The Admirer's Secret

by Crane, Pamela

  “I was really looking forward to tonight,” a soft voice commented, breaking the relaxed hush. Her breath visibly moistened the air. Marc turned to his date and nodded. It was remarkable that already they had felt so content in the lulls between chatting.

  “Me too. There’s nothing quite like it, huh?”

  “You’ve got that right. Hey, do you want to check out the ice castle?”

  “I’d love to.”

  As they made their way through the crowd, Marc impulsively grabbed her hand and led the way. He waited to see if she’d pull away, but she didn’t. Her gloved hands were so small compared to his, and he loved the way it felt to show the world that he was with this striking woman. She stepped a beat behind, though connected by their hands, until they arrived where the iced-over lake met the sandy beach. About twenty feet from the frozen shoreline, constructed on the beach, was a large, glistening castle made purely of ice. Every color imaginable glowed behind the blocks of ice, giving the setting a dreamlike effect. Sculptures of angels blowing trumpets surrounded the castle, and ice benches were positioned around the castle for those who wanted to sit—not minding an icy rear end in the process—and absorb the fantasy of it.

  The duo entered the castle to examine the detail up close. She found a private room around one of the corners and led him to a centerpiece that stood in the middle of it. It was a fountain made of ice, and the water spouting out of it was frozen in time. Detailed etching rounded the base of the fountain, and she ran her hand over the sculpture.

  Marc was delighted when she took his hand and placed it beneath her own so he could feel the texture of the patterns through his gloves. His body was so close to hers that he felt warmth emanate from her body. It was all he could do to stop himself from kissing her right then and there. They stood in silence, his arms around her, her hand cradling his. She shifted a little, allowing her back to press firmly against his chest.

  “Isn’t this spectacular? That someone could craft such ornate work on blocks of ice?”

  “Yeah, amazing,” he answered mechanically; his mind was on something else.

  “Do you know how they sculpt this stuff?” She turned her face and looked at him. He blinked back. “Earth to Marc.”

  “Oh, uh, I’m sorry,” he shook his brain back to the conversation, “they actually cut the blocks of ice out of this lake using chainsaws and logging tools. Then ice sculptors use smaller chainsaws to carve the artistic details. Because some layers of the ice freeze translucent and other parts transparent, that gives the ice a striped effect when they stack them to make the castle walls.”

  “That’s interesting. I was afraid this winter would be too warm for the lake to freeze.”

  “Lake Chautauqua always has a knack of getting cold enough to keep the Ice Festival thriving,” he laughed. “It’s times like these that I’m glad we get this kind of weather. Otherwise we wouldn’t be standing here enjoying this time together.”

  “Very true,” she whispered.

  He gently lifted her hand to his cheek, brushed it against his day-old stubble, and intertwined his fingers in hers. They were alone. It was the perfect moment. Keeping their fingers wrapped together, his arms gently pulled her around to face him. She obliged, and he swallowed his anticipation. With a deep inhale, the ice-cold air cleared any trace of bad breath, a backup for leaving his gum in the car. Just as he leaned in for the kiss, a small child squealed from behind him, apparently in the middle of a game of tag with her older sister. Marc pulled back and smiled at the sudden disruption, and she reciprocated with a giggle.

  “I’m starving. Wanna get some food?” she suggested.

  “Definitely. Let’s go.”

  He guided her out of the ice castle and into the bustling crowds. Several food vendors lined the street serving a variety of ethnic foods ranging from hot sausage to halushki, and even deep-fried fish sandwiches for the more conservative eater. As they strolled down the line of makeshift outdoor restaurants, each picked their favorite festival dish, then they headed to a private bench situated on the outskirts of the bonfire.

  Marc watched as she ate her gyro with extra cucumber sauce. Her face was highlighted in some parts and shadowed in others by the fire’s bright glow. Barely touching his hot sausage sandwich, he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. When he did finally sink his teeth into the seasoned meat, he realized it probably wasn’t the best meal to eat before initiating a first kiss.

  He shoved the sandwich down and noticed her empty plate; she definitely wasn’t shy about licking it clean. Another endearing quality—a girl who didn’t pick at her food. Taking both of their paper plates, he tossed everything into the flames. Crackling wood sent hot ashes into the air, like magma spouting from a ruptured volcano. The warmth on his face and chest felt such a contrast to the crisp air against his back.

  Marc reached over and held her hand as they sat staring into the ravenous flames. The atmosphere and quiescence was so comfortable, and he couldn’t imagine enjoying it like this with anyone else. He wanted to capture it and bottle it so that he could feel this way over and over.

  As she leaned into him, he put his arm around her and held her close, so close that he could hear the faint sound of her breath going in and out, in and out. His body followed as his chest rose slightly, and in no time his own breathing was in sync with hers. They sat there in the silence, feeling the curves of one another’s shoulders and arms circling around each other. She fit so completely in his embrace, like she was created to be next to him. For the longest time, neither seemed to move for fear of interrupting their wonderful moment.

  When she at last turned her body around to face him, she reached over to hug him, a seemingly typical friendly hug, but as she pulled away, she didn’t pull all the way away. She lingered close, like she was leaning in a little. A tingling sensation ran up his back in nervous anticipation of the passion that intensified with each moment.

  Slowly Marc placed his hands on both sides of her face, tipped her chin up, and dipped his lips toward hers. Closing his eyes, he felt her soft lips touch his, and it was as if everything stood still for that single kiss. No longer was the air freezing his toes and fingertips, as warmth spread throughout his entire body, enveloping his senses. His hands traveled down her neck and settled on the small of her back, gently pulling her closer. Their lips moved together, their tongues danced in unison, tasting one another’s sweet flesh.

  They kissed right through the background noise of laughing children and chatting bystanders. It wasn’t a passionate, face-gorging kiss. They were in a G-rated family environment, after all, which kept Marc’s hormones in check. But it was enough of a kiss to confirm that she felt for him what he felt for her. It was the sweet pure kiss that meant so much more to him. It was the kiss you share with someone you love, not just someone you lust.

  He pulled away, and as their lips parted, she re-opened her eyes, meeting his. He brought his hands to her face and held it. Tracing her curved jawline with his fingertip, he kissed her once more, this time on the tip of her nose. He rested his forehead against hers, all the while keeping her gaze. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt so alive, so invigorated. It wasn’t animalistic appetite, or meaningless infatuation. It was much deeper than anything he had ever experienced with a woman.

  Marc pulled her into a tight embrace, as if he was afraid to let her go. The romantic prelude urged him to speak the words of his heart, but after knowing her so briefly, he didn’t want to send her running with any premature confessions. Marc held her for several moments in silence, until finally shattering it with a whisper so soft he could barely hear it. Her ear brushed against his mouth as he spoke.

  “You know, these times we’re sharing have been some of the most wonderful moments I’ve had in a long time…” Marc was afraid to say more, but the words found their way past his lips. “I don’t ever want to stop making memories with you.”

  He searched her eyes for an honest reaction. They boldly hel
d his gaze.

  “Marc, I feel the same way. I know that it’s kind of been a whirlwind the past few weeks. Meeting like we did. But the dates we’ve had together have been a real eye-opener for me. You’ve shown me a lot about yourself. And I feel like I can be myself around you too. I never expected things to turn out this way. I’m so glad I’m here with you right now.”

  Her words quelled all his fears. But she wasn’t finished.

  “I know you. I know the kind of man you are. You’re strong, yet not overpowering. You’re genuine, but you know how to meet people where they are in life. You’re funny, but you’d probably get booed off stage.” She squeezed his arm. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that you are what I’ve always wanted in a guy, and I’m so glad you stepped into my life.”

  It took a second for the moment and the words to catch up with him. More than anything, he had wanted her to know how he felt. And he had wanted her to know that his feelings were sincere. He had wanted her to understand that he would always be there for her and that he had always loved her. He wanted her, period. Somehow, amidst the hours-long phone calls and time together she understood his message.

  There was only one response that fit the extent of his feelings. There were only a couple words that could encompass the priceless times they shared over the past couple of weeks. Marc didn’t want it all to become a fleeting rush of sparse moments, only to result in nothing tangible at the end of the day. She wasn’t in his life for only a season; this was it. This was his future wife, the mother of his future children. He was ready to commit, and he was ready to put his past heartbreak behind him for good. This woman was plopped into his life at exactly the right time and he wasn’t going to miss out on the biggest blessing of his life. Turning her around to face him, he touched the tip of her pink nose, watching her breath rise into a subtle mist. Marc Vincetti was willing to do anything to keep her in his life.

  “There’s something I want you to know.” The words clumsily stumbled out against the backdrop of a cracked voice. He needed to say this. He needed her to know. “I love you.”

  No sooner had the words slipped out before he wished to retract them. The weight associated with the depths of those three simple words smothered him. The last time he uttered those words to someone, he had been crushed by her heartless blow. It wasn’t love that he feared, but the aftermath of loving something too much and then losing it that nearly killed him years before. But they were out there. His “I love you” clung to the cold darkness and there was no way he could take them back now.

  The silence between them stung for a brief moment before she replied.

  “Marc…” Her sideways glance almost looked pitying. If he’d been daring enough to jump up and run, he would have. But being a glutton for punishment, he stayed seated, waiting for the blow. “I love you too.”

  “What?”

  Had he heard her right?

  “I love you too.” She leaned against him, wrapping one arm through his and the other rested on top. It felt nice… no, perfect having her there. She fit just right, with her body molded into his. “Just promise me something.”

  “Anything,” he assured her.

  “Don’t hurt me, okay?”

  It was a simple enough request. Of course he would never hurt her. He loved her. But there was something vast and unknown about her request that he couldn’t have ever anticipated. No, he wouldn’t intentionally hurt her, but how could he possibly know that he wouldn’t end up breaking her heart?

  Chapter 31

  Twilight had long since darkened into dusk, and the evening winds picked up as the night grew late.

  Haley’s quick trip to the restroom ended up turning into a half-hour side-tracked gab session with one of the newspaper editors who had spotted her in passing and then pulled her aside to introduce Haley to a slew of colleagues. Though “colleagues” in small towns meant people who remembered you since your childhood, so of course they all wanted to know every detail of Haley’s life as they reminisced about how much Haley had grown since last seeing her. The conversation turned to gushing over her photography, and eventually rounded the corner to her love life. Not wanting to tell them about Marc—news spread fast—they must have eventually noticed her antsy shifting and let her loose.

  On her way to find Marc, a sweet-toothed craving navigated Haley to the concession stand where the choices between a chocolate fudge brownie sundae—homemade, of course—and toasted almonds caused a delay. Both made her mouth water, and both promised plenty of sugary goodness. She ended up deciding on the least messy of the two, since chocolate had a tendency to stick to her front teeth, a perfect mimic of the scene with Anne Howard’s inked tea in The Patriot.

  Another fifteen minutes later, holding two bags of toasted almonds—one for each of them—Haley surveyed the area for her boyfriend. She loved the sound of it—boyfriend. She expected him to be somewhere around the bonfire, since nearly everyone was huddling close to escape the bitter wind, but the darkness concealed any sign of him. There were only a few daring stragglers wandering out of the fire’s circumference of heat, so most likely Marc would be close by.

  Examining each face, she finally saw him off to one side sitting on an Amish-made bench with his legs extended toward the fire. Haley paused before approaching, taking in the image. Though the massive flames gave the scene a toasted shade of yellow, she imagined his cheeks blushing red from the intense heat. A vacant look crossed his face as he stared into the inescapable attraction of the fire. All the surrounding couples were equally transfixed by the fire’s manipulative powers.

  Haley gathered her courage and took a step forward, then she stopped. Her path to Marc was suddenly obstructed by another woman. She leaned over, hands on both of his shoulders, and then plopped into the open seat next to him. The woman joined Marc’s side, pressing awfully close, and his face broke into a vivacious laugh as the woman told a joke or something.

  Haley’s eyes narrowed into tiny slits as she watched the scene unfold. The woman’s hands moved from her own lap to his, resting on his knee. Based on his never-ending laughter, one would think the girl was the entertainment for the evening. Marc looked more than pleasantly surprised at the woman’s advances… as if he wanted her there. The girl was kind of cute, with shiny hair and perfectly flawless skin. Haley disliked her based on the stick figure cheerleader appearance.

  Haley checked herself. Acting jealous wasn’t her style, and it certainly wouldn’t make her look good. The woman was probably a friend of Marc’s, so Haley took another step, ready to introduce herself to this new “friend.” Certainly she wouldn’t shy away just because of some flirty floozy.

  What she saw next made Haley jolt back. If the woman was just a friend, they were definitely way too chummy. As the woman leaned into his side, Marc gave her shoulders a friendly squeeze. Then it went too far. As his arm slung around the woman’s waist—not a friendly shoulder hug, mind you—Haley’s stomach lurched in repulsion. Who was she, and why was his arm around her? The thought crossed Haley’s mind that maybe it was an old friend. But then Marc shot down that idea: he planted his lips—lips he should have committed to her exclusively, so she thought—on the other woman’s cheek.

  The other woman. The words hurt like a spinal tap.

  After giving her heart to him, his aloofness was simply too much to bear. All his letters, his words, felt so meaningless. Like a cruel cosmic joke, their love was now the punch line. Curiosity egged her closer, though everything inside her screamed to turn away. Like watching a car accident, she rubbernecked their interaction. Their lips were moving, but Haley couldn’t make out what they were saying. She found a shadowed spot within earshot behind them. She crept closer to hear what they were talking about, hoping it would shed some light on their malicious display of affection.

  “I still can’t get over that hairdo you had your freshman year of high school. I still don’t understand that whole mullet craze,” the other woman giggled in her grat
ing high-pitched voice as she flirtatiously swatted his shoulder.

  “Oh, whatever! You know you liked it. Otherwise you wouldn’t have agreed to go out with me back then,” Marc answered between bouts of laughter.

  “Can you believe it’s been that long? I never expected to stay in Florida as long as I did, but I’m glad to be back. I just can’t believe we reconnected after all those years…”

  “I know. And you haven’t changed a bit.”

  Marc is such a liar, Haley fumed in the dark. With all the makeup the girl had on, she was probably hiding a whole army of wrinkles under there. And that lipstick color! Is she trying to look like she belongs on a street corner?

  “Well, I’m glad you got rid of the mullet. And you don’t look so bad yourself.”

  Haley tasted acid in her mouth at the sound of that line.

  “You know, I’m getting chilly,” the girl continued. “I’m thinking I might be ready to head home.”

  Is that an invitation for him to leave with her? Haley wondered.

  “Can I just say that it’s been so much fun talking to you, Julie?”

  Julie? So the other woman has a name… Julie…

  “Yes, you can tell me whatever you want,” Julie cackled. The annoying sound of Julie’s laugh grated on Haley’s nerves. “Though just make sure it’s—”

  As someone threw a log onto the bonfire right near where the two laughing hyenas sat, the spew of glittery sparks and engulfing fire sent everyone back a step, and right into Haley’s line of sight. She strained to hear more, but the crackling fire blocked the sound waves. Forcing the images back to mind—a hug, a kiss on the cheek, the laughter—those were all the signs of more than friendship, but how could he have been hiding this other woman from Haley for so long? They had been going out for a couple weeks now, so certainly Haley should have noticed if he was hiding someone else on the side. She hadn’t noticed any evidence of infidelity.