by Lila Felix
I took the opportunity while he was sleeping for a second time to make him something to eat. I wasn’t much of a cook, but whatever he ate I wanted to be from my hands—or at least made by my hands. I hated to admit it, but I didn’t trust anyone to get him food. I wanted to see every ingredient, every pot, every spoon and bowl used.
We had more enemies than we could count.
And our enemies were in close quarters—all the same species as us.
“Have you ever actually made macaroni and cheese?” Ari peeked over my shoulder.
“No. I’ve only ever eaten it when I was binging.”
She cringed. “Oh, I remember that. Tough to flash after that.”
I didn’t have the strength to explain to Ari that eating too much was just another myth of our kind. She’d get it sooner or later.
She picked up the box and examined the front, making fun of me for choosing the Star Wars edition. “How do you know when it’s done?”
I shrugged. “You taste it, I guess.”
We resorted to reading the box and making a sad, orangey version of Theo’s comfort food. I heaped it into a bowl and brought it upstairs. Theo was awake again and sitting up.
“Is that for me?” He nodded toward the bowl.
I wrinkled my nose. “Yeah, but I can’t guarantee it tastes good.”
“You cooked?”
I smiled and he motioned for me to sit next to him. He moved slowly, but better than he had before sleeping.
Sitting next to him, I felt out of place. I had become some needy chick.
More than anything, I needed him to reach out and touch me—just show me that it was all going to be okay.
Little by little he ate, and if the food tasted like shit, no one would know. The boy was chowing down like there was no tomorrow. I tried not to watch, feeling like I was a voyeur instead of his mate.
He put the bowl aside and clunked his head against the headboard. “So, how long are we going to play this game? I just need to know for future reference. Because right now you’re breaking my heart, meu amor.”
Breaking his heart. That’s all I was good for.
“I don’t know what to do. One minute we’re getting sealed and the next you’re gone. Now you’re back. I’m not sure if you need space, privacy, or time to decompress. I mean, shit, Theo, you’re the Eidolon. You’ve come back from saving who knows how many souls from purgatory and now you’re here with me. I probably pale…”
His finger was on my lips before I could finish what my heart wanted to say but my brain demanded I shut up about. “Don’t even finish that thought. Nothing pales in comparison to you—nothing. All I want is for you to see me as Theo. With you, I’m just—normal.”
I sent an incredulous look his way. “You’ve never been normal, don’t kid yourself.”
“There’s my girl.”
The exchange lifted the lid of frustration bound to bubble over in words we didn’t really mean.
He chuckled and took my hand. “Next time just tackle me with kisses and we’ll be alright.”
“You could barely walk. What was with that?”
He shrugged. “I don’t really know. It’s like floating up there. No gravity. I guess my muscles lost some strength.”
I kneeled on the bed next to him and clapped my hands in childlike eagerness. “Tell me what it was like. How many are there?”
He hesitated and I thought that maybe I seemed a little too eager. I twisted to face him, lying down and propping my head on my hand. He smiled down at me with determined yet sleepy eyes.
“It’s insane. There’s so many of them. They—at first they clawed at me. There were a thousand hands gripping my arms, my legs, my hair—all of them wanting me to take them anywhere but where they were. I started with the children. There are so many of them. Some have been there for ages just toddling back and forth like a buoy in the ocean. No path, no destination. Just existing.”
Opening my mouth to ask him a question, I paused. His tone betrayed the obvious pain the situation caused him.
Any honorable service came with pain and sorrow.
“I thought it would be—I don’t know—I thought you would be happy.”
He flexed his hands, testing the strength in his fingers and then frowning. “I don’t know, Colby. I’m honored to be the Eidolon, but it’s not a position I would bestow on anyone else. It’s an honorable burden.”
Silence took my voice. We, as a people, had always put the position of the Eidolon on a pedestal. Not the man, necessarily, but the place the Eidolon had in our hearts and our culture was sacred.
All things require some kind of sacrifice—even being the Eidolon.
“What can I do?” My mousy voice lacked the strength I wished it to have.
“Just be with me, Querida. That’s all I need. Bring me back to Earth.”
Later, he fell asleep again with his head on my chest. Hearing him breathe and seeing his chest rise and fall was the best thing I’d watched in a week—maybe a lifetime. He no longer wrestled with ghosts in slumber. His sleep was as peaceful as that of a baby. I sent up a vow of gratitude to the one who bestowed this gift upon him.
I’d need the big guy on my side from now on.
As I began to drift off a quiet knock resounded on the bedroom door. I’d decided to ignore it when Torrent stuck his head in the door. “Hey, he and I need to talk.”
I zeroed in on him, conjuring the best stink eye I could along with an unladylike finger gesture. “You can come back later.”
“No, I do need to talk to him,” Theo answered, moving to sit up. He was already stronger in just the few hours he’d been back. They both looked at me. Oh hell, no. I was so not getting squeezed out of this conversation. They could just kiss my ass—both of the Ramsey boys.
Torrent posed his first inquiry. “How many are there?”
I grunted at his question. He was going to get the same answer I did—countless.
“I’ve only come across one. He wouldn’t let me cross anyone else over until he was dealt with.” My neck nearly broke as I jerked it in Theo’s direction.
Torrent’s eyebrow arched. “Only one? That’s a whole lot less than I thought. A real bastard?”
“Makes you look like Shirley Temple.” Theo came back.
I looked back and forth between the two. They were obviously having some kind of cryptic conversation, keeping me in the dark on purpose.
“What the hell are you two talking about? I think the time for keeping secrets from Colby has come and gone.” My voice rose to a full yell and it seemed to affect Theo.
Torrent chuckled and leaned against the doorframe. His head barely fit under the top. “You think good people are the only ones to go to purgatory? It’s like a holding cell. Guilty or not, you stay put until the warden lets you go free.” When saying ‘warden’, he ticked his head in Theo’s direction.
They weren’t giving me any answers.
The one or two bites of macaroni I’d had while cooking it curled into cement in my stomach as his meaning took shape in my mind. It was as I’d feared all along but hadn’t allowed myself to mutter a word of it.
Those lost in the Fray weren’t just mates of flashers—there were those who tried to flash with Lucent females to do harm—those whose blood ran with evil.
I finally gasped. “You saw them?”
Theo looked to his hands as though they held the demon in his palms. “You don’t really see anything there. I’m blind there. I can hear them—louder than they sound here. I feel them—they claw and tear at me like I’m their lost hope. But I think there’s more. At least a dozen—maybe more.”
“Let me guess,” Torrent mused, pacing the floor. “This one wants out first. He’s soul-blocking you, so to speak.”
Theo didn’t have to agree out loud for the two of us to know Torrent was correct.
Torrent continued and anger bubbled to the surface. I just wanted him to shut up. “That was the issue with the other Eidolon
s, you know that, right?”
In a second, the room started spinning and with its speed, everything began to make sense. History was repeating itself again. The Eidolon was stuck.
No way to escort the lost.
At least this time, he had a way out of the sickness that plagued the rest—a chance to change the future of our race. I looked at Torrent and the shit-eating grin that was taking shape on his otherwise handsome face.
“It could’ve been so easy. You knew?” I murmured.
Theo’s hackles rose. “It’s not so easy to ask for help from the one person on this Earth who was made to kill you.”
Torrent cackled. “I wasn’t made to kill you, brother. Just to be your opposite.”
Theo began to shake in anger. Even to this heresy in front of us, he would never yell.
“Torrent, just leave us alone. When we need you, we’ll call.”
Torrent huffed out a breath through his nose and turned to leave. “Oh, Princess, you two will need me more than you know.”
I did him the courtesy of letting him leave before I cursed his existence.
Theo looked to the window. It reminded me of the nights when I’d woken to see him longing for the gardens. His voice sounded far away again. “He’s right. I do need him. I never knew there was a purpose for Sanctum. He has to escort the—he has to escort them to hell.”
I didn’t give a damn about those souls, good or bad looking at the life seeping from him—watching as his choices were stripped from him without consent. The only thing I cared about in that moment was my fading mate. Now that I’d gotten his more base needs taken care of, I saw the real toll this last trip had taken on him. There were crescents that hung below his eyes that I’d never seen before—or hadn’t seen that pronounced.
The skin clung to his cheekbones a little less.
His eyes lacked the luster I’d loved since I was a girl. The glint he’d had when he’d just arrived had fled, leaving the truth behind.
Theo shook my limp hand. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
I changed the subject. “How much time do I have to get you back healthy?”
He chuckled and made a pitiful attempt at pulling me toward him but ended up leaning on my back. “You need to sleep. You need to shower.”
“You need to get over here and kiss me before I forget what it feels like.”
Theo’s lips were lethal—should’ve been banned all over the world.
And they were mine.
“And here I was kind of peeved because you were shoved into another dimension only moments before we were going to be sealed. Now you’ve made me all gushy.”
He chuckled and for a split second I saw the glint in his eye again. “You weren’t the only one mad, Meu amore. I was looking forward to it as well.”
“Maybe it’s not fate.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I wished I could take them back. The last thing I wanted Theo to think was that I was trying to get away from him again. Quite the opposite—I wanted to be nearer to him every moment.
There was a palpable shift in emotion when Theo realized or thought he realized what I was saying.
“Please explain, Querida. Because right now I’m thinking the very worst and I don’t like it.”
“Maybe we are—I don’t know—less of a priority than what you were born to do.”
I was the most ridiculous person on the planet. I was incapable of realizing my feelings about things until they were spoke out loud, which made it too late to shut myself up or censor myself at all. Someone should censor me.
“Look at me, Colby Evans. Look at me right this minute.”
I dropped my head onto his stomach, facing him. It wasn’t exactly looking at him, but it was the best I could do in my state of humiliation.
“Come on sweet girl, show me those blues.”
When my blues met his grays, there was no further discussion. No more questions to be answered. But he would do it anyway because he was Theo, my mate, the one who never held anything back while I held my world tight against my chest.
He cleared his throat and I knew I was in deep. There would be tears. I hated crying. “I’m not even going to ask how those things get into your head. Just know that my priorities have never changed. They may have shifted, or been forced to shift by things out of my control, but you have always been, we have always been, my first priority. I’m doing this so I don’t end up like him. I need to do this so you don’t end up like her.”
I opened my mouth and stopped. He popped my bottom with his hand, making me say what I was going to say. “Then we need to get this done before it snatches you from me again.”
“That we agree on.”
I was too far gone. There was nothing to hide from anymore. And even if there was, Theo knew all of my hiding places. “Tonight?”
“Not tonight, meu amor. I’m so tired. I wouldn’t be able to give you my all and that’s what you deserve—nothing less.”
I turned my head to hide the reaction to his insinuation.
“Hiding from me? Some things never change.”
His fingers combed through my savage waves, laughing when he got stuck in a tangle.
“Tell me what you’ve been doing while I was gone. Spare no detail.”
That was the part I didn’t want to get into—at all.
Then again, I could never lie to Theo.
“Exploring and scheming.” My voice betrayed the words’ true intent.
“You’re lying—kind of. The vein near your temple throbbed. It does that when you’re not being honest.”
“Shut up.” I pressed against the side of my head, determined to hush the tattletale.
His eyebrows ducked down for a second. “What are you hiding?”
I reiterated, “I won’t let them get away with it. Your absence gave us time to plot—to make preparations.”
“Us?”
He knew who the mystery party was. It couldn’t be anyone else. Ari was squeamish about TV shows and Pema was—Pema. And Collin was too stuck in the right to ever stray wrong.
He murmured something about Sanctum and then tugged on a strand of my hair. “I’m not sure how I feel about that.”
“Now you’re the liar.”
A half-smile took shape. “I don’t like your partner in crime, I will say that. But I’ve never been able to stop you once you put your mind to a task, have I?”
I shook my head, which made him groan.
“Is anything I say going to stop you?”
I crossed my arms in defiance. “No.”
“Then be careful, my heart. That’s all I ask.”
Colby was taking care of me like I was made of paper-thin glass and would shatter at any moment. The first few days were a blessing, but by the third, I was ready to scream.
I’d never screamed at Colby in my life—not when she denied her love for me—not when she left me—not when she told me that her partner-in-crime while I was gone was none other than my hair-brained, evil brother.
But if she tiptoed around me one more time, I was going to burst.
“Colby, I think I can make it down the stairs by myself. I’m well-recovered, thanks to you.”
I whispered the sentiment, but there was no such thing as privacy in the house of Xoana.
“Damn, that was cold.”
Torrent—now that I knew where my brother was, I’d rather he be gone. On the same token, I needed him more than ever.
Colby whimpered. “You don’t need my help?”
She couldn’t have been more beautiful when she showed that innocent vulnerable side. And my girl didn’t do that often.
I withdrew from her arm circling my waist and winked at her for good measure. “I can do it. Thanks.”
“Okay. Anything else I can do for you?”
Conjuring confidence in my tone, I answered, “You can call our parents. I want us sealed as soon as possible.”
The smile that rose on her face shattered my soul and put it bac
k together again.
She nodded. “I can do that.”
“Good.”
I waited until she left the room. She bounded down the stairs and was on the phone, which gave me the perfect opportunity to speak to my brother.
“You know what we have to do.” Sanctum was hanging out in the hallway, waiting for the same chance I was.
“Duh.” So eloquent. He came into the room and slithered into a chair.
I tried to keep the conversation aloof. I didn’t want him knowing how much it killed me to speak about leaving again already. “As soon as I can, we need to go back. I think he’s harming the others. I felt more of them as I was leaving the Fray—more of the evil ones. The innocent souls were beyond terrified.” My voice was hoarse so I motioned for us to move downstairs. Colby was outside speaking on the phone, so she wouldn’t hear us.
We got into the kitchen and Torrent poured a glass of water for me before the chastising began. “Come on, brother, aren’t you going to ask me nicely? Anyway, they are born and bred to wreak havoc and terror, Theo. Of course they’re terrorizing the others. These aren’t pit bulls we’re talking about. They’re not misunderstood or just looking for a lengthy hug. They are evil—more than me. There’s just one problem.”
I pushed him aside and reached across the counter for the glass of water. Instinctively, I smelled it and tasted a bit. I wouldn’t put it past my brother.
“Poison is so rudimentary. Give me a break.”
I took my time trying to figure out the problem before he told me. I was the Eidolon for crying out loud. I should know these things. Of all the writings of the last Eidolon, someone should’ve told him to jot down a few instructions, especially if he wasn’t actually going to do his job.
Torrent rolled his eyes and I wanted to gouge them out. “I see you don’t get the problem, o mighty one. I can’t flash to Purgatory—not by myself, anyway.”
“What do you mean? I thought you had all the powers I did—or a perversion of them anyway.”
He laughed and it rendered the same sensation as the creep this entire conversation referred to. “Aww, Theodore, don’t be so mean. It doesn’t suit you. You have to escort me. That is your main job after all, escort to the souls.”