Regrets of The Fallen (Victis Honor Book 1)

by Jake Taylor

  “How did you keep up your stamina?”

  “It was incredibly tiring. I didn’t keep up my stamina, really; I just channeled more and more power to make up for losing it. Eventually I was using everything I had and bleeding from a dozen places, but he was bleeding from more. In the end my speed put me over; his hits did far more damage, but I was able to hit him a lot more times than he hit me. He finally took off again and circled around, coming down to slam me with his bulk – a good move considering his immense weight and size. I braced against the mountainside and launched myself at him and we met in mid-air. I remember the impact in the air followed by hitting the mountain beneath his scales, which knocked me unconscious for a few seconds. When I came to I had to shove myself out from under him, but my sword was embedded in his heart. I later realized that the fight had taken about eight hours, which sounds right, though it seemed even longer. Anyway, that was my hardest fight, and the closest I’ve come to dying.”

  “It’s hard to believe that anyone could kill a dragon by themselves, but I’m not surprised that you’re the one who did. It’s incredibly impressive.”

  “It is, isn’t it?” Isabella grinned. “I’m awesome.”

  Haruka snorted. “Okay, well, you are, but you could stand to be more humble.”

  “Pff, why? I don’t need to worry about putting people off, I already have a girlfriend.”

  “So this is my fault?”

  “Sure, let’s blame it on you so we don’t blame it on me.”

  “Have you been in a relationship before? Were you like this with them?”

  Isabella chuckled. “Ruki, I haven’t been like this with anyone. I did have a girlfriend once, though.”

  Haruka looked over at her. “I’m guessing… before?”

  “Yeah. I had a crush on this girl at the academy and we ended up together. She was cute, but we weren’t really… different enough. And there’s no way I’d see her as anything but a little girl the way I am now.”

  “She was too immature?”

  “Yes. We had fun, but after my parents… Well, I left, and never saw her again. I always wanted to be with someone strong, though; and especially now, when I need so much support. I think it’s important to be… proud of the person you’re with, you know? I really admire you, and you amaze me, and I think those are important feelings.”

  “It sounds weird that you admire me. I think you’ve done a lot more than I have.”

  “That’s because you don’t have my perspective. But what about you? I think you said you haven’t had a relationship before.”

  Haruka nodded. “Just superficial flings. Physical things mostly. I never really tried to have any more than that, I just didn’t meet anyone that drew me in like that. That’s why I was so confused when I met you and I was drawn in instantly; it was such a sudden change.”

  Isabella sat up and crossed her legs, looking at her. “What did draw you in, then?”

  Letting out a breath, Haruka crossed one leg over her knee and folded her hands on her stomach. “You have a really powerful dichotomy that interested, and still interests, me. Your condition leaves you physically weak, but your skill makes up the difference. Your past wore you down so much emotionally, but you’re still determined and have a powerful will. I liked you instantly, but after I realized you were sick, you just said it was ‘annoying’, and then you said it was fair. I had to know why someone who seemed so perfect would think she deserved to be seriously ill.”

  “And I wanted to hide that from you so much. I thought for sure you would hate me.”

  “You’re incredible.” Haruka sat up and met her eyes. “I still consider you as much a victim as anyone you attacked. I’ve seen evil, and it doesn’t cry over people it hurt. I’ve seen you hate yourself more than a man blaming you for taking his family did, I’ve seen you suffer endless nightmares about your own actions, and I’ve seen your willingness to give up because you thought you deserved it. There isn’t a single thing about you that is worthy of hate.”

  Isabella smiled and looked down, playing with a blade of grass in her fingers. “I can no longer argue with that. If someone like you believes as you do so strongly, then you must be right.” She sighed, lifting her hand and releasing the blade of grass, watching it float away. “I don’t hate myself anymore. The things that happened were… a tragedy. I wish it had happened differently. But I don’t wish I had died before then, like I did.” She looked over at Haruka. “As I am now, you love me. And… Because I trust and admire you, and because I love you, I believe now that I’m worthy of it.” She smiled. “Being worthy of you in particular is a different matter.”

  Haruka smiled at her. “I’m so… proud of you. Making you believe that is the greatest accomplishment of my life.” Her smile turned into a grin. “Now all that’s left is to convince you that I’m luckier than you are.”

  “Oh, well, good luck with that. You just need to accept the truth, that’s all.”

  “Uh-huh. Well then if we can’t solve that, what’s next for us?”

  “I dunno.” Isabella put a finger on her chin and tilted her head in thought. “How about some drama?” Her eyes moved to Haruka without her head changing position. “We could have some misunderstandings and break up for a bit, followed by a long series of problems that could be avoided if one of us would just talk to the other.”

  “Yeah, but that’s such a cliché,” Haruka said with a shake of her head. “And it’s so frustrating. Can’t we just have someone from your past or mine show up and cause us problems?”

  “Um, hello,” Isabella said as she leaned over and poked Haruka’s head. “That’s kind of what’s been happening since we met.”

  “Oh, right.” Haruka folded her arms, thinking. “So what could we do that’s new?”

  “One of us could get amnesia?” Bella held a hand to her head. “Oh… What? Where am I? Who are you? I don’t remember you or our time together!”

  “I said new.”

  “Amnesia from diseased mud!”

  Haruka groaned and dropped her head into her hands. “Will you let the mud go already?”

  “I refuse!”

  “You’re such a child.”

  “That’s because the mud infected me and I lost all memory of everything since I was a child. My mind has reverted.”

  Haruka lifted her head to give her the oddest look she could muster. “Then why have you been childish since I met you?”

  Isabella suddenly looked very sad, speaking softly in a tortured tone as she looked wistfully out over the plains. “I ran into a lot of mud on my travels…”

  “You poor thing.”

  “You don’t know what I’ve been through!”

  “Rain and dirt?”

  “So much rain…” Isabella threw herself into Haruka, clinging to her and shaking. “So much dirt… And then they… they mixed together…”

  Haruka laughed, patting her back. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone complain as creatively as you do.”

  Isabella grinned up at her. “Is it good enough? I can add a song if it’s not.”

  “Does it include a dance?”

  “It can…”

  “Done.”

  Isabella turned around and moved so she was sitting in Haruka’s lap, smiling at her. “If we get out of this…” Her hand, which had been gently tracing Haruka’s shoulder, suddenly shifted and not-so-gently pulled the monk into a kiss that was also not very gentle, but passionate and fiery. It caught Haruka entirely off-guard and lasted long enough that the part of her mind that was still able to think rationally – a very small part – actually began to wonder if she should focus some energy into oxygen regulation. It did, however, finally end, leaving both breathing heavily and Haruka’s vision a bit blurry. Isabella smiled at the distant look on Haruka’s face, happy at the effect she had. She tilted her head and continued, “If we get out of this, I’m going to spend a very large amount of money on a very small amount of fabric, and I’m going to
show you a dance I might have learned on one of my travels.”

  Haruka’s eyes focused on her with a spark of intensity that never failed to make her breath catch, and a smile appeared on her face that Bella recognized and knew no one else had ever received from the monk. “Is that a promise?”

  Isabella smiled and kissed her again, less fiercely but no less intensely, before slowly pulling back. “Mhmm… And all you have to do is beat up some bad guys.”

  Haruka grinned darkly. “They don’t stand a fucking chance.”

  “I thought so.”

  “By the way, after that, I hope you weren’t planning on sleeping soon.”

  “I wasn’t tired anyway,” Bella said with a grin before laughing as Haruka flipped them so that the monk was above her. She could have tried to counter, but logical thoughts and actions didn’t stay in her mind for long.

  IXH

  “So… What are they?” Isabella asked as she peered over the edge of a hill at a small group of grey-skinned, humanoid creatures in a small valley below.

  “Din’leth. They used to be dwarves,” Haruka answered as she crawled forward, squinting up at the sun. “That race went extinct a long time ago, and these thin, gangly, near-blind things are all that’s left of them. Why they’re on the surface, I have no idea. They shouldn’t be; they usually stay underground in their caves.”

  “Can we go to Areya? Where I actually know things? I’m tired of asking what everything is. I’m really smart, I swear!”

  Haruka smirked. “Calm down, no one thinks you’re stupid.”

  “All I’m saying is that I’m-“ Both of them shot up and spun around to find a group of the creatures behind them, pointing crude weapons at them. Isabella raised an eyebrow and looked at Haruka. “Should we fight them?”

  “Ahhh, haha, no, no, just-“ Haruka held out her hand, pushing it down. “Lower your sword, Bella,” she said as she continued to give the creatures a forced smile, “Those weapons they have are coated with a ridiculously deadly poison. I can’t heal you from it, only myself.”

  “Oh… Well, alright then,” Bella sheathed her iron sword and glowered as the things surrounded them, beginning to bring them into the valley. She studied them as they walked. “Hey, Haruka…?”

  “Yes?”

  “Are these things known for taking prisoners for slavery?”

  “Not really.”

  “Then why didn’t they just stab us.”

  “They don’t want to poison the meat.”

  “They don’t – ah. Okay then.” Bella sighed. “Why can’t you ever take me anywhere nice?”

  “Hey, Cullis wasn’t bad! It was touristy, but not bad!”

  “Technically, Freya took me there.”

  “Yeah, but I took you to the most expensive restaurant there.”

  “That is true. But now you’ve taken me to a horde of cave-dwelling people-eating monster things, so it almost cancels out.”

  “Almost?”

  “That restaurant was really nice.”

  They were led into a cave entrance in the side of a hill, where they couldn’t see anything in front of them. They could tell they were going at a downward angle, and they took several twists and turns, but eventually (after a good hour of walking) they were shoved into a small room dug out of the rock and they heard stone slide into place behind them. The first thing Isabella did was move back to the door and begin examining it with her hands in the darkness. “What can you tell me about this room?”

  Haruka shuffled around it, inspecting the floor and walls blindly. “Well, there aren’t any bones in here.”

  “Great! Either it’s really easy to escape this place, or we’re the only people dumb enough to get caught so far.”

  “I’ve never seen these things patrolling the surface, I thought we were fine!”

  “Um, we might be.”

  There was a grinding sound and Haruka stood upright. “What was that?”

  “That was the door sliding open.”

  “What – how did you get the door open?”

  “They have a grate in the door to let air in – I just grabbed that and pulled it open.”

  “They didn’t lock it?”

  “Look, I’m not their security manager, maybe they don’t think they need to! And they might have a point; we’re really deep into these caves, in absolute darkness, with who knows how many of those things between us and the exit. This might even be some sort of game for them! We need a strategy.”

  “Here’s my strategy,” Haruka said as she held up a hand and created a dim light from it. “Get behind me so I can smash my way out of here.”

  Isabella put her hands on her hips. “You might be able to purge that poison, but how much? And you aren’t immune to the actual slashes and stabs. There’s no room to dodge in these tunnels.”

  “Then we need another idea.”

  “Well…” Bella bit her lip. “I could transform-“

  “No. Next idea?”

  The knight sighed and looked at the open doorway, her eyes sad. “I have to be able to do something. I can’t just keep being… useless.”

  “Is there something you can do that won’t hurt you?”

  “Well what am I supposed to do?!” Isabella whirled on her with a harsh glare. “Should I wait here while you take care of things? Should I follow behind you and hope that protecting me doesn’t get you killed? We’re a little short on options!”

  “Okay,” Haruka said quietly, attempting to calm her down as she set a hand on her arm. “Okay. Just… Look, we just need a plan, that’s all. We can’t keep pulling that out at every sign of trouble or you won’t make it another month.”

  “I don’t have anything else anymore, Haruka,” Bella stated firmly as she folded her arms and looked away with narrowed eyes. “Everything puts a stress on my body. At this point I’m so weak I can’t do anything without relying on that. I tried working hard while we were at the mercenary camp; while you were sparring or scouting with them, I pushed myself to my limits to see just how well I can fight these days. Do you know what I found out?” Haruka shook her head silently as Isabella held up a number of fingers. “Eight minutes. I can fight at full ability for eight minutes without transforming. After that, my ability degrades rapidly until I’m unable to lift my sword.” She let her arms drop and curled her hands into tight fists. “You have to accept that if I don’t transform, I’m going to be useless for the rest of this journey.”

  “I…” Haruka paused. “…What if you don’t have to swing a heavy sword like that? What if you just move and dodge?”

  Isabella frowned in confusion. “You mean if I just avoid getting hit during fighting and let you do everything?”

  “No, I had Ophelia procure me some weapons in case we were injured, but they’ll be perfect for this situation.” She pulled her pack off her shoulder and set it on the ground, kneeling down and ruffling through it with one hand. “Okay, I don’t have time to really train you with this,” she said as she drew out a sleek black pistol. “Can we get some more light in here?” Isabella nodded and withdrew a piece of chalk, drawing a rune on the wall; it flared to life and created a light that filled their small room, causing them to blink for a bit. Haruka nodded and moved towards her. “Remember the guns those pirates used? This is a lot like those, except way more advanced.”

  “The miniature cannons?” Isabella moved beside her and looked down at the object. “It looks so… odd.”

  “Like I said, it’s advanced. Imperial make.” She held it up for Bella to examine, pointing out various aspects. “You hold it here. This trigger fires it every time you press it; be careful with that, the projectile’s speed is almost instant, unlike an arrow. You pull this back once to load it, and this little switch is the safety – when it’s to the left, the gun won’t fire, so keep it like that when it’s on you, but make sure to move the switch to the right when you want to fire.”

  Isabella nodded. “It’s a bit like a crossbow, only more compa
ct and a lot easier.” She took it carefully, turning it in her hand. “So what you’re saying is, I should use this instead of my sword?”

  “I think you should hold that iron sword in your right hand, and use that mainly for defense. Hold this in your left hand.” She went back to the bag and pulled out a few magazines. “Put these in your belt. When the gun is empty, you just hit – this switch, yes, that one right there, and the magazine inside will pop out. Then you put in a new one, pull the top back again, and that’s how you reload.”

  “This seems… really easy to kill someone with,” Bella said as she found spots in her belt for the magazines.

  “That’s the point,” Haruka explained as she closed and lifted her pack. “They’re perfect for a normal person to defend themselves with, though; or someone extraordinary like you, who has reason not to fight normally.”

  Isabella smiled at her. “So… I can actually fight? I’ll be fighting just like Freya!”

  Haruka blinked. “That’s right, she does use a pistol and sword, doesn’t she? Yes, you’ll be fighting like her, only, I hope, less crazy.”

  “No promises,” Isabella said with a grin, cocking the pistol before drawing her iron sword.

  Haruka stared at her grin for a moment. “…I’m beginning to regret giving you a firearm. Try to remember not to point it at me; if you accidentally shoot me, the things you’ll have to do to be forgiven will be obscene.”

  IXH

  “I would think you would want to discourage me from shooting you.”