Regrets of The Fallen (Victis Honor Book 1)

by Jake Taylor

  It deepened before it finally ended a full minute later, and she blinked as Bella pulled back. “Wow.”

  Bella smiled, leaning into her as she looked back over the side. “That won’t be the last.”

  “I hope not.”

  Bella looked up at her with an expression of love and contentment. “I owe you a lot more than that.”

  Chapter 10: Nothing Is Over

  “You’re really… very good at this.”

  “I have to be. You’re a challenge.”

  IXH

  Isabella groaned, falling face-first on the bed. Haruka laughed softly, setting a hand on her hip. “Very graceful.”

  “Shush.” Bella turned over, blinking up at her. “Aren’t you tired?”

  “Sure, but I don’t need to sleep yet.”

  “Oh, okay.” Isabella slipped under the sheets, laying her head on the pillow but staring at the ceiling.

  Haruka smirked a little, folding her arms and tilting her head. “Want me to keep you company?”

  “Well, I mean, if you want to…”

  Haruka chuckled, sitting on the bed and leaning against the wall. Bella happily shifted over and laid her head in Haruka’s lap, closing her eyes and sighing in contentment as the monk gently stroked her hair. “You’re cute when you’re tired, you know.”

  “I’m always cute,” Isabella mumbled, getting another laugh from Haruka.

  “True.” She smiled, watching Bella fall asleep. She went quickly, exhausted as she was. It made Haruka worry, but still she was happy in this moment. It wasn’t something she’d ever seen coming; this whole situation was a surprise, in fact. It was an odd feeling that she hadn’t even heard of Isabella a month ago, but now any other life than this one seemed odd and, somehow, wrong. Things had changed so much so fast that her life seemed unrecognizable.

  It had her worried for the future, but she knew she couldn’t think about the end. She had no idea what her life would be like after Bella was gone, but focusing on that would only drive her insane and prevent her from enjoying life as it was now. She would just have to focus on the present and not deal with the end until it came. Looking down at the woman sleeping against her, she hoped it wouldn’t come for a long, long time.

  IXH

  Freya sat back in her office’s chair, watching the young man that sat across from her. Able was an odd one with a lot of mystery surrounding him, but then, Freya herself was pretty unknown to most people. Still, the young man wasn’t able to explain nearly enough to satisfy her. His appearance was unusual at best and suspicious at worst, though she didn’t really think he was an enemy. No, in fact, she fully believed what he said. The thing that made her buy his story was his manner; he was frustrated by what he couldn’t explain or remember, and he seemed more annoyed by his situation than anyone.

  Freya crossed her legs, tilting her head questioningly. “Y’ smoke? Drink?”

  Able stopped inspecting the many things in her office to look at her. “I suppose I could use a drink.”

  “Atta boy.” Freya yanked open a drawer and pulled out a bottle and a glass, filling the glass before passing it over to him.

  He took the glass and sniffed it once before taking a drink. He immediately began coughing, holding the glass away from him and glaring at it like an enemy. “What the hell is this?”

  Freya grinned. “Grog. I thought y’ might like somethin’ strong after th’ day you’ve ‘ad. Drink it down, puts hair on yer chest.” She winked at him before taking a large gulp herself.

  Able eyed her warily across the desk. “So how much hair do you have on yours?”

  Freya set down the bottle, leaning forward and smiling darkly. “You really wanna go there?”

  “Probably not…” He swirled the glass around a bit before draining all of it at once, giving a shudder afterwards as he slammed the glass down on the desk.

  Freya laughed, slapping the desk. “I knew I liked you! That took guts. It was a terrible idea an’ yer gonna find out why in a few minutes ‘ere, but still, took guts.”

  Able smirked, leaning back in his seat. “I’ll be alright. So what did you wanna talk about?”

  “Well, I…” They looked over as someone knocked on the door. “It ain’t locked!” Haruka stepped in, closing the door behind her. “Ah, Ruka. I thought you’d be with Bella?”

  Haruka smiled. “She fell asleep about an hour ago. I’m going to go back, but I want to make sure I know what’s going on first.”

  “Ah, great, great! Well, take a seat.”

  Able watched her as she sat down. “Is she alright?”

  “Bella?” Haruka leaned back, folding her arms. “She’s just tired. Tonight took a lot out of all of us, I think.”

  “Aye, you’re right about that,” Freya added, leaning forward on her elbows. “It was a bad situation, but we all got out.”

  Haruka glanced at Able. “Thanks to you in no small part.”

  Able shrugged. “I’d have died if I was alone, as I was before. As far as I’m concerned you saved me.”

  “Well, let’s talk about that.” Freya clasped her hands. “Yer a strange kid. You’re missin’ a lotta mem’ries, right?”

  Able met her eyes, nodding. “I don’t remember a lot of things, including how I got on that ship or where I got my powers. Basically, I don’t know a big chunk of the first part of my life, and after that there’s a bunch of random gaps, just like the one before I was on the ship.”

  Haruka tilted her head. “That doesn’t sound like repression. Do you think it might be some form of severe dissociative identity disorder?”

  He shrugged. “Maybe. Or maybe I’m being jumped through time. Or, maybe I just forget things. I don’t even know if it’s complicated or mundane.”

  “You always travel alone?” Freya asked, rubbing her chin in thought as he nodded. “Maybe if you ‘ad someone with you when it ‘appened they could tell you.”

  “Are you volunteering?”

  “D’ you wanna be a pirate?”

  “Not really?”

  “Then I ain’t an option.” She leaned back, glancing at Haruka. “But… You could go t’ my nephew. You’d make a good mercenary.”

  Able glanced between them. “What kind of mercenary?”

  “Oh, not a bad one. It’s an army. Ruka an’ Bella are goin’ that way.”

  Haruka nodded. “You could come with us. I know for a fact Bella wouldn’t mind. You should know, though, that we’re being hunted by the Black Sun.”

  Able studied her for a long moment before shrugging and leaning back. “Sounds like more reason for me to go with you.”

  Freya smiled. “Really do like you, kid.”

  Haruka tilted her head. “You want to help us?”

  “I have nothing else to do.”

  “Well… I will appreciate you helping to keep Bella safe.” Haruka stood up. “Since plans are set, I’m going back to her. We’ll talk more tomorrow.”

  They bid her goodnight as she left, then Freya turned to Able. “Those girls… I’ve kinda gotten attached to ‘em. They got enough problems; you be sure to keep ‘em safe, alright?”

  Able met her gaze seriously. “I’ll do my best.”

  IXH

  Haruka slipped back into the room, quietly shutting the door. Her brow knit in concern as soon as she entered and heard Bella crying. She was about to ask what was wrong before she realized the woman was still asleep and her expression saddened. Haruka hadn’t seen her experiencing a nightmare before, but she’d figured she suffered a lot of them after the life she’d had. And here was proof; tears were visible even in the dark room, and Bella was curled up and clenching the sheets with something close to ferocity even though soft whimpers came from her.

  Not wanting to wake and embarrass her, Haruka removed her mask, jacket, gloves and boots and carefully slid into the bed, cautious not to make any noise. She then gathered Bella into her arms, sighing as the other woman instantly released the sheets and gripped her instead. She
stroked her back gently enough to avoid waking her, whispering, “I’m here.” Soon Isabella calmed down and returned to a calmer sleep, leaving Haruka relieved. The monk laid her head back on the pillow, leaving Bella’s head on her chest as she continued the movements of her fingers on her back.

  “Damaged” seemed to be an adequate description of her friend. Mentally, emotionally, physically; she just couldn’t catch a break. How much is she hiding? Haruka thought to herself as she stared at the ceiling in the dark. How much does she keep to herself to avoid worrying me? What if it’s because there are things she knows I can’t fix? She sighed, closing her eyes and letting the weight of Bella’s body comfort her. She would ask later, make sure she was being let in on everything. They didn’t have a lot of time, after all. Her thoughts continued along the same lines until she fell asleep a few minutes later, and her mind was dominated by something else…

  IXH

  Haruka’s Dream

  Her eyes shot open at the sound of a scream. Adrenaline flowed through her veins as she looked around, but there was no immediate danger visible. She pushed herself off the wooden floor and inspected her surroundings, finding she was in a small house. It wasn’t an impressive abode but one owned by people of meager means. The furniture was obviously self-made, not fancy but serviceable. The home was clean enough and had a couple pieces of decoration that seemed moderately expensive which were displayed proudly, likely family heirlooms as the poor weren’t able to make such extravagant purchases.

  Following sounds coming from the next room, Haruka went through the doorway to see the four people who presumably owned the home huddling together against a wall. It was a family as she’d expected; a slightly older father, a middle-aged mother, a young daughter and an even younger son, barely a toddler. The young boy was clutched in his mother’s arms while the girl gripped her father’s leg as his hand rested protectively on her head. The little boy cried and hid his face while the other three stared with fear at the opposite wall.

  It wasn’t hard to discern why; sounds of chaos echoed outside. Haruka knew well the sound of battle and the dying and it seeped through the wooden walls with a distant, eerie quality, as if the chaos itself was moving towards them. Haruka readied herself for whatever was coming, keeping her gaze fixed on that wall just like the family’s was.

  After several minutes during which the fighting died down, that wall of the house suddenly exploded. The family and Haruka all covered their faces as splinters of wood and billows of smoke filled the air. As the smoke slowly cleared, a figure was revealed in the newly-created entrance, a figure with red hair and eyes that Haruka recognized too well. Isabella of Two Faces stood in her demonic form with her large two-handed sword held loosely in one hand, its point scraping the ground. This time her eyes didn’t see Haruka, but they focused on the family coldly.

  The elder father made a quick decision at that moment – to protect his family. He pushed his daughter back to his wife and charged forward with a yell, moving to tackle her to give them a moment to escape, but both Haruka and the Isabella of the time knew it was a pointless endeavor. The Golden Butcher disappeared in a flash of movement, reappearing behind him and curling an arm under his chin, catching and stopping his charge. Without hesitation she snapped his neck and let his body drop to the ground, not bothering to watch him die.

  His family, of course, cried out at that, but fear pressed them back into the wall. Isabella slid one foot back and turned her attention to them. Knowing what was coming Haruka tried to look away, but dreams didn’t use reality’s rules so she saw it anyway. She saw the mother beg as the children clung to her, and she saw Bella’s lack of emotion as the blood sprayed across the wall.

  IXH

  “Haruka, please, wake up!”

  The monk jerked awake and sat up rigidly, fully alert and covered in a cold sweat. She slowly released the tension in her muscles as she realized she was back aboard the Black Wake, in bed with Isabella, who was on her knees looking at her worriedly. Haruka sighed, closing her eyes and running a hand over her face. “Sorry I woke you.”

  “What was going on?”

  She shook her head. “Just a nightmare,” she said dismissively.

  Isabella looked away, seeming not to buy it. “About what?”

  Haruka shrugged. “Random things. Who knows why the mind picks what it does?” She glanced at Bella, who seemed nervous.

  Bella met her gaze. “It wasn’t random. I heard you asking me to stop.”

  “I don’t know what that-“

  “Haruka, please. Don’t patronize me. What did you dream about?”

  The monk sighed. “How is that going to help?”

  Isabella slammed her hand into the wall. “Tell me! I have a right to know what’s being shown from my own past!”

  Haruka looked away, considering lying but knowing it wouldn’t help. “It was… I don’t know the specific incident, but I think you were clearing out a town. I only saw you kill one family, though.”

  “You saw it? Why are you…” She looked down at her fists on the bed. “Why are you seeing these things?! How much are you going to see?!”

  Haruka turned to put a hand on hers. “It’s fine, I don’t-“

  “No!” Isabella threw off her hand and leapt back out of the bed, stumbling back to support herself on the wall and glaring at her. “You can’t just say it’s fine, you can’t always just try to make me feel better.”

  Haruka retracted her hand. “Bella, I don’t care about those things.”

  “Yes, you do.” She raised herself up, looking down at her. “It certainly sounded like you cared. You want to keep lying and acting like you don’t care?” she said with a hard voice, her gaze fierce. “You don’t even know how much you ‘don’t care’ about. You want to hear some? One time I hung a four-year-old as a message to the rest of the village. You don’t care about that? How about the times – plural – when I set fire to buildings with people inside them? Or when I tortured a woman to get information on her son? Or-“

  “Fine,” Haruka said with a sigh, looking over at her. “I do care.”

  “Of course you care. Only a monster wouldn’t.” Isabella looked down in frustration, her hands clenched uselessly at her sides. “It’s not… You’re the first person who actually liked me, and now you’re being shown all the reasons you shouldn’t.”

  Haruka stood up on the other side of the bed, shaking her head. “That’s not a reason.”

  “If you’d met me then, you would’ve been against me.”

  “But I didn’t. I met you now. You’re different now; a different person.”

  “How long is that going to last?” Bella looked at her sadly. “How many of these visions will it take before the past outweighs the present? There’s already so much going against us, eventually you’ll decide it’s not worth it.”

  “Have I ever given you any reason to think that? Have some damn faith in me!”

  “I do have faith in you, but it’s hard for that to help when I think that leaving me would be the right decision for you.”

  “Why would you even think that?”

  “Haruka, I’m not…”

  Haruka was tired of this argument and tired of that defeated expression. She vaulted the bed and pushed Isabella against the wall, kissing her more fiercely than she ever had before. Bella returned it after a moment of shock as the monk gripped her arms, keeping her there for a long time before ending the kiss but not backing off. “Stop confusing the way you feel about you and the way I feel about you.” She lifted a hand to her chin, making sure Bella’s eyes stayed on her. “I love you,” she said more quietly. “And I’m determined and stubborn, and I’m not going anywhere no matter how hard you try. I don’t care if you think it’s a bad decision. And these visions just let me prove to you that I don’t have to be ignorant of your past to feel this way.”

  “Why?” Isabella studied her face. “I need to know… Why?”

  Haruka was silent for a mo
ment, watching her seriously. “Because you deserve it,” she answered. “And because I have nothing better to do.”

  Isabella gave a weak smile, looking away. “Now isn’t the time for jokes…”

  Haruka tilted her head. “It’s a joke, but it’s true. There’s nothing better I could be doing, even if I had every option in the world.”

  “You’re really… very good at this,” Bella said softly without looking back at her.

  “I have to be. You’re a challenge.”

  Isabella sighed, closing her eyes. “I love you, too.”

  Haruka smiled. “I know.” Bella looked back at her and opened her eyes, but there was something different there now, a spark that hadn’t been there before. And the look she was giving… “Bella?” Haruka asked curiously, unsure what was going on in her head. It became clearer when she was shoved back onto the bed and soon had the other woman on top of her, locking her in a kiss that had even more passion than the last one.

  It seemed to heat up by the second until Bella finally broke it, leaving both of them panting. She put a hand on either side of Haruka and pushed herself up, tilting her head as she looked down at her. “I hope you got enough sleep already,” she said playfully.

  Haruka grinned. “I don’t need a lot of sleep. But…” She caught one of Bella’s wrists, flipping them over and causing the blue-haired woman to yelp in surprise. With their positions now reversed she grinned down at her girlfriend. “…If you think you get to stay on top, you’re sadly mistaken.”

  “…I’ll fight you for it.” Haruka just smirked at her, leaning down and kissing her neck as she slid a hand down her side. Isabella’s eyes fell shut as she leaned her head back, catching her breath. “Or… You can have it…”

  Haruka chuckled against her skin, her eyes shining. “You won’t be disappointed.”