“Are you kidding me? Derrick is your hot date tonight? There are codes for this kind of shit.”
She glares at me. “First off, you don’t own me. Second off, why do you care so much? Apparently you’ve got a girl in your life. One who doesn’t mind being a total slutbag and will visit you late at night just to fulfill your needs.”
I press my hands to my face, over my newly fixed nose, which only needed fixing thanks to her. “You know what, go do whatever the hell you want! I’m done!”
“I’ve been done!”
She storms out of the house and my stomach clenches. I need to follow her. At the same time, I need to let her go. Derrick is my boy, and he’s a good guy. But the thought of her with anyone that isn’t me makes me want to puke, hit a wall, and kill something. I never felt jealous before I met her.
Screw it! I’m following them.
I grab my things and head out the door. I call Lance while I’m pulling out of my driveway. “What up?” he answers.
“Going to kick the shit out of our friend Derrick.”
“Dude! Why are you going to go kick … oh. Did you see him pick up Sky?”
“Damn right I saw! What the hell?” I let go of the wheel and slam my hand back down on it. Hitting something is making me feel better.
“Yeah. You need to calm down. It’s a thank-you meal.”
“What? Thank you for what? He hates her!”
“Update: he doesn’t hate her so much. She helped him get looked at by a couple of colleges for wrestling. Actually, Sky got the recruiters looking at her for swimming to look at all the graduating seniors who are playing or were playing winter sports.”
“Really? She did that?”
“Apparently, at the last meet.”
I pull over and put my car into park on a side street. “She’s too good for me, isn’t she? I should just let her go.”
“Dude, I’m not saying that. You two are good for each other. She pushes you and puts you in your place. I can’t really say the same goes for her, but she’s miserable, man. I will say that. Kayla and I have been trying to get her to smile or laugh like she used to, but ever since … well, you know, the whole Danielle thing. She barely talks, let alone laughs.”
“I screw up everything. God. I’m such an idiot.”
“We all have our moments, man. But here’s the thing, what can you do to correct it?”
Nothing. Well that’s not true. “I gotta leave her alone.” I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’ve got to let her go.
***
Skylar and I are officially on nonspeaking terms. It kills me. But it has to be done. I want her to be happy, and she won’t be with me. Not with a baby on the way and our lives going off in screwed up directions.
I’m looking over community college books and applications since that’s the only thing close enough to town in case this baby needs me. A college an hour away won’t cut it. Thirty minutes down the road will work. Skylar enters the dining room with a stack of plates, silverware, and napkins in her arms.
Our eyes lock. She blinks and looks away from me then starts setting plates down. If I wanted her to talk to me, I wouldn’t move, but I do. I gather up all my things and head toward the living room.
“Caleb?”
I turn and she extends her hand out to me. My application is in her hand. She frowns when I take it and walk out of the room. I can’t go back in there and hug her to me. I can’t kiss her and tell her how sorry I am. I just can’t. She deserves better.
At dinner, my uncle keeps asking about my plans for the year. Like I plan that far ahead. He asks me if I plan on going to prom or if I should put aside that money for the baby. The whole “they don’t support themselves, you know” speech.
By the time that’s over with I’m exhausted. I head up to my room and slump against my bed.
Last thing I expect is her to enter my room. She looks at me with sad eyes and sighs. “Caleb, I picked up an application for you at the coffee shop the other day. It pays well enough. Alex is going to need some full-time staff members once summer hits. You can probably stay on after the college and high school students leave.” She hands it to me. “Plus, Alex asked who I would think would be a good replacement for me in June. Anyway, there you go.”
“Why June? Aren’t you staying here for the summer, too?”
She shakes her head. “No. Italy trip. And then I’ll have to pack for, well … um, anyway, that’s all I wanted. I’m going to leave you alone.” I remember her telling me that was why she was taking Italian. I just didn’t think she would leave right after graduation.
I look down at the application and I’m about to mutter my thanks but she’s gone.
Chapter 33
Skylar
Caleb and I haven’t spoken since I gave him the coffee shop application, which was a week ago. It’s almost Valentine’s Day and there are only three good things happening this month. One, the superintendent finally stopped harassing me about who I might believe was behind the school vandalism. Two, I don’t have to go dress shopping because no one asked me to the Valentine’s Day dance. And three, we’re making up three meets this week and then it’s conference time for swimming.
For the first time in years, I’m actually nervous. This is my last year to prove to everyone I’m good. But it’s not just that, it’s the … final time. The time on that stupid board that lists the time you need to beat to break the record and who holds it. It’s silly to think about this, I know. It’s just a time. Who cares? Well, I care. It’s the time that will carry me through or haunt me forever.
I’m doing it again. Psyching myself out. Ugh. Caleb would know exactly what to say to calm me down, but again, we’re not talking. I’d call Sam and Mikia but those two are just starting to talk to me again, and if I push it with my stupid anxiety about the upcoming meets and my times they might go back to ignoring me again. That’s something I don’t want. Kayla kind of understands this whole me freaking out thing, but I’ve jumped down her throat a few times when she told me “good job” for times that were off by several milliseconds. So … going to her is out. There are a few others I could go to, like Amber, but I’d rather eat a bucket of lead than do that. Mostly because, even though we’re teammates, she won’t hesitate to throw me under the bus, and I need to beat her. She’s my competition for the number one spots. If I even breathe a sliver of doubt, she’ll pounce all over that and use it against me.
I walk to lunch with these damn doubts and nightmares about terrible times floating around in my head. It’s so distracting I’m not really paying much attention and run straight into a group of people waiting by the double doors leading to the lunchroom. Someone turns around. The kid is so tall he probably belongs on the basketball team. “Yeah?”
“Sorry, um … I just need to get to the lunchroom.”
“Yeah, we all do, but we can’t. Something about cleaning up something.”
Great. Someone probably got sick. I can’t wait any longer, and some other students who have packed lunches look like they share my thoughts and begin to move toward the stairs. Guess I’ll have to have a venture into the library to the back study compartments and eat my lunch there.
Before I reach the second floor where the library is located, I overhear, “What do you mean it was violated again? During school hours? Well, how the hell did they get in?”
“I don’t know, Superintendent Samson. But we’re looking into it. We’re thinking it’s a student.”
“Well, where was Miss Fletcher? She seems to always be here when these types of things occur.”
I pause on the steps. My heart pounds hard. The school was tagged again. This time, while we were all in class. I was in class.
I turn and start back down the steps. I’ll take the other staircase.
“Miss Fletcher has been in class the entire time. She was the first person I had the office workers check on. I know you think she’s behind all this, but I honestly don’t believe that anym
ore. At the beginning of the year, well, I wouldn’t have put it past her. But she seems to have changed quite a bit.”
The voices seem to follow me down the stairs. “Mr. Keegan, I appreciate your thoughts, but I just find this way too convenient. That girl knows something or she’s helping them, and I’m going to get to the bottom of this.”
I need to get the hell out of here. It’s the pool incident all over again, but this time it’s worse because I’ll be here to witness their wrath. But shit, if I run again, people will believe I’m the one who did this. Not once but twice now. Shit!
I hurry down the hall and take sharp turn to the left. Taking the stairs up to the second floor, I make my way to the library. It’s only a few feet from me. The door to the media center springs open and Derrick comes out. He doesn’t see me at first, but when he does, his current smile turns into a frown. “Whoa, Bulldog, what’s up?”
I shake my head. “It’s bad.”
He laughs. “Aw, come on, Bulldog, it can’t be that bad. Let’s go to lunch. I’m starving.”
“Yeah … that’s the bad part.”
“Sky, look, I’m not really a play-on-words kind of guy. Plus, I’m really hungry and food fuels this.” He taps his head and smiles. He extends an arm to me, and I take it, but lead him right into the library. “Um, this isn’t the lunchroom.”
“I know. I need to ask a favor.” He nods. “I need your help.”
“Sure. Whatever you want, but I really need—” I pull him to the study area and push him into a seat. I whip my backpack off and he mumbles, “Look, I’m all for being rough and everything, and I think you’re hot as hell but I don’t go after—”
“God, no. Please shut up, Derrick. I’m getting food.” I pull out my lunch. “I need to start from the beginning.”
He looks puzzled but nods anyway. “Yeah, sure.”
“You know how I ended up here, right? My mom fell in love with Brian. I was super mad, but it happened, and she moved us in with him. Hence why Caleb was all weird and had to hide me from, well, everyone who goes here whenever they came over. Anyway, I had no plans to swim or play softball, not for Delmont. I’d suffer the year, go to a college tryout, and then earn a scholarship if I could. That was my fallback plan. I hated it because the chances of earning a scholarship that way are much smaller than through playing and scouts and whatnot. This isn’t the point, though.”
He seems to sigh like, Get to it then because I’m hungry and you already have a lunch. So I continue while tearing my sandwich in half and giving one half to him. At first he shakes his head so I set it down. “The principal told me funds for the school were low because the superintendent stole them. He needed me to swim because scouts were asking to see me perform and wanted to know when they could. This meant funds for the school. More scouts equals revenue and business and yay we can save some stuff. Whatever. I did it. Because I don’t want to see people suffer, like you, because of my hatred for this place. It wouldn’t be fair. So I did it. Then someone tagged the school and everyone assumed it was me. Even you thought I did it, but you know that’s not true.”
“Yeah. I know it now. I told you I was sorry for doubting you. Caleb was right, you’re actually pretty great.”
“Thanks. I hope you think so after I say this. During class, apparently the lunchroom was tagged. Superintendent Samson is out for blood. Mine specifically. And not just him. If this gets out, people are going to hunt me down. You know they will. Even though I was in class the whole time.”
“Wait, the school was jacked up again?” Derrick says a little louder than he should.
The librarian shushes us, and he nods at her then stares at me. “Sky, tell me you know who’s doing this?”
“I don’t. That’s the thing. Sam and Mikia swear they didn’t tag my car. They swear they thought I destroyed the school and tried to pin it on them out of some sort of vengeance for them ignoring me. But I was at McDonald’s at the time of the first attack. And while I was in New York, I wasn’t answering my phone. I barely looked at my emails. And you’ve seen how many times Caleb texted me. I didn’t answer him, either.”
Derrick looks down at the sandwich. “I can have this?”
I nod.
He takes a bite and mumbles, “Good, ’cause it looks like we might be here for a while.”
“I have more food; it was for my meet after school. So go ahead.” I push some of the other items I have toward him. A Gatorade—I actually have two more in my bag, so he could have one—chips, carrot sticks with ranch, a sub-style sandwich, apple slices with peanut butter, and two Snickers bars. I split everything equally and pull out my other Gatorade. We begin eating, talking, and planning a way for me to get out in case things get dicey.
Chapter 34
Caleb
I enter the library after English. I’m scanning for some college books when the doors open. Waltzing in like a couple of cute new lovers is Derrick and Skylar. My blood is boiling at the sight of them. She’s mine! Forget about her being happy with someone else.
Besides, Derrick doesn’t get her. He’ll never get her like I do. I should put a stop to this right now. But instead, I follow them like a stalker. Jesus, I’ve turned into that kind of dude. Man, when did my life turn into absolute shit?
I round the corner and sit on the floor out of view, near the non-fiction section a row away from the long studying table. Maybe she’s tutoring him. God knows he probably needs it. He’s my friend, yes, but I’ve seen his grades, too. He’s not exactly an Einstein.
“Bulldog, don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t think Caleb should have gone to get you. I mean, you were doing fine in New York, weren’t you?”
“Yeah, but … it wasn’t home.”
“So, you have to make it home. Trust me, my dad is never home—always traveling. I never seen his house before. Point is, my dad says you make wherever you are home. That crap about home is where your heart is, that’s for Hallmark saps. It’s not for people like you and me. We’re competitive. We fight for things. If shit doesn’t go our way, we’re mad, but we deal with it. Know what I mean?”
No, she doesn’t know what you mean, dipshit! She’s into the Hallmark happy endings. She’s different—caring. And she’s not how you’re picturing her at all!
“I guess.” She sighs. She’s clearly lying. That’s her tell. She sighs deeply and responds. Or she fidgets and her voice rises a little. Yeah, I know her.
They share a lunch and it’s sick how much I want to be there. I want to be at that damn table comforting her so badly it actually makes my insides queasy. The urge to walk over and kick Derrick’s ass is running strong. Friends or not, that’s how this shit starts.
“Can I ask you something?” Derrick says.
She laughs. “I don’t know, can you?”
“May I ask you something?”
“Yes.”
He looks at her. Like he’s deep in thought. It makes me want to punch him that much more. “Why Caleb? I mean, he’s my best friend, but he’s a player. Hard-core player. So I guess I can see the appeal, but … why?”
“It wasn’t that. I mean, yes, I guess I have a thing for bad boys. But … there’s more to him than just that. A lot of people don’t see it, I guess.”
He shrugs. “Yeah. But Caleb is a dick to girls. I guess I just don’t get it.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. He’s just … well, he’s Caleb. He doesn’t give a fuck who he hurts. If the girl starts falling in love, my boy runs. And Danielle, well, she fell for him. So he tried running, but looks like something has him tied down to her. If it weren’t for the kid, I don’t think you two would have made it up to this point. He gets bored and leaves. That’s his thing.”
She shrugs. “I guess. I don’t have special powers to show me the future. Or what could have been.”
Is she for real? She’s not going to defend what we had? I told her I loved her! Did she really think I was just saying tha
t just to say it? And piss on him for even backstabbing me. On top of all this shit, that asshat knows Danielle stalked me. She threw herself at me at one party where I was completely tanked. After that, she wouldn’t leave me alone. She’s like the nightmare that wouldn’t end.
“Look. I don’t want to upset you, Sky. I think you’re cool. I really do. I just see you moping and I see how you look at him. Fuck, everyone does. But I’m just trying to tell you, you’re probably better off a little hurt now than whatever number he could have pulled on you later.”
I’ve had enough of this conversation. I start to stand but notice she does the same. “Thanks. You know, for the advice and for helping me out. I’m going to get to class. If you want the rest of this stuff, you can have it.” She pushes her barely touched sandwich and chips toward him. He looks up at her.
“Bulldog, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have … ”
She shakes her head. “It’s fine. Really. I just need to get over it. You’re right.”
She makes her way to the exit. I watch her leave. I think about going after her first, but I don’t. I plop down in her empty seat and eye him up.
“Dude! Where did you come from?” Derrick asks, all startled.
“Nowhere important. So … having fun eating lunch with my girl?”
Derrick raises his brows and shakes his head. “First off, she’s not yours anymore. Second, it’s not like that. Third, she’s cool. Okay? You were right.”
“Asshat! I heard you. Talking shit about me. What the fuck, man?”
“So? It’s not like any of it isn’t true. I’ll tell you everything to your face if you want. You’re a dick to girls. You’re a player. You use them and leave them crushed. She’s lucky she didn’t get in too fucking deep with you, otherwise she would have gone packing back to her dad’s.”
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