by Lila Felix
Escorting my brother to purgatory meant I would have to get over my aversion to touching him—I could barely be in the same room as him.
“Where will you bring them? Where do these souls go?”
He shrugged and mimicked my action, taking a lot longer to drink from his glass before he answered. “It’s none of your concern. The main thing is that they won’t be a problem for you anymore. That’s the whole point. You can prance those other stainless souls to the place they belong. Frolic? Skip? How exactly do you flitter your way into Paraiso?”
Torrent had far surpassed evil—he was downright annoying.
I relented. “Fine. After Colby and I are sealed and things are settled, we begin. And don’t pull any bull crap either. I may not be experienced, but if I know you, you have a use for these maniacal souls—it’s not in you to do a good deed. You are probably building some Dracula-looking army.”
He feigned pulling some arrow or dagger from his heart. “You slay me, most blessed Eidolon.”
“Shut up.”
He growl-laughed. “I knew you’d need me for something—I hadn’t expected it to be so soon.”
Huffing a laugh out through my nose, I took the bait. “And what would that be?”
“You need opposition at a sealing, correct? Someone to attempt to break the bond—give you a good reason not to dive headfirst into something ridiculous—eternally ridiculous.” I looked out and saw Colby pacing the grounds.
“That’s why the Almighty made you—to be my opposition.”
He rolled his eyes and for a second I thought they might stick. “Finally, he gets it.”
We both avoided the conversation that I wanted to have and he adamantly did not, the one where he explained why no one had told me about his becoming Sanctum.
Done with my brother for the moment, I walked outside and snuck up behind Colby, poised for gossip on the phone—glowing as she told her mother and my parents, both on the phone at the same time from what I could hear of the conversation, about our sealing.
“Hey,” I breathed into the ear not occupied by the phone. She smiled and ruffled the hair at the back of my neck. “Let me talk to them.”
My parents and Cybill were more than happy to hear my voice but refrained from asking the details. I knew them. They were saving the inquisition for when we were face to face. They gushed about the sealing and I insisted with the constant nod of Colby’s head that we should keep it simple. No more guests than necessary—no more extravagancies than warranted—which was none in my book and all in my mate’s.
“Tomorrow.” I told her, carrying a deep sense of pride.
“Feels like forever to wait.”
I shot her a look.
“Okay, I know I made you wait forever. I can’t apologize enough. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was protecting you.”
I maneuvered until our faces were mere inches apart. “Don’t worry, meu amor. You may have been trying to protect me—but I will protect us both. This love defies space and time and nothing and no one will crack what has been sealed under the eyes of the Almighty. We won’t let it. I won’t let it.”
She breathed out a weighted breath and then looked out over the horizon. It had been ages since she and I were here together—that I remembered.
She took my hand and it quivered. “That’s why I have to do what I have to do. The Synod can’t be allowed to ruin you.”
Shaking my head, I debated her thought. “The Synod won’t ruin me—they won’t ruin anyone. We will figure this out.”
Her nod didn’t ease my fears or the pain I still saw written on her face. All I wanted to do was take that pain away from her.
“You trust me? Believe in me?”
She leaned over, laying her head on my shoulder. I was strong when she leaned on me. “I do.”
“Then that’s all I need.”
Pissed off didn’t even cover the image staring back at me. And it didn’t cover her love handles either.
Okay, so they weren’t much of love handles, but it was a cushion I’d never had before.
I kind of liked it.
I didn’t plan for this. Ari, my mother, and I all gasped at the same time as I tugged at the dress that was adamant not to move past my hips. It was totally unexpected and yet, I should’ve seen it coming.
The dress no longer fit.
Because I was eating again—more like a human and less like a bird.
“You’ve gotten fat, you big, macaroni-and-cheese eater! Almighty above, you’re going to have to wear a sheet as a toga. That thing isn’t budging another inch.”
Ari and her big mouth. It wasn’t that bad. It was tight around the middle, but that was all. I needed some Spanx and not to breathe again—ever.
Oh, who was I kidding?
“Shut up. I can suck it in.”
“Yeah, you can try. But I hate to tell you that you can’t suck in whatever has made your hips that—hippy.”
The blood rushed from my face leaving me a blasé color of ghost. Another pitfall. This sealing was never going to happen.
Theo’s mom started wrangling through the things in her purse. Tampons and lipstick went flying until she finally came out with a scream and a tiny black bag. “I’ve got it.”
“A fat vacuum?”
In about five seconds, Ari would be physically unable to attend said wedding.
“No, a sewing kit. It will take me a few minutes, but I’m sure if I let out some of these seams, it will do.”
I’d never had anything let out in my life.
The women in Italy who made this beautiful work of art were probably groaning into their mozzarella.
“Get out of it and let me get to work.”
“You mean, if she can?”
Three seconds and Ari was going down—Lucent style.
I did as I was told, wiggling out of the dress and handing it over to the master. I was left sitting around in my white robe, useless as a tit on a boar hog. We were all at a loss for words. My nervousness had robbed my voice and Ari was staring out the window at something far more interesting.
My mom was chewing her fingernails.
“Did he tell you about it?” Theo’s mom asked, never looking up from her stitching and ripping. She’d always been perfectly calm in all situations except for when she thought Theo hadn’t been eating well. When she’d arrived, Theo had to walk her down from the mountain. He’d been so sincere and sensitive to her worry. After a few tears, she pulled me aside and made me vow to do what I could.
I took the vow just like I would take many more today.
Theo already had my life. This was all simply for show.
“He did. I would tell you, but I don’t know that it’s my story to tell.”
“It’s okay, dear girl. In a couple of hours, you will be my daughter-in-law. Then I can formally demand it of you.”
We laughed a little harder than her moxie warranted. Theo’s mom was about as formal as he was. Always prim. Always proper and sincere. Never an unkind word left her mouth. Theo got his class—his eloquence—from her.
Her eyes were puffy. As much as she blamed it on worry, I knew the real culprit. When she’d walked into the house and saw Torrent, there was an audible shattering of her heart. No one should have to lose their son, but they especially shouldn’t have to lose him to become the enemy.
Sanctum spoke to her like one would regard sandpaper, harsh and callous. I thought that maybe it was to protect himself as much as it was to protect the female who had given him life.
I owed that woman everything.
She was the reason I got a male who was always sincere and never abrupt.
She was the reason he opened doors and allowed me to enter a room first.
She was the reason he never held back on showing emotion or telling me in no uncertain terms how he felt.
She was the reason Theo was who he was.
Torrent had been duped out of that life and for a blip in time,
I felt sorry for him. No, that wasn’t the case at all. Sanctum had chosen his life and his title.
After all, agency was still a big deal to the Almighty.
She whipped a stitch through a seam after we all cringed through the ripping. Her brown hair fell over her eyes and she blew it away. “And then, when I get grandkids…”
Ari and I both choked on the notion. Our eyes met across the room and hers were round and enlarged, as though the sentiment was directed toward her.
I wasn’t opposed to children, but it seemed so far away.
And I didn’t want my children to have a father who disappeared for spans of time.
I already knew the sorrow of an absent father.
“If he’s not missing in action.”
Ari did not get the eloquence Theo so easily obtained. She always spoke the truth, stabbed me with it no matter how much I bled. I threatened until I was exhausted, but I would never hurt her.
“Thanks for the reminder, Ari.”
And from that time until my entrance into the gardens, the only sounds that could be heard were the ripping of my dress and the whoosh in and out of the thread I hoped would keep that dress and me together.
No amount of gel or hair product could make my hair not stand on end when Colby walked into the gardens wearing that dress.
The world would know she was gorgeous once she was on my…
That was the plan anyway. She’d have nothing left to give but her allegiance.
And Theo would hand her over.
Too bad it was my job to undo her first.
Everyone around me gasped when she came into view, but I knew she was coming. I’d worked on honing that skill to the point where I could almost anticipate her movements to the second.
Our dad walked her down the aisle.
My parents hadn’t even tried to speak to me. I was a disappointment—something to be ashamed of.
They were just like him and would come to a similar end if they tried to get in my way.
One day they would bow to me.
One day their faces would bow to the ground in reverence to the one who saved our race—brought us out of the clouds and into the light—through darkness.
While everyone else was preoccupied with looking at the blushing bride, I took the opportunity to size up my prey. I pushed aside the feelings of love I once had for Colby and embraced what she was to me now, a means to an end. She was my hostage in times of terror. She was the child I would kidnap and ask for ransom.
She was the bullet in my gun.
I could see Theo from the corner of my eye, zeroed in on her as though she was the moon and he revolved around her.
In fact, I was counting on it.
Regina had her eyes trained on me. So did Ari. Pema was the stupidest one of the bunch. She believed in every candy I fed her.
They all suspected me, which was fine. They should suspect me. They should fear me. But not for the reasons they think.
They forgot so easily why I existed.
The easy way was to kill Theo, poor, way-too-trusting Theo, and be done with it.
But decades or centuries later, that would leave our race with another rising Eidolon and all of this bullshit would start over.
What good is a race of people if we are stuck in a loop of failures?
Plus, there was no fun to be had in that plan.
Because that’s what all of this was, a loop of failure. Our race wasn’t progressing. We could rule the world and yet we hid and did the humans’ dirty work.
They couldn’t touch us.
As Colby made her way down the aisle, I noticed my little touches in her face. The circles beneath her eyes had grown darker. Even the makeup they’d put on her didn’t cover them completely. Her skin was a little paler—with a buttery tint. It was like looking at my own little masterpiece.
My blessings were so soft that no one noticed them yet.
They would soon.
Soon enough, they would be such that no one would be able to deny the decline in her health—in her mental stability—in the way her life was slipping from her hands and pouring into mine.
The other people who called themselves Sanctum were nothing more than blithering idiots.
They were so obvious about it. They went straight for the Eidolon, killing them and then bailing.
That got us nowhere.
I would not be like the Sanctums before me, just as my brother wasn’t like the Eidolons before him.
He was weaker. He was more pathetic. He looked at her like she was the moon because that’s all it would take to break him—taking away his moonlight.
It could be easy—put my hands tight around her scrawny neck while she blubbered about how long Theo had been gone.
Or I could’ve stabbed her right in that taut stomach when we were hidden in the tunnels outside the Synod.
I rubbed my hand over my mouth, quelling a smile, thinking about a sharp blade slicing a line right under her perfect jaw.
Again—those things would be way too easy.
This was much more fun.
He would have to watch her wither away inch by inch, cell by cell.
By the time he figured out what was happening, she’d already be halfway gone.
It would be too late for him to do a damned thing about it.
He’d give up. She’d give in.
And just when he thought there was no hope in sight—I’d offer him a solution—a cure—a way to save her.
My dear, stupid, ridiculous, brother wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to save her—no matter the cost.
I barely registered Colby’s mother speaking to me, asking for my opposition.
They didn’t know how much joy it gave me to speak such vile things when in reality, I actually thought Colby was the best of the pair.
She was beautiful.
She was selfless—most of the time.
She loved Theo like men dreamed of being adored.
She was hasty.
She acted before she thought.
And like him, she trusted me way too much.
It would be a tragedy to kill her.
A lovely, painful, bone-chilling tragedy.
And the pleasure was mine.
“You nervous?” Theo’s father asked me in a voice that warmed me to the core. If I closed my eyes, I could imagine it was my own father instead of a substitute. Very few people, some I loved with my soul and some I hated by the same token, had gathered to see what I never thought would happen. This was the greatest desire of my heart when I was a girl and the very occasion that shook me to the core as I grew older and more in love with Theo every passing day. The gardens that my grandmother was buried in also held the ashes of the one who started this all, Xoana. The flowers that tickled my nose as a child had blossomed and bloomed just for this day.
The expanse was breathtaking.
There was nothing I could do in that moment, but be grateful that I was a daughter of Xoana, blessed with the gift to surpass time and space and a mate whose love did the exact same thing.
This was more than a wedding—more than a legal certificate proving the event—more than people saying words. Under the watch of the Almighty, Theo and I, in this ceremony would be seen as inseparable—two sides of one coin.
I wasn’t nervous anymore. I wasn’t excited or anxious. Weightlessness filled me.
“Numb—numb is the word,” I croaked. He laughed just like Torrent, all crackles and cracks.
“Numb is better than he is.” With a tip of his chin, Mr. Ramsey pointed to Theo. He was standing at the makeshift altar, an obvious bundle of chattering nerves, but he couldn’t see us. Theo wasn’t a nervous person. He was the valedictorian of our high school class and didn’t even write the speech down—he simply got up to the podium, flashed the audience one of his grand smiles, and winged it.
Of course, the speech was perfection and had everyone in the audience on their feet clapping like they’d just witnessed a miracle.
I snickered to myself at the thought. They were right, after all. Theo was a miracle. He was my miracle and most of the world would never know the possibilities he held in his hand.
His dark brown hair was a little longer than he usually wore it, so every couple of seconds, he would comb through it with his fingers, trying to tame what was usually a perfected patch of strands. He’d rolled and unrolled the sleeves of his white button-down shirt about a half a dozen times just while we stood, waiting for the music to begin.
It was then, while no one but my future father-in-law stood beside me, I saw a shred of the Theo I knew in the dark. The one who whispered Portuguese promises in my ear, the one who didn’t carry a title or a debt to anyone. He bowed his head, just the slightest bit, and smiled at the ground, the smile reserved only for me, as though my face were reflected in the shine of the grass at his feet.
That audience at graduation was right.
And somehow that miracle had chosen me as a mate.
“I’m ready.” I proclaimed to Ari by mouthing the words and then to Theo’s father at my arm.
She walked over to Theo’s father and me and whispered, “The music hasn’t started yet.”
Ari popped out her hip and gave me a hug. I thought I heard her sniffle once and then she turned around so fast that I couldn’t see.
“The girl said she’s ready. Screw the music. We’ve all waited long enough for this.”
For once, Ari’s cutthroat honesty fared well for me.
Regina stood when I entered the circle of gardens where my family, what was left of it and Theo waited. Even Torrent had dressed for the occasion, his black suit a stark contrast to his brother. Collin and Pema stood at the edge of the gardens, both observing and playing bodyguard.
There was so much that could go wrong other than what already had occurred. Regina could easily sit through the entire ceremony and then deem it void. Sanctum could refuse to be the opposition. My mother could relent to her ever bottled up feelings and crash in a heap, refusing to officiate.
Or Theo could actually use his good sense and flash to the one place I couldn’t go get him.
That one was the most probable.
I tried like hell to focus on something else, so I focused on the dress that Theo’s mother had skillfully made fit me again. The lace of the hem danced along the top of my feet as I walked, reminding me that it was there, telling of the future dreamt so long ago.