What The Heart Finds

by Gadziala, Jessica

  Eric laughed, snaking a hand around her belly. “An opossum,” he said quietly. “ugly little devil.”

  “Opossums are cute,” she objected, pulling out of his grip which felt too good.

  “Yeah until you go to throw your trash in the can one night and find one in there hissing at you.”

  “Well you scared it,” Lena objected. “You didn't...”

  “Bash him with a hammer?” Eric asked, his tone entertained. “No, baby. I threw the lid on and turned the can on its side by the woods. You like animals?”

  “Only the ones that cant help themselves,” she admitted, surprising herself. She had never considered herself a huge animal person. She had hardly ever even had a pet. But she did sort-of have a soft spot for the small, furry kinds. “I used to spend hours at the pet store looking at the rabbits.”

  Eric grinned behind her. He could totally see her with one of those fluffy white angora bunnies. It would suit her.

  “Do you have any pets?” she asked, picturing him with some big, goofy dog.

  “No,” he said, falling into step beside her. He grabbed her wrist. “Wait. Let me jump down this first and help you. It's kinda hard to see where it ends if you haven't been over it a dozen times. Don't need you twisting your ankle. I'd have to carry you all the way back to town.”

  “Yeah definitely don't want that,” she said, her tone lighter than she intended it. “So how much further?” she asked as he threw himself down a steep decline, landing effortlessly on his feet and reaching up toward her.

  “We're almost there,” he said and watched her eye him suspiciously. “You need to jump. Don't worry, I'll catch you.”

  Lena looked around and down. She really didn't have a choice. She took a breath and threw herself forward. The falling sensation flooded her system, making her stomach flip-flop in panic until she fell against Eric, her arms desperately grabbing around his neck, her legs around his hips.

  Her breath whooshed out of her quickly and she giggled, a full-on school girl giggle. “I didn't think it was that far,” she admitted, pushing her chest away from his and looking down at him.

  “Yeah I wouldn't have done that,” Eric admitted with a laugh. “That was some blind faith there, baby.”

  “Hey,” she objected, slamming her fist against his chest. “you said I could trust you.”

  “Well...” he said, looking sheepish. “I caught you, didn't I?”

  “But you weren't sure you would,” she objected, suddenly realizing how tightly her legs were wrapped around him. Her dress had hiked up around her butt and she felt Eric's belt buckle press against her panties.

  “I was about eighty-percent sure,” he smiled.

  “But twenty-percent sure you might drop me on my ass!”

  “And what a nice ass it is,” he chuckled, his hands threatening to slip lower.

  “Alright, hands-y,” she said, grabbing his shoulders, slipping her legs from around his waist, and putting her feet back on the ground. He automatically reached out and grabbed the hem of her dress, pulling it down over her thighs. His fingers brushed against her skin unnecessarily, intimately. “Show... show me to the stream,” she fumbled, her heart racing in her chest.

  “Come on,” he said, his eyes jumping from intense to carefree in a breath.

  They walked for another few short minutes, past the biggest weeping willow tree she had ever seen before she could finally hear trickling water. “Oh,” she breathed out. “you made it sound like it was something I could just dip my toes in,” she said, looking out to where the land plummeted down into a quickly moving current of water. It had layers, not quite waterfalls, but cliffs that the water cascaded off of before leveling off. “I could almost swim in this.”

  “Well... float maybe on a good day. Right now it should just about come past your ankles. Go on, step in. Wash those puppies off,” he said, looking down at her bare feet that must have been hurting. There was no way she had trekked through that part of the woods barefoot and gotten away unscathed. It was actually kind of impressive that she hadn't complained at all.

  “It's safe?” she asked, eyeing the water. “Like... nothing is gonna bite me or anything?”

  “Well... no promises,” Eric said, rubbing his chin. “but you should be fine.”

  Lena stepped into the water, careful to not step on any jagged rocks, enjoying the still frigid water moving around her feet. “Oh,” she said, bending and sinking her hand into the water. She held up something small and round. “I've never seen a rock this red before. Here,” she said, tossing it toward him. “hold onto that for me.”

  Eric slipped the rock into his pocket, watching Lena kick her feet out in the water like a child would. He knew there was more to her than work clothes and the uptight, carefully guarded shield she wore. “So was this a good idea for a date?” he asked, moving toward the bank and lowering himself down on a fallen tree.

  “So much better than making awkward conversation at the diner,” she conceded, running her feet over the smooth surfaces of the pebbles on the floor of the stream.

  “So Lena Edwards,” Eric said, his voice soft as he said her name. “tell me something you don't usually tell people.”

  Lena looked over her shoulder at him, smiling a sly smile. “Is this some ploy to invoke intimacy?” she asked and watched him roll his eyes. “Fine. I'll play along. My father was a truck driver and was almost never around.”

  “And your mother?” Eric asked, trying to imagine a young Lena. Was she so restrained then?

  “She worked whatever odd jobs she could fit around my school schedule.”

  “Where did you grow up?”

  “In the city,” she said, shrugging a shoulder, but her body had gotten tense again. “A really awful area of the city,” she admitted, not looking at him. “I used to get woken up by meth heads on a bad trip a few nights a week. You know... normal growing up stuff,” she said, attempting levity. “What about you? Aside from Liam... do you have any family around here?”

  “No,” Eric admitted, feeling tense himself. “We lived here with my father. Our mother died a long time ago.”

  “I'm sorry,” Lena said automatically, moving closer to the bank where he was sitting. “So what was your father like? A pain in the ass like you and your brother?”

  “Hey don't be mad at Liam just because you're a sore loser,” he smiled.

  “He told you?” she objected, moving out of the water and sitting down next to him, careful to leave several inches between them. “I beat him once.”

  “You two might be the only people ever to actually brag about winning at backgammon,” he said, looking over at her. “But yeah... our father was a real piece of work. No one could tell him anything. Maude used to march over to the garage, dragging us by our ears, and tell him he better get us in line.”

  “That sounds like her,” Lena agreed. “What did your dad do?”

  “Thank her for her concern but tell her to mind her own damn business. That is was important for boys to run amok. That he was raising us to be strong men, not polite members of society.”

  Lena laughed. “He seemed to succeed.”

  Eric looked over at her, smiling, his eyes amused. “Think I'm a strong man, do ya'?”

  “Oh don't read so much into... what are you doing?” she asked, watching Eric's hand reach out and toy with her bun.

  “How come you never wear your hair down?” he asked, sinking his fingers between the plaits and working her hair free.

  “I... dunno...” she said, wincing at how breathless she sounded. “It gets in the way at work, I guess.”

  “You're not at work,” he added, his breath hot on her neck.

  “Habit,” she said, holding herself rigid, trying not to move so she didn't touch him. Because just his fingers in her hair was driving her to distraction. She closed her eyes, the feeling soothing and sensual.

  She felt her hair starting to fall freely around
her face, a few strands at a time, until she felt the full weight of it to one side of her face. Eric's hands slipped into the strands at the base of her head, pulling gently so her hair fell more naturally. She felt herself leaning toward him, wanting more. And not a part of her wanted to fight it.

  “Much better,” Eric said, turning her to face him. “You're beautiful,” he said and her eyes flew open. He winked at her, smiling devilishly. “So you like having your hair played with, huh?”

  “What? No I don't. I'm just... tired. It's late,” she objected, fumbling for her purse to find her phone and realizing she had left it back at the inn.

  “It's barely nine,” he told her. “Just admit you like being with me. I promise I wont tell anyone,” he said, smirking. “You can keep your squeaky clean reputation.”

  “I don't have a squeaky clean reputation,” she objected, but even as she said it she knew it was true. Regardless of how she saw herself as a person, she projected a very cautious, very staid persona.

  “Want to prove that?” Eric asked, his fingers suddenly stroking down her jawbone.

  She shouldn't. She knew she really shouldn't. But what could it hurt? She was going to be gone in another week or so and she would never have to see him again. No awkward greetings in work elevators or avoiding eye contact on the subway. If there ever was a situation where she could let herself go a little bit, this was it.

  She looked up, her hazel eyes heavy-lidded.

  It was all the permission he needed.

  His lips crushed down on hers, hard and demanding, with none of the gentleness of the first time. Lena's hands went behind his back, laying on his shoulders and pulling him closer. Eric's teeth bit into her lower lip once, hard, drawing a whimper out of the back of her throat. Eric's arms went around her lower back, crushing for a moment before he pulled her over and put her down on his lap.

  Lena's legs went around his hips as she slipped her tongue inside Eric's mouth. She felt his heartbeat against her breast, hard and frantic as her own. She felt the desire growing, deep in her belly, almost intolerable in its intensity. Her skirt was hiked up around her upper thighs and she lowered her hips down on his, feeling his hardness settle against her heat.

  She moaned against Eric's lips. His fingers dug into her hips, keeping her in place. His lips pulled away from hers then, watching her for a long moment with his heavy-lidded eyes. Lena felt the nerves try to surface, the rational part of herself trying to break through the heavy haze of desire.

  Lena moved her hips against him, all thoughts flying out of her mind as she felt his hardness press against the juncture of her thighs. Eric's eyes closed, a low, almost growling sound escaping his hips.

  She lowered her face against his neck. Emboldened, her hips ground against him slowly, reminding her body of sensations she had been denying it for far too long.

  One of Eric's hands went up and across her back, holding onto her shoulder as she gently moved against him. He could feel her heat even through several layers of material. She was making low, whimpering sounds against his neck, pleading almost. He held her tighter, thrusting his hips upward against her as she stroked her heat across him. A gasp escaped her lips, her hips moving faster. Her breath was coming out in strangled exhales and he knew she was close. It was taking every bit of his self-control to keep himself from ripping off her panties and burying himself deep inside her. Giving her what she was really begging for.

  “Cum for me baby,” he whispered, turning his head and kissing the top of her hair.

  Lena closed her eyes, his cock thrusting against her as she moved, hitting her clit and driving her almost to the edge.

  There was a loud snapping sound behind them. Lena's eyes flew open, quickly scrambling off of Eric's lap. “What was that?” she yelped, her voice husky and foreign.

  “Deer,” Eric said, his own voice deep, as he pointed.

  Lena sat down on the log next to him, looking off into the woods until she found the source of the noise. A big, round-eyed doe was standing near the edge of the water, looking over at them as if considering if they were a threat or not for a long moment before she finally pranced away.

  Lena pulled her knees together with painful pressure to try to ease the chaos that was going on between her thighs. The aching need that was begging to be fulfilled. The almost overwhelming urge to climb back on his lap and finish what they had started. She tried to clear her mind, focus on slowing her breathing, to think of anything but how close Eric was and how much she wanted him.

  Eric looked over at her, her eyes far away, guarded. She was breathing deeply, trying to bring herself out of her own desire, the regret probably starting to settle in. His arm reached, out, settling his hand on the warm skin of her thigh just barely above her knee. Grounding, comforting.

  Lena looked down at his hand, his wide palm work hardened and found that reassuring. She wasn't going to regret it. She knew that would be her normal go-to emotion. But there was no reason for that. So what... they had dry humped in the woods like a couple of horny teenagers. No big deal. Certainly not something she needed to freak out about.

  But, she reminded herself firmly, not something she had any plans on repeating.

  She stood up quickly, Eric's hand falling away, leaving her skin feeling cold. “We should get back,” Lena said, happy with how strong her voice sounded.

  Eric let out a long exhale, trying to not laugh at how winded she sounded. She was putting her walls back up slowly, brick by brick, losing most of the carefree spirit he had been graced with that evening. A brief glance into the Lena underneath all the fuss.

  “Alright sweetheart,” he said, standing up and grimacing slightly at the friction in his pants.

  Lena was already moving back from where they came from, her hands buried in her fair, furiously trying to set it to rights again.

  She had insisted on slipping into her broken heels as soon as they emerged from the woods, walking stiffly to keep from knocking the heel completely loose. She walked a few steps ahead of him, stopping at the top step of the inn porch like a barrier.

  “Thanks for showing me the stream,” she said formally.

  “Yeah baby,” he said, smiling sardonically. “anytime,” he said and slowly turned his back and walked away.

  Lena walked into the inn, finding Emily sitting on the top of the reception desk, still in her dress, as she thumbed through some kind of paperwork.

  “Ten o'clock,” she commented as Lena walked past. “Eric is losing his touch.”

  “Yeah,” Lena tried to smile. “something like that”

  Except it was nothing like that. And she was going to have to take a long, cold bath to try to forget that fact.

  Nine

  Lena didn't leave the inn the next day, spending her time responding to work emails and filling Elliott in on the bachelor auction, leaving out the bits about her actually doing any bidding, as well as the concept of the Spring Into Summer dance she had heard about. The town committees always seemed to be planning some kind of event for the entire town to enjoy.

  She tried to convince herself that her staying in had everything to do with work and nothing to do with avoiding running into Eric.

  She had taken a bath for over an hour the night before, the water frigid and punishing. Her desire for him was at odds with her rational thought. On one hand, what could a little fling hurt? On the other, she had to face the man to retrieve the vehicle that would take her back to her life. So if things went south, she would have one hell of an awkward interaction. And she really didn't need any distractions either. She was way too behind on finding out information. If she didn't deliver Elliott some kind of idea of what the books looked like, she was going to be on the receiving end of a nasty email, or call, or worse yet... an awful face-to-face meeting.

  Ultimately, rational thought won out. Which was great except she couldn't seem to control herself around the man. So her only safe bet was to hide away,
get some distance, build up some kind of defense toward him.

  She didn't know what it was about him. Not even with her first boyfriend did she ever feel quite so out of control. So drawn in. And she didn't even have any guards up at back then. But he had been quiet, unassuming. A true book nerd who was obsessed with silly things she had found fascinating. Like the names of constellations and the complicated mythical worlds he lost himself in for days on end. There hadn't been a charming bone in that guy's body. He didn't paw at her like teenaged boys were supposed to. He took what was offered in an almost detached sort of way. It had been easy. She had always been in control.

  It had become a pattern for her as she went into adulthood. The more she threw herself into her studies, and later, her work... the more restricted she kept herself. The more controlling she became. She shot down the men who showed interest in her and pursued her own conquests instead. Always the one in power. Always the one to initiate. Always the one to end things.

  Which was ultimately the problem with Eric O'reilly. He wasn't easily shut down. She had tried to refuse him. But he had been undeterred. He was resilient and determined. And she was out of her depths. Because she had never met a man with such unfair animal magnetism. He was inhumanely good looking and charming to an absolutely disarming degree.

  And he took the lead.

  What was that about? All the men she had met had been tentative, cautious. Afraid of rejection. They would awkwardly look at her at the end of dates, their internal struggle clear on their faces. Should I or shouldn't I kiss her? And they almost never did.

  Then there was Eric, seemingly immune to the discomfort that was rejection from the opposite sex. Maybe, she thought with a sigh, that was because he had never really been rejected.

  Except with Anna, she reminded herself. Sam's pretty, sweet wife. He had loved her and she had chosen someone else. Maybe that had been the breaking point. Maybe that was when he had decided to just... go for it. Throw himself in. To hell with the consequences.