Regrets of The Fallen (Victis Honor Book 1)

by Jake Taylor

Isabella managed a weak smile. The thing with the priests or the thing with the dogs?

  The… wow, both of them. I can’t believe I forgot about the dogs.

  I can’t believe you two are fondly reminiscing about humiliating men of the cloth, Bai interrupted in a haughtier tone.

  They had it coming. It’s hard to feel sorry for them.

  She’s right, Bai. And Bale, how could you forget about the dogs? That was my favorite part.

  Maybe it was the best for you, but the look on their faces when you-

  “Bella.”

  Isabella realized her eyes had fallen closed while reminiscing. She hadn’t noticed it, but Haruka’s look reminded her that she didn’t know she was having a conversation in her head; to her she probably looked like she was falling asleep. “I’m okay, Ruki,” she assured her quietly, focusing on keeping her eyes open again. “Just getting a bit tired is all.” She wasn’t nearly as worried as Haruka looked, but then, it was hard to keep getting worried after two centuries of constant injuries.

  Haruka knew that getting tired was never a good sign. Fortunately luck, God or fate was on her side as she saw a sign denoting a doctor’s practice. She headed for it and kicked open the door without hesitation. Fortune continued to shine on her as the doctor was inside, writing something at a desk; she must not have been the type to enjoy crowds. The woman had red hair in a casual, tousled look, and wore a light brown robe as well as reading glasses that she removed as she stood up at the sound of the door bursting open, taking in the sight before her.

  “Side room,” she said quickly, moving to open a door. Haruka went through it and laid Isabella on the clean bed inside. The doctor immediately pulled a cart of tools and supplies over, as well as a chair. After washing her hands she took a seat and set to moving the robe out of the way. Haruka had never much thought about modesty but for some reason she instantly looked away as the robe was pulled from Isabella’s body. She did notice a large number of scars on the bare skin before she managed to avert her eyes, however.

  The doctor took in the scars as she began to clean the blood away. “Injured in a fight, I assume?”

  Isabella gave a wry smile. “What… gave it away?”

  “The fact that your body looks like a collection of every scar you might find across an entire military regiment was a big clue.” She inspected the wound. “What exactly did this?”

  “Shadow,” Haruka informed her, half looking over her shoulder. “Magic. Formed spear.”

  “That explains the fact that it’s already becoming infected,” the doctor said with a sigh, turning to her supplies and rooting around, pulling out first one bottle and then another. “First things first, then.” She turned to Haruka, holding out a bottle of blue liquid. “You, help her drink this.” After Haruka took it with a nod the doctor opened the other bottle, one with white liquid. “This is going to hurt quite a bit.” She poured it over the wound and steam rose from it, along with a hissing sound like cold water falling on a hot radiator. Isabella didn’t react with anything more than a sigh, however; still, the doctor didn’t seem surprised at the lack of reaction, and given the scars it was easy to see why.

  Haruka moved to the other side of the bed, trying to keep her eyes focused on Isabella’s face. Bella watched her and gave her a weak grin. “What’s wrong, Haru? Haven’t you seen a naked woman before?”

  Haruka colored, fixing her eyes on the grey ones watching her. “Yes.”

  “Just not one as… hot as me, huh?”

  Haruka chuckled, opening the bottle. “Body, injured… Confidence, fine.”

  Isabella laughed softly and Haruka lifted her head, helping her drink the blue liquid. She coughed as she finished it. “Ugh… Oh, God, what was that?”

  “It will help your body fight off the infection from the inside,” the doctor said as she finished cleaning the wound. She grinned at Isabella’s reaction. “So the disinfectant burning your open wound is fine, but medicine with a bad taste is too far?”

  Isabella grimaced in disgust. “’Bad’ is an understatement. That was… horrid. Unfair, even. Unfit for human consumption.”

  “Not human,” Haruka said with an amused smile.

  “It’s a saying. And it doesn’t matter, that taste was never meant for any living creature.”

  “Keep whining and I’ll give you a double dose.” The doctor began to sew the wound closed as best she could. “This is pretty bad. If I were you I wouldn’t do anything strenuous for a few weeks.”

  Isabella sighed. “That might not be an option. And not by choice.”

  “Then just be careful. Protect the wound. It’s a big wound so these stitches will easily burst until the skin knits together. If your body wasn’t in such good shape I wouldn’t even recommend getting out of bed.”

  “Trying to keep things together is the story of my life,” Isabella muttered to herself, barely loud enough to be heard. She closed her eyes, trying to ignore the increasing distress in her body. Her condition had been bothering her already until she took the hit; combining that with blood loss was not helping.

  Haruka frowned at Isabella’s face, noticing beads of sweat. She put her hand on Isabella’s forehead and was surprised at the heat she felt there. She looked at the doctor. “Fever?”

  “Fever?” The doctor looked up, looking over Isabella. “That’s not good… That could mean the infection spread faster than I’d thought.”

  Haruka shrugged. “Already sick,” she stated. “Part of that?”

  “She’s sick?” The doctor looked at Isabella. “What are you sick with? This is important.”

  Isabella looked at her blearily. She was obviously out of it now, barely able to focus. “What am I…? There’s… no word for it. Just… a condition.”

  “What condition?”

  “Nothing… to worry about.”

  The doctor sighed. “There is nothing more frustrating than a stubborn patient. Alright, since I don’t know if this fever is caused by a preexisting condition or by infection, I’m just going to have to keep you here for a day and see how it progresses.”

  Isabella nodded. “That’s understandable. Thank you… I’ve got plenty to pay,” she said, motioning to a bag tied to her belt.

  “That’s good to know. I wouldn’t turn you away, but I don’t particularly like working for free.”

  Isabella smiled. “You’re kind, doctor…?”

  “Vivian Heart.”

  Haruka blinked. “Dr. Heart?”

  “I’ve heard all the jokes,” she said with a wry smile.

  “I’ll let you know if I think of a unique one,” Isabella said quietly. “I’m Isabella Enyo… My friend is Haruka Saito.”

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you both, though it would be more so under better circumstances.” She looked at Haruka. “I’m done with the stitching. Help her sit up so I can bandage her.”

  Haruka nodded, gently taking Isabella’s shoulders, though she seemed to be able to sit up under her own power. Haruka helped the doctor wrap around Bella’s waist, trying to keep her eyes focused only on her stomach, which seemed to amuse Isabella and Vivian both. After it was done the doctor cleaned the area again and then stood up to wash her hands in a nearby basin. “That bed’s bloody now, I’ll need to wash the sheets. You’ll rest in another room.”

  Haruka easily lifted Isabella again as they moved rooms. She was placed in a new, more comfortable bed. Vivian brought a more comfortable chair into the room. “Let me know if you feel any worse or if the wound gets a different feeling; Shadow magic can have odd effects.” She looked at Haruka. “And you let me know if anything changes.”

  Haruka nodded, taking a seat as the doctor left. Isabella’s bloody robe was taken to be washed with the sheets and she was given a soft, simple one to wear. She looked at Haruka as the monk pulled the blanket over her. “Sorry the day was kind of ruined.”

  Ruka raised an eyebrow. “Sorry? After me.”

  “I know they were after you, but… Well
it still feels like my fault.”

  “Blame yourself,” Haruka said with a sigh, “for everything.”

  “I’ll try not to.” She turned onto her uninjured side to look at Haruka. “Think we’ll ever get a break where neither of us is injured?”

  Haruka reached out to brush dark blue locks from Bella’s sweaty forehead, giving her a dry smile. “No.”

  Isabella sighed. “I didn’t think so.” She closed her eyes, smiling as she felt the hand remain in her hair. “I hope you aren’t blaming yourself for this whole incident…”

  Haruka's fingers playing lightly in Bella’s hair. “Right choice,” she stated with conviction. “Dangerous… Troublesome…” She gave a shrug. “Worth it.”

  Isabella opened her eyes to study her. “What’s worth it? The freedom? Me?” Haruka gave her a look and she couldn’t hold it, looking away. “I don’t see how I’m worth it.”

  “Stop,” Haruka said firmly. “Annoying.”

  The knight smiled. “Alright. I’ll try to think better of myself like you seem to do. It’s just… Old habits die hard, you know?”

  “Shouldn’t be.”

  “Even if it shouldn’t be a habit, it is. It’s just one of the many, many things you’ll have to accept if you want me as a friend.”

  “I do,” the monk replied with a nod. “But not accept.” She tilted her head. “Fix.”

  “You think you’re going to fix everything that’s wrong with me?”

  “I’ll try.”

  “That’s…” Isabella sighed. “It’s hard to explain how grateful I am that you’re even willing to try. You know, Haru… I’ve never had a friend. Not a real one. Certainly not one that cares like you do. It may sound silly, but… If you go for long enough with no one else caring about you, you stop caring about yourself, too.” She saw that Haruka was paying close attention to her words so she continued, making sure she spoke honestly. “I’ve just been… waiting, I guess, for a long time. Waiting around. Emotionally, I mean. Life has been pretty stagnant these last twenty years.”

  Haruka made note of that date, believing it was important. Now, though, was not the time to ask about it, as Isabella continued, “Something changed the moment I met you. It’s too soon to understand what, exactly… All I know is that I care what happens to me now. For the first time, I want to keep going, I want to see what happens next, I want to experience more.” She sighed, closing her eyes. “I apologize if this is… sudden, or too personal. But I just want you to know you’re giving me something to live for, and that’s something I’ve never had.” She opened her eyes, attempting a light-hearted smile. “No pressure, though.”

  There really wasn’t a response to such a heartfelt expression of emotions. Being told you were that important to someone was not something most people experienced, let alone Haruka. Isabella was an intense woman; her emotions were strong and she shared them readily, an action that was obviously a result of her never having had anyone to share them with before. Suddenly Haruka felt glad that she was the one to be opened up to, as someone else could easily take advantage of that. She smiled gratefully, speaking softly in a tone that she hoped would carry her own emotion. “That’s… important,” she said thickly. “To me.”

  Isabella sighed in contentment, setting her hand on Haruka’s and squeezing it before allowing herself to fall asleep, which, at this point, only took a few seconds. Haruka adjusted her position in the chair, keeping her hand in Isabella’s as she rested her head on her free one and watched her sleep. She was surer than ever that she’d made the right choice; things were getting interesting.

  IXH

  It was raining that night when Isabella awoke. The absolute darkness confused her tired mind for a few moments until her memory came back and she relaxed, listening to the weather. A storm had blown in from the east and unleashed all its power on the small town of Stahl, lashing the wooden buildings in sheets. Bella had no idea what time it was when the incredible thunder woke her, shaking the house, but she knew it was dark, even pitch black in the room. The only light came from the occasional brilliant flash of lightning preceding a near-deafening crack of thunder.

  During one of these flashes she caught the glint of green eyes and realized Haruka was awake. That wasn’t surprising, as sleeping through the thunder would be quite a feat. “Haru?” she said softly, as if afraid to add her voice to the sounds of nature’s fury.

  “Awake?” Haruka’s voice replied in a similar tone. It was an odd thing speaking to someone in total darkness with a thunderstorm raging outside; an odd combination of quiet and loud. Somehow the storm outside made it seem like everything outside of their room was far way, distant; separate, even. The separation from all else made it more intimate, and the darkness not only added to this but seemed like it laid everything bare, in a way, and left openness and honesty; it felt like there was no reason to hide when you were already hidden in the dark.

  “Of course I’m awake,” Isabella responded. “Who could sleep through the apocalypse going on out there?”

  “You,” Haruka said, and Bella couldn’t explain how but she knew Haruka was smirking, “for an hour.”

  “Really?” Isabella pulled the sheet up to her chin and noticed there was an additional blanket on top. “What time is it? Do you know?”

  “Midnight?” The elf guessed. “Close to.”

  “I’ve been sleeping for hours, then.” Isabella yawned, her head moving deeper into the pillow, thick blue hair spilled around her. She peeked back over the blanket towards the spot Haruka’s voice came from. “You don’t have to spend all night in that chair, you know… This bed is big enough.”

  There was silence for a moment, and then an unsure, “Awkward…?”

  “Please,” Isabella responded with a teasing tone, “If we’re going to be travelling together I’m sure we’ll share a bed more than once.”

  After a few moments of nothing the bed finally creaked, and Bella moved over as she felt Haruka climbing in. She then scooted back cautiously until she touched her, then turned onto her side to face her. “Hi,” she said quietly.

  Again that unseen smirk in the darkness- amusement. “Hi.”

  Isabella yawned again before curling up just enough for her head to rest on Haruka’s shoulder. “Better. Would’ve felt guilty the whole time if you slept in that chair.”

  Haruka decided not to mention all the places and positions she could easily sleep in with little trouble. Besides, this was better anyway; what was there to complain about? Haruka sighed as she pulled the blankets back up. “Is better.”

  Bella smiled. “I’m glad you think so. It doesn’t look like you’re one of those people afraid of storms, though.”

  Haruka shook her head. “Are you?”

  Bella laughed softly. “No. Especially not… Well, I mean, they’ve always made me feel even lonelier than normal since they make everything feel so cut off… Now, though, it’s just nice. Kind of fun even.”

  The monk gave a smile. “Glad it changed,” she stated quietly. “Sleep better now?”

  “From now on, probably,” Isabella said contently. “Goodnight.”

  “Night,” Haruka said quickly, hearing the fading tone. She chuckled to herself as she heard Bella sleeping only seconds later despite the cracking thunder, making a soft, almost snoring sound. Honestly, the woman was even endearing while unconscious.

  IXH

  Haruka awoke in the morning to notice a couple of things. First of all, the storm seemed to have abated somewhat, as she heard steady rain rather than torrential, and only distant thunder. The light from the room’s sole window was dim and grey, lending a lazy feeling to the morning. The second – and arguably more important – thing she noticed was that she was virtually being used as a stuffed animal by Isabella, who not only had her head on her chest, but her arms around her and body close.

  Haru didn’t mind it in the least, of course – enjoyed it even – but the way Bella did it just drove home her former loneline
ss. She was practically clinging to her, as if she expected the monk to disappear in the middle of the night. It might take some convincing, Haruka thought to herself, to make her believe I’m here to stay.

  After a few minutes Isabella stirred, waking up and blinking blearily. Her eyes looked around and she grew flushed as she realized her position. She started to move but Haruka laid a hand on her shoulder, pushing her back down. “You’re fine.”

  Isabella smiled, laying her head back down. “I slept… really well,” she said with a hint of surprise. “What about you?”

  Haruka thought it over and realized she was right; she’d expected the situation to feel uncomfortable, having always been a solitary person and certainly never sleeping so close to another. “I did,” she replied. “Unusual.”

  Isabella gave a teasing smile. “Maybe it’s because you tried a bed instead of a chair.”

  “Maybe,” Haruka said, doubting it. “Unlikely.”

  Isabella shifted her head, watching her. Haruka couldn’t tell what the other woman was thinking but she could tell it was something important, something that she was even nervous to say. Isabella leaned herself up on one elbow and Haruka watched her gather up the courage to speak, looking down at her. “There’s something…” Bella swallowed, looking in the brunette’s eyes. “Haruka, I-“

  “So how’s my favorite patient today?” Vivian said as she opened the door.

  The two women shot apart in surprise and Haruka practically threw herself out of the bed, tripping over the chair beside it and knocking it over as she fell to the floor. Isabella sat up worriedly. “Ruki, are you alright?!”

  Haruka sat up, rubbing her head with an intensely annoyed and embarrassed expression. “Fine.”

  Their attention turned back to the doctor as she smirked. “These beds are for healing only, you know.”

  Isabella attempted to stammer out a reply, only coming up with, “W-we weren’t-“

  “Mhmm,” Vivian said disbelievingly, moving over to the bed. “I’m just here to check your injury, nothing more.”

  Haruka stood and picked up the chair, taking a seat as the doctor examined her companion. Isabella’s face was red; she certainly wasn’t used to being embarrassed like that, apparently. She was mostly quiet as the doctor checked her wounds, really only replying to direct questions. Haru was certain that, whatever kind of moment they had just had, it was gone. She was left to wonder just what it was Isabella had been about to say.