by Brandy Bruce
“Mick! Kay! What do you think of our café?”
Mick patted him on the back proudly. “It’s all yours, Ethan. And we’re proud of you.”
“Oh, Ethan!” Miss Kay exclaimed. “It looks wonderful. Congratulations. We both wanted to be here to let you know we support you one hundred percent. I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to see you take over this place. It was time for a new generation to step in.”
“How are the Alaska plans coming along?” Ethan asked.
“Change of plan. We’re heading to Kenya! We want to experience an African safari!” Miss Kay’s smile was ear to ear. Ethan thanked them both for coming and then headed back to the coffee bar as they were seated.
“Hi, Chef. Congratulations on your grand opening!” Isa said. She sipped a cappuccino. “Looks like a good turnout to me,” she commented, scanning the room filled with customers.
“Well, you know how it goes. It’s a novelty today. We’ll see how it looks tomorrow.”
She smiled. “I do know how it goes. Good food brings people back, Ethan. And you’ve got that. I just finished your blueberry pancakes with sausage and sunny-side up eggs. I can promise you I’ll be a repeat customer.”
“Thank you for that, Isa.”
“So did I just hear you say the blueberry pancakes are stellar?”
Isa turned around with a smile as Leo and Mandy joined her at the bar. Ethan blinked in surprise.
“Thanks so much for coming! Where’s Tony?” he asked.
Leo rolled his eyes. “My mother thinks that if she doesn’t get to watch him at least once a day, we’re depriving her.”
Isa laughed and hugged Mandy. “Yes, the blueberry pancakes are great. But I almost ordered the banana waffles with hashbrowns and bacon. You better check the menu, sis.”
“I need to get back to the kitchen,” Ethan said almost apologetically, still moved that Isa’s family had come to his grand opening. But Leo waved him away.
“Go. We understand, Ethan. Run your kitchen.”
* * *
The door swung behind Ethan as he left the dining room and Isa turned her attention back to her cappuccino.
“You didn’t tell me you were coming,” she said to Leo. He shrugged.
“We wanted to show up for your boyfriend’s big day, Isa. That shouldn’t surprise you.”
“He’s not my—”
“Isa,” Leo and Mandy said together.
She chuckled. “Fine. Call him whatever you want.”
“How’s his back doing?” Mandy asked, exchanging a glance with Isa. She’d noticed it, too, then. Ethan’s tendency to move cautiously, the flinch he made at times, the signs that he was in pain.
“I’m not sure. He says therapy is going slowly. I know it’s been a difficult healing process.”
“I hope he’s not overdoing it with all this cooking. He’ll be on his feet for hours,” Leo noted. Isa didn’t answer. The same thought troubled her. “He probably doesn’t realize how all-consuming restaurant ownership is,” Leo continued.
Mandy poked his shoulder but Isa just swallowed hard, knowing Leo could be right. Her reservations about dating someone with a restaurant started to resurface.
“It’s a café, Isa. I think he’ll have more flexibility,” Mandy said.
I doubt it.
“It’s not just his flexibility, Isa. Don’t blame Ethan,” Leo said, inspecting the menu. “How’s your schedule at the moment?”
Isa just shook her head. “Don’t ask. Especially with Maggie’s absence at the E.R., I’m taking on more shifts. Then I’ve got Dad to think of. Plus, I keep trying to run up to the NICU to see Maggie and Bianca as often as possible. Then there’s Tony—”
“Don’t drag your nephew into this. He’s an infant!” Leo argued.
“Puh-lease. He adores me and I refuse to neglect my relationship with him.”
Mandy chuckled. “You do have a lot going on, Isa. Something’s got to give, sweetheart.”
Leo flipped over the menu to look at the lunch section. “Hey! Did you see this?”
Under Soups, Isa read the words Isabella’s Cheddar Corn Chowder. The corners of her mouth turned up inadvertently.
“Since when are you an expert on corn chowder?” Leo teased.
Isa swatted his hand. “I have skills you know not of. But really, I just made a few tweaks to his recipe. It needed cheese.”
“And he named it after you. That was sweet, Isa,” Mandy said.
It really was. He’s sweet. And gorgeous. And kind. And a dedicated believer. And a restaurant owner. And someone who wants more from me than I might be able to give. He’s someone who could break my heart.
What am I so afraid of? Isa sighed, frustrated with her own mixed emotions. Isn’t this what I’ve wanted? Some great guy to drop into my life and spin me on a whirlwind romance? Ethan is the kind of guy I’ve always looked for. Why would I hold back now?
Why do I feel like I’m still waiting for someone else?
* * *
Friday morning Isa pulled into the South Denver Neurology Center parking lot, quickly finding a spot and walking to the entrance, where Leo was waiting for her. He held out a Starbucks cup and she accepted it gratefully.
“Mom and Dad are already inside. They’ll begin the tests in about twenty minutes. I’m glad you could make it,” Leo said, pushing the door open for her. Isa stifled a yawn.
“Of course. How are Mandy and the baby?”
Leo didn’t even try to stifle his yawn. “We’re all exhausted. Tony was up every hour last night.”
Isa squeezed her brother’s side sympathetically. They joined their parents in the examination room for the consultation. After myriad tests, it now appeared that the deep brain stimulation surgery was a practical option for Isabella’s father. They listened to the instructions on the necessary preparations prior to surgery and agreed that they would all return the following Thursday for her father’s operation.
Isa clasped her hands together as she sat next to Leo.
Oh, God. I hope this is the best thing for Dad. Please let this help him.
Leo left to go to his office at the Franklin Street restaurant after the meeting, and Isa shooed him off, knowing he had payroll to take care of and that he was scheduled to cook for the Fifteenth Street location that evening. She drove her parents home, where she helped get her father settled and spent time processing the upcoming surgery with both of them. Talking about it seemed to help them with their decision, so Isa gladly sat and talked through everything she could with both of them. But by one o’clock she could barely keep her eyes open. Instead of driving home, she just fell onto the bed in her parents’ guest room and shut her eyes.
She woke up after seven, stiff and unhappy at the thought that she’d have to go to work soon. She rolled over and looked out the window, light still streaming in. She loved the longer days of summer. It was the long nights that felt as though they were killing her. She pushed work out of her mind; going to the hospital was the last thing she wanted to do.
Isa wondered about Ethan. Other than texting back and forth during the past few days, she hadn’t seen him or talked to him since the café’s grand opening. She knew he was glued to the restaurant right now, and she truly understood. He needed the café to be a success. And in reality, she didn’t have any more free time than he did. She couldn’t fault him for being so busy. She did, however, worry about whether he was overdoing it with his injuries.
She sighed and decided to call him. He answered by the second ring.
“Isa! I’ve missed you.” His warm, immediate greeting filled her heart.
He’s so open. He’s so willing.
“How’s the café?”
“It’s been a really good first week. I think I’m gaining some r
egulars. And not just the guys next door.”
“I hope you’re not doing all the cooking, Ethan. You can’t be on your feet that much while you’re doing therapy. Your body needs rest.”
“I know. I’m trying to delegate. But I’m cooking as much as I can. I love it, Isa.”
Her chest tightened at the honesty in that statement. He sounded so happy. How in the world had she ended up interested in a guy who owned a restaurant? Hadn’t she said a million times that she’d never get involved with someone in the restaurant business? Yet here she was, dating a fireman who doubled as a chef.
“The corn chowder seems to be a favorite,” he told her.
Isa smiled. “Excellent.” She gave him a quick rundown of her dad’s doctor visit and explained that he’d be having surgery within the next couple of weeks.
“Can I help in any way? Really, Isa, I’m here for you. Anything. All you have to do is ask.”
“I know,” she answered. “Thanks, I’ll let you know. But I know you’re busy right now.”
“I’m not too busy for you.” His voice was so firm he sounded bothered.
“It’s okay that you’ve got a full schedule, Ethan. So do I,” Isa said, matching his firm tone. “You can’t act like you’ve got all the free time in the world when you just started your own business.”
“I’m not—I’m just…” She could hear Ethan inhale. “I’m just saying that I have time for you. I’ll make time for you.”
Isa didn’t answer. The fact that he was already trying to reassure her that he could fit her into his life amid his restaurant duties rubbed her the wrong way. For as long as she could remember, her father and brother had done the same thing. She tried to shake off the annoyance. She knew Ethan was trying.
“I know you will. But we can only do so much with our schedules. I’ve got a lot going on right now, too.”
“I know. But there’s got to be a way for us to do this. Lots of people lead busy lives and still have time for a relationship.”
There’s that optimism of his, Isa thought. She mustered the ability to end on a mostly positive note before hanging up. She’d sensed they were on the verge of an argument and she just didn’t have the energy for it. She needed to take herself home to get ready for work.
She walked through the nearly empty E.R. that night knowing that she was really too tired to be on the schedule. Her exhaustion resulted in her being snippy and easily frustrated with her colleagues. During her break, she ran up to the NICU to check on Bianca, hoping some time with the precious baby might help steady her temper. Maggie had told Isa that Bianca would be released from the hospital soon. Isa relaxed and spent a few moments rocking Bianca, who’d just had a feeding.
Isa stared down at the teeny baby. She seemed so small compared to Leo’s strong eight-pound-thirteen-ounce baby Tony. Bianca felt delicate and breakable. Isa breathed in the smell of her, dreaming of what it might be like to hold her own baby one day.
Small or large, healthy or frail, girl or boy—it must be the most marvelous feeling in the world to hold your own little one in your arms. To know he or she belongs to you. To know that you’re his or her mother, to feel that intense love engulf you.
Isa didn’t want to pray, but she couldn’t seem to avoid it. The words just drifted from her heart.
God, you know my heart’s desire for a family. You know how much I’d love to have a baby of my own and a husband of my own. Please…
But as she walked back down to the E.R. in the stillness of the night, her hands stuck in her pockets, Isa thought of her ever-growing list of obligations and responsibilities.
I can barely hold my head above water now—how could I add mother and wife to that list?
How could I not if I finally met the right guy? Those things have been wishes in my heart for so long. Now here comes Ethan, saying all the right things, doing all the right things—but how do I know? And why does this great guy finally show up right in the middle of all my disarray? I’m so unsure of everything. I’m so unsure of me. I’m so unsure of You.
She shook back her hair, feeling quiet and lonely and drained. She wanted to go home and crawl into bed and actually wake up feeling rested. She wanted to lie down and have her mind stop sprinting. Alone in the elevator, waiting to reach the E.R., a verse inundated her thoughts.
I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
The words sounded like a whispered promise. But promises eluded Isa. To her, life felt like an overly crowded schedule—too full, too much. Peace and relief seemed just a little out of reach. And an abundant life? At this point, Isa couldn’t even picture it.
Chapter 12
The following Thursday morning, Ethan walked down the corridor of the South Denver Neurology Center in search of the waiting room. Isa sat up straight when she saw him enter the room and a look of relief covered her face. Ethan couldn’t help wondering when she’d realize that she could count on him. He wanted her to expect him to show up for her. She always seemed so surprised by his presence, by his pursuit of her. She jumped up and took the eco-friendly bag from his hands.
“Tell me you brought me chocolate,” she said, looking through the bag. He grinned.
“Hello to you, too. And you know I brought you chocolate. The stuffed croissants are somewhere in the bottom. There are some bagels and cheese Danishes, as well. How’s your dad?”
“In surgery. No word yet. What are you even doing here? You have to be at the café!” Isa said, handing the bag to her mother, who joined them and gave Ethan a hug.
“I know. I need to get back. But I wanted you to know that I’m here, and that I’m praying for you.”
Isa curled into him. She felt small and fragile in his arms, though he knew her to be one of the toughest women he’d ever met. He liked the combination. Their last conversation had perturbed him. Isa never seemed to have the confidence that he was available to her.
Is she available to you yet? He mulled the thought as Isa rested her head on his chest. Sometimes.
She’s right. Ethan felt discouraged. Neither of us is that available.
Over the top of Isa’s head, he saw her mother watching them, a surprised smile on her face.
He left the hospital, with Isa assuring him she’d keep him posted on her dad’s progress. He rushed back to the café and took over in the kitchen, both slightly overwhelmed and thrilled to see the kitchen humming and orders coming through. The café was holding its own. The public’s curiosity might have waned a bit since the grand opening, but he’d maintained a steady stream of customers. He’d been right in his assumption that the location was ideal and the café just needed some tender loving care.
He slid into his role as chef, savoring the experience of cooking for his own restaurant. It still shocked him how much he enjoyed owning a café. If it weren’t for the nearly constant ache in his back, Ethan would have wondered if cooking was his second calling. As much as he loved fighting fires, the pleasure of running his own kitchen was a close rival.
As Ethan grilled cheeseburgers and plated sandwiches, he thought of how easily he’d adapted to life as a firefighter. The heavy gear, the substantial weight of responsibility that had come with the job—all of it had suited him like a favorite jacket. It had just fit, as though he’d been meant to be a firefighter all along. And yet running his kitchen felt just as natural, just as thrilling and just as satisfying.
Could he really do both? The twinge in his back as he stirred a huge pot of broccoli cheese soup made him doubt whether he could do either very well. By midafternoon Ethan let his assistant cook take over and he sat down in his office for a break. A short text from Isa had reassured him that her father had come through the surgery, and so far things looked positive. He held on to that good news as he made his way to Incline Physical Therapy and W
ellness Center at five that evening.
“Keira,” he said once they’d worked through a number of exercises, “I don’t think I’ve improved very much over the last couple of weeks.”
“I know it’s slowgoing, and really, after nearly six weeks of therapy, you should be farther along. Isaac spoke with your doctor and we’re recommending an MRI. At this point, we need to see if anything was overlooked in the X-ray. Your pain level is a definite concern. The meds won’t maintain the same level of effectiveness as your body adapts to them. But don’t forget that you’ve just taken on a whole new level of stress, Ethan. Right at the time when you should be healing and taking it easy, you’ve decided to become a business owner.”
“I know,” he admitted. “But I’m trying not to take on more than I have to. I’m not doing all the cooking. I’m not lifting. I’m trying to get the rest I need.”
Keira put a pillow under his knees as he began his heat and stem therapy. “The MRI is necessary. And it should be done right away. Someone will be contacting you soon to set that up. After the MRI, we’ll know where we are with therapy and what you need to move forward.”
He nodded absentmindedly, his thoughts now on the restaurant, the money he’d invested into this new venture, the fact that it would probably take months before he saw a profit, if then. The stress started to inch its way all through him.
God, I hope I’ve done the right thing. What if things never go back to the way they were before the accident? What if I’m always hurting? What if my life is permanently limited by this?
This time, Ethan couldn’t talk himself out of feeling overcome by his situation.
* * *
Isa flipped through the channels, even though the TV was muted, in her dad’s recovery room. Leo had just left to drive their mother home. They had decided that Isa would stay overnight. She knew Leo needed to go home to Mandy and Tony. And she didn’t mind. It was her night off anyway, and she would rather be on a cot in her father’s hospital room than anywhere else. She wanted to be there if he woke up and needed anything.