Butt Ending: A Big Stick Novel 2 (Standalone)

by R. C. Stephens

  “I think I do.” My tone is serious after our little morning tryst and him shutting me down—again. It’s definitely time to go and get my shit together, because I’m pining for a guy I will never get.

  “Stay, please.” He juts out his lower lip. As adorable as he may be right now, I still have my self-respect.

  “I don’t think so. Thanks for everything.” I reach out to give him a hug. It doesn’t seem like he’s expecting it, and he wraps one arm around me. I release him fast, since he friend-zoned me about twenty minutes ago.

  I force a friendly smile before turning to the front door to find my running shoes. I tie them quickly, needing to get out of here fast before he convinces me to stay and gives me a “we’re better as friends” speech too.

  “Sloane, c’mon. We’re friends, aren’t we?” His deep voice sounds a little whiny as he pleads. Just as I predicted. The friends speech is on the tip of his tongue. As I think tongue, I remember the way he went down on me, and I have to press my thighs together to ease the ache.

  “Gah!” I don’t even have a response. It’s exactly what I don’t want to hear.

  He tilts his head to the side and follows me to the door. He picks up his keys. “Let me at least give you a ride.”

  “I think it’s better you didn’t. I called an Uber.”

  He lets out an audible sigh and hunches forward. “I’ve upset you. Shit! See? I’m messed up.” He shakes his head. “I didn’t mean to,” he repeats, looking exasperated with himself.

  I force a smile, “I’m fine.” That’s a lie. “Thanks again for everything.” And with those words and my bag perched on my shoulder, I leave.

  It’s a sunny albeit windy day when I leave the front doors of his building. The cab should be here any minute. I reach for my phone, forgetting it was stolen, which fucking sucks because I need my girl Flynn to tell me that my Mr. Right is out there somewhere, and he isn’t the brooding hockey player upstairs.

  When the cab arrives, I direct him to the nearest cell phone company. I can’t survive without a phone.

  With a phone in hand, I head home and wallow in some Halo top ice cream for breakfast. At least it’s low-cal, and I have a right to wallow after being rejected by Oliver Russell not once but twice. Then I do something that I’ve been putting off for a while . . .

  I join Always and Forever. It’s a dating site for people who are looking to settle down.

  Feeling bold, I input my age and general location. When it asks me for my email, I freeze, thinking that some lunatic might get hold of my email. I create a new email address specifically for the site. I can’t allow my old fears and hang-ups to meddle anymore. I want to be in a relationship and my cherry needs to be popped, dammit. After signing up, I scroll the site for some singles in my area and am surprised by the long list that turns up. I’m not sure how to find someone compatible, so I take one of the surveys the site offers. Once I fill the survey out, the site says they will recommend possible matches for me.

  I just want to find a kind, handsome man who is ready to settle down and knows what he’s doing in bed. Thanks to Oli, I know what good chemistry feels like. Now I just need to find it with a man who is willing to commit.

  As I think my last thought, my cell phone rings. Flynn’s number comes up on the screen. I’m thankful I backed up to iCloud recently, which means I didn’t lose my contacts.

  “Flynn.” I let out a breath of air.

  “Hey, schnookums. I spoke to my brother. He assured me he took good care of you. Does that mean what I think it means?” She sounds like she’s wincing.

  I let out a puff of air. “Pfft. I wish. He’s got some crazy idea we can only be friends.” I spare her the details of our little morning tryst. I don’t think she wants to hear how wet my vagina was or how well-hung her brother is.

  “He sounded a little off, to be honest.” She sighs. “He said he watched over you last night and woke you a few times to make sure you didn’t have amnesia or anything. . .” Her voice trails off. “Something’s wrong. He wanted to ask me something, then stopped himself. Are you sure there was nothing else?”

  “Mmm, our lips may have locked this morning,” I mumble. He’s still her brother and it feels awkward to share.

  “Get out of town,” she snaps. “I knew it.” She sounds excited a little too excited. I think it’s stemming from being home all day and night with the babies. Her life is too drama free. She needs me to spice it up, and if I’m being honest, until now I haven’t had any spicy ammunition.

  “There really isn’t. I hate to burst your bubble. Your brother friend-zoned me,” I reply.

  She sucks in a loud breath of air and it comes out like a long hiss. “He didn’t.”

  “He did.”

  “He didn’t,” she repeats.

  “He definitely did,” I snicker.

  “Fuck me,” she cusses.

  “Well, it isn’t me and my hostile vagina getting fucked.” I sigh. “I’ve got to take matters into my own hands.”

  “Are you referring to vibie?” she giggles, knowing the name of my vibrator.

  “Not vibie.” I laugh. “I joined Forever and Always; it’s a dating site a friend from the network told me about. Most of the people who sign up are looking for relationships.” Sierra did mention that there were some trolls using the relationship card to get laid but I don’t want to worry Flynn, so I don’t mention it.

  “You didn’t,” she says, her voice laced in shock.

  “I did,” I repeat. Needing to break the cycle of dids and didn’ts, I say, “I’m going to find a man to settle down with and I will allow him to pop my cherry. I just wish these men came with reviews. It would help to know who’s a nice guy and if they have skills in bed. No one wants to waste their time on some underachiever.”

  Flynn bursts into laughter.

  “I’m glad I made you laugh.”

  “Is it the head injury, Sloane? Has something happened to your marbles?” she asks through her laugh.

  “Nothing’s happened to my marbles, thank you very kindly. I’m just seeing things for what they are. I need to end this hostile vagina business and the only way I can do that is by settling down. I’ll find the right guy and allow him to monopolize my vagina. That should help me get over my feelings for your brother.” And my past, I think, but I don’t mention the last part.

  Flynn sighs. “I’m sorry he’s stubborn and set in his ways. I want to have the time to go to his apartment and hit him over the head with a frying pan. Get him to smell the beans.”

  I laugh, and a snort comes through the phone. “It’s smell the coffee, babe.”

  “I refuse to believe my brother is a lost cause. I was really hoping you two would end up together. We are best friends and Myles and Oli are best friends it’s a perfect couple match.” She sighs. “And how effective is that dating site anyway? I mean what are the chances you find someone you have mad chemistry with?”

  I hate that she’s right. My previous dating record proves her point. “I’m twenty-seven years old. I don’t want to get into bed every night by myself and wake up with cold sheets on the other side of the bed. I’ll lower my standards. Maybe the perfect man doesn’t exist.” It definitely isn’t the happy-ever-after I had in mind.

  “It bothers me to hear you talk this way,” she says sounding disappointed. What her and Myles have together is rare. “And your V status,” she sighs. “I’ve been protecting it for so long,” she says dramatically but there is emotion behind her words.

  “I appreciate that you were always protective of my V-card.” I bat my eyelashes, even though she can’t see me, my voice wistful.

  I hear a baby cooing in the background. “What is it, my sweets? Did you make a poo?”

  “I hadn’t realized our relationship had taken that direction,” I respond, wanting to play with her a bit.

  “Ha ha. Very funny. I gotta go. I think I got a stinky one here,” she says, and it sounds like she’s plugging her nose, then sh
e continues to mutter sweet words to the babies.

  “Go. I know what a stinky situation is after babysitting back in Canada. Good luck and see you on the other side.” I laugh.

  “Sloane, you make it sound like a chore, but it really isn’t. I love taking care of my babies. I even love their poopy diapers.”

  “That’s going a little too far there, Mama,” I chide.

  She scoffs, “Wait until you have one of your own. One day, you’ll see what I mean.”

  “There is no way I will ever enjoy poop,” I retort.

  “Yes okay. We’ll talk soon,” she answers.

  “Bye, schnookums.” I end the call.

  With time on my hands, I redirect my attention to Forever and Always. Now that I’ve signed up, I have access to the profiles. I click on the first one.

  Professional looking to settle down. Doesn’t see kids in his future.

  Really? Ugh? He looks cute in his profile pic, but I don’t think I can be with someone long term who doesn’t want kids.

  I scroll through more profiles. Nothing catches my attention until I see the heading:

  Single guy trying to stay sane in a crazy city.

  His profile pic shows a guy with good hair, dark eyes, and a friendly smile. I click and read more. He’s an advertising exec for a big firm, likes spending quiet nights at home, plays tennis, and wants kids. Jackpot! I message him. Only I’m not sure what to say. I start with hello. Once I press send, I wonder if there’s some dating-site etiquette I’m supposed to follow. I make a note in my head to ask my friend Sierra from the network about online dating rules since she’s mentioned she’s signed up to this dating site. Only a moment later, a bubble pops up on my screen, and my heart rate picks up.

  Austin: Hello, nice to meet you, Sade.

  Shit!

  What do I do now?

  I suck in a breath.

  I signed up under an alias just in case someone who is crazy stalker material finds me. I clearly didn’t think this through, because if I end up meeting a nice guy, he’ll think my name is Sade.

  Sloane: Hey yourself, Austin. I hit the reply button.

  Austin: You look pretty. Are you sane? It’s hard to find a sane person to date online. I just signed up two weeks ago because my friends from work were on my case. BTW, I’m a bit of a workaholic but I’m looking to change that. And I’m babbling . . . sorry.

  Something about his babbling makes me laugh and relax. He seems normal . . . enough.

  Sloane: I think I’m sane, although my friends may tell you different. I just signed up to Forever and Always twenty minutes ago. I don’t know what I’m doing with the whole online-dating thing, just to give you a heads up.

  Austin: Ah! A newbie. Yes, I think tonight’s my night. Are you originally from Chicago? I’m from South Carolina. Charleston, to be exact.

  Sloane: Oh! Do you have a southern accent?

  I ask because yes, I have no shame, and a man with a southern accent is sexy as hell.

  Austin: Sure do. Although I’ve been in Chicago almost ten years now. It isn’t as pronounced as it is when I’m back home. Hope that doesn’t deter you.

  Sloane: No, I’m originally from Kansas City.

  Austin: Sade, what do you say we meet for coffee? Maybe tomorrow night?

  That’s when my heart gallops and skips a beat. Fear sinks in. The stitches in my head haven’t even dissolved yet, and the attack remains fresh in my mind. Maybe it was too to dive right into the dating game. I swear, Oli gets me so riled up and angry sometimes that my temper gets the best of me, and then I do something out of my norm like sign up to Forever and Always to look for a relationship guy, or maybe soulmate. . . No soulmate is pushing it. The more I think, the crazier I feel my idea was, only a part of me doesn’t want to back down from it either. If I meet this guy in a public place like Starbucks, it should be a safe bet.

  Austin: You still there?

  Sloane: I’m here. I work evenings. Are you free during the day?

  Austin: Not really, but I could probably steal an hour at lunch. Would that work?

  Sloane: Yes.

  Darn, now that he wants to do lunch, Starbucks isn’t an option. Lunch seems like more of a commitment than a cup of coffee if things head south.

  Austin: There is a great Italian place down the street from where I work. Do you like Italian?

  Sloane: I do like Italian.

  What the hell am I doing?

  Austin: Great! I’ll send you the details. Does around two o’clock work? I’m sorry, I have a meeting in the morning.

  Sloane: That’s actually perfect.

  I remember that tomorrow I’ve committed to volunteer at the America’s Mental Health Awareness offices.

  Austin: You have a good night, Sade. Looking forward to meeting you tomorrow.

  Sloane: Thanks, you too, Austin.

  The chat ends, and I’m smiling. That really wasn’t bad, for my first online-dating experience.

  I head into the bathroom and prepare for tonight’s taping. I can do this. I can have a relationship.

  Austin seems like a charmer. This should be a piece of cake, even though it hasn’t been until now that I’ve convinced myself that this blind date is exactly what I need. These past couple of months have been eye-opening for me. In the past, I didn’t give guys a chance because my heart still felt broken over Parker. I needed closure where he was concerned, and it wasn’t going to happen. I had mourned that relationship long enough. And really, I should be thankful to Oli. He caused feelings to spark inside me I didn’t think I was capable of. Now I know I need to move on, find the right man and for goodness sakes end the case of my hostile vagina. I primp my hair feeling confident that I’m finally ready to find my Mr. Right.

  Twenty

  Sloane

  I can’t stop looking over my shoulder to make sure I’m not being followed as I head to the America’s Mental Health Awareness offices. I wonder if the fear I feel from being attacked will stick with me from here on out. I hate to have fear controlling me. I should be stronger than this. I was stronger than this . . . only now I’m not. My phone rings. It’s my friend Sierra from work.“Hey, I’m here in front of the AMHA offices. Are you almost here?” she asks. Shoot. With all the craziness in my life, I forgot that she said she would be coming to volunteer with me today.

  “Yeah, sorry. I’m running a few minutes late.” I clap my hand to my forehead as I speed-walk down the street. I hate being on my phone as I walk. “I’m going on a date right after volunteering, so I put in extra effort,” I explain, while turning my head to check my surroundings. “Um, Sierra, I think I should get off the phone,” I say without an explanation. My heart is racing while the fear of being attacked again is very real in my mind. My mind races with negative thoughts, and I worry what Sierra will think. I usually come across as having my shit together. Now, I clearly don’t.

  “Um . . .” She sounds confused. I’m hoping she drops this and lets me off the phone. “I don’t mean to pry, Sloane,” she begins, and I let out a silent whimper, even though I know her concern is coming from a good place. “You sound scared. Are you okay? If I’m overstepping, just say. I’m only looking out for you.”

  I told her about the attack last night at work when I asked her if she wanted to join me for volunteering. She’s new to town and doesn’t really know anyone, so she has time on her hands.

  “I’m fine.” I take a large gulp. My heart is palpitating uncomfortably, and my breaths are ragged. I’m having a hard time admitting I’m scared. I’m supposed to keep my head held high when bad things happen and move on. At least, that’s what my mama told me after my aunt died of cancer and my best friend and love, Parker . . . I can’t even think the thought without my heart burning from pain. I push it aside, thinking my mom sure as hell didn’t keep her shit together, because she took off, leaving me and my dad behind. She’s been running ever since. Her life as a sex guru is an escape from her reality. From the reality that the genetic
testing showed that my aunt’s breast cancer held a genetic link. That one day, my mom may have to face the same fate as my aunt, and so she lives by travelling and bringing her knowledge of sexual stimulation to the masses, blah, blah, but in truth, she abandoned her family. The people who love her. I can’t repeat my mother’s mistakes. I need to bow my head and admit that I’m scared, that I can’t get over this on my own.

  “I can’t be on the phone because I’m scared of being attacked.” The words are hard to say, but once they leave my mouth, a sense of relief washes over me.

  “Okay, I’m glad you shared with me. I don’t want to keep you. I’ll see you soon.”

  The phone clicks and I’m relieved to be off the phone because I feel more in tune to my surroundings. My breathing returns to normal. Even though I can’t stop the almost obsessive feeling of watching my surroundings. As I pass Starbucks, I give in to my uncontrollable need for coffee, and I pick one up for Sierra too. I cross the street and my cell rings again. I huff not wanting to answer it but then I see the name Giant flashing on the screen, and my heart flutters in a good way. I scold my betraying heart.

  “Hello.” I’m sure I sound hesitant because I’m not sure why he’s calling me after the way we left things.

  “What are you up to?” he asks.

  He’s never randomly called me before. I’m confused. Last I saw him, he had his tongue down my throat one minute, and friend-zoned me the next.

  “Um . . . I’m about to start my volunteering,” I reply with a tone that says this is weird. Why are you calling?

  “Nice. I do volunteering. Where you at? I can come along and help,” he offers.

  If I sounded confused before, now I’m completely baffled. “You want to come to my volunteer position and help out?”

  “Yeah,” he confirms as if it’s obvious. “I’m kind of famous in this town. When I offer to volunteer, people usually jump on the idea. Why do you sound hesitant?” he asks with that deep voice that pulls on my heartstrings.