“Don’t walk away from me, you prick!” There’s my little firecracker.
I hear Shepard telling everyone to go about their business, and I don’t even give a fuck what that is right now.
I manage to get to my bedroom door before she starts thumping my back with her fists. “I said: don’t walk away from me!”
I twist and grab her wrists, pulling her inside the room and slamming the door behind her. Marley leans back against the door and looks at me with tears in her eyes. “Why, Marley? Why would you...”
“Because you’re the father, Roman!” I stumble back. What the hell? “I knew coming here was a mistake, but I needed to tell you. You deserved to know. Then that skank attacked me. If I weren’t pregnant, I would’ve ripped her head off, but I couldn’t risk her hitting me in the stomach and hurting my baby.”
“It’s been eight months since we were together, Marley. What are you, four, five months?” She can’t be any more than that her stomach is too small. When Nova, Willow, Coral, even Elie were pregnant, they were huge.
“I’m eight months, Roman. The baby is yours. I haven’t been with anyone since you. Why the hell would I when I can’t bear to be touched?”
“Right. How am I to know it ain’t Bulldog’s?” I snapped that one out, and it fucking hurt her. I saw the pain flash in her eyes.
“Because you are the only man who ever came inside of me. It doesn’t matter. I can’t blame you for thinking such things, especially after what I did. I just...” She rubs her forehead with her fingertips and bursts out crying.
What the fuck am I supposed to do with this shit? I never wanted kids, that’s why I always use protection, except once when I was eighteen, and that left a fucking hole in my heart that will never be filled. I didn’t with Marley either. Why didn’t I?
Yes, I imagined us married with kids, but I didn’t honestly think it would happen. In my thirty odd years of life, almost fucking forty, I put all the kids bullshit behind me.
What the fuck am I meant to do?
“I’m sorry, Roman. I am so sorry. Hate me all you like, but please don’t take it out on the baby; it needs its father.”
“I need a fuckin’ drink.”
“Okay,” She nods her head. “You need time. I know. I should’ve told you when I found out I was pregnant, but I was afraid, Roman. My head was such a mess with everything that happened, and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t think I could be anyone’s mother. I have nothing and no one. However, I never once thought about not having this baby. I’m really sorry about everything, Roman. You don’t have to have anything to do with this baby; I can manage alone. I just thought I’d give...”
What the fuck am I doing?
I’m a grown man for Chrissake, and here I am making the woman I love, feel like fucking shit about the baby she’s carrying. My baby. Goddamn, my baby.
There’s no way on this earth I’ll let my child go. I could be a good father. I know I could.
Seeing Marley crying like this brings back some of the worst memories I have. Memories of her the night I rescued her from those pussies Devils Roadkill, right before we ended the lot of them!
I never gave love a seconds thought in the past, but the moment I met Marley, something changed inside me forever. I needed to be near her, to touch her, to taste her. She made me want to do things I’d never done before, like, slow dancing with her, talking about dumb shit that meant nothing, bringing her dinner, and telling her jokes so that I could see her smile. I wanted that every day for the rest of my life. Has that really changed?
Fuck it all!
I grab Marley’s hand and pull her into my arms. She holds onto me tightly while crying into my chest. “I’m so sorry, darlin’,” I kiss her head. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. God, I would never hurt you.”
“It’s yours, Roman. I swear the baby is yours. I wouldn’t lie to you, I swear, I wouldn’t.”
“I know, sweetheart. I know.” I do know. Deep inside of me, I know. “There’s a lot for us to talk about.” She nods against me. “I want you with me, Marley. You’re my girl. You have been since the first moment I saw you. I let you go because I figured I wasn’t good enough for you, that maybe you just needed time to get over everything, but I won’t let you go now that you’re with me.”
“I want to stay with you,” She looks up at me. “I meant what I said out there. I love you, Roman.”
I breathe deeply. Marley isn’t the first woman to ever tell me that she loves me, but I know she’s the first girl I’ve ever loved in return. She left because she needed to get over what happened. Everything was too raw, too soon, I know that but she’s here now with me, and she loves me.
“I love you, too, darlin’.” I tuck her hair behind her ear.
The beautiful smile on her face is something to behold. “Do you mean that?”
“I do — more than I’ve ever meant anything in my life before this moment. Don’t know what you did to me, Marley, but I haven’t been the same since I met you. I fell in love with you so deeply it fuckin’ scared me.”
“I know what you mean.”
“I also mean it when I say we’re moving into our own place just as soon as I find somewhere. I can’t have the two of you living here. It’s not right.”
“We might not have much choice.”
I chuckle. “Baby, trust me, I’ll have a place by the week’s end.”
“No. Roman,” She looks down, my eyes follow hers. There’s water on the floor between her legs. “My water just broke!”
“Shit!” Shit, indeed. I’ve had half a damn hour to get used to becoming a father, and now she’s in labor? Oh, hell.
This is all Sasha’s fucking fault! She attacked Marley, and now she’s in labor. I hope for Sasha’s sake that my baby comes through this. Because, killer of women or not, I will murder that fuckin’ bitch in ways no one will recognize her!
Chapter Four
Marley
She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”
“The most beautiful creature I have ever seen.” I look away from my newborn daughter and up at her father as he touches my face. “As beautiful as her mother.” Roman kisses me softly, making me smile. I do love this man, and I know we have a lot to talk about, we can’t just pretend nothing happened. However, I know that everything is going to be okay from now on.
Romany Lacey Walker was born an hour ago, weight 5lb 1oz after five hours of labor. A tiny little girl in perfect health. I was so relieved when the doctor told me that my baby was just fine. I mean, my baby girl was born three weeks early, and I was hardly showing, but she’s beautiful, healthy, perfect. Of course, I’ve given my daughter Roman’s name; first and last. Romany just seemed to suit her, and Roman was filled with pride when I told him.
How strange is it, though, that I didn’t even know his actual name until ten minutes ago? Tallon Colt Walker. God, what a sexy name! He’s also a few years older than I am, but I couldn’t give a shit about that, he loves me, and I feel happier than I ever have before.
If I’m honest, even though I do love Roman, and I am happy to be with him, the MC life is not what I wanted for a child of mine. However, Romany is here now, and I will do everything in my power to protect her and guide her on the right path in life.
How this is going to work with Roman, though, I don’t know. Yes, as I said, I love him. I think I fell for him not long after I met him, but he’s an outlaw. A man who loves to steal, hurt, kill, and yes, I do mean that. He loves it. He told me so himself.
How could I subject this little girl to the horrors of what I’ve seen in the past?
Living with an outlaw biker is nothing but a horror story come to life.
Okay, the Snakes Henchmen are not like most MC’s. Which is strange, but their president has them all on a tight leash. Not that they’re monks by any means, but when they have old ladies, children, they care for them.
Snakes Henchmen are a family – a big one, a strong one. However, that doesn’t
mean anything. There’s always someone bigger and stronger out there willing and ready to hurt those you love. Though, these guys even have ties to the Mafia! Yes, that’s what I said, Mafia.
Hammer, the clubs Sergeant-At-Arms, and Maria, wife to the clubs VP Jett, are the siblings of Draven Vidal, head of the Vidal Crime Family. Draven is married to Marnie, sister to Brooke, who is married to Hawk, brother of Wrench, cousins to Roman. Yeah, it’s crazy!
I know in my heart that Roman would never let anything happen to Romany and me, but that’s not to say something won’t. I know how these things go down, I’ve been on the receiving end of hell for years because of an MC. I won’t allow my daughter to become the girl who’s used and abused the way I was. Having Romany has somehow made me stronger. God, I feel so strong all of a sudden.
I don’t know how we’re going to work this thing out. I wish I could let go of some of the hell I’ve been through because it doesn’t mean anything anymore. However, it isn’t as easy as doctors will make out.
I don’t think I could leave Roman again, having him with me through Romany’s birth, him holding my hand, stroking my sweaty forehead, and encouraging me, only showed me just how perfect he is. Roman might not be everyone’s cup of tea; he’s possessive, dominant, and all that goes with it, but I know he has a big heart, I’ve seen it before.
Not that Roman would allow me to leave with Romany in tow, he’s smitten with our little girl. The beautiful look on his face when he held her for the first time, the tears in his eyes as he kissed Romany’s head and told her how much he loved her... I watched him fall in love with his daughter at that moment, and there is no way I would ever take her from him. I just couldn’t hurt him like that.
Maybe I need to have a little faith that things really will be okay. So many bad things have happened in my life that I find it hard to believe anything good could come my way.
My doctor told me that Romany and I need to stay in the hospital for the night just as a precaution. She said it was perfectly normal as Romany was born early. As my daughter doesn’t need assistance in breathing, and she hasn’t shown any signs of struggling, she can go home. Roman was pissed that he had to leave us, but if truth be told, I’m enjoying spending this time alone with my daughter. Roman left two prospects outside the door with the order that should I need him; they’re to call him immediately. That made me smile.
I’m not supposed to have Romany in bed with me, she should be in her crib, but I can’t bear to put her down. I refused to allow her to be taken to the nursery; I want her with me. I just want to hold her close to me all the time and tell her how no one will ever hurt her because I will kill anyone who tries.
So, I’m lying on my left side, with my baby girl right beside me. I smile while stroking her soft cheek with my finger. “You were so worth it, Romany. You were worth all the hell I endured in the past. Meeting your daddy was the best thing that ever happened to me. It was because he gave me you.” Romany doesn’t make a noise, nor move, as I kiss her tiny little head with a smile on my face.
My door suddenly opens. I’m not expecting anyone, and I panic a little. I still get scared now and again, even though I know Bulldog is gone. I pull myself up into a sitting position while pulling Romany close to my chest. My heart is pounding, even when I see whom it is walking through my door. More so, in fact
“It’s been a long time, Marley.”
“Marcus,” I swallow hard.
Marcus Nickson was once my fiancé, a very long time ago. A good-looking man with curly blonde hair, big brown eyes, and a smile that would light up the city. My fiancé before my father dragged me away from him and my life back home in order to hand me over to Bulldog. Marcus and I never officially broke up, so I don’t know where we stand right now. He hasn’t been waiting around for me to turn up, surely?
The last time I saw Marcus, we’d spent the night together, talking about our up and coming wedding, how we’d both soon be doctors, the life we’d build for ourselves, and the children we might have one day. We made love until the sun came up, and it was perfect.
We lived together back then and had done for months. Marcus was my everything, and I wanted everything our life promised. Our life wasn’t perfect by any means. Marcus could be a difficult man to live with. Everything had to be his way or no way. I did what he told me to do when he told me to do it, or I would face the consequences of his anger. He wasn’t the worst monster I have ever encountered, but I was so ignorant to the horrors of the world back then, and the things the real monsters who run it could do.
Looking back on things, I should have left Marcus the first time he went out of his way to emotionally hurt me. However, I loved him so much that I thought I could change him, so I went along with it all because I didn’t want to lose him. I was so blind to most of it, but when a young girl is in love, she sees nothing but the man she believes she can’t live without.
God, he was my life back then. There was nothing that could tear us apart.
Until my father summoned me home, I thought nothing of it; we had things to talk about, after all. His wedding speech was one of them. My father was also a monster who loved nothing more than hurting me, but I wanted him at my wedding regardless. He was my father, and I loved him. I thought he’d be proud to give me away, and I wanted to make sure he was comfortable with everything, so I went with him.
He didn’t want to talk about the wedding, he lured me with lies of working on his speech and even a shopping spree for the wedding, only to lead me to that hell hole and hand me over to the worst monster of all. I never saw Marcus again... Until now.
“What are you doing here?”
“I work here.” Well, duh. If the white coat and stethoscope didn’t give it away, nothing will. “I heard you were brought in. Well, I heard a colleague mention your name along with those bikers that brought you in. I thought, ‘They can’t mean my Marley. Can they?’ Yet here you are.” His eyes linger on my newborn daughter. I pull her closer to me and kiss her head.
I gave birth just a few short hours ago, I’m emotional already, and now this? Seeing Marcus again was the last thing I imagined would happen today. When I look at Marcus, I still see the man I once loved, the man who had my heart from the moment I first saw him. Marcus and I should have been married by now, and both of us doctors. Maybe Romany would have been his child, and this would have been our moment with our daughter. However, it isn’t ours, this is Roman’s little girl, and I will never regret that. I have a lot of regret and shame that I hold onto, but Romany will never be one of them. Who could ever regret the best thing that ever happened to them?
I can’t even say that I wish Romany were Marcus’ because I don’t. I realized in my solitude that if Marcus and I had ever been blessed with a child, that child would have been used to control me. I would never want that for my child, having a father that belittles and humiliates its mother in front of them daily.
No, I’m glad she’s Roman’s, I’m happy that he loves me, and that makes me feel like a damn cheat right now. However, I’m not sure whom I’m cheating on, Roman for even being in the same room as my ex or Marcus for loving Roman when we never officially broke up.
I don’t like how this feels inside, not one little bit.
I hadn’t noticed Marcus come closer, although I feel the bed dip a little as he takes a seat beside me. “I thought you were dead.” He all but whispers, and I feel his pain because it’s mine also.
I’d come to terms with the fact I’d never see Marcus again. I let go of what we had a couple of years ago. I put it all to rest. I knew there was no point hanging on to what we had when I knew I’d never even attempt to find him. Everything that happened to me put pay to the life I had with Marcus, it was gone, and it wouldn’t be coming back.
Finding out I was pregnant; I thought I was ready to move on with Roman. I thought he was my future, my love. Now, I’m not so sure. Seeing Marcus here has confused me so much. Yes, I honestly do love Roman, but I still lov
e Marcus, and I can’t deny it. This shit hurts.
“Why did you leave me, Marley? I thought we were happy.” He cups my face. I finally look into his eyes, and tears fall from his and mine.
“We were happy, Marcus. I was so happy being with you. I didn’t leave you willingly. You have to believe me. My father, he gave me...” I hiccup a sob. This is so hard. This man was my future. This man was the love of my life. “He gave me to some bikers as payment for his debts.”
Marcus’s eyes close, and something tells me he’s not shocked by what I’ve just told him. “The ones outside...”
“Are not the club that my father gave me to. Those men were monsters; they did such bad things to me.” I swallow hard, and Marcus is watching me intently. “I escaped them, Marcus, and I wanted so badly to come home to you, but I couldn’t. I was messed up, and I didn’t want you to see me like that. I hid for two long years all by myself. It took me that long to get through a day without wishing I was dead.”
“Oh, baby,” I squeeze his hand. God knows it feels so good to hold his hand again. The memories it’s bringing back make me feel warm inside. “How did you end up with those?” He nods toward the door.
“One of their men was injured. I found him and healed him. Stuff happened, and the men whom my father gave me to before found me again. The club those men out there belong to saved me.”
“And how does she come into this?” He asks while stroking Romany’s little head.
I swallow hard. This is going to sound terrible to Marcus, the man I swore to love forever, but it’s been five years since I last saw this man – five years without him. However, I won’t lie to him. I never have, he would never have stood for it when we were together, and I doubt now would be any different.
“I fell for one of them.” He breathes deeply. Angrily. “Listen to me, Marcus. It was only once, then I left. Romany was a surprise, and I won’t apologize for having her, but I couldn’t cope alone, and I knew she needed her father.”
Crucify Thy Demons: Snakes Henchmen MC Page 4