by Robin Roseau
Then I closed my eyes. "If you wish me to remain your galatzi prisoner, then treat me like one."
And with that, she gave a strangled cry, but she pulled my head down, almost rudely, and then our mouths met.
It was at first rougher than I liked, but then she softened, and when her tongue flicked at me, I parted for her.
She filled my mouth, and I moaned, reaching for her, but allowing her to control everything. I clutched at her and didn't remotely try to take control of the kiss. I let her have what she wanted, although I teased her tongue with mine, and when she withdrew, I followed, finding her mouth parted, an invitation I accepted. And I slipped in, but tentatively, a little shyly, and I greeted her tongue, and I teased her teeth a little.
And I moaned, I moaned with pleasure and need.
And then I withdrew, but my lips remained parted, and I hoped she would invade again.
But instead, she broke the kiss, but she held me that way, then leaned our foreheads together. I opened my eyes to find hers just centimeters away.
"Thank you," I whispered. "I wanted that kiss so desperately, and I desperately want more, Vendart."
She offered another strangled cry, and then she pushed away and began to flee.
"Please, Sartine!" I called out. "At least tell me if it was horrible."
She froze in the doorway. "It was the best kiss I have ever had."
And then she meant to slam the door, but I said, "Wait! Please."
She stopped.
"Mine, too," I said.
She spun around. "It wasn't. You have kissed hundreds."
"I have never had a kiss mean so much to me. Never."
"Diplomat."
"Horrible diplomat," I said. "Far too honest. I have never lied to you, and I am not starting now."
She turned away. "I-" She turned back. "I do not know if I will be back today. Do you promise to remain in this room if I send someone else with your dinner?"
"You are going to lock me in, even if I promise."
"Yes."
"I will make no effort to escape, but please arrange for trips down the hall."
"I will try." She turned away and closed the door. I hurried to it, and I heard it lock.
But then I heard her voice. "Are you listening?" She must have her voice right to the edge of the door.
"Yes," I said back.
"I need to treat you as a galatzi prisoner, Cecilia Grace. Now, more than ever."
"I know," I said. "I will try not to resent it. I will not succeed forever."
I didn't hear her move away, and a moment later, I asked, "Are you still there?"
"Yes."
"If you need to see me tied, I will not resist, if you are gentle."
I heard another strangled cry, and then I heard her flee.
I leaned against the door for a long time afterwards.
Indecision
The first of the books was interesting. It talked about Talmon in the early days, perhaps a few decades after settlement. I could read Talmonese, but it was a slow process for me, and I earned a headache for my troubles.
But it was probably good for me, anyway.
She did not come to me at dinner. Instead, she sent Hilopid with a tray of food. I was resting on the bed when the door opened, and I didn't move immediately when he stepped in. I'd been expecting Sartine, and I thought she would come to me and soothe the headache.
"Cecilia Grace," Hilopid said. "Are you awake?"
I scrambled to stand. "Hilopid." I stared at what he carried. "She sent you."
"She told me to remind you that you have made promises." The first time he said it quickly, so I reminded him to speak more slowly for me, and so he repeated it carefully enough I could understand.
"Ah. And she sends someone so ill-equipped to enforce them to see how I respond, perhaps," I replied.
I looked around then moved to the dresser to set the tray down; there wasn't a desk, and so it was the dresser, the bed, or the floor.
He didn't say anything else but headed for the door.
"Hilopid." He stopped to face me. "I see nothing to drink."
"I'm sorry," he said, and he shifted from foot to foot. "She told me to bring you dinner. I should have remembered."
"You are unaccustomed to bringing a meal to someone. If I am to remain locked in with no escape, then I require a pitcher of water and, of course, a glass to drink from. I also require trips to the water closet down the hall, at least four per day with the last one shortly before bedtime and the first early in the morning. If this situation is to persist past another day or so, then I require some means of bathing, even if it is no better than the options presented to me during our travels here."
"My sister didn't say anything to me about any of this."
"Then go talk to her."
"I-" He looked down. At that moment he looked so young, a fifteen-year-old boy caught in the affairs of adults. "She is not in a good mood."
"Would she hurt you?"
"Nooooo," he said slowly. "But she might yell at me. And throw things."
I controlled a smile, barely. I'd been the one throwing immature temper tantrums over the last few weeks. The thought of Sartine doing so amused me greatly.
"Then I suggest you be prepared to duck. Hilopid, I want to ask you a personal question." He looked at me with an unsure expression. I didn't wait for permission to ask. "I expect an honest answer. A man would answer honestly. Do you hope she returns me to Sudden? Do you wish to be rid of me?"
"No!" he blurted. "Um."
"You wish me to stay."
"Yes."
"Will you explain why? I have been in a pain in the ass." By his look, he was surprised and amused by the expression. I smiled. "You do not use that expression in Talmonese, but I believe it amuses you."
He schooled his features, poorly. "I love my sister," he said.
"I am sure you do. I love mine, too. How is that an answer to my question?"
"You have a sister?" I nodded. He shifted back and forth between both feet.
"Just tell me, Hilopid," I said gently.
"Sartine likes you," he said. "You know-"
"Yes, I know what you mean."
"She doesn't like very many people, not that way. You are the third galatzi prisoner she brought to Indartha since she became vendart. The first two times, she came home, and she was so sad afterwards."
"I understand. So, you want me to stay here." He nodded. "Well then, you understand that I am not happy to be locked in like this. Do you blame me?"
"But you are the galatzi prisoner."
"Yes, I am, but do you believe I understood everything that meant when I was taken? And from the way I fought, do you believe I would have been taken at all if I had known I could have been selected? You understand I had no idea your sister intended to try to take me."
He looked down at the floor before nodding.
"Right now, I want to stay here in Indartha with your sister, but I will grow to resent the situation if it remains like this very long. We perhaps cannot do away with the situation entirely, but we can make it somewhat more tolerable, which will slow down how quickly I resent it."
"But-" He shifted back and forth. "So?"
Ah, to be so young, to ask a question so simply.
"Perhaps another galatzi prisoner's desires would not matter, but I am fairly sure your sister would not want to keep me if I decide I will no longer accept being kept. I am even more sure she would not enjoy the experience if she tried it, anyway. And because of who I am, your sister could keep me longer than I might prefer, but if I decide I am leaving, I will eventually leave."
"You can't," he said. "If you force your way past me, you won't get two kilometers, not in the mountains at night."
I sighed. "That is not how I would leave. I would simply wait for The Empire to come and get me."
He flashed a smile of victory. "They can't. The snow will close the passes long before they can come from so far, and then they cou
ld not come until spring. Sartine will make you change your mind long before they could come." Then his smile grew broader. "And they couldn't find you, anyway. No one knows the way through the mountains."
I held back the laughter. He wouldn't appreciate being laughed at.
"Hilopid, The Empire travels between the stars. Do you believe they would let a little snow stop them?"
"It is not a little snow. It is a great deal of snow."
"Hilopid, they will not come through the snow. They will come from the sky. And they can come to me in all but the very, very fiercest weather, and maybe even through the worst storms you have. If The Empire decides to come for me, it might take them a little time to find me, but that means only a few days. And then they will come from the sky, and they will find me. And Hilopid, they will kill anyone who attempts to stop them."
"We would fight them."
"You would all die. Your sister knows this."
"We would-"
"You cannot stand against The Empire. Trust me on this. You cannot. And so the path you must pick is to never stand against them. You can stand with them, or you can stand apart from them. But you can never stand against them." I paused. "If you want me to stay, then you do not want me to grow to resent my situation. The Empire is not going to come today or tomorrow or even next week. But they are going to come, and then if I decide to leave, I will leave."
"Sartine will make you stay."
"Sartine is learning she cannot make me do anything. Hilopid, I am not asking you to leave the door unlocked. I am asking for trips to the water closet. And tomorrow, I will ask for more books. I want water for drinking, and I want to be clean. You will bring to me as much of this as you can, and then you will go to your sister, and you will risk her throwing things at you. This is what a man would do, Hilopid. She has given you responsibility for me, and this is part of that responsibility."
"I'll-" he looked at me hesitatingly, but then he straightened. "You are right. I should have remembered the water, anyway. And then I will go talk to Sartine."
"Thank you, Hilopid."
* * * *
I got my water, but I was fairly desperate by the next time the door opened. It was Hilopid.
"Please tell me I have permission to use the water closet."
"Yes-"
And then I was running past him.
It was embarrassing to have my most basic requirements regulated by a fifteen-year-old boy, but at least for a few minutes, I was lost in the relief. I washed up and stepped back into the hall. He was pacing back and forth but came to a stop, watching me warily.
"Thank you," I said. I turned and walked calmly back to my prison cell, not stopping until I stood in the middle of the room, facing the doorway. He followed me into the room, but stopped in the doorway.
"I put things there," he said, pointing to the dresser top. The tray was gone, but there was a bowl and several towels. I would see later that the bowl held water, and there was soap.
"Did she throw things?"
"No. She told me to apologize for her."
"What is she apologizing for?"
"She didn't say. Perhaps you can decide. Perhaps she apologizes that the sky is blue."
"Perhaps she does," I said. So he had a sense of humor. Well, good for him. "Will she come see me tonight?"
"She didn't say."
"Are you willing to see her again for me?" He nodded slowly. "Tell her that I welcome her company, whenever she can bear to look upon me again."
"I don't understand."
"Will you remember my words?" And at that, he nodded. "Well, just repeat my words, and let her decide. In the future, you could bring paper, and I will write my notes. You won't have to remember."
He nodded.
"Is there anything else you need tonight?"
"No, thank you. I'm fine."
"Good night, Cecilia Grace."
"Good night, Hilopid."
* * * *
She didn't come that night. Hilopid came in the morning with breakfast and permission to use the water closet, then again later in the morning with books and another water closet break.
But it was one of the aunts who came with lunch, the one who hadn't liked me.
"Ah," I said when the door opened. "A new jailor."
Without a word, she carried the tray in and set it down. I didn't make a move for the door; this time, I had no need. I watched the aunt. She turned to me, not even blocking my route to the door. I cocked my head. "You would not stop me if I tried to flee?"
"Where would you go?" she asked.
"If no one believes I will flee, why must the door be locked at all?"
"It is not that no one believes you will flee. It is that if your opportunities to do so are limited, then you could not flee far enough to fully escape. You could not escape, anyway, but if the door is unlocked, you might attempt to do so."
"Actually, I have every intention of playing out this situation as it sits. But let us talk only hypothetically. If I decided to leave right now, I could do so, but I could hurt you first, and you could not report me."
"If I am gone too long, someone will look for me. Even if that is a few hours, you could not get far in a few hours. You do not know these mountains, and we do."
"Are you so sure that, during my escape into the mountains, I would not do sufficient mischief on my way that you wouldn't be very busy dealing with the mischief?"
She crossed her arms. "What sort of mischief?"
"The kind that burns, perhaps. Or perhaps I would only take a hostage and hold him or her against my escape. You saw me fight. Do you not worry about these things? Or perhaps... At least until I learned about a galatzi trade, my impression of the Talmonese was very high. You struck me as a very kind, welcoming people. Perhaps these things would never occur to one of you."
"People are people," she said. "You have not suggested the unthinkable. I imagine if we put our minds to it, we could together arrive at a lengthy list of trouble you could cause. I also imagine if you put your mind to it, you could escape this room, locked door or otherwise."
"I checked the windows. They are barred."
She smiled. "We tried to break into your house. Your window was very strong."
"Yes. It would take a long time to break into my house the way you tried. A very, very long time." And then I realized something. I began laughing. "Are you sure you should have made me think of going through the walls?"
"You would have thought of it eventually."
"Perhaps not."
"I believe you would, but even if you would not, I am perhaps telling you something else."
When she didn't continue, I said, "Assuming I could guess the mind of a Talmonese is what landed us in this awkward situation. Perhaps you should speak plainly."
"This room is not a prison cell. We have no prison here, although we do have a jail cell. Two, actually. They get use when someone drinks too much, perhaps, or when a dispute grows out of hand. I do not believe you would escape the jail cell. But this is not a jail cell. The lock on the doors and the bars on the window are not entirely symbolic, but are largely so. We know you can escape if you try. We know you can cause trouble if you try. But can you survive in the mountains? Can you find your way to Sudden?"
"Yes, actually, I can. I would take what I needed. Do you not use a proper cell because you believe the mountains do the job for you, or perhaps the snow?"
"No. We do not use a prison cell because if you want to leave so badly, in the end, we would let you leave. But you are a diplomat. Surely you understand the importance of tradition and of symbols."
I nodded. "Yes."
"Well then. I ask you to respect the symbols."
"But you leave the door ajar. Is that not a symbol as well? Perhaps you offer yourself as my hostage. You have strange traditions, after all. Maybe this is one no one has told me."
"Do you want to leave?" she asked. "Do you want to take me as a hostage?"
"No. As I said
, I have every intention of letting this situation play out. If it drags on too long, my patience will grow thin."
"And then?"
"And then I might demand to be returned to Sudden, or I might simply wait for someone to come get me."
"Your empire."
"Yes."
"The soldiers you mentioned, that day by the river?"
"I hope not," I said. "I hope Talmon never sees an imperial marine. No, at first it would simply be someone from my staff, perhaps with an escort, but not the marines. The marines are not diplomats, and The Empire would attempt diplomacy first."
She nodded. "I do not understand everything you say, and I do not understand what has upset my niece so badly. I know you fought over the locked door, but I do not believe she neglects you over that. You are reacting far too calmly for that to be it, and she trusted you with Hilopid."
"I told her part of my history. It has troubled her. I shouldn't have told her. She promised me she wouldn't tell anyone else, but I am not sure that is a promise she is able to keep."
"If she promised it, she will keep it."
"Your faith pleases me," I said. "It bodes well. The vendart is troubled and is not sure she still wants me."
"That is not true! She is in agony, Cecilia. Whatever could you have said?"
I considered her carefully. "I must admit something to you."
"Oh?"
"You know it is difficult for me to understand Talmonese when spoken quickly." She nodded. "Introductions the day we first met were done hastily. The only name I learned was Sartine's."
She paused, and then she laughed. I wasn't offended. "My name is Kilarn," she said. "The vendart's mother was my older sister. My husband is Meorid."
"I am pleased to properly meet you, Kilarn. Meorid was the very large man I fought alongside Sartine, the night I was taken."
"Yes. Thank you for not hurting him."
"He is very difficult to hurt. He is a very large man."
She laughed. "Yes, he is. He has been good to me."
"Well, Kilarn, I cannot tell you what I told Sartine. But I will confess something to you if you promise me you are discrete."