting you in return."
"Ah, but you deserve it," I said.
"Perhaps you will change your mind," she said, apparently not upset I thought she deserved the treatment I'd given her.
"Go on," I said. "I do not believe you are done telling me how you asked me if I agreed to this."
"You gave me your entire evening. You had promised a dance to Margotain, but you gave your time to me instead."
"It was not a promise so much as an agreement, if the opportunity arose," I said. "But yes, I gave you the evening. You know why."
"You find me alluring."
"I did."
"You still do."
I looked away, unwilling to admit it out loud. And then she began laughing.
"It's not funny!"
"It certainly is. Now I know why you keep growing upset. You are losing this argument, and you hate it."
"Shut up."
"Furthermore, I'm right. You find me alluring."
"Shut up," I repeated. "You are being ungracious."
She grew still. "I am?" she asked.
I turned back. "No. I was."
She held up her hand and ticked a random finger. "That's the wrong finger," I said. "You're onto your toes by now."
She laughed. "You find me alluring. You desired me. I believe you still do. I desire you. We were both very clear in our kisses."
I sighed. "Yes."
"We talked more about galatzi. I made sure you understood, as best I could, and I also know that Chaladine told you more."
"She did."
"I also know she offered herself as galatzi to you."
I stared. "She told you that?"
She nodded. "Why didn't you accept? She is lovely and kind. I know you are fond of her, and she is at least half in love with you. She was heartbroken we took you. I believe she thought she could convince you to want her."
"She has been a friend," I said. "I didn't think of her that way. I think of my job here first, and becoming entangled with the vendart's daughter would not help my mission. I could dally with you, but not with her. So I thought of her as a friend."
And if Chaladine could have talked me into wanting her, well, I wasn't going to tell Sartine that.
"I also know that Baardorid offered any of his children to you."
"His other two are far too young for me, and so only Chaladine's offer was valid to me."
"Yes, but now you had the offer from two different directions. Do you know why they made the offer when they did."
"I thought Chaladine was trying to protect herself from you, but she said she was already protected."
"She was. She was trying to protect someone, but it wasn't herself."
I hung my head. That should have been obvious to me, too.
"Do you have more reasons?"
"Yes," she said. "We spent the time together. We became such friends. We shared secrets. But the entire time, I made sure you remembered my mission, and you even asked more questions about it. I stressed it was anyone who called Baardorid 'vendart'. I made sure you knew that. And then I asked you to show me where you lived."
"You were casing the joint!"
"I do not know this phrase." So I explained it. "Yes," she agreed. "I was casing the joint, as you say."
"Are we done?"
"Just one more thing. You expressed a desire for more kisses. I suggested I thought there would be more."
I hung my head. "That's why you were so surprised when I asked why you were there. I should have understood long before then."
"You understand now. I thought I asked you, Cecilia. I thought you said 'yes'."
"For a diplomat, I am hopelessly naïve," I said. "I believe this is my last job in this role."
"You will help me run Indartha."
I didn't explain.
"Sartine," I said, "I understand why you thought you had asked. I understand why you thought I agreed. But I didn't. Now that we understand, you must return me, and I will forgive you for an honest mistake."
"Will you answer some questions honestly?"
"If I answer, I will do so honestly."
"Do you still believe I am a criminal?"
I sighed. "No."
"Do you believe I took you immorally?"
"No, but-"
She reached out and pressed fingers to my lips.
We sat quietly, and she released my lips. "I understand now why you were surprised when I asked what you were doing at my home so late."
"Yes," she said. "It was about the last question I expected."
"What did you mean about my sturdy house?"
"We couldn't find a way in. We couldn't even break a window."
"That's what woke me!"
"It would have been a much shorter fight if you had left a window open for me. It would have been better for everyone."
I laughed at her joke. "Now you know why I fought so hard."
"Yes. Now you know why I was so surprised you fought at all." She reached forward and squeezed my hand. "I have one more question, and then I will respond to your request." I nodded. "If I had asked more clearly, would you have accepted?"
I looked away then said quietly, "You understand this custom is quite barbaric to me."
"Is barbaric the right word?"
"If it means what I think it means," I said.
"Is it barbaric if I had asked you, and you had agreed?"
"And did Mordain also agree?"
"She volunteered, although I think perhaps the reality caught up to her when she realized I would have to leave her. But she understands the necessity, and she will be happy. So yes, she agreed, although not the same way you would have. Is it barbaric if you have both agreed?"
"No," I said in a small voice. "It is unusual, especially some of the ceremony."
"The way we tied you."
"Yes," I said.
"So if I had taken the time to convince you it was not barbaric, and then asked?"
"I would not have instantly said 'no'. I would have expressed concern for my official duties. And I am very concerned because you call this permanent."
"It is permanent. I do not just call it permanent."
"I am concerned for two reasons. First, we barely know each other, but I know myself. I am very, very difficult to live with. I will not fully explain, but I am convinced you will grow weary of me. You can deny it, but I am convinced of it, and you will not change my mind. Let us not argue the point. It may take you a long time, years. Five years, ten years. Or it may be before we would reach Indartha. But you will grow weary. And then what?"
"What if you are wrong?"
"If this is permanent, then what if I am right? That is my first concern."
"Is it that you believe I will grow weary of you, or you will grow weary of me? Or of Indartha."
"I am concerned about those as well, but I am stating myself carefully. You will grow weary of me. I promise it."
"Do not promise that. Take that promise back, and we will discuss your concern."
"Fine," I said. "I am convinced of it. Not a promise."
"But you admit you could be wrong."
"I am convinced of it. That is sufficient cause for me to be weary of an agreement that I agree will be permanent. Maybe it would be a very long time, but I do not believe it would be permanent."
"You said there were two reasons. What is the second?"
"If you keep me a prisoner in Indartha, I will die many, many, many years sooner than I should."
She stared. "Your headaches."
"No, although they are also something that require attention I can't get here. I do not wish to discuss that with you. Other reasons."
"Imperial medicine."
"If you think my tablet is magic, you have seen nothing yet, Sartine. Yes. Imper
ial medicine."
"How often do you need to return to Centos Four?"
"It does not need to be Centos Four. If Talmon joined The Empire, I might even be able to get the attention I require while living here, although probably not in a remote location like Indartha. Normally, every five to ten years."
"Five to ten years?" she asked. "Are you sure you use the right word? Not months?"
"Years. Winter to the next winter is one year."
"And your headaches?"
"An annoyance that will probably require a trip away from Talmon in the next year or two, sooner if they become uncontrollable, but I do not believe the headaches will kill me. I would like them resolved. It is important, but not urgent."
"The doctors can fix your headaches?"
"Yes. And almost anything else that is wrong."
She nodded. "I believe I understand. Cecilia, our usual relationships are not permanent. Sometimes they are, but oftentimes they are not. They have an agreed start and end, perhaps a few days, a few months. Perhaps until a child is born. Do you see?"
I nodded.
"I know this is not like what they do in The Empire."
"How do you know this?"
She smiled. "I was not the only person who talked to a person of The Empire all night at the party. Everyone from your embassy was there, and I had a great many cousins learning everything they could."
"You little sneak."
She laughed.
"No one said a thing to me about it."
"We weren't obvious," she said. "Do you see the care I have taken?"
"Permanency," I said.
"All right. A galatzi relationship is called permanent because all parties go into it with that intention. But if it stops working, it stops working. If I grow weary with you, or you with me, and we cannot keep love, then we would part."
"And the trade agreement-"
"Is not a significant concern," she finished.
"And my medical trips?"
"Another question I must ask. If I had invited a galatzi trade for you, and convinced you to accept, but then you had an opportunity to leave me, would you leave?"
"If I had accepted? Only if we had grown weary."
"So you could take your medical trips and then return to me."
"I would ask you to come with," I said. "I would ask you to see imperial doctors with me."